


Permanently Blue For You

by SolidFerret



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: "I'm gonna write some fluff", "Oh god that's angst I'm an idiot", Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, One-Sided Attraction, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2020-09-05 22:14:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 106,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20280682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolidFerret/pseuds/SolidFerret
Summary: When her mother suddenly sends her to a University, Bernadetta finds herself lost in a new world she has no knowledge of. The only thing she knows of is that she pines for Dorothea, hard. Other than that, most people around her are a mystery. Between classes, student shenanigans, casual drinking and smoking at parties, Bernie wonders if she's cut out for the adult life.





	1. Bernie Lost Item

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up, there's wording in this fic that can be seen as "demeaning" to characters, that's just their a portrayal of their thoughts and stuff.

**Bernie Lost Item**

Garreg Mach University, or GMU, was her new home, at least, that’s what Bernadetta von Varley thought. In truth, it was an entirely new world that was forced to brave on her own. For about a month, she had attended class under the Back Eagle house, one of the three houses that students were assigned to. Of that, only a small handful were living in the shared dorms on campus. 

It seemed as though she had a new family here as well. Like any other family to her, most of the members scared her. That wasn’t as unusual for Bernie, however, and to be fair they were so much better to her in one month than what she had back home. Still, she was a nervous wreck around them, and the guilt of being that way around some weighed heavy on her. To their credit, they did a good job of being compatible people with her.

There was Casper, who seemed a bit too headstrong and tempered, almost too eager to prove something. She also got along with Ferdinand, putting up with his posh personality surprisingly well, almost too well. It wasn’t all fortunate, as Bernie was still terrified of the likes of Edelgard and Hubert. At least Edelgard could be supportive and even inspiring to her at times, but Hubert makes Bernadetta shiver in fright just from making eye contact with him. At least her professor was kind, and very patient with her. He would praise her on a job well done and console her if she messed up. Though she could tell he had a hard time dealing with her shyness at first, just another thing to feel bad about.

Even though her housemates were kind to her, at least she hoped, there was one to her that took up the space in her heart. Her cheeks flushed just thinking about her fellow housemate. At first she didn’t think much of her, dismissing her as just another classmate she’d have to get to know. It didn’t take long after they had met for the lavender haired girl to have an admiration for her. From there, it seemed every day made Bernie “admire” her even more.

Then she started stalking her instagram, and when she saw the summer beach trip pics... ‘hoo boy.’

Bernadetta has a crush. A very deep one at that. One that scared her to think about how deep it was. She never had a good history with them when she was younger, and it’s not like her feelings were encouraged as a child. All Bernie knew from romance was movies, visual novels, regular novels, anime, and other various media and even she knew it was a bunch of unrealistic nonsense.

Putting her earbuds in to drown out her thoughts, Bernadetta decided that at the very least she could make her routine visit to the campus coffee shop. The September weather gave for a bright, warm day, just not cold enough to start wearing Autumn clothes yet. Still, it almost had a cheery, spring vibe as Bernie clutched her sketchbook, and walked through the main area. The “campus cats,” as they were called, were roaming out and about, finding scraps of food to eat and avoiding students trying to pet them. She’s petted two of them, so Bernie felt an upper hand on some of the students at least. It brought a grin to her face, and maybe later she’d find a deserted, shady spot and sketch one of them from a distance. 

Class had gotten out for the day, so the school grounds was active with the students who were hanging around or studying. At times like these, scholars could visit some of the local businesses near or on campus. One of which was the coffee shop, where a particular student worked at that Bernadetta hoped to _ “coincidentally” _ see today.

Dorothea Arnault danced on her feet as she prepped an iced white chocolate mocha with caramel first, then whip cream second, as the customer had requested. Humming a tune to herself as crafted the drink to an expert level, Dorothea caught sight of head of lavender hair in her line and smiled. The brunette enjoyed visits from her classmates and friends and Bernadetta was no exception. Despite her timid nature, Dorthy could count on Bernie to brighten her mood, holding dear affection for her inside. During their short time here, the two had bonded over a share of love for arts, movies, going as far as to name two black cat siblings on the campus “Peach” and “Daisy.”

“Hey you.” She greeted, startling Bernie inside over her excitement when Dorothea greeted her. “The decaf usual?”

“Yes,” Bernadetta nodded, grinning a little. “Unless you guys have Pumpkin Spice finally.”

Shaking her head, Dorothea flashed a smile to her. “Sorry Bernie, not yet. But I promise, when we get it you’ll be the first to know.”

Paying for her order, Bernadetta took her seat at an empty table and put her earbuds back in. It felt wrong to watch her, but Bernie couldn’t take her eyes off of her as Dorothea gracefully prepared her cup of coffee. The way her hair swayed gently with her movements, the way her eyes sparkled naturally, and the ways her lips gleamed in the light. Not wanting to break out of her daydreaming just yet, she flipped to a page in her sketchbook. Taken inspiration from one of her profile pictures, the timid girl had sketched Dorothy in secret, the woman who took her heart. No one knew of its existence, it was her secret that she kept. She hugged it close to her chest, closing her eyes as she imagined how the affection would feel. 

“One decaf coffee, with three sugar packets and two creams, one for drinking and one for the coffee.” Dorothea announced her presence, surprising Bernadetta with her coffee, startling the girl. “Sorry about that. My manager let me on break. You don’t mind if I sit here with you, do you? I promise not to bother you.” She asked, batting her eyelashes.

“O-of course.” Bernie could only imagine how that would have felt if she was making eye contact. Instead, she turned away, losing herself in her music as she started a drawing of a tree starting to lose its leaves outside the window. Most people who knew Bernadetta were aware that she could enjoy a comfortable silence with someone she trusted. The two sat, Dorothea checking her phone while Bernadetta traced the outline of the tree.

It took awhile before someone broke the silence. Dorothea glanced over at her friends drawing of the tree, which had already finished it’s outlines and began to take shape. “You’re pretty good at that,” She said, causing Bernie to nearly jump in her seat. She quickly passed her music before turning around. 

“Oh yeah, thanks.” She replied, her cheeks getting a little red from the compliment. It was still alien to receive compliments over mundane things, but the fact that Dorothea was someone who would give praise for such a small thing made Bernadetta's heart flutter.

"How do you feel about portraits?" Dorothea asked. 

Bernadetta's heart nearly stopped. Her next words could drastically change the tone of the conversation. Should she admit she's already drawn them, and would it be wise to show her the one she's already made of her? How would Dorothy react, find it strange, call her weird, say she loves it so much that she wants to marry the artist. She was at a crossroads.

"I uhm, I practice them. They're not any good yet." Bernie admitted. She got up, grabbing her pencils and putting them in her bag. "I gotta get going. Professor Byleth wanted to do a tutoring session today." She told her. "I'll… see you back at the dorms, right?"

"Of course, I think Casper mentioned something about a movie night or something so I'll see what I have planned." Dorothea said.

"Ohthatsgreatseeyabye" She blurted out, leaving Dorothea stunned a little. It tore Bernadetta at the seems to be like this at times. "Sorry, sorry," She repeated.

"Its okay, don't worry too much. Professor Byleth may be rumored to he heartless but he isn't a monster." Dorothea encouraged. "Just do your best, okay Bernie?"

Only nodding, Bernadetta grabbed her cup of coffee as she left. 'Smooth one, Bernie.' She thought to herself. The struggle of putting up a facade that she knew what she was doing when talking to others wasn't fooling anyone, the girl thought. Her stammering speech, her anxious mood, the panicked everything about her, Bernadetta could only hope that they were being nice to her out of true intentions and not pity.

At least drawing was something she could lose herself in. Something she had taken up when she was younger, her parents never paid much mind to it. Now the empty spaces on the wall in her room were occupied with the sketches and drawings that got her own special seal of approval.

The image of the tree burned vividly in Bernadettas mind, and all she could picture was her and Dorothea resting underneath its shade, arms around each other. Perhaps she could work on it a little before her session. Mentally going over which page it was in her sketchbook, Bernadetta came to a realization.

"Shit!"

It was forgotten at the coffee shop. Left out in the open. Her own world, her creations were now exposed to the general public to view and it terrified the timid girl. Spinning on a heel, she sprinted back to the cafe as fast as she could. Stamina wasn’t one of her few qualities, so by the time Bernadetta got back to the spot where she had left it, she was gasping for air. 

It was gone. Missing, gone, stolen, it’s contents being mocked possibly by her peers. She looked everywhere, under the table, under another table, and in the trash. The more she looked, the more she panicked. 

“Sent her home early, kid. Just missed her.” The manager called out to her. Ignoring his words, Bernadetta was in front of the counter in a flash, her eyes widened as she stared at him.

“Did you see a sketchbook anywhere?” She frantically asked, trying to peer over the counter.

“I didn’t see anything over there.” The manager told her. “Once you left, a bunch of students sat right over there. One of them was your house leader, her and that creepy pale kid she’s always with were here with a few other Black Eagles.”

Bernadetta’s heart skipped a beat. If Edelgard or, lord help her, Hubert got a hold of it then her life would be forfeit. Surely there was some form of disciplinary action to be taken for admiring a fellow student from afar. She had to act fast, acquire the sketchbook, tear the drawing out, hide it far from the eyes of anyone on this campus where no one would find it.

Pulling out her phone, Bernie typed a message to her most trusted source.

_ Bernie: “mY sketchobook is missing hlp me ples!” _  


Sending it, the girl paced back and forth, desperately hoping for a reply. Soon enough, her phone buzzed, and she quickly pulled it out to see a text from Caspar.

_ Caspar: “Calm down, I’m in the main courtyard if you want to look for it together.” _

Leaving a cloud of dust, Bernadetta took off once again. Tearing through the campus lightning fast, she was able to find Caspar, who was bewildered by her mood. “Everything alright, Bernie?” He asked, as the girl panted from exhaustion. Reaching into his bag, he offered her some of his water which she chugged down in nearly an instant.

“I just… lost…”

“Yeah, your sketchbook. Where was the last place you saw it?” He asked.

“Coffee shop.” She stated. “I went back and it’s gone. They said Edelgard and some others were there.”

“I mean, I can go ask her if she’s seen it. You should see if Professor Byleth has it. He always finds lost items you know.”

“Crap!” She exclaimed. “I had a tutoring session with him.” Turning around to leave, Bernadetta glanced back at Caspar. “Just text me if you find it please, and **do not look in it**.” She told him, doing her best to sound as serious as she could muster.

“Sure thing, Bernie.” Caspar casually responded. “Good luck.”

Out of energy, Bernadetta could only walk back to her class. She had hoped the walk itself would be a calming experience, but even her music could have drowned out the thoughts of what could happen if someone found that drawing of Dorothea. They’d think she was creepy for drawing someone without their permission, and surely she would be mocked by others for thinking she’d even like.

If they found out she had a crush, Bernadetta wouldn’t want to live anymore.

Shaking her head, the lavender haired girl decided it was best to try and focus on her tutoring session. It's best if she pushed those thoughts out of her head for a while. Besides, Professor Byleth was nice, and he often found lost items so girl held her fingers crossed. Making her way to class, Bernadetta stopped outside at the sound of a conversation between her professor and someone else.

  


“I mean come on, it simply will not do.” She lectured, shaking her head. “I’m sure you can get it under control, just don’t make me come back here again.”

Bernadetta watched as a girl that she didn’t recognize with long green hair, very young looking, exit the room and turn to her and shrugged. “Hope you have better luck than I did.” She told her, before walking off. Only confused by the interaction, Bernie walked inside to find Byleth sitting on his desk, resting his head on his hand.

“Uhm…” She was hesitant to speak to him. “Everything alright, Professor?”

“Yeah,” He responded. “Just some, let’s say internal issues.” Byleth told her.

Bernie only nodded in response as she took her seat. “By the way, you wouldn’t happen to have seen a sketchbook lying around campus, would you?”

Byleth’s deadpanned expression didn’t seem to change at all, but Bernadetta could tell he was annoyed by her question. She wanted to retract her question almost immediately, but the teacher only chuckled. “Ya know, I really wish you students would hold onto your stuff better. Sorry, I haven’t seen it.”

The rest of the tutoring session seemed to move at a snail's pace for Bernadetta. Every second would scrape by, each one her anxiety growing. With every tick on the clock, the sound would echo in her mind as if to taunt her with how slow time was moving. Her knee bounced in her seat so rapidly she thought the soles of her shoes would fall off. The only thing that took her mind off it was her teacher, who, for an amatuer, was very good at tutoring her. He’d praise her for a job well done, and console over mistakes. She’d hate to admit it, but Bernie was actually glad to have stuck around in class, even picking up something new along the way.

“I got it!?” She exclaimed, turning back to her professor.

“You did.” He nodded. “We’ll wrap it up with that. Make sure you have today’s assignment done by Friday. You’re free to go.”

“Thankssomuch-” She caught herself, clearing her throat, she vowed not to repeat her mishap from earlier. “Thank you so much, Professor.” She told him, before taking off again.

Checking her phone, she had no notification from anyone. There came a hard exhale out of her nose from pure frustration. Perhaps Bernie found the secret to her anxiety, wait it out till it goes from scary to annoying.  
  
_ Bernie: “Anything? Please?” _  
  
_ Caspar: “Sorry, nope.” _  
  
She almost wanted to throw her phone into the ground and scream. Just one thing to go her way, that’s all she wanted.  
  
“Bernadetta.” Someone called out, in an almost stern sound voice. Looking over, Edelgard marched over to the girl. Bernadetta saw the look of anger in her eyes, and spread her arms. Hopefully, she’d bring the girls end swiftly and save her from this nightmare. “I would hope you would take better care of your things.” She lectured.

Perhaps the anger was over exaggerated, but Bernie’s eyes widened in surprise. “Do you have my sketchbook!?” She exclaimed.

“Yes, Claude noticed it and asked if it belongs to you.”

“You didn’t look in it, did you?” Bernadetta asked, trying once again to put on her stern and intimidating voice, with no effect.

“No, it’d be rude to invade your privacy.” Edelgard told her, reaching into her back.

Grasping at the air in anticipation, Bernadetta watched as Edelgard gripped the book with her fingers caught between two pages. As it was handed over to her, breeze caught it, flipping to the page the house leader had her hand on.

“Oh, that’s a very cute drawing. Have you shown Dorothea yet?”

Her pupils dilated, and she quickly snatched the book from her hands. Sure enough, the vibrant brown hair she drew, along with the outfit she wore in the pic.  
  
“Bernadetta, is everything alright?”

Her soul was exhaled out of her body. Frantically, Bernie turned and grabbed Edie by the collar of her jacket, shaking her vigorously. “Please please please! I’ll do anything for you to not tell her! Please don’t think this is weird! I’m not a pervert, I swear!” She begged, the feeling of tears forming in her eyes.

“Calm-” Edelgard placed her hands on Bernadetta’s wrists and gently pushed her away. “Please calm down,” She put her hands on the girls shoulders. “I don’t understand why I would be mad, it’s a very wonderful drawing.”

“She doesn’t know about.” Bernie started to explain. “I never even asked her if I could, and I figured I would just keep it in my book, leave it there, and then I would die and no one would know.”

Edie only raised an eyebrow to her response. “Come on, Bernie. She wouldn’t think it’s too weird. In fact, I think she would greatly appreciate it.”

She couldn’t respond, only looking back at the drawing. Perhaps it wasn’t as bad as she made herself believe it to be. Running a thumb along the outline affectionately, the artist caught herself smiling at just how wonderful it would feel to show her and the idea of her liking it.

“Oh hey you two!” Dorothea waved, walking over. “You visiting Professor Byleth, Edie?”

“Yes,” the silver haired girl nodded. “And I ran into Bernadetta to give her back her sketchbook.”

“Oh good, you found it.” Dorothy turned to her friend. “I was really worried when you left it, Bernie.” 

Bernadetta couldn’t speak. As far as she was concerned, all these moments were soon to be lost like tears in the rain, because it was time to die. Her knees trembled at what was about to come next, and everything in her head shouted at her to not do this, not make this mistake and get hurt like always. Instead, she inhaled sharply, and turned to Dorothea.

“A-actually I, there’s a drawing, don’t be mad, but when I started drawing I wanted to do a portrait and so…” She gulped catching her breath. “I did one… with one of your pictures and-”

She held out the drawing to her with both hands, hanging her head and trying to hide behind the paper. “D-do you… like it?” She whispered under her breath.

The was an almost too slow quick moment of silence. Then came a slight gasp, of shock, surprise, or disgust, she couldn’t tell. It all felt like no matter what Dorothea’s reaction came too late and that the damage was about to set in.

“Bernie, this. This is incredible.” Dorothy responded. “Can I take a quick picture of it?”

Looking up, Bernadetta was taken aback by the smile Dorothea had on her face. “Of course…” She exhaled. Holding it by the upper left corner, Dorothy took a picture on her phone.  


“Thank you so much Bernie, I love it.” She opened up her arms and pulled the timid girl into a very tight hug.

Bernie’s eyes were wide open in surprise as she looked at Edelgard, who giggled at the girl’s reaction. Everything about it was divine. Her kind voice, the way her hair smelt, the two soft mounds pushing against her chest. She shouldn’t be enjoying those aspects, but she didn’t care.

Pulling away, Dorothea looked back at the two. “I gotta go but I’ll see you guys later tonight, I promise.” She walked away, waving one last time. “Bye Edie, bye Bernie.”

Bernadetta could barely raise her free hand to wave back. Edelgard took notice at the girls state of being. “Everything alright?” She teased. After incoherent stammering, all the girl could muster was a thumbs up. Her face burned a bright red, but at least the trembling stopped.

“Come on, let’s get you back to the dorms. You did good today.”

As soon as she got into her room, the girl stripped to nothing but a shirt and underwear, and laid on her bed with her arms spread. Leaving her window open to let the breeze in, Bernadetta spread her arms across the bed, letting her speaker play some music as she destressed from the days events.

Edelgards words kept playing in her head, for good reason. Her praise seemed to get to Bernie. She did do good, holding it together during dire situations, and coming out even stronger. Now she earned the praise of two peers, one of which she really liked.

Maybe her crush was temporary, she thought. It was possible that all Bernie wanted was to make friends with someone who was caring and kind as they were fashionable and glamorous. Dorothea seemed just like a cool person to be around in her opinion, so maybe she resonated an aura that attracted Bernie.

Her phone buzzed, breaking her out of her thoughts. Expecting a response from Caspar, Bernie was surprised to see an instagram notification from Dorothea. Swiping open her lockscreen, she was treated to a post of the picture of her drawing posted on Dorothy’s profile.

_ @Dorotheatrics: More like BernARTdetta lol! The wonderfully talented and beautiful @BernieTryingArt showed me the incredible drawing today. <3 you Bernie, keep up the good work. _

Never as something made Bernie shake with so much excitement and joy before. Personally praised on her crush’s on social media profile for her art. Once again was the girl blushing deep red as she grabbed a pillow and smothered her face with it, screaming in delight as she kicked her feet on her bed.

Yeah, those feelings probably won’t be going away anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, did you think two black cats being named "Peach" and "Daisy" was a almost too specific Mario reference, you would be right. Those are my cats in that story, cause I love them.
> 
> Also the songs in this chapter are 
> 
> when Bernies walks through campus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9tn1Fs6C4w
> 
> What she listens to in her room at the end: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJGL6GiVpV4


	2. Bernie Drops Till She Shops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time writing Petra dialogue so let me know if it's good or not.
> 
> With apologies to the fans of the TV show Friends

**Bernie drops till she shops**

  
  


“Perhaps… we’d be better off watching something a bit more tame.” Linhardt suggested.   
  
“Perhaps you’d be better off shutting up.” Caspar responded, laughing a little. “Fine, save action movies for later. What do you want to watch, and  _ we will not _ ,” He turned back and looked at Dorothea. “Rewatch the Office for the twentieth time. Pick something else.” He said, turning off the action movie that was playing on Netflix

Dorothy pouted. “Fine with whatever.” She said. 

Mornings like this weren’t too uncommon in the main living room in the house. With the girl’s area being on one side of the house, and the boys being on the other, they would usually gather together like this on the weekends in nothing but their pajamas. An argument over what to watch on Netflix would break out, someone would offer to make others breakfast, be turned down, and then run to somewhere like Mcdonalds for food soon after. The rarest occasion would be a day where everyone would just hang around and do nothing. 

“Perhaps a professional joke teller special would be good.” Petra suggested. 

Bernadetta could tell she wouldn’t want to be around. Holding a cup of coffee, the girl only wore a pair of shorts hidden by an oversized t-shirt. It was gonna be a lazy day for her, but only after she accomplished something. As strange as it was, the only way Bernie would feel good about locking herself away in her room for the day would be if she went outside for something, anything. It was one of her goals in being better, some advice both professor and Edelgard gave her. Seeing as how they were helpful enough to provide advice, the girl thought it’d be best to return the favor and follow it.

“How about we watch Friends?” Linhardt suggested

“Fuck Friends.” Caspar told him.

Finishing her piece of toast, Bernie retreated back to her room. From there, she decided to get dressed and make herself presentable, even if it was only for a few minutes. Outside her window, the sky was hazy with a light blanket of clouds, perfect weather for her to hide under. 

Putting on her favorite hoodie, Bernadetta emerged from her room. The expected banner from downstairs had turned into an all out commotion. A full blown argument between the three guys had broken out over what to watch on Netflix. As Bernie timidly approached the main room, from around the corner did Hubert reveal himself from a shadow. From the visible side of his face did his eyes turn towards her, causing the girl to turn and face away for a moment. She then followed not too far behind as he stormed towards the main room, but she paid no mind to them as he finished whatever argument they were having.

“Bernadetta, where are you going?” Petra asked, ignoring Hubert who pried Caspar off of Linhardt with one arm.

“Oh, I was gonna go walk to the convenience store.” She told her. “I can get you something if you’d like.”

The foriegn girl shook her head. “Just go safely getting there.”

“Thanks Petra, text me when things quiet down.” Bernie told her, as Ferdinand began yelling in pain as Hubert lifted him by the shirt collar.

Being a living-in-house student was considered a big deal on campus, but Bernadetta didn’t seem to care at all about the status. It just meant she had a new room to hide away in from a new group of people she lived with. Nothing entirely new from her old home, just replace her family with classmates.  


'That wasn’t right comparing her classmates to them,' she chided herself internally.  


Her walk took Bernadetta off campus, where she petted a few cats along the way, and into the nearby town. A few shops, grocery stores, and places to eat here and there. Perfect for late night snack runs for your average college student. For Bernie it meant she could go get some junk food and stuff it in her face in her room while playing games on her laptop. 

In and out of the store, Bernie got herself a kit kat bar and Dr. Pepper. Whenever she shops, it’s as quick as possible, fearing the store owner would be suspicious of her. Though she couldn’t even leave the store before she started to eat her snack. She already eaten a quarter of her candy bar when he phone vibrated. Wiping the stained chocolate on her hoodie, she pulled her phone out of her pocket. To her surprise, it was none other than Dorothea texting her.

_ Dorthy: Hey! _

Bernadetta started to shake with excitement and fear. What did this mean? Was she mad? Did she want something? Is she gonna ask her out!? The girl had anticipated the next message, if there was one, as she paced around out front of the store.

_ Dorothy: Wanna go to the mall? _ __   
_   
_ __ Dorothy: Edie will drive us, we can pick you up at the store in less than 5 minutes.

Without even hesitating, Bernie replied with  _ “Sounds great. I’ll be waiting.”  _ Even though she was barely put together. Her hair was it’s usual bed head self, and the clothes she picked out were just fine enough to wear yesterday as they are today. Checking her breath real quick off her palm, the repulsed girl quickly retreated to the store to buy some gum.

When she walked out of the store, Bernadetta got startled by a car horn. Looking over, Edelgard pulled up in a convertible, with Dorothea in shotgun and Petra in the back. “Hop in, girl!” Dorothy called out, as Bernadetta jumped in the car, taking a seat next to Petra.

“I am happy we arrived to you.” Petra said. “Edelgard spoke of going to the mall, we are glad that you are joining us.”

“Oh yeah, thanks.” She responded. All the girls were glammed up, wearing their best outfits. Both Edelgard and Dorothea were wearing a pair of sunglasses, while Petra donned some of her best Brigid based attire. Meanwhile all Bernie had was a hoodie with only a bra on underneath, and the shorts she put on this morning when she woke up. It gave her this out of place feeling, one she didn’t like, yet was used to.

  
  


The clouds were parting, and the sun was shining down on the group as Edel drove them through town. All Bernie would do was sit in the back idly and check her phone. It felt rude to pull out her earbuds, but there wasn’t anything she could contribute to her friend's conversation. Looking over, Petra was also remaining silent, perhaps wanting to say something but unsure of how to word it. She could sympathize, there were plenty of times where Bernie wanted to speak up but couldn’t have the courage to do so.

‘At least she has a better excuse.’ She thought to herself.

“Oh, Dorothy. Sing those high notes!” Edelgard cheered. Hanging her head back, Dorothea sang to the heavens, her voice enrapturing Bernadetta as she listened. A siren was singing to her, she thought. Their voice produced the most beautiful sound, and she knew that if she followed it then she would surely meet her demise.

“Anything the matter?” Petra asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.    
  
“Oh yeah, just,” Bernadetta thought to herself for a moment, unsure of what to really say. “Overthinking.”

Petra placed a hand on her shoulder, patting it a little. “I’ll be there, if you ever need,” She wagged a finger through the air a little, nodding her head before saying “comforting.”   
  
“Of course,” Bernie confirmed. “Thanks. You’re getting better at English.”

“Much thanks, Professor has been teaching me well lately.” She nodded. “I always stay after class with Edelgard for better lessons. She enjoys helping the Professor very much.”   
  
“Look sharp, ladies.” Edel cut in, pulling into the parking structure. “We’re here.” 

The mall was lively for a Saturday morning, with people going about their shopping. For Bernie, it was an entire new world. She had gone to malls before with her parents, now she was with people who expected her to fend for herself. Hiding behind Edelgard, she peeked out to study the environment. From what she learned, it had the essentials, like a Hot Topic, Lush, food court, but to her surprise, had a comic book store as well. 

“Okay, I’m making my usual stop at Lush.” Dorothea explained. “Any of you are free to tag along, I know Edie has an errand to run.”

“Bernadetta,” Petra spoke up also. “There’s a store I’d think you’d,” She thought for a moment. “Participate-no, enjoy.” She said, correcting her english.   
  
With the one person she trusted to protect her, Bernadetta was left with two options, friend, or crush, who was also her friend. To her it seemed like a no brainer, but Petra was nice to her in the car ride over, while Dorothea didn’t say much. At the same time, it didn’t feel fair to knock Dorothy down like that.

“Can we go later, Petra?” She asked. Her friend nodded. “I promise, I’ll meet up with you.”

“Understanding, I will see you soon.” Petra said, before walking off.

It was then that the situation she seemed to cluelessly fall into dawned on Bernadetta. Her and Dorothea were gonna roam the mall together. Just them, while the others were away. Turning over to Dorothea, Bernadetta only trembled in silence as she stared at the woman, who brushed the hair past her shoulder.

“Ready to go, Bernie?” She asked, looking to her and holding out a helping hand.

It was as if all the light in the room focused on her hand, palms up, open, awaiting hers as well. Every line, wrinkle, and print seemed to be hand sculpted by the Gods, it had a sparkle that only stars could replicate.

Taking it with both hands, Bernie’s face glowed a shade of red as Dorothea trekked along. Her hands felt so soft, and comforting, but she knew better than to try and feel them up some more. Still, nothing could stop her from holding on with both hands. In doing so, Bernie could tell she was borrowing time for this moment to last. Chances are, Dorothy wouldn’t appreciate the stares they’d get, thinking they were a couple.

‘Just one person thinking that wouldn’t be so bad.’ She thought to herself as they approached the store. The scent of bath fragrances and soaps wafted into her nose, as if catching her with its comforting scents when Dorothea broke free from her grip.

"Have you tried the lavender scented bath bombs? Wait, scratch that, we don't have tubs at the dorms." Dorothea was giddy with excitement at trying the products. Bernie wasn't as enthused by them as her, but seeing Dorothy be excited over something was its own reward. Watching her as she tried the samples, inhaled the scents of many of the stores products, and gave her recommendations on products, it at least brought a sense of joy to see her crush have fun while shopping. 

"I have been thinking of trying a new shampoo or conditioner so…" Bernadetta trailed off, trying to drum up a topic for them to talk about. At the very least, fruity smelling soaps were something she knowledge of, slightly.

"Oh, are you looking for one that moisturizes your hair, or one that de-tangles locks?" Dorothea asked.

Suddenly she was caught in a trap, expressing an interest in a topic that she had hardly any intelligence on. "One that…" she thought for a moment. "Smells nice, I guess." Dorothea could do was giggle in response, making the girl turn away as a blush crept it’s way onto her face.

“What about this, Bern?” Dorothy picked up a bottle of conditioner. “I borrowed this from Edelgard one time, it made my hair super soft.” She undid the cap, taking a sniff of it’s pleasant scent. “I couldn’t stop playing with it for a few days.”

“You can play with my hair.”

“Huh?”   
  
Bernie yelped in embarrassment, slapping a hand over her mouth, praying no one else in the store paid any notice to her. “I-I just mean, I like to play with my hair so… I guess I’ll get it.”

The look of petrification on her face wouldn’t leave, even as she tried to look normal when she bought the conditioner from the store. Admitting something out loud, as if she had clouded judgement. It had to be the heavy scent of all the bathbombs, Bernie admitted. Everything smelt way too nice that she thought things would go too nice if she spoke up about something. Paying as quickly as she could, nearly screaming at the amount of time it took to read her chip, Bernadetta turned around and began to leave.

“Are you alright, Bern?” Dorothea asked, noticing her friend make her way to the exit.

“Yeah, I just need to get some air so I’ll be outside.” She began to take a step out the door. “But, I’m gonna wait for you.” She reassured her friend.

It was a mere five minute wait, listening to the song play over the mall intercom. Bernadetta was seriously regretting not grabbing her ear phones, leaving her out of her element. Her phone had just dropped below twenty percent and she didn’t have an emergency book on her to start reading. Maybe she could swing by the comic book shop before they left.

“Sorry about that.” Dorothea approached her, a bag in her hand. “I decided to save a bathbomb for when I visit my parents next time.”

How nice that must feel.

“Have any other stores?” She asked.

“Yeah, it’s upstairs.” Dorothea explained. “Come on.”

Bernadetta followed her lead, though the lack hand holding this time. Even if Dorothea didn’t notice, the mention of visiting home, their parents, caused a great rift inside her. Anytime one of her classmates brought up their parents, no matter the context, there would be this divide she’d suddenly feel with all of them. None of them really knew about the relationship she had with her father, or how her mother had raised her. ‘It’d be best.’ Bernie thought, keeping it to herself. ‘The backstory would just bum everyone out.

Beside, Dorothea had a sparkle in her eyes when she told her about visiting her parents. What kind of friend would she be to take that from her.

“So yeah, I was looking to get a new bra and panties.” Dorothea spoke up.

‘Maybe I should ask Dorothy what her parents are like.’ Bernie shook her head, lost in her own thoughts. ‘No, that’d bring up the topic of my parents, and there’s no way she’d-wait what did she just say?’

In following her friend, the two found themselves outside of a Victoria Secrets. While Dorothea seemed to have no problem going inside, Bernadetta was a flustered mess. The idea of being in a store with sexy underwear with her crush was too much to bear, and she knew she wouldn’t make it if she pictured her wearing such items.

“I-uh-I-I might, am gonna.” Bernadetta began to speak. Thankfully, most of her classmates were patient when it came to her stammering. “I was gonna, run to the comic stores which is…” She pointed in a random direction. “That way so… text me later, okay?” She explained.

“Of course, Bern.” Dorothea flashed a grin, being none the wiser. “I’ll see you around.”   
  
Giving a quick wave, Bernadetta quickly stormed off. Dorothea giggled to herself before browsing. She wouldn’t tell her, but Bernie getting nervous was sometimes absolutely adorable. Her eyes glossed over several lingerie, and her mind wandered on what she should get.

Something he’d like, that’s for certain.

Meanwhile, Bernadetta had finally loosened the grip on her hood. With the way her mood was, it was best she retreated and until her mind settled down. Typical Bernie thoughts, ruining something she was very much enjoying with someone. Hopefully, Dorothea didn’t notice, or did but paid no mind.   
  
Bernie surveyed her surroundings. The more she saw the people around her, the more the feeling of fear grew inside her. All alone, she wandered aimlessly through the mall, clutching her phone with the intent of making a call for a friend. She made her way through the mall, slinking around people as Bernadetta tried her best to hide from them.

The comic book store was small, but perfect enough for Bernadetta to hide in for the time being. It felt like a terrible thing to do, running away from Dorothea. ‘Bad, Bernie, bad.’ The girl lectured herself in her mind. ‘She needed you, what if she gets creeped on by some weirdo?’ She asked herself. ‘She’s trained in self defense you dodo. She’d be fine without you.’ Her mind argued as she wandered into an aisle of graphic novels.   
  


“Bernadetta?” Someone asked, causing the girl to squeak before turning around. She didn’t recognize the source of the voice for a moment, as the shock hadn’t settled in right away.

“Flayn?” 

The young girl, a prodigal high school student who graduated early, smiled at her. She was just slightly shorter than Bernie, and a bit more childish than the others. To Bernadetta’s knowledge, her father was one of the assistants of Dean Rhea, making it obvious why she was able to transfer to GMU.

“What are you doing here, Bernie?” She asked, blinking a little. None the wiser, she was, of Bernadetta’s inner struggles at the moment. 

“Just checking out the new releases. You?” Flayn casually responded, not even looking away from the stack of comics she was slipping through.

“I uh, came here with the girls from my dorm.” She explained, taking her hood off.   
  
“Oh, that’s pretty fun.” Flayn said, looking towards her. “I’ve always wanted to go out with friends, if Seteth even would let me.”   
  
“Yeah,” Bernie rubbed the back of her arm. “It’s not all that cracked up to be. I mean, I came here all alone.”

Looking up from her comics, Flayn turned to face Bernadetta. “Yeah, didn’t you want to come here.”   
  
“I mean, yeah. Just, I didn’t have it in me to ask anyone if they wanted to come with.” Bernadetta admitted, tugging on her collar.

“Going alone isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.” Flayn spoke up, catching the girls attention. “You all came as friends, chances are you’ll all leave as friends too. Nothing wrong with sneaking away to go get comics.”

Smiling, Bernadetta inhaled a calming breath, as she grabbed her phone. Opening her contacts, she sent a text to Petra.  _ “Ready to meet up, where are you?” _

“Thanks for the words, Flayn.” Bernadetta admitted. Before the younger girl could respond, the lavender haired girl spoke some more. “So, what kind of comic series are you into?” She asked, wanting to practice her conversation skills.

Instead of answering right away, Flayn kept flipping through the comics before letting out a triumphant “Ah ha!” Pulling out a single graphic novel, showing Bernie the cover. 

“Aquaman!” She declared.

Leaving the shop, Bernie had a spring in her step. Her time with Flayn was mentally refreshing, and the two even planned to talk more often. The two exchanged comic recommendations, with Bernie buying the first two issues to a series she recommended, while also suggesting a manga series to Flayn as well. Now the girl had her head up, hood off, as she made her way through the mall, no longer afraid of the eyes of strangers, haven’t been in this good of a mood in a while. From across the walkway, Bernadetta caught sight of Petra, who had agreed to meet up with her.

“Heya Petra.” Bernie beamed to her. The Brigid girl took notice of her friends enthusiasm. 

“My good, did you buy something happy?” She asked.

“No, just…” Bernie thought for a moment. “Just got a needed pick me up” Instead of responding, Petra spread her arms, approaching Bernie, who stopped her quickly. “Not literally.”

“Apologizing,” Petra nodded. “Happy to see good moods find you. Come, there is shopping stores I wish to show you. Autumn season means next wardrobe.” Turning, the girl lead her friend through the mall, who happily followed her. Bernadetta was excited to see Petra get passionate over learning about the new culture in Fodlan as tried on new clothes.

Taking her words to heart, Bernadetta had decided to try out a new outfit herself. Surprisingly, “alternative” was a word Petra was able to properly use. So when she recommended Bernie a pair of ripped jeans to go with a black long sleeve sweater she liked, the girl decided to follow her friends advice. Checking it out in the mirror, she smiled at the decision of making it her “fall outfit.” From outside the changing room did Petra knock.

“The others are sitting in the food area.” She explained. “I will waiting outside.”

It was a brief moment of a great mood, that by the time the rest of the group met up it had already died down inside of Bernadetta. As much as she wanted Dorothea to see her in that state of mind, it didn’t get to her as much as she thought it would. ‘I’m just happy to see her again.’ She thought. Sitting in a circle as the girls chowed down on french fries, the group shared their shopping endeavors. When it came to Bernie, she admitted the smile Dorothea gave her when she talked about the store they went made her mood rise up again.

“That sounds great Bernie.” She smiled at her. “Yeah, I got a bathbomb from there as well and then, oh, I got the cutest bra and panties today.” Dorothy showed the girls the bag from Victoria Secrets. “I decided was thinking of getting something pink but then I decided black was more fierce, ya know. I wanted something that- Oh my gosh, Bernie!” 

* * *

  
  


“These happen in frequent?” Petra asked.

“Yeah,” Bernadetta told her, leaning her head back as she pressed the tissue to her nose. “I uh- would get them all the time. Usually when I would get stressed over nervous.” She said, hoping of the bathroom sink.

Petra nodded. “Understand, I see why attractive Dorothea talk would make you bleed nose blood.”

“Yeah, I-” Bernadetta shot up from washing her hands. ‘Wait, what!? What do you mean!?” She asked.

“I just find out, Dorothea makes you nerving, wait no, sorry.” Petra paused for a moment. “Nervously when she talks about her undergarments since you have attracted to her.”

“No-no I don’t.” Bernadetta insisted. “That’s not true, she just uh, really makes me nervous because she’s so…” She knew it was fruitless. Petra was extremely smart, and only stared at her with a blank face as her mask crumbled. “Is… it that obvious?”

“Yes.” Petra nodded, smiling. “I found it caring. It is good to admire someone closer to you.” She said, but trailed off as Bernadetta walked up to her, placing her hands on her shoulder.

“Please… please don’t say anything. She doesn’t know, and I, and I.” She stammered, over and over. Petra instead wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close into a comforting. “I’m so scared about what would happen if she finds out.” She sniffed, tears forming in her eyes.

The two stood in silence for a moment, Petra gently patting Bernie’s shoulder before telling her “Not worry, I am trusting with these secrets.” 

Smiling at her, Bernadetta looked up to her friend. “Thanks Petra, I’m glad we’re friends.”

“As am I.” She responded.

* * *

  
  


“We’re back, bitches!” Dorothea announced to a mainly empty common area. The girls looked in, to see Hubert sitting in between Caspar and Ferdinand on the couch, watching tv together.

“So,” Edelgard lectured at the group. “Finally decide on something to watch?”

“Yeah.” Caspar responded, his voice was meek and quiet.

“We did.” Ferdinand timidly answered.

From between them did Hubert cracked the widest, most wicked grin they had ever seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I could picture Dorothea nailing the notes to this song, she sang this in the car https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hARlAT3g5b8
> 
> Since Bernadetta had things she wanted to say but couldn't, this happened to be the song playing inside the Mall https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMSnIFbglNY


	3. Bernie celebrates a birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was something I had wanted to write for a while.
> 
> Also make sure you read Practice Makes Perfect if you haven't.

Bernie Celebrates a Birthday.

  


On the night of September 28th, eyewitnesses recounted seeing a lone hooded figure creep through the Black Eagle dorms at the dead of night. From the creature's mouth was what appeared to be an unopened bag of chips, and in their hands gleamed a silver, sharp object. When seen, the suspect fled into their room, squeaking out in fright and a muffled voice attempting to apologize over and over again. For now, all witnesses can do is just shrug their shoulders and return to bed.

Throwing her hood off, Bernadetta dropped the bag of chips from her mouth. Sitting crossed legged on her dorm room floor, she grinned maliciously. Her plan was set in action, and she’d be up all night if she had to for this. It would be perfect, and she would love it. 

Unlike sketching, which she practiced from time to time, embroidering was something Bernie felt she had true talent in. Thread by thread, stitching it together, she worked tirelessly into the night on her project. The most important project she had ever tackled, she thought to herself. It was supposed to be perfect, and not even the need for sleep would stop Bernadetta from completing her masterpiece.

She would make it her most divine art piece yet… whatever it takes.

* * *

  


“Happy birthday Dorothea!”  
  
What amount of the class that was there had erupted in cheers as soon as she walked into class. The brunette covered her hands with her mouth in surprise before running over to hug them. “Thank you guys!” She exclaimed. “How many of you are gonna hang out tonight?”  
  
“I will,” Caspar raised his hand. “I’ll get beer too.”

“You can buy beer?” Ferdinand asked. 

“Yeah, I turned 21 over the summer.”

“You are shitting me.” He exclaimed in return. “I never really did know your actual age.”

“Wow, some friend you are.” Caspar playfully punched his shoulder, the two sharing a laugh.

“Hey Ferdie, how old am I?” Dorothea asked, her face expectant of the answer.

“Oh you know…” Ferdinand danced around the subject, causing Caspar to laugh at him. “You’re about a… you’re a year older today!” He said, giving her two thumbs up, making Caspar crumble to the floor.

“You ass.” She simply said, laughing as well.

“Great job.” Caspar told him, patting his back. He turned as another entered the class. “What about you Bern, Are you going tonight?”  
  
The girl had just barely entered class and already was someone talking to her. She squeaked in surprise when Caspar dropped a surprise question on her. “Uhm, going where?” She asked, nervous at the idea of what “where” meant,

“Dorothea’s having a small get together tonight with some others. We’ll be drinking but you don’t have to.” Caspar explained to her.

Looking over, Dorothea happily sat her desk smiling at her phone screen. The heart in Bernie’s chest beat faster, as she put an arm around her bag. “Is it okay to just, I dunno, maybe just.” She stammered for a moment.  
  
“You don’t have to, but the invitation is always open.” Caspar said, walking over to his desk. “There’s not a lot of us going since it’s a weeknight, though.” He called over his shoulder to her.

The idea intrigued her, but Bernadetta knew better than to be persuaded by even the idea of social interaction. Instead, her main focus was on the birthday girl, as her legs anxiously carried her over. As Dorothea looked over her phone, smiling at the many notification she had received, Bernadetta’s mind tried to hold her back as her body approached. “Uhm… hi Dorothy.”

Turning her head, the brunette smiled to her friend. “Hey you, love the new outfit.”  
  
“Oh!” Bernie’s face flushed with colour. She was wearing her black long sleeve sweater and ripped jeans, per Petra’s recommendation. “Th-thank you it got, Petra said I should get it at the mall.” Her plan faltered, soon stammering over her words. “I just wanted to tell you happy birthday.”  
  
“Aw, thanks Bernie.” Dorothea stood up and gave the girl a quick hug. “Are you coming tonight? You don’t have to.”

“Oh, uh…” Bernie thought about it for a moment. “I mean, if you’re there I probably could.” She told her. “Because you’re a friend!” She stated. “And you make me feel safe, and you’rereallygreatsomaybeIcouldmakeitIdon”

“Alright, class.” Byleth’s voice spoke out from the front of the room, causing the students to return to their seats. Bernie chided herself for missing her moment to give Dorothea her gift. “As you know, we have a test tomorrow.” He told them, causing the class to groan. “I can see some of you are very much let down by this news… so for those willing, you are free to stay after class and take it. After all, I presume out birthday girl wouldn’t want to spend her birthday studying.”

A few cheers erupted in the classroom. “Thank you Professor.” Dorothea called out to him, blowing the teacher a kiss. His face remained stoic, a tired glare permanent on his face. 

“Hey Professor, you should come hang out with us tonight.” Caspar called out.

“Of course Caspar, I will visit you to make you retake the test you’ll probably fail today.” Byleth responded, causing a few to turn to the student and give him their best “ohhhhh.” “ I’m not entirely sure what my plans are tonight, but don’t hold your breath.”

“Well,” Edelgard spoke up. “I’ll save you a chair, and a beer just in case.” She told him, smiling.

Grinning, Byleth looked back at her. “I think drinking with my students would defeat the purpose.” He said, causing the class to erupt with laughter.

“Damn Professor. We’re not that bad, are we?” Ferdinand asked. 

“So for today’s class,” Byleth reflected the topic. “We’ll be reviewing the history of Nohr, and the topic you wrote about in your essays should…”

His voice drowned out in Bernadetta’s mind. It was gonna be a long period before she’d get the chance to share her gift. Fists clenched in determination, she stared on at Dorothea who typed on her phone under the table. Suddenly, her phone vibrated in her pocket. Bernie’s eyes widened at the prospect of getting a message from her crush in the middle of class, the act seeming like a forbidden contact with her.

** _Shared Group Chat_ ** **** __  
**** __  
_ Dorothea: “Can anyone get me pot for my bday ;)?” _  
  
In her heart, Bernie was let down by the fact it wasn’t a dm. In her mind, she was silently panicking over the idea of her classmates asking others for drugs so casually. She wasn’t sure if this was a normal thing in College. Another vibration in her pocket, and someone had responded.  
  
_ Claude: “I gotchu gurl!” _  
  
Maybe it was best if Bernadetta just focused on class today.

* * *

  


The clouds had parted, bathing the campus in warm sunlight as the Black Eagles were dismissed from their classroom. Bernadetta’s sweater didn’t do her any favors under the sun as she exited the building. As her classmates were leaving, she could spot Dorothea with a group of others following her. All she could hear from them was about plans for that night, which she paid no mind to. Right now, her priority lies squarely on the birthday girl, who laughed along with her friends.  
  
Reaching it her bag, Bernie revealed her gift to herself. She knew Dorothea would appreciate the accessory, and the fact that it was something she had made with her own hands gave it tremendous value in her heart, which she’d gladly give to Dorothy.

The group dispersed, now was her chance. A brief window in which Dorothea was open for an approach. Bernadetta knew this was the part where she had to ignore all the thoughts in her head and take a step forward. As she walked forward, Dorothea glanced up from her phone and noticed Bernie’s advance, flashing her a smile.

“So how do you think you did?” She asked her casually.

“Oh well you know, I finished it pretty quickly so…” Bernadetta shrugged her shoulders, smiling awkwardly as she kept her hands in her pockets. “Probably bad.” She chuckled. In return, her lame attempt at a joke found resonance with Dorothea, who giggled.

“Right, you’re like “this test is so easy… which means I’m totally failing.” Dorothea responded, tilting her head as she snickered. “By the way, are you coming to the get together tonight? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“Oh uhm… I’m not sure honestly.” She raised her arm. “B-but incase I don’t, I got this, made it, for you last night.” She showed her hand, revealing an embroidered red rose with a pin on the back. “H-h-happy birthday Dorothea.”

“You made this for me?” Dorothea squealed in delight, taking it in her hands. “Thank you so much Bernie!” She pulled her friend into a tight hug. “I love it so much, thank you.” She spoke into her ear, swaying side to side for a while. Bernie returned the hug, holding it for a while. She had overcome her anxieties again and wanted to enjoy the affection she so rarely got. 

“Oh, hi Manuela.” Dorothea spoke up, still holding the hug. 

“Hi there sweetie.” Manuela said. “Enjoying your birthday so far?”

“I mean it’s just been class all day.” She explained, standing upright. “But it's been nice. Look! My friend made this for me.” Dorothea held out the pin Bernie had made.

“Aw, that’s very sweet.” The teacher complimented, looking over at Bernadetta. In her mind, Manuela was a taller, older, and more seductive version of Dorothea, making her all the more nervous. “You’re very lucky to have a friend like her in your life.

“Sure do.” Dorothea agreed, patting Bernie’s head gently. “So, what do you plan to do for the rest of the day?”

“Oh well I was going to go get some lunch and thought perhaps a student could join me?” Manuela spoke, turning and grinning to Dorothea.

“Wait! Are you for real!?” Dorothea asked. “You’re not serious, are you!?” The singer’s excitement was getting the best of her as she fanned her face.

“Well, how about it?” The teacher asked. “We can sing along to the radio on the way there?”

Screaming in delight, Dorothea practically jumped for joy. “Yes! YES!” She yelled. She turned back to Bernadetta. “Okay, I’m gonna go.” She spoke quickly. “I will be back at the dorms later tonight, I promise.”

“Oh, yeah it’s fine. _ I get not wanting to hang out with me. _” Bernadetta shook her head, trying to get that thought out. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

Dorothea smiled, waving goodbye as she watched them leave, and Bernadetta could see how well the two were together. They shared a love for singing, and had such great chemistry with each other. Admittedly, she did like to sing to herself when she’s alone in her room, but casual singing was nothing compared to the true talent Dorothea had. The brunette could enrapture an entire group of people with her singing, the way her body moves and her voice flows was the stuff of legends in Bernie’s mind. She had only seen it on video and would kill to experience just once in person.

Sighing to herself, Bernadetta took a seat by the fishing pond. Putting her ear buds, she merely closed her eyes and let the September breeze pass by her. For now, regardless of attending or not, all the girl planned to do was take a breather, listen to a song and let the oncoming Autumn colours drown her unhappy thoughts. Contrary to belief, Bernie did enjoy being outdoors. Every Autumn her parents would let her play outside in the leaves, and since then the time of year held a special place in her heart. For now, regardless of what her head told her, she’d enjoy this time that was given to her.

It only lasted for about half of the song, before a shadow loomed over her. At first wanting to pay no mind, Bernadetta figured it would be rude to ignore whoever was standing near her. Taking an earbud out, she was surprised to see Marianne standing before her.

“Oh uhm, hi Marianne.” Bernie greeted. For a moment there was an uncomfortable silence that brought a great deal of anxiety to her. At first she wasn’t sure if the girl planned to speak at all.

“Hello, Bernadetta.” Marianne said. “I was just wondering,” Her voice trailed off, and her eyes wandered to the side for a moment. “Are you going to Dorothea’s get together tonight?”

She opened her mouth to tell her no, but Bernie stopped herself. Deep down, she knew she was lying to herself to outright refuse the idea of attending. If Dorothea wanted her to go, of course she would. “I’m not sure.” She answered truthfully.

That answer didn’t seem to be enough for Marianne, who lingered around after Bernie’s response. At first she was certain she had said something wrong and wanted to rush in with several apologies. Her hand raised in defense, she lowered it and considered a different course of action.

“I’m curious, why did you ask me?” Bernadetta asked the girl. This only made Marianne feel like she was put on a spotlight, which made her seem unnerved in Bernie’s eyes. 

“Oh well, not to sound too rude but you are kinda shy…” Marianne spoke up. “But I was asking because I am with Hilda.” She said, smiling lightly. “I normally don’t go out that much with the others, but she talked me into it.”

It was a sweet gesture, Bernie thought. It made her think if there was a friend she had who _ really _ wanted her to go. ‘ _ No one does.’ _She blinked and said “That’s really nice of you to go with her.” Caspar was going, she knew. They got along, but she wasn’t sure if they were on the same social spectrum when it comes to gatherings. Edelgard was supposedly attending, but that was before she decided to stay after class to work on her assignments, plus she still scared Bernadetta a little.

“Even if you don’t have someone to go with, we’d still like it if you came.” Marianne told her. “I’ll be seeing you around.” She said, taking her leave.

Bernadetta sat where she was, waving goodbye before putting her earbud back in. As the song resumed, her mind wandered to Dorothea and the idea of her seeing Bernie arrive at her get together. She kept all her thoughts in check, lest one go out of line. After her reaction to receiving the gift, she could have taken that victory and been satisfied with the day.

‘It’s not like they’re around to stop you.’ She thought to herself, the first semi-encouraging thought she’s had all day. It rarely did occur to Bernie that there wasn’t a ball and chain on her here, and that she was free to do what she wanted without the approval of her parents. That did include, however, the choice to decline and stay in her room tonight.

But that would hurt Dorothea, she thought.

* * *

  


“And then Hanneman looks at me and he is agasp just like” Manuela imitated her colleagues facial expression to Dorothea, who giggled in delight at her teachers stories.

“God I wish I had you for a teacher.” Dorothea stated, before eating a couple of french fries.

“Oh please, I’m sure Byleth is a wonderful teacher to you all.” The older woman told her, before taking a bite out of her cheeseburger.

“Wonderful teachers treat you to fast food places on your birthday.” Dorothea said, taking a bite out of her burger. “That-” She held up a finger as she finished chewing. “That said, he did let us take a test early so we didn’t have to study for it tonight.”

“Well there you go.” Manuela commended. “You got a nice young, fine looking teacher-”

“Do you have the hots for him, Miss Manuela?” Dorothea accused, causing the woman to hush her. 

“Well you see, the thing is,” She stopped to take a sip of her soda. “Maybe.”

“Oh my you sly dog you.” Dorothea told her, giggling to herself. 

“I mean don’t lie, he’s almost your guy’s age. There are even some students on campus older than him.” Manuela explained. “Cannot understand why Rhea even hired him.”

“All I’ve heard is that his dad was in the military, like a real war hero.” Dorothea explained. “I’m not sure if he’s had military experience. Whenever we ask him he just somehow dodges the question.”

“So what you’re saying is you like a man in uniform?” 

Dorothea held her hand over her mouth. “No!” She said in a hushed whisper, hoping no one was overhearing them. “No, never said that.”

Manuela grinned. “Have your eyes on anyone?”

“Well,”

“Oh,” The woman lit up. “Tell me more.”

“Nothing in concrete yet, but there is a student. They’re kinda shy and reserved but I don’t know,” Dorothea’s eyes wandered over herself. “I think he has eyes on me.”

“I say go for it.” Manuela ushered. “You’re a very wonderful girls and anyone would be lucky to have you.” She told her. “I can see you taking the lead on some of these things, you just got to strut your stuff.”

Dorothea blushed from the compliment. “Thank you, really. I needed to hear that.” She admitted. “But enough about me, what about you? How’s the dating scene for you?”

“Well, like a lake on a busy boating day, the waters are choppy.” The teacher dreaded. “That said, I did decide that maybe I try my eyes on the… younger types.”

“Oh, really?” Dorothea asked. “Wanna fill me in, anyone catch your eyes? Please don’t say my teacher.”

“Oh no, I’ll just say this.” Manuela’s eyes drifted to the side. “There’s a reason I chose this place.”

Dorothea stared back, and realized the teacher was looking past her. Turning over her shoulder, she took a glance at where she was looking. “Him?” She pointed.

Manuela nodded, smiling dreamily to herself.

“The guy who recognized us? A fast food worker?”

“Young lady,” Manuela scolded. “It is an honest living that he’s earning as a student, and damn it.” She got up out of her seat. “I’m gonna go ask for more ketchup and see if he gets the hint.”

Giggling in delight, Dorothea weakly patted her arm to encourage her. “Go get him.” She quietly cheered. “And hey if he isn’t interested, get me his number.”

* * *

  


Bernadetta sat quietly in the common room. Some were planning on where to shop, asking where others were at the moment, or just simply watching Netflix. From within the buzz of minimal activity did she merely observe. She wanted to contribute in some way, yet was unsure how. No one was expecting anything from her and didn’t feel the need to ask.

“So Petra can’t make it.” Caspar explained, holding his phone. “Lindhardt passed out after class, shocking I know, haven’t heard anything from Edelgard, Claude said Hilda will bring firewood and that he also couldn’t get us pot, Sylvian is coming, so be ready for him to try for him to pull some shit.”

“Alright, I can set up the fire pit with him when Claude gets here.” Ferdinand explained. “Go get us so beer. Here,” He handed Caspar a twenty dollar bill. “From me,” He handed him another. “And from Edelgard. She wants Mike’s Hard, Dorothea requested Modelo, I’m fine with whatever and if the rest don’t like what we have they can get over it.” 

“I got you.” Caspar took the money, patting Ferdinands back. “I’mma head out. Dorothea should be back soon.” He said, walking towards the door.

Bernie had a choice, stay with Ferdinand, go with Caspar. She knew it was something she shouldn’t lament over for too long yet did anyways. Ferdinand needed help, and Caspar was going outside. On the other hand, going outside was an adventure, a scary one, but one nonetheless. 

“Peace homies.” Caspar called out, throwing up a peace sign as he left.

Making her choice, she hopped out of her chair. Pulling the door open, she close dit behind her quickly as she ran out of the house. “Caspar wait!” She called out. Stopping, he turned around, tilting an ear towards her. “Uhm… I can go with you, if you’d like.” She asked.

Caspar shrugged. “Sure, come on.” He called her over. “You’re not planning on making me buy you something, right?”

“No! I just wanted to come with.” She explained.

“It’s all good, glad to have you.” Caspar told her. 

The walk to the store was oddly quiet, even for Bernie’s standards. In her mind, it seemed she was robbing him of desired interaction. She knew she wasn’t socially compatible with people like Caspar, but he seemed to be able to get along with everyone just fine so maybe the problem was her. Under the dusk sky, she searched for a topic to bring up, just anything to get a topic going.

“I like this time of day.” She said.

Nothing from Caspar, his head just wandering side to side. Her attempt to start talking had failed, thought she wasn’t gonna try to let it get to her later. “Sorry, it was really quiet so I thought…”

“Oh no, I was just looking around. You’re right.” He told her. “It is nice this time of day.” He said, looking up.

As the sun’s light diminished, the sky was met with a clash of pink and orange with blue approaching quickly. The shadows in the town saturated the colours in all the lights on the buildings and streets. To Bernadetta, she tried her hardest to imagine she had stepped into a painting, a beautiful world someone had created in their mind.

“You didn’t have to talk,” Caspar explained. “I enjoy your company even if you’re quiet the whole time.” He turned back, smiling. “You have a calming atmosphere.”

Turning her face away, Bernadetta blushed hard at the compliment. “Th-thanks Caspar. I just wanted to know.” She said to him.

“Anytime, Bernie.” Caspar said as he held the door open to the store. 

Their first and only stop was the alcohol section at the fridge. Bernadetta held her stomach, the idea of drinking alcohol around people outside her family seemed to repugnant. Perhaps she wouldn’t indulge in this vice tonight.

“You gotta help me carry some.” He told her, handing her a case of beer. “I know I’m repeating myself but if you don’t want to, you don’t have to drink anything tonight.

“I just don’t like the taste.” She explained.

“Oh yeah, I feel it.” Caspar told her, grabbing a case of IPA’s. “You’d probably like Mike’s Hard, it’s basically spiked lemonade.”  
  
“Maybe I’ll try it…” She thought out loud.

“That’s the spirit.” Caspar told her, handing her a case. “Let’s get going.

The amount of time it took for the cashier to scan Caspar’s ID gave Bernadetta more anxiety than she could bargain for. Yet, it checked out and he was able to purchase a decent amount of alcohol. Leaving the store, it felt wrong yet rebellious to be carrying alcohol down the streets and back to their dorm room.

“Come on!” Caspar called out to her as he ran across the street. Bernadetta followed, excited at their small visit to the shop. 

“Honestly, I didn’t think I’d have this much fun.” Bernadetta admitted, trying to catch her breath.

“See, you feel cool when you get to buy alcohol for the first time.” Caspar told her. “Let’s go, we gots to get the goods to the party.”

Walking back to the dorm room, Bernadetta could see a firepit set up out in front of the Black Eagles house. From outside, Ferdinand and Sylvian were talking to Claude while Hilda and Marrianne sat on chairs that had been set up.

“Calvary is here fellas!” Caspar yelled over the lawn to them. “We got Modelo, we got Mike’s Hard, I got IPA.”

“This guy.” Claude pointed out. “Buying beer he knows only he will drink.”

“Oh I’m sorry, next time you buy.” Caspar smirked at him.

“I will.” Claude told him. “Alright, let’s get these in an ice chest and then we can light this bitch!” He declared out loud.

Bernadetta handed off a case to Claude before taking her seat. Marriane gave her a smile as Sylvian and Ferdinand sat down, deep in a conversation that she couldn’t hope to decipher. From within the house did Hilda trudge out with firewood in her arms as Casper and Claude carried an ice chest together.

“So get this, Hanneman isn’t doing any classes tomorrow.” Clause said. “You have no idea how exciting the prospect of being in a robe and pajamas all day is to me.”

“Wow, look at that. Claude’s happy on losing out on an education.” Hilda teased. 

“Hilda, you’re just mad that I just described your average weekend.” Claude told her, placing the ice chest down. “I’m gonna sit with my legs spread on the couch, gonna watch Netflix and have myself a grand ol time.”

“Just put on Family Guy and piss her off.” Caspar suggested, taking his seat.

“Ha! Yeah I could.” Claude agreed, reaching into the ice chest. As he closed the chest, he placed a bluetooth speaker in an empty chair. “Alright, let’s get some chill tunes to drink slash mentally breakdown to.”

“Speaking of mentally breaking down, I finally watched Neon Genesis recently.” Hilda told the group. “Marriane suggested it to me.” She looked over at her friend. “I told her the other day I was like “yeah I never seen it” and went “_ really Hilda? _ ” The girl spoke, imitating her friend’s hushed voice to near perfection. “She was like “ _ Hilda, you talk about Neon Genesis _ ** _all_ ** _ the time _.” She concluded with a giggle, as a few others chuckled around her.

“I was shocked you had never seen it.” Marriane said.

“I just like saying the name and quoting memes from it.” She had explained. “Also I kinda know everything.” She leaned over to grab a beer from the cooler. “By the way, does anyone know where the birthday girl even is?”

“I haven’t seen her since class, I’ve texted her a bunch of times” Ferdinand explained.

“She might have you blocked, let me try.” Claude said.

“Dude.”

“I mean it’s her birthday, you’d think she’d show up.” Caspar commented.

“You know what, fuck her birthday. We’ll have her party without her.” Claude sarcastically stated, getting a few laughs.

“She went out to lunch with Manuela after class.” Bernadetta spoke up.

“Oh, nice.” Hilda complimented.

“How come she gets to go out with her?” Sylvian complained, much to the annoyance of others.

“It’s obvious, Dorothea is trying to fuck your teacher.” Claude insisted, causing Hilda to do a spit take. 

“Thanks for that take, Claude.” Ferdinand told him, getting up and grabbing a cold one. Before another topic could be started, from behind them did they hear someone call out to them.

“Hello fellow boys and girls!” Dorothea waved, running up the path to the house. “Sorry I’m late, lunch went a little later than expected.”  
  
“No worries,” Claude said to her. “Happy birthday.”

“Yeah, happy birthday Dorothea.”

“Happy birthday.”

“Happy birthday girl.”

Dorothea pressed her fingers to her lips and blew them all kisses. “Thank you guys, really. Means a lot you all came.”

“Had nothing better to do.’ Claude stated flatly, before a smile crept on his face. “By the way, I’m sorry but I couldn’t get us pot. Dealer told me they were extremely busy. They’re words, not mine.”

“Shit,” Dorothea said, sounding let down. “It’s all good. Just promise to try and get some for Thanksgiving break.”

“Definitely, if not I’ll get some from my own stash.” 

“Alright, beer me fellas.” Dorothea proclaimed. Sylvian was the first in grabbing her a drink. Taking her seat, the girl got comfortable. “So yeah, went to Mcdonalds for lunch with Manuela.” She told them.

“Yeah we heard. Did you go to the one down the road by the Pizza place?” Claude asked, standing up and grabbing a lighter. “I got a buddy I went to high school with I still talk to and his boyfriend works at that one I think.”

As Claude worked to get the fire going, Bernadetta noticed how amused Dorothea appeared to be for a split second. As the fire got going, the sun had set and the group began basking in its glow. For a while the group just sat, until none other than Edelgard showed up.

“Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to be late. I was extremely busy today.” She told them. 

“No you’re fine, trust me I was late too.” Dorothea said, getting out of her chair to quickly hug her friend. 

“I got you Mike’s Hard.” Caspar stated. Relieved, Edelgard grabbed one from the cooler. “Anyone else?” He asked. “You all good?” 

Bernadetta held her tongue for a brief moment, before letting go and saying whatever thoughts came out. “I’ll take a Mike’s Hard.” She said, almost not expecting anyone to hear her.

“Sure thing.” Caspar told her, grabbing one and handing it to her. Holding it in her hand, Bernadetta held onto the bottle a long time before finally deciding to open it. Verbally struggling for a moment, she managed to get it open. Hesitantly taking her first sip, she was pleasantly surprised by the sweet taste.

“Not bad.” She whispered to herself. 

“Everyone got their drinks, let’s toast.’ Claude told them.  
  
The group got on their feet as quickly as they could, even Marriane who possessed no drink in hand. Clinking their bottles together, they all chanted “Happy birthday Dorothea.” Before taking a large sip of their drink. Caspar got his arm to close to the flames, crying out in shock at how hot his arm got.

“Careful!” Dorothea lectured him.

“Don’t worry Caspar.” Ferdiand told him. “Next time I’ll pick you up and lift you over the fire so you don’t get hurt.”

“Fuck you.” Caspard retorted. 

“And if you happen to drop him,” Sylvian said. “Well, that’d be hilarious.’ He said, making Ferdinand laugh.

“Asshole.” Caspar muttered, taking a sip of his drink.

“Is that anyway to talk to a friend?” Ferdinand asked him. “All I do is offer you a helping hand,”  
  
“Not the only helping hand he offers.” Claude snickered to himself as Hilda smacked him.

“I’mma throw this drink in your face.” Caspar playfully threatened, scooting his chair over and grabbing his friends collar and shaking him lightly, laughing.

“Screw you Caspar you’ll need a ladder to do that.” Ferdinand chuckled.

“Yeah, get em.” Edelgard cheered in a deadpan expression.

“Kiss my ass Ferdinand.” Caspar yelled out. “You ain’t shit unless you got-” His head did a double take, and his friend soon followed. “Oh shit!” They exclaimed.  
  
“PROFESSOR!”  
“PROFESSOR!”  
  
From within the night did Byleth seem to emerge to the group. Several cheers erupted and Dorothea hopped out of her seat to give her teacher a hug, lifting a leg in the air as she leaned into it. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Yeah there was a noise complaint. Something about a kid with blue hair kicking everyone in the shins.” Byleth joked, his face stone cold as ever. “What kind alcohol do you guys have?”

Edelgard was the first to get up and walk over to the cooler. “We got Modelo, we got Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and we got IPA’s if you want anything.”

“An IPA will work. You don’t mind if I sit, do you?” Byleth ask.

“Go on ahead. We have a few extra chairs.” Edelgard told him, handing him a beer.

Taking a seat next to her, Byleth opened the bottle with just a chopping motion of his hand and took a big sip of it. As all the students watched him, he decided to break their silence.

“You’re all twenty one, right?” He asked.

“Hilda isn’t.” Claude told him, turning to the others. “Everyone run.”

“I am though!” Hilda complained, reaching over to smack him.

“I don’t care if you’re not, just don’t get caught.” Byleth told them, his half lidded eyes staring straight as he took a sip.

“So what made you want to be a teacher?” Dorothea asked, leaning forward in her seat. “Did you ever see yourself teaching students?”

“Nope.” Byleth said. “My dad just seemed to know Rhea very well and one day we happened to meet and next thing you know I’m giving lectures.”

“What were you doing before this?” Sylvian asked.

“And grading horrible written essays, failing tests left and right.” The teacher merely dodged the last question, taking another drink.

“Hey! My tests are great!” Caspar defended.

“Never said you specifically.” The professor reiterated.

“And your essays do suck Caspar.” Ferdinand told him, turning to the group. “One time we had to write an essay on the history of Nohr together and I messaged him like “Caspar can you send me what you’ve done” and what does he send me,” He turned to his friend. “Wanna tell them what you sent?”

Caspar only smirked, looking at the ground. “No.” He shook his head, trying to suppress laughter.

“This guy, when he writes his essays, he’ll write it all in one big block and then go back and space his paragraphs.” Ferdinand explained. “And he sent me just that and was I was like “Caspar I’m not doing this for you, fix this.” He goes out and finds all these custom fonts,” Caspar started to snicker to himself. “He makes a copy of the document and sends me these paragraphs with like hieroglyphics and the text upside down.” 

Caspar fell out of his chair laughing, feeling quite proud of his joke on his friend. Ferdinand hardly shared the feelings on the matter, yet was cracking as well. “I was so fucking angry at him, I almost punched my laptop.”

“Personally my best work.” Caspar admitted as he got back in his chair.

“That explains why I get papers like that from you.” Byleth said. “Then you’ll get mad at me when I tell you to fix them.”

“Does he verbally express his anger?” Claude asked.

“Yes.”

“Oh boy that’s my favorite!” He exclaimed. “Just like when we played Rocket League together.”

“Oh,” Hilda threw her head back for a moment. “I know this one."

“Can I please tell this story, Caspar? It’s my favorite.” Claude asked.

“Sure man.”

“Is this what I hear when Caspar is yelling rude words at people and I can hear Ferdiand yell back to him even though their in separate rooms?” Edelgard asked.

“Probably, yeah.” Caspar laughed, looking at Ferdinand.

“No, Edel.” Hilda stressed. “I hear Claude laughing his ass off from the other side of the dorm and he is just losing it.”

“No, see, I gotta tell it.’ Claude butted in. “Please. Okay so, Caspar invited me to play Rocket League with him and Ferdinand the other day, right. So I joined and we’re not doing good and we’re losing almost every match. Caspar is getting so mad but he rarely yells, or gets physical when he does."

“I refuse to do so.” Caspar stated.

“He just seethes internally. So I am hearing the most mad shit talk ever on the other end of the mic and it’s so fucking funny.” Claude told the group, laughing to himself.

“I felt bad cause I wasn’t in a good mood that day.” Caspar explained.

“No it’s fine. If anything I feel bad for finding so much amusement in you not having a good day.” Claude told him.

Caspar nodded. “It’s all good.”

“So anyways, I’m hearing stuff like, okay so two people will score a goal on us and he’ll be like “_ What, are you playing with your wife's boyfriends son? _ ” and shit like that.” Claude giggled to himself, trying to keep his composure. “And we’re like dude, lighten up we can still win this, and when they score again he puts the microphone right up to his mouth and is like,” Claude cupped his hands over his mouth. “ _ okay guys, you’re telling me Caspar you need to be more positive _”

The group of guys roared with laughter while the rest giggled to themselves. Hilda added her side with “I just remember going into his room wondering what the fuck was going on with him.”

“I had tears going down my face, that was the hardest I’ve laughed in so long.” Claude told them.

Time had passed, and when Dorothea downed the rest of her drink and stood up, the group knew she was up to something. Bending down, she reached for the bluetooth speaker and grabbed her phone. Bernadetta watched her up until she bent over, in which she averted her eyes as her face became red. Looking over, Marriane seemed to notice something, but only flashed a comforting smile.

“I’mma sing for you guys.” Dorothea told, much to the excitement of everyone

“Ah hell yeah. I got the perfect song.” Claude told her.

“Nope, I chose the song.” Dorothea argued. “You don’t go to a concert and tell them what you want to play.”

“This singer sucks, I want my money back.” Caspar joked, causing the brunette to flip him off.

Dorothea swiped through her playlist. “Let me find the song,” She said. Soon, the speaker cut out with the current playing song as another one started. As the instrumentals played, Dorothea started to dance along to it, getting into the rhythm fairly shortly. 

“Boo!” Claude called out to her.

“Get off the stage!” Caspar fake-hollered. 

Dorothea danced over to Caspar, raising a fist at him and making him flinch. “I will kick your ass.” She hissed at Claude.

“I didn’t boo.” Sylvian felt the need to point out.

“Ass kisser.” Edelgard stated bluntly.

The song kept playing, and Dorothea was able to return in sync with the track quickly once more. She twirled in her stance before moving her hips. _ “One night to be confused, one night to speed up truth,” _She sang, getting a few cheers and even an “ow!” from Claude.

Smiling to herself, she continued. _ “We had a promise made, for hands and then away.” _ She quickly grabbed Edelgards drink and sipped it, much to her amusement. _ “Both under influence, we had divine sense” _ She returned the drink quickly. _ “To know what to say, Mind is a razor blade.” _

“Go girl!” Hilda cheered for her.

_ “To call for hands up above” _ The singer raised her arms in the air, swaying her hips. _ “To lean on.” _ She threw her head back as she sang to the heavens. _ Wouldn’t be good enough,” _ And threw her head forward, her hair whipping around. Turning her attention to Marrianne, she pointed her and sang _ “For me, no.” _

She danced on to the song, moving on her feet quickly as she danced in front of Hilda. _ “One night of magic rush.” _ She then turned to Claude. _ “The start of simple touch” _ She sang, as the boy put his hand on his forehead and pretended to faint. _ “One night to push and scream” _ She sang to Sylvian. Ferdiand leaned back in his chair as Dorothea’s routine took her to his seat. _ “And then relief.” _ She sang.

Bernadetta’s eyes widened in excitement. Watching Dorothea dance and sing in person was more breathtaking than she had imagined. The way her body moved and flowed to the song as she sang had her mesmerized. Wiping her palms on her sweater briefly, she looked up to see Dorothea singing to Caspar in the seat next to her, who leaned away with amusement on his face.

_ “Ten days of perfect tunes.” _ She then twirled, and Bernie couldn’t even begin to brace herself for when her crush was in front of her, leaning towards her with a sparkle in her emerald eyes. _ “The colours red and blue.” _She sang, waving her hands past Bernie’s hair and booping her nose. The visibly flustered reaction of a few, with Claude chiming in a quick and sincere “nice.”

Edelgard saw Dorothea’s shadow loom over her, who turned and swayed her rear in front of her. _ “We had a promise made” _ She sang, allowing Edel to playfully smack her behind before turning and pointing her hand to Byleth. _ “We were in love!” _

Some cheers erupted as Dorothea sang the rest of the song. The group was all entranced by her dancing as her voice echoed out into the darkness. It was that moment, her face still flushed from earlier, that Bernadetta knew she was glad she came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, some things I had to cut out. I've always wanted to write a story about people talking around a campfire. Expect another chapter like in the future.
> 
> The weather's been getting nicer, feels like Fall is getting closer which is nice. So while Bernie was in the moment enjoying it, this was the song she listened to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBa3_yNC3Dc
> 
> Dorothea's song, yes I know it's a cover but I thought it suited her better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjrTmJrmMj8


	4. Bernie Frightened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got to love writing in horror movie spoofs. I'm so horny for Autumn and that October mood that I wrote it early.

Bernie Frightened  


The late morning walk to her class was the most cheerful Bernadetta could remember feeling in a long time. With a new school like this, she came to realize the advantages it had by being away from her parents. She can stay out light, hang out with friends, try alcohol for the first time, and so forth. Within all these recent memories being accumulated, she entered her favorite time of year with a burst of optimism.

Earbuds on, she basked in the fact that it was finally October. The leaves had changed colour, the weather was cool enough to wear hoodies all day, and it meant time to discover new indie songs to help commemorate whatever memories she made during this Autumn.

And she wanted to make memories with Dorothea.

For a while, she could feel a bond forming between the two. Something that maybe Bernadetta could advance if she played her cards right. From within her room did she plan to craft the perfect plan. Only when others hosted gathering did she have a chance to shoot her shot, and the perfect opportunity was coming up. During October, GMU would host a student dance. As much as the aspect terrified her, the idea of dancing with Dorothea felt far too great to pass up.

“So many people will try to ask her to dance.” Bernadetta spoke to herself, a little discouraged. “Come on Bernie, we can strike while we have the chance.” She tried to encourage herself. “Is she even into girls?” She questioned. “You can make her into girls!” She declared to herself. ‘No, come on Bernie. You couldn’t make her realize something like that about herself. It would take a girl as wonderful and beautiful as Dorothea to make Dorothea be into girls.”

Suddenly, a gust of leaves stopped where they were. The air seemed to stand still among the campus, despite all the students bustling about on their way to classes and other activities. From within the space she occupied, Bernadetta could feel all warmth seemingly devoured by a dark, cold presence that seemed to chill her to the bone as she shivered lightly.

“Bernadetta.” Hubert’s voice croaked from behind her.

The sound of his voice seemed to be carried through the air, leaving Bernadetta terror stricken as it passed through her. The girl shrieked, turning around. “H-Hubert… h-how much of that did you hear?” She asked, her heart racing in fright. While Edelgard’s mannerisms left the girl scared, she’d face her a hundred times before she ever would have to say a word to Hubert.

“What you were speaking of is of no concern to me.” He told her, his voice hissing with icy venom in it. “What does is the reports of someone wandering the dorm house late at night. They were carrying a sharp object and seemed to hold snacks in their mouth as they traversed the halls.”

She may have studied Edgar Allan Poe in Middle School, but it paled in comparison to the darkness that Hubert radiated for Bernadetta. Her knees trembled under the sight of him, his stern face staring down at her, demanding an answer from the frightened girl. For her, it felt all too familiar.

“W-w-well… that was me.” She admitted, wincing at whatever response, be it verbal or not, he may give. Hubert remained silent instead, and Bernie continued. “You see… I was embroidering. It went later than expected.” She told him.

“Well then, you leave me no choice.” Hubert answered, taking a step forward.

“No! Please don’t hurt me!” Bernadetta begged, turning around running away. 

Her legs carried her as fast as they could. Nearly tripping over students and scaring away any nearby strays, Bernadetta ran for her life. Behind her, Hubert merely trekked on in a brisk, yet menacing pace. He knew he’d catch her eventually, even if it meant waiting through the whole class period.

When Bernadetta reached the classroom, her legs and face burned as she struggled to catch her breath. Whatever comments were made to her about her condition she ignored as she sat in her seat and hid her face in a book. Hopefully they would all excuse the trembling in her seat, not involving themselves for their safety. From behind did Hubert’s hulking figure stomp into the classroom, his dark shadow passing over Bernie as he took a seat next to Edelgard. She took a sigh of relief, safe for now thanks to conventions of education.

Class that day covered a variety of topics, all of which Bernadetta made sure to write down in an effort to attempt to express her last words. Much like the Dolhr Empire, she too was not long for this world. It felt like murder to be sitting in class for so long with your potential killer sitting few feet away.

“I guess we can call it for the day.” Byleth said, taking off his glasses. “Hate wearing these.” He admitted to himself. “Of course, you probably have heard of the Autumn ball coming up.” He announced to the class, much to their excitement. “I’ve been told I need to choose a student to represent the Black Eagles house in a dancing competition.”

Looking over, Bernie could see Dorothea’s eyes light up in excitement. She knew that if the brunette was chosen, that the contest would be a clear win for the house.

“And that student…” The professor told the class. “Will be…” He watched as the students leaned forward in anticipation. “Chosen later.” He stated, causing a few to groan in annoyance.   
  
As they all got up to leave, Bernadetta took a glance at Hubert. She had hoped that maybe he had forgotten about her transgression and would move on from it. Much to her dismay, he saw her whispering something into Edelgard’s ear, who turned back and looked at her. The glare she perceived made her turn around and bolt out of the classroom, much to few concerns. 

Class had eaten away most of her afternoon, so there wasn’t a lot of students around. While the lack of crowds was a plus, the fact that it meant she would be easier to find was what got to her. Her head darted around before she decided the library would be her be the safest bet. Making her way there, Bernadetta was pleasantly surprised to see no Hubert in pursuit of her.

The library was quiet, as students silently discussed plans for school projects, reading silently, or quietly working with their earbuds in. In other words, it was doing its job, which Bernie wanted from it. Trying to make as little noise as possible, Bernie made her way to the very back of the library. As much as she wanted to be alone in the room’s darkest corner, she found Lysithea examining a shelf that had fallen over, blocking the path.

“Oh, hey Lysithea.” Bernie said, snapping the young girl out of her focus. “What happened here?”   
  
“Don’t know.’ She responded. “Apparently it fell over overnight.” Lysithea turned around. “From what I heard, when they checked the cameras, they could see a white figure pass by it moments before it happened.” Her eyes widened at Bernadetta.

“Oh that’s… interesting.” Bernie feigned her interest. Truth is the idea of ghosts or monsters couldn’t scare her, not with the terrors of the real world right outside her door. 

“Welp, this counts as facing my fears.” Lysithea turned to face Bernadetta. “I could have seen a ghost here, and I didn’t. But I came anyways.” She declared herself proudly. All Bernadetta could wonder was how a girl like her graduated high school so early. “You do it now. Go do something you’re afraid of.”

Bernadetta wanted to be insulted, but nearly everyone on campus knew she was a shy shut in. Going outside of her room was scary enough as is. Then again, so was showing your crush your drawing of them, or going to the mall with friends you just met, or going to a get together and trying alcohol for the first time.

“Maybe I will.” Bernadetta told her, but Lysithea had seemed to run off, leaving her be. From within her pocket did her phone vibrate.    
  
_ Caspar: Hey, me and Lind are getting coffee. You’re free to join if you’d like. _

Bernie thought about declining, but she liked coffee. Caspar was someone who understood what kind of social interaction Bernadetta desired while Lindhardt was someone she’d know she wouldn’t have to try too hard to please.

Besides, something good might happen if she went, the girl thought.

Suddenly from behind her, the bookshelf started to move. Bernadetta starred as it was seemingly lifted back into its original position. From behind, Hubert emerged, lifting the obstacle out of the way with one arm as he marched towards Bernie.

“Jesus Christ!” She exclaimed, turning and running the opposite direction. The girl practically bolted out of the library at the sight of the man as he followed her in a brisk pace. Her footing frantic, Bernadetta ran to the coffee shop as fast as she could. Hopefully the coffee could give her a much needed pick me up after the day she had been having.

She made it to the cafe, keeping her head down for any Hubes or Edels on Bernie watch just in case. It wasn’t too crowded, so Bernadetta was able to spot Caspar and Lindhardt relatively easy. The pair didn’t even see her until right when she took her seat.

“Oh hey, didn’t know you were coming.” Caspar told her. It was at that moment that Bernie remembered that she never did text back.

“Yeah sorry, I got your text but I forgot to respond.” Bernie explained, sitting down. She didn’t want to tell them about her current situation, afraid of dragging them into it with her. That didn’t stop Bernadetta from glancing over her shoulder over and over.

“Well Dorothea said she’d make you something if you came.” Lindhardt raised his head to speak to her briefly.

Bernie gasped, looking over. From behind the counter, Dorothea wrote on a cup with a sharpie. Looking up and seeing her friend watching her, the brunette gave a wink to her friend, hinting at something. Back at the table, Bernie’s face burned red as she turned around. Luckily both Lindhardt and Caspar seemed too busy to notice as Dorothea walked over.

“Here you guys go.” She said, handing over two mochas. “And for you Bernie, I promised you I’d get it for you, didn’t I?” Dorothea told her.

At first she was confused, and sipped her drink when she realized what it was. “Y-you remembered?” Bernadetta asked, looking up at her friend. 

“Yep, told you that you’d be the first to know when we got pumpkin spice.” 

“Dorothea…” Bernadetta whimpered to herself, tears nearly forming in her eyes.

“I gotta get back to work,” Dorothea explained. “I’ll talk to you guys in a bit.” She waved to them as she returned to her station.

All Bernadetta could do was watch her go. Holding the drink in both hands, she watched her as her friend did her job. The girl took orders, happily greeted other customers, conversing with them, and giggling at their jokes. Slowly raising the straw to her lips, she took a long sip as she closed her eyes.

“Why don’t you ask if she’s going to the dance with anyone?” Caspar asked her, breaking her free from her trance.

“Gah!?” Bernie yelped. “W-what? What do you mean? I wasn’t thinking of dancing with her.” She told him. “I was just uh… daydreaming about…”

_ “Exactly what he told you.” _

“Hey, it’s all good.” Caspar raised his hands in his defense. ‘I’m just saying, you seem to like her. Maybe you two can go as friends.”

_ “Not friends. More.” _

“It’s just…” Bernadetta looked over to see Lindhardt already asleep. “Can I tell you something?” She asked him.

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded, looking at her. 

“I… honestly wouldn’t mind going to the dance if it meant going with her.” She admitted to him, blushing slightly. “Please don’t tell the others.”

“You got it.” Caspar agreed, looking back at Dorothea who enthusiastically chatted away with another customer. “You should,” He told Bernadetta. “I think you two would have a lot of fun together.” He said, turning to her and smiling.

“Thanks Caspar.” Bernadetta responded, surprised by his words. “I just need your help talking to her,”

“Of course, Bernie. Anything.” He told her.

“Just tell her that today I need to talk to her.” Bernie told her, looking over. “At the dorms, just her and I. No one else, got it?” She lectured.

“I’ll do what I can for you.” Caspar told her, patting her shoulder. “Good luck.”

Bernadetta turned and smiled at him. “Thanks Caspar…” Her voice trailed off. It had been so long since she had gotten this kind of reassurance from what she remembered. She looked over to see Hubert approaching the table.

_ “You need to run, Bernie.” _ She thought. “Gotta go, bye.” Bernadetta told her friends and bolted out of her seat. It didn’t matter what went through her classmates heads, she just needed to get out of there and survive.

The girl would have to feel the wrath of her fellow classmate eventually, and speaking from experience it wouldn’t be pleasant to say the least. Hubert was very dedicated to whatever he puts his mind to. After what she saw that one weekend when he dealt with three of her male classmates, Bernadetta knew her meek and timid form would be no match for him.

‘Just please… let me ask her to dance, it’s all I want.’ Bernadetta pleaded eternally, running through the campus. From behind, the sound of Huberts footsteps trampled over everything else, each one sending a tremor that seemed to get closer and closer no matter how fast she ran. In the distance, she could see the Black Eagles dorms in the distance. ‘Just need to get to my room, and I can stay there forever and be safe.’

Nearly breaking through the front door, Bernadetta didn’t even have time to close it with Hubert hot on her tale. Running to the stairs, she was flanked by Petra carrying a very heavy box. “Apologies, family gift.” She explained, moving at a very slow pace. Looking over to see Hubert walking up the path and to the front door, Bernadetta opted instead to run into the basement.

The basement was fairly empty, only used for storage of certain items, usually brought from off campus. Standing in the dark, Bernadetta trembled with no place to hide. She was scared, scared of leaving her room, scared of her own classmates, and scared of talking to her friend about wanting to do something. This wasn’t something you were supposed to be scared of and she knew that. All she could do at the moment was force back any tears that were starting to form.

“Bernadetta?” Hubert called out, turning on a light to see Bernadetta standing and facing the corner of the basement.

“Please don’t hurt me!” She squealed.

“Turn around,” He ordered. Trembling, the girl turned around, facing him. “You know that I won’t stand for you wondering the halls with sharp objects. “His voice grated into her ears. 

“I know! I’m sorry! Just please make it quick, I promise I won’t take any more of your time.” Bernie begged, hanging her head down.

“Please, be more careful if you are going to work late into the night.” Hubert told her. “Use your phone or a flashlight to alert others of your presence.”

“Huh…?” Bernie lifted her head up, wiping her eyes.

“I would hate for you to hurt yourself or someone else on accident. And if you are having trouble sleeping, feel free to speak to one of us or a counselor.” Hubert said to her.

“That’s all?” Bernadetta asked, her trembling seemingly stopping.

“Yes, unless there’s another matter to discuss.” Hubert stated.

“No-no. Okay.” Bernadetta felt her phone vibrate, grabbing it from her pocket. “I-I will be careful from now on. Sorry again.”

“No worries.” Hubert said, turning to leave.

_ Caspar: She’s outside, better hurry. _

Bernadetta hurried up the stairs behind Hubert. Reaching the doorway, she could see Dorothea, Caspar, and a group of other students talking while Lindhardt made his way inside quickly. The brunette was chatting it up with an Auburn haired boy as the rest of the students took their leave. Soon she’d have her moment.

She would have loved that, she would. But Bernadetta didn’t mean to react the way she did. What she saw was something she had seen a hundred people do with each other a hundred times a day. It was just a little kiss the two shared, the way she leaned into it, the way he closed his eyes to savor the moment, the way they looked at each other. Everything about that moment broke her heart.

Bernie gasped in surprise, like she learned a secret she shouldn’t know. Averting her eyes, she looked over to see Caspar looking to them in surprise before looking back at her with an apologetic look on his face. She couldn’t handle it, the dam broke, and she turned and rushed up the stairs, catching the attention of Hubert as she rushed past Edelgard and into her room. She closed the door and leaned against it, letting the waterworks flow out.

This hurt her, and she felt awful about it. A good friend would congratulate the other on a new relationship, not cry out of jealousy. ‘I’m a horrible person.’ She thought to herself. “I’m so sorry Dorothea…” Bernadetta whispered to herself. She wept into her sleeve, while the muffled conversation played downstairs.

“So who is he?” Edelgard asked, thirsty for details.

“His name is Myrmidon. He’s studying Graphic Design.” Dorothea explained. “He’s kinda reserved but he’s a real sweet guy.”

“Oh how nice. Are you two going to the dance together?” Caspar asked, grabbing his phone.

“Yep, it’ll be our one month anniversary then.” Dorothea responded, excited at the idea.

“I give it 4 months.” Caspar joked.

“Caspar!” Edelgard scolded, the boy smirking in response.

“Okay, you have to pay for our date if we make it that far.” Dorothea told her, shooting him a smug glare.

“You’re on.” Caspar responded, typing on his phone.

_ Caspar: I’m really sorry Bernie _ __   
  


_ Bernadetta: No don’t be _

_ B: I’m a horrible friend _ __   
__   
_ Caspar: No you’re not _ __   
__   
_ Bernadetta: She’s so happy _ __   
_ B: And I’m crying bcuz I’m sad about it _ __   
__   
_ Caspar: What you’re feeling is completely fine. _ __   
_ C: I know this is causing a lot of emotions  _ _   
_ __ C: But just know it’s okay to feel this way

“By the way, didn’t Bernie say she wanted to talk to me?” Dorothea asked, making Caspar wince.

“Yeah uh…” He looked at his phone. “She has it handled. It’s fine.” Caspar explained. Dorothea was understanding, hopping on the couch and turning on Netflix as Edelgard joined her, the two none the wiser. Returning to his messages, Caspar typed some more.

_ Caspar: Need anything? I might run to the store. _

There was a brief silence, and Caspar thought about going up to knock on her door. Deciding against it, he put on his jacket and walked outside when he got a notification.

_ Bernadetta: Kit kats, and a Dr. Pepper pls _

_ Caspar: Sure thing _

Caspar wasn’t expecting a response, but looked back. While he was happy for Dorothea, he felt pain for Bernadetta. He could tell the girl was absolutely infatuated with her. At the very least, she deserves to hear something she wanted to hear today.

_ C: You’ll get through this, I promise _

Within her dark room, Bernie’s phone lit up. Pausing the music for a moment, her eyes burned at the screen as she read the message. Sniffling to herself, she at least had a reason to smile later. For now, she’d sulk to music, finding solace in her environment after a hard day.

The feeling wasn’t all too new to her anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L
> 
> Her walk in the campus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPETTkZPY54
> 
> In her room at the end: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9LXzieMUuM


	5. Bernie Dreams of Dorothea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got suggestive. It's nice.

“Oh… maybe you could close a window?” Dorothea asked.

“Are you cold?” She said. “Sorry about that.”   
  
“No no, it’s fine. You want to work in your best environment.” Dorothea giggled, raising her arms slightly. “Is it this pose, Bernie?”

“No no, here.” Bernadetta got from her seat and walked over. “Like this,” She told her, leaning close to her and gently sliding her hands up Dorothea’s arms. “All up above your head.”

“Oh my, all exposed.” Dorothea flirted. “I bet you just wanted to see a pretty girl naked, Bernadetta.”   
  
“Well,” Bernie grinned at her. “I just wanted you to know your beauty inspired me.”   
  
“Goodness,” The brunette broke pose for a moment, holding her hand over her mouth. “Such a charmer aren’t you _ Bernadetta _ .” She spoke the last part a little more firmly.

“It’s because of you I’m brave enough to try nude drawings.”   
  
“Bernadetta!” She scolded, the feeling of being spoken that way shocked Bernie with a returning feeling that made her head fly up off the table.

“We’ve been over this Bernadetta.” Edelgard lectured, sighing to herself. “You need to get your sleep schedule under control.” She spoke sternly to her.

Her head turned from side to side before it registered where Bernadetta was. She had fallen asleep at the kitchen table late at night, after another attempt to avoid dreaming. Ever since she saw Dorothea with her boyfriend, the girl had repressed even the thought of spending personal time with her. It wasn’t a good feeling, or healthy, but any concept of getting closer to her crush only brought the thoughts of the idea that she’d be robbing her free time from someone she actually wanted to spend it with.

“Are you even listening to me?” Edelgard asked.

“I am!” Bernadetta insisted, shaking the thoughts from her head. Despite her best efforts, her mind seemed to enjoy replaying the events of her dream. Just the thought of being that intimate made Bernadetta’s cheeks burn red.

“Bernadetta.” Edelgard sighed in frustration. Looking back, the girl trembled in guilt and fright under her stare. Reaching forward, the girl flinched fearfully as Edelgard gently brushed some of her hair from her forehead while the back of her other hand gently pressed against it.

“Huh…” Bernadetta moaned out, her face still burning. Edelgard had a very chilled, but soothing touch that surprised her. Her violet eyes examining the girls well being as her hands felt on her cheeks and neck also.

“I understand the stress of coming here has been a great deal for you. So believe me when I say I will do what I can to shoulder that burden.” The house leader explained. “But you need to want to help yourself.” She told her, looking at her. “You can take today off if you need, but this behavior needs to change, promise.”

“Y-y-yes…” Bernadetta told her, entranced by her comforting touch and voice. “I-I’ll will-I will.” She assured her friend, who pulled her hands away.   
  
“Just try and get some sleep Bernie.” Edelgard told her, patting her head before leaving.    
  
Bernie had no clue what Edelgard was doing up this early, but was glad to have talked to her nonetheless. Getting up from the chair, she dumped the mug of cold tea she had made herself before passing out. This college life was weighing heavily on her mind and it showed. Her sleep was lacking, her attendance to class was starting to falter, and others were starting to worry.   
  
The dorms had a back patio where students were encouraged to take care of plants. It wasn’t a greenhouse, but it provided with a calming space for Bernadetta, which gave her somewhere other than her room to think. From behind the screen, did begin to peek over the horizon. The sky was painted a perfect mix of orange and blue, perfect for a photo. She checked the pocket in her hoodie and found her phone nearly dead.

Taking the picture, she thought it best to post it right away. Slap a few color filters and edit the brightness and come up with some vague, edgy aesthetic caption and call it art. One that wouldn’t make her friends worry yet still express the same amount of pain everyone on this planet can relate to.

“How very ‘number sign relatable’ of you, Bernie.” She joked to herself, typing on her phone. “There,” She said.

_ @BernieTryingArt “Oh my love, can’t you see yourself by my side” _ __   
__   
“Perfect,” She thought aloud. “You can show everyone that Bernie has love to give.”   
  
__ She won’t take it.

Shaking away the thought, Bernadetta decided to go back to her room. It’d be best if her classmates didn’t see her like this, even if it meant sacrificing the possibility of talking to Dorothea. Just a word, a confirmation that things were okay between them. Instead all Bernie did was shut the door and fall onto her bed.

She’s been keeping it to herself, the raging jealousy inside her. They’re often seen on campus together, holding hands. The songstress would be out on dates, coming back to the dorms later than usual.. All the while she was oblivious at how much the emotional conflict was tearing apart. Caspar was getting worried, he saw how heartbroken she was when Bernadetta watched the two share a kiss. It was becoming obvious he was starting to speak up about, she wasn’t taking any action to get better so he’d find someone who’d make her.

“Thanks for that.” Bernie thought spoke out loud. She was grateful for his support, but she knew it would turn into something against her if he knew just how unhealthy her thought process was.

_ “Maybe they’ll break up.” _ __   
_ “You can swoop in and cheer her up.” _ __   
_ “She’ll fall in love with you for that.” _ __   
__   
She grabbed her head and pulled her hair. No one should be thinking about things like this, she thought. In order to get what she wanted, someone would have to get hurt. Bernie hadn’t even met Myrmidon, nor know what Dorothea saw in him.

_ “He could be a huge jerk to her.” _

_ “She would never date someone like that.” _

_ “Well she’d rather date an asshole like him than ever give you the time of day.” _

Bernadetta slammed her hands over her ears. Every thought in her head tormented her with toxic thoughts of love. She never experienced it and probably never will. It was awful of her to think of Dorothea as someone shallow enough to date someone even she didn’t like. Tears streamed down her face as she stared up at the barely lit ceiling.

_ “That’s what you get for having feelings Bernie.” _ __   
_ “They were right, what made you think you were a suitable candidate for anyone.” _ _   
_ __ “This is your fault goddamnit.”

Sobbing to herself, Bernadetta turned over, pulling the blanket over herself and closing her eyes. At the very least, sleeping would make these horrible thoughts stop for just a moment.

Just a moment was all she wanted.

* * *

  
  


Dorothea stormed out of the class in a huff, an apologetic Edelgard trying to call out to her. Byleth had announced that it was Edelgard that’d represent the class in the Autumn ball dance much to the shock of everyone, including his pick. This only caused Dorothea to get very upset, having spent days excited over what was a sure thing to her. Taking all the willpower in the world to not call her professor an idiot or something worse.

“Please Dorothea, wait.” Edel pleaded, catching up to her classmate. “Look, I had nothing to do with his choice.” He told her.

She clenched her fists, gritting her teeth. Dorothea wanted to be mad at Edelgard, but she knew being angry isn't going to solve anything. Byleth had made up his mind and chosen her over a singer and dancer in training. “I know… Edie. Trust me I know.”   
  
“I understand your frustration.” Her friend told her. “I’ve been questioning him about all day now.” She tried to explain. “He said I had a “certain charm that could bring us the win.” Believe me when I say I couldn’t get him to explain any further.” Edelgard said. 

Dorothea only sighed, looking back at Edelgard. The house leader wouldn’t lie, the look the brunette gave her hurt her inside a little. “I’m probably gonna be upset today, but you’re still my friend and I love you.”

Edelgard opened her arms for a hug, but was intercepted by Dorothea’s hand. “But, you’ll get a hug when I’m ready.” She teased, sticking her tongue out at her. Edelgard only smiled back at her before giving her a playful shove.

“Ladies!” Claude announced his presence, Dimitri following behind him. “I just got word of everyone's house contestants.” He turned to Dorothea. “Better luck next year.” He joked, causing Dorothea to flip him off.

“Come on now Claude.” Dimitri chided, amused at his antics. “We should wish Edelgard luck on her endeavor here.” He smiled to the group. “She might need it, as Mercedes was chosen for our house.” He announced.

“Well,” Claude began to speak. “You all need as much luck as you can get because my Igantz was chosen to represent the Golden Deer house and if that does not make you fear the deer then I don’t know what will.” He told them, raising his hands by his face to strike the familiar pose.

“Well, I do wish you all the best of luck.” Edelgard responded. “But don’t think I won’t be trying my best in this as well.”

“No see I know that.” Claude lectured. “But with Dorothea here not dancing our chances of winning have skyrocketed.”

“Oh, are you saying me representing Black Eagles was a sure win for them?” Dorothea asked, flattered.

“Yep, and now you're not dancing for your house.” Claude emphasised as he grabbed his phone to check a text.. “And now you will win no Autumn Ball.” He told them, making an L on his forehead at them as he stepped away, the other giggling at his feigned seriousness. 

“Well Claude is being… Claude.” Edelgard dismissed. “I gotta text Bernadetta to see how she’s doing.”

“Oh yeah,” Dorothea asked. “Is she feeling alright?” 

Edelgard smiled, noticing the concern in her voice. "She's fine, I think the stress of college life just got to her." She told her, sending a text.

_ Edelgard: Hello, how are you feeling? _

Her phone vibrated, but all Bernadetta did was turn over on her bed, her face flushed red as she gripped her sheets tight.

"Ugh!" Dorothea cried out in dismay. "Someone help!" Her voice called out. "These vines are gripping me so tight." She moaned out, struggling within the plants grasp

From afar, a horse galloped as a noble hero drew her bow, firing an arrow that struck the appendage and freed the canal it took a hold of. She fell from the air and into the arms of her savior.

"My hero!" The brunette gasped. "Thank you so much."

The hero in question arrived at a secluded hut in the forest, ditching the horse as Dorothea followed her inside. She reached over, removing her saviors hood to reveal a girl with lavender hair, which she ran her fingers through affectionately.

"Goodness, I didn't think that my hero would be handsome young girl like you." Dorothea cooed, leaning forward. "I think a brave strong hero like you deserves a reward."   
  
“Ah! Wait, Dorothea!” Bernadetta cried out, opening her eyes. She found herself tangled up in her sheets. The late afternoon sun shone through her window as a gentle breeze blew into her room as she got up, stretching. She grunted as a few of her joints popped before she scratched her lower back. Her sleepy eye glare stared aimlessly for a moment as her brain went over it’s recent events.

“Okay, cried, slept, probably cried some more. Typical day indoors Bernie.” She thought out loud. “Dreamt of-”  
  
Her eyes shot open as a hand clamped over her mouth as the memories came flooding back. Dorothea struggling in vines, making cute noises, wrapping her arms around her, “rewarding her hero.” Bernadetta’s face burned hot as she fanned her face, hoping to prevent a nosebleed. She looked like a princess in her dream, and the way her voice sounded as she called her a “hero” and “brave.”

She groaned in dismay. It was gonna get distracting if these keep up but the girl couldn’t have any idea on how to stop them. The one idea would be to go through Dorothea’s instagram, find her summer beach trip photos and lock the door. Bernie shook her head at the idea though, she wouldn’t be known as the purple haired pervert on campus.

“Come, think Bernie think.” She spoke to herself, slapping her head with her fists gently. “Why are Dreams the way they are?” Her psychology knowledge was limited, and Bernadetta couldn’t be bothered by using the internet. A quick google search wasn’t gonna solve complex feelings like this. One thing was for certain, she needed a shower.

Grabbing her speaker and her phone alongside a change of clothes, Bernadetta poked her head out the hallway to see that no one else was around. “Weird, I thought class was out already.” She said, checking the time on her phone. “Where is everyone?” The girl wondered. Sneaking through the hall, she made it to the bathroom. Turning the water on, Bernadetta turned her speaker on as she selected a song. It was a rule in the house to be as quick in the bathroom as you could, and she feared the repercussions of what would happen if she took too long.

Stepping in as the song played, Bernadetta sighed as the warm water cascaded down her body. The sound of the faucet putting out any thoughts she would have had as she basked in it. For just a moment, the girl relaxed today. Even if the rest of the day was terrible, she’d at least have this moment to herself.

Getting out as quickly as she got in, Bernadetta dried off, using a hair dryer left by one of the girls, it being an unspoken rule that the girls were free to share things like this. Oddly enough, a change of clothes didn’t seem to be one, as she had heard stories of others trying to sneak back to their dorm with only a towel.

Next was food. The girl hadn’t eaten all day, which she mentally chided herself for. “Bad Bernie, bad.” She lectured to herself jokingly. Grinning alone, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen, hoping to find a snack. Instead finding Lindhardt, who seemed to not even react when the girl yelped in surprise of him being there.

“Gah! Lindhardt, what are you doing here?” The girl asked.

“Well, I live here.” He told her, seemingly indifferent to her question.    
  
“Where is everyone else?”    
  
“Paintball.” He casually answered.

“What!?”

“Yeah.” Lindhard responded.

* * *

  
  


While GMU had a fair share of Academics, the nearby Paintball arena provided a proving ground over true campus superiority. The wooded area having an ideal battlefield for the houses to stage strategic warfare. It was common for students to come after class for a round or two against each other.

Currently, the Black Eagle house laid at the bottom of a hill, taking cover in a trench as several paintballs hit the dirt near them. From above, the Golden Deer controlled a compound while the Blue Lions assaulted them from the side.

“This sucks, we’re short a person.” Caspar complained as he peeked over, narrowly avoiding a paintball. “Where did Edelgard even go?” He asked, looking around.

Dorothea looked around. “The odds are against us here.” She said. “All Fathers, bless us with a chance for victory.”

“Over here!” Edelgard called out, as someone else double timed it from behind her. Leaping over the trench, the mystery player fired back at the opposing students with near pinpoint accuracy, tagging one and forcing the others to retreat.

“Wait, who’s that” Dorothea asked.

Turning around, Byleth lifted his mask to address his students. “We’re getting off this hill!” He called out to his students, an almost too serious demeanor. “Come with me!” He ordered his students, leading a charge up the hill alongside his students.

“Holy shit it’s the Professor.” Caspar cheered out in excitement as he stormed the hill.

* * *

  
  


“It’s quite a common pass time between students.” Lindhardt explained. “Rumor has it the arena has something to do with the schools history of having some of the most brilliant minds in the army graduate from here.” 

Bernadetta nodded, somewhat interested in his story. She wouldn’t have taken Dorothea to be into something competitive. “She’s so cool being able to handle paintballing.” She said to herself.

“Oh yes,” Lindhardt agreed, ignoring Bernadetta’s shocked shriek at being heard. “Dorothea is quite the paintball player. Once took out a Golden Deer and two Blue Lions in one round.” He recalled. “I should play with them again sometime. If you’re interested you are more than free to join.”    
  
She didn’t think too hard on it, the last thing Bernadetta could do was consider playing paintball. There was something else she had to figure out first.

“Hey Lindhardt…” Bernie hesitated, wondering if he was the right person to be discussing this with. “I gotta question, what do you know about dreams?” She asked.

Lindhardt looked up and at the ceiling briefly, as if to contemplate what he was just asked. “I do have some knowledge on the topic.” He started. “I studied it briefly. Wasn’t a topic I spent too much time on before moving forward.”   
  
“Yeah well… what does it mean when you dream something you know you shouldn’t be dreaming?” She asked, looking down at her feet.

“I would need a little more context, if you’re dreaming of hurting yourself or someone seek help-”

“No no no!” Bernie insisted, waving her hands. “It’s like this. Uhm…” She pondered her next choice of words carefully. “I have a friend,” She winced, knowing he wouldn’t buy it. Still, Lindhardt didn’t seem to react to her lie, and she wasn’t sure if he cared or not. “And sh-they. They keep dreaming of a gi- someone they know who’s seeing someone and they don’t know what to do.”

“Ah yes,” Lindhardt inhaled sharply. “This…” He exhaled, yawning. “This is common. Dreams come as wish fulfillment for some.” He explained. “Your friend might feel they’re losing someone close to them and their dream comes as a way of them spending time together. Do you know what it is they do in the dream?”

“She never said!” Bernadetta insisted, her face started to heat up. “But what they wanted to know was, is it okay to dream about these things?” She looked at him with sincerity. “She cares about her friend, and wants her to be happy, but she’s afraid her emotions will get in the way.” The girl admitted.

“Well…” Lindhardt stood up and looked into her eyes. “Your friend doesn’t need to tell the other about their dreams, but if they’re not hurting her, I wouldn’t see the problem. With dreams like this, it’s a perfectly normal reaction I’d expect from a perfectly emotional person.”

A huge weight was lifted off the girls shoulders. Bernadetta smiled to herself as she looked back at her classmate, who made himself a cup of tea. “Thanks Lindhardt, even though that last part kinda hurts.” She giggled.

“Why, am I not wrong?” He asked, his tone indifferent. This only confused Bernie instead.

From behind the door open as the Black Eagles entered the house. Edelgard and Dorothea walked in together, their hair messy and faces dirty. “Thanks for tagging Felix before he could get me Edie.” She leaned over and gave her friend a hug, which she happily accepted. “Save me a dance at the ball?”

“Of course Dorothea,” Edelgard told her, smiling at her. As they pulled away, Dorothea turned her attention to Bernadetta, who watched the two from afar.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” She asked, and Bernadetta was moved by the concern in the girls voice.

“Oh I’m fine… just needed to sleep finally today.” Bernie admitted, excited to be talking to her again finally.

“Oh I’m glad. Do you need anything?” Dorothea asked her.

“N-no… but thank you.” Bernadetta said. 

“Okay, wanna watch something on Netflix? I gotta take a shower but we can hang out tonight?”

“Yeah!” She exclaimed.

As Dorothea departed, Bernadetta turned to Caspar excitedly. “Did you see that? She asked me to watch Netflix with her.” She looked at him. “Whoa… what’s up with you?” She asked.

Caspar stared over a thousand yards, his eyes piercing the walls of the house. “I don’t think our professor is who he says he is.” He told her.

“What?” Bernadetta asked, confused by his statement.

“He was an Apex Predator out there.” He told her.

“What do you mean?”

* * *

  
  


Byleth made it to the building while his team stacked up on the door. Opening it, he quickly leaned in and narrowly dodged a paintball before shooting back and tagging an opponent. Moving in, he got into cover and quickly leaned out to tag one student before running and sliding down the corridor, tagging another. He got up and ran towards another student and tagging them before quickly turning around and firing two paintballs at another. At the sound of footsteps behind him, Byleth dove into a combat roll just as someone fired at him before he quickly returned fire.

It was safe to assume he had done something like this before.

* * *

  
  


Dorothea could really ponder over what kind of profession her professor use to have. Whatever it was, he wasn’t teaching it here. Chances are if she pried then it wouldn’t go well for her. It’s not where she wanted her mind to be anyways. 

“By the way, you should see if Dorothea would want to dance with you.” Caspar brought up. “It would… I dunno, be nice for you I guess.” He told her awkwardly.

Her heart raced at the thought. Sharing a dance with the one Dorothea. Bernadetta turned to him. “You really think she would?”

“Yeah, she said she’d dance with Edelgard.” Caspar walked over to the fridge and grabbed a soda. “It wouldn’t hurt. I can go with you to the dance if you’d like.”

“Gah!” Bernadetta yelped. “I-I don’t feel the same way about you Caspar.”

“Huh, what?” He asked, clearly confused. “Oh wait, no. No that’s not what I meant.” He shook his head. “I’m already dragging Lindhardt along so you can come with us. Seems the role of getting people out of their dorms has fallen to me.” He joked. 

“W-well… let me ask her and then I’ll think about it.” Bernadetta told him. “I’m gonna go ask her right now.” She said. “Right now, Bernie’s gonna strike while the irons hot.” She proclaimed, much to Caspar’s amusement.

“Best of luck, Bernie.” He told her, raising his drink in solidarity.

Bernadetta made her way up the stairs. She may not have the romantic night she dreamed of, but that didn’t mean she could have something special. This girl was gonna get to dance with her crush and nothing was going to stop her.

Suddenly the bathroom door swung open, and out a nude Dorothea with nothing but a towel wrapped against her upper body that seemed to come undone as she turned towards Bernadetta. “Oh!” She squealed in surprise as her towel swayed to the side, revealing her whole waist and almost more to Bernadetta. “S-sorry Bernie.” She laughed at the situation.

Bernadetta shrieked as she covered her eyes. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!” She turned around and ran.

The door closed behind her as she leaned against it. Her heart rate had spiked at the sight of what she saw. She had to stifle a moan as her cheeks blushed a deep red. Despite the embarrassment, seeing her classmate like that was kind of exhilarating to say the least. So Dorothea couldn’t help it when she bit her bottom lip a little.

“Edelgard.” Bernadetta walked up to her in the kitchen, holding a hand on her nose as blood poured out. “I did something bad.”

“Oh my goodness!” She cried out, quickly reaching over and grabbing a paper towel. “Here, lean your head back.” Edelgard instructed. “What happened?”

“Well you see, the thing is.’ Bernadetta started to explain. “I… I just saw Dorothea with nothing but a towel!” She admitted, covering her face with her hands.

Edelgard waited, and when she realized Bernadetta wasn’t going to say any more, began to giggle. “That’s all?” She laughed. “Did you atleast see something worthwhile?”

“EDELGARD!?” Bernadetta screamed in shock.

“What, she’s a nice girl.” Edelgard teased. “Look, it’s completely fine. I can guarantee she isn’t mad at you. She’s walked in on my naked a few times.”

Bernadetta got up and left before her nose bleed could get any worse. She sent Dorothea a text apologizing profusely to her, which she forgave her for. They had to cancel their Netflix date though, as Bernie decided it was best she spend the rest of the day in her room. As for that dance, she’d have to try another time.

* * *

  
  


“My goodness, you poor thing.” Two maids surrounded Bernie’s bed. One with white hair, and the other a brunette. “You have been through so much here.” Edelgard told her, feeling the girls forehead. 

“Yes, it’s quite severe.” Dorothea said. “It seems you’ll need immediate treatment. “

Before she knew it, the two maids joined her in bed. Both snuggled her closely, patting her head and brushing her hair behind her ears. 

“There you are, you’ll be safe with us.” Edelgard whispered into her ear.

“Yes, when you’re in our arms,” Dorothea’s voice soothed her. “You don’t have to worry.”

Bernadetta decided she was going to enjoy this dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, Byleth was supposed to go full sicko mode and jump on others during the paintball match but I decided to tone him down a bit.
> 
> Also Dorothea praying to the All Fathers is a reference to her VA's role in Apex Legends. Buy Titanfall 2.
> 
> Bernie's shower song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpqbk20cxWs


	6. Dancin's What Clears Bernie's Soul

The day before Halloween was the last day to take in all of October’s wondrous scenery without the presence of spooky costumes and frequent parties. From what Bernadetta could understand, there was a tradition that the houses partook in every year that she had not learned any information on. The only she asked was her professor, and he didn’t know anything either. She decided to cross that bridge later and focus on today.

For the first time in a while, despite the circumstances, she had a more optimistic mindset on this day. All the sounds of her shoes made as she walked across the dry leaves as her earbuds played music filled her with a comforting sense of nostalgia. Gone are the days of hiding in her room for just a brief time of actually enjoying the outdoors. Artistically, Bernie could find inspiration from any aspect of the season.

For some reason, she knew there was something special about today.

It was the Autumn Ball, GMU’s annual semi-formal dance for students and staff. While the idea didn’t particularly interest her, it seemed the excitement her peers shared amongst them had rubbed off onto Bernie. Even her, who felt that she’d avoid the idea of going like the plague, had a small amount of enthusiasm about tonight.

The idea of dancing with Dorothea, despite her having a boyfriend, was still a possibility she was told. She pursed her lips at the idea, something that felt too exhilarating to be real. Yet some of her classmates seem to persist to the thought, Caspar still pushing for her to ask and Petra seemingly bringing up the idea that the two  _ will dance  _ together.

Reaching the dorms, she pushed into see Caspar sitting on the couch watching tv while Lindhadt slept soundly next to him. “Yo yo,” He greeted her casually. From upstairs could the sound of hairdryers be heard. “Still know if you’re going?”

“I uh…” Bernie stammered for a moment. It was still up in the air if she’d actually attend or not. She felt it was probably annoying to her classmates that she hadn’t jumped to a definitive conclusion already. “I’m not sure yet,” She admitted, looking to the floor to avoid any judgement from her friend.

“Alright, that’s cool.” Caspar casually responded. “We won’t be leaving too early, around seven maybe.” He glanced towards Lindhardt, who’s breathing was near silent. “Take your time with this one.”    
  
Bernadetta figured Lindhardt’s nap bought her maybe two extra hours to decide. From the sounds of it, Edelgard and Dorothea’s preparations for the night were already underway. Peeking through an open door, she caught sight of Petra preparing her makeup in a mirror, who gave her a kind smile. Turning away, Bernie saw Dorothea with a towel wrapped around her torso as she curled her hair. Wishing to prevent a repeat of an earlier incident, Bernadetta hurrie to her room, intercepted by Edelgard, who only had on a pair of leggings as her arms were covering her bare chest.

“Dorothea do you- Oh, sorry Bernie.” She apologized as the girl shrieked and ran to her room, much to the brunette’s amusement. “What pair of leggings would go better with the dress?”

The door closed behind her, Bernadetta began to catch her breath. From outside did Dorothea giggle, amused by Bernie’s reaction. “I mean come on, do you need leggings for this dress?” She asked.    
  
“My legs get cold, and chances are I might end up flashing someone.” Edelgards muffled voice could be heard from behind the door, and Bernadetta’s face began to heat up at the image that was in her mind. Acting quickly, she thought it’d be best to drown out the conversation before it got too lewd. Despite a texted apology between the two, Bernadetta never did quite get over the towel incident. 

Turning her speaker on, Bernie quickly selected a song from her playlist and laid on the bed. The sound was enough to distract her from whatever was happening outside. As the music played, she bobbed her head from side to side. In keeping with the theme of creating things that she didn’t want Dorothea to see, Bernie decided of creating a playlist of songs that made her think of her crush rather than just confessing to her. A normal person thing to do? She wasn’t sure, but the song got her singing.

_“Remember_,_” _She sang out loud. _When we were kids and always knew when to quit it.” _The girl threw her feet off the bed. _“Are we denying a crisis or are we scared of admitting it.” _Rising onto her feet, Bernie moved her shoulders around as she danced to herself. _“I don’t want to know.”_

Moving on her feet, Bernie danced alone in her room as she sang out loud, knowing her voice couldn’t be heard by anyone outside unless they pressed their ear to her door.  _ “I just want to run to you and break off the chains.”  _ She waved her arms around.  _ “And throw them away. I just want to be so much.”  _ The girls overdramatic dancing and singing was akin to staring in a music video, but she didn’t care as she reached her hands out and imagined another pairs grasped them tightly.  _ “And shake of the dust that’s turning to rust!”  _ She sang out, imagining herself and Dorothea falling through the air, holding on tight to each other.

_ “Sooner than later! I need a savior!”  _ Her voice sang, it wouldn’t ever be on Dorothea’s level but she wasn’t here right now. A fact that maybe Bernie could come to terms with. For now, she’d dance and sing alone in her room until she figured out what was next.

_ “I need a savior.” _ Dorothea quietly sang to herself. From outside, she hummed to herself as she walked to her room. She wouldn't have thought Bernie was a decent singer, so maybe teaching her would be a great reason to spend time with her.

She also really liked that song.

As the song ended and the next one played, Bernadetta stopped to catch her breath. She looked around as if to check if someone may have been in the room with her, and only caught sight of herself in her mirror, smiling, face red, but energetic and happy. The girl wasn’t sure she had met this side of her before, but from the looks of it, she liked them. That only raised the question if whether this version of her was good enough for the others.

Only one way to find out.

* * *

  
  


“My boy be looking sharp!” Caspar declared as Lindhardt descended down the stairs, dressed in a fancy suit.

“Yes yes, I am happy my fashion choices suit your aesthetic.” Lindhardt brushed the complement off. 

“That’s because the aesthetic is looking fly aye eff and we nailed it!” Caspar cheered, raising his hand which prompted his friend to weakly return a high five.

“Gotta admit fellas,” Ferdinand spoke up. “I think we really do dress the part.”

“Yep,” Caspar agreed. “A group of bachelors at the dance. Time to roll!” Caspar announced as he waved to the door. “The party awaits.”

Suddenly his phone buzzed, which he checked. He assumed it was a text wondering where he was, but was surprised to see who it was from.

_ Bernadetta: “i GOT reADy DOn’t leave yet!” _

“Hold up fellas, one more bachelor joining us.” He told them, before wincing to himself. Probably best he not call Bernie something like that.

Upstairs, Bernadetta examined herself in the mirror. A deep violet swing dress that she gave a quick twirl in. She owned no fancy pair of shoes so wore just a pair of canvas high tops. The dance was semi-formal from what she was told. Or was it formal and she was very underdressed? There was a quick look of uncertainty that she quickly snuffed out. She wouldn’t be bothered by those things tonight.

Making her way downstairs, Bernadetta was surprised by the group of guys waiting for her. Caspar greeted her quickly. “Hot damn, looking good Bern.” He complimented. She smiled, blushing a little. 

“Thanks. I had it already when I came here so.” She grabbed the skirt of her dress.

“Come on, don’t want to keep them waiting.” Ferdinand called out.

“Keep who waiting?” Lindhardt asked, confused. The others brushed the comment off.

“Alright everyone, gather around. Ferdinand announced, pulling up the camera on his phone.

“Wanna take a selfie with us?” Caspar asked. The girl nodded.

Bernadetta found herself pressed between Lindhardt and Caspar, their arms around each others shoulders as they formed a chain. Though she didn’t mind the contact, she held her arms by her sides while raising her hand and giving a peace sign. She hadn’t smiled much in pictures, so she felt she may have looked strange in the photo.

“Nice one guys!” Ferdinand complimented, reviewing the picture. “Let’s roll!” He declared.

She was silent for the whole walk there, but she listened to her friends as they talked amongst each other. It felt nice to witness honest, sincere interactions among her peers. Even if she has no fun tonight, at least she can say she saw someone else she cared about enjoying themselves with no confliction. 

Arriving at the ballroom, Bernie’s heart pounded in her chest as she made it inside. The main lobby area was filled with a few students, one of which was Petra who walked over to them. Bernadetta looked around, unable to spot Dorothea. She had last seen her post on social media being here with Myrmidon about an hour ago. There was a squeeze in her chest at the thought of missing her for the night, as if she and her boyfriend had run off into the night together and leaving her behind. As others were walking around and her group was chatting, she examined who was in the room with them. Rapheal laughed with Lorenz by the snack, while her Professor was talking to some girl.

“Look sharp there Byleth.” She complimented, which he seemed unphased by. Though there was no mistaking the appreciation in his eye.

“Others are dance floor- No… On dance floor.” Petra told the group. “I was needed space.” She said. “Glad you got here.” 

“Yeah, we would have left sooner if Lindhardt here had actually woken up earlier.” Caspar teased, playfully jabbing his friend.

Seemingly unphased, Lindhardt merely said. “Well, I’ll be around.” He said before walking off.

“You’ll text me later right?” Caspar called out, getting no response. “Yeah he will.” He told them before turning to Bernie. “Wanna head out to the dance floor?”

Within the actual ball room, the dimly lit room only had neon lighting as electronic music drowned out the crowd. She had only seen videos of them online, so Bernadetta wasn’t entirely sure what to expect when she stepped inside. Her eyes scanned around, and she could notice the likes of those such as Sylvian and Felix dancing together, while Lorenz and Claude hung out on the sidelines. Hilda and Marianne danced together and her eyes followed them until a sparkle of emerald green caught her eyes and her heart raced.

Everything seemed to slow the moment the brunette’s eyes met hers. She gave her a seductive smile as she began walking over, her hips swaying with every step. The shine of her ruby red lipstick nearly blinding Bernadetta as the song seemed to be the only noise she could here.

_ “Most beautiful in your fragile form.”  _ The lyrics played as Dorothea approached her, her hair bobbing, the sparkling wrap dress contouring itself to her perfect body. Bernadetta couldn’t move, the seductive siren having her under a spell that she didn’t mind the slightest.  _ “You’re what I need, my perfect speed.” _

_ “Can you break me?”  _ Dorothea sang, her hands sliding up Bernadetta’s neck and lifting her chin up.  _ “Feel me under your skin?”  _ She looked into her eyes, her lips moving that had the girl in a trance.

_ “Can you take me?”  _ Bernadetta sang back, her hands reaching up to feel Dorothea’s.  _ “Can you take me,”  _ She looked back at the girls, her eyes looking back.  _ “Just as I am” _

“Bernie!? Caspar called out, shaking the girl out of her trance.

Bernadetta shook her head, grasping the back of her neck before looking over at Dorothea, who hadn’t noticed her yet, laughing along with some friends, Myrmidon’s arm around her waist.

“I… I gotta.” All the girl could do was turn around and leave. Caspar tried to call her back, but sighed in defeat. Only so much he could for her at the moment. The rest was on her.

Back in the lobby, Bernadetta listed off her recent behavior as a “tactical retreat” after witnessing how great Dorothea looked tonight. An alluring siren as always in her mind, her song leading her to her doom, she thought. It was quite clear she would see her and her boyfriend get affectionate tonight, something that caused a great deal of stress. She knew it was something she’d have to get over, but the girl wasn’t sure if she was ready for it. 

“Everything all right Bernie?” Sylvian asked, walking over to her.

“Yeah it’s just uhm…” She searched for a plausible excuse off the top of her head. “Never been to a dance before, a lot to take in.” She told him.

“I understand, it can be quite distracting.” He told her. “I can always walk you back to your dorm, or stay with you for the rest of the night.”

She glared at him, though it was at the thought that she was going to throw in the towel yet. ‘Bernie’s not a quitter.’ She told herself, even if it might not have been entirely true.

“Or…” Sylvian raised his hands in defense. “I could find someone else that you prefer… if you need me to.” 

Sighing, the girls head hung for a second before she lifted. “No, it’s fine Sylvian.” Maybe it was her lack of experience with people, or she was pleading ignorance, but the girl couldn’t find any harm play in Sylvians actions even if she knew the intention. “Thanks anyways.”

“Yeah uhm uh…” He looked around. “You need anything though, you can count on me.” He told her.

Before the girl could even think of a response, he walked off. Very odd, she thought. It was almost as if he was someone he didn’t want to be seen as for a moment. As she watched him walk away, she could catch sight of Ferdinand, showing someone a picture on his phone.

“Wait, Bernie’s here!?” Dorothea asked, looking up from the phone. It was then that she realized who Ferdinand was talking to. He scanned the crowd and quickly found the girl, not hesitating to point her out to her and another.

The brunette waved, and all Bernie could do was wave back. Her mind may have exaggerated her looks earlier, but that didn’t stop Dorothea from being drop dead gorgeous in her eyes. As she made her way over, Bernie tried her best to smile and appear confident.

“Hey you, I’m glad you came.” Dorothea told her, walking over. “Really cute dress too.”

“Oh!” Bernie’s hope of not blushing were quickly dashed. “Thank you.” She gripped the side of her skirt but released at her tightly she grasped it. “Uhm… you’re looks gr- amazing on you.”

“Oh, thank you Bernie.” Dorothea told her, hoping her makeup would hide a little of her blush. “Did you want to take a picture with me real quick?”

The question came all to sudden with Bernie, who stammered for a bit. “Oh uhm, I mean sure. Yeah that’d be great.” 

“Ferdie, come take a picture of us, would you, dear?” Dorothea waved him over, who showed a side of playful reluctance. Placing her arm around her friends shoulders, Bernie also wrapped an arm around Dorothea’s waist, smiling as she tried to hold her legs in place without trembling. Ferdinand took the picture, smiling a little to himself. 

“There you gals are. I’ll send them to you later.” He told them, walking off.

“Okay,” The brunette looked to her friends. “I gotta use the bathroom but I’ll be right back.” She told them, walking off.

Smiling to herself at the encounter, Bernie turned to leave only to trip over someone's foot. They put their arm out around her, but she managed to steady herself in time. “I’m really sorry!” She told them.

“Oh no, it’s fine.” A male student told her. “No harm done.” He told her. “So, you’ve never been to a dance before?” He asked.

“Yeah, never had the chance. I wasn’t really sure what to expect.” Bernie explained. She normally wouldn’t talk to strangers, but something about him made her not worry.

“I get it.” He nodded in agreement. “I went to a few in middle and high school.” He told her. “Didn’t really enjoy myself at them.”

“Oh, were they any different back then?” She asked him.

“Less grinding against each other.” He joked, Bernadetta giggling in response. Before she could say anything, Dorothea had returned.

“Okay, sorry about that babe.” She said, kissing Myrmidon on the lips. “Ready to head back in.” She asked.

“Yeah, sure thing.” He told her, smiling. 

Dorothea turned back to her friend, “We’re gonna head back in, kay. I’ll see you around though.”

“Yeah,” Bernie told her, an expression almost similar to her professors. 

“Come here,” Dorothea opened up her arms, and Bernie gladly accepted the hug. That said, she learned that her crush’s dressed contoured to her body  _ too well  _ as she hugged back. Pulling away, her wave goodbye to them turned into fanning her face as the girl made her way back outside.

Ignoring the bitter air and the smell of someone smoking a cigarette, the girl rushed over to an isolated side of the entrance and puller her hair. “Get it together Bernie. No crying over what you saw.” She told herself. “Don’t be a bitch Bernie!” She slapped herself in the face lightly. “Bernie’s no bitch.” She slapped harder, causing her to place a hand on her cheek. “Ow.” She whined, sniffling a little.

“Bernie, you out here?” Caspar called out.

“Yeah.” She answered weakly. “I’m out here, Caspar.”

“Hey,” He walked over. “Just wanted to make sure you if had gone home yet?” He told her. “You all good?”

“I… just met Myrmidon.” She told him, making the boy wince for her.

“Yikes… I’m uh…” He quickly changed the topic. “How was it?” He asked.

“Not bad, he was actually pretty nice.” Bernie admitted. “Saw them kiss.”

“Oof.” Caspar told her. “I’m sorry, I guess it was obvious you were gonna run into that kind of thing.” He said. 

“No no, it’s fine. I knew it too, I just wasn’t really prepared for it.” She told him. “But I did hug her.”

“Well there you go, she’s always happy to see you.” He told her.

“Uhm…” She leaned forward, whispering. “I hugged her tighter just because he was in front of his.”

Caspar held a fist over his mouth, and Bernie giggled in delight at his reaction. “Damn, I didn’t know you were such a flexer, Bernie.” He raised his hand and she gladly returned the high five.

“Thanks,” She said, before the two briefly shared silence between them.

“Hey can I ask you something?” He asked.

“Sure,” She nodded her head.

“How long have you had a crush on Dorothea?” He whispered to her.

“Uhm!” Bernadetta was taken aback by the question, as if Caspar wanted to tease her for it. The boy merely waited with patience as she wandered to her answer. While she was reluctant to be so open about, she had been dying to share someone the details.

“Well, when I first came here, it was a little jarring. When you start a new class, it’s easy for everyone to not know each other. Coming here, you were all well acquainted already so it made me feel off. And on my first day, I took a break at the cafe where she works at.” Bernadetta explained, Caspar nodding as he listened. “She came up to me, because she had introduced herself to me earlier, and she said ‘if you tell me your favorite kind of coffee I promise I’ll remember it.’ And I did.” She told him.

“Can I jump ahead?” Caspar cut in, grinning.

“Yeah.” Bernie answered, already expecting what he might say.

“Did she forget the next day?” He asked, cracking a smile as Bernadetta nodded.

“Yep!” She told him, and the two burst into laughter. “She came up to me the very next morning.” Bernie said, before giggling some more.

“Same thing happened to me.” He told her. “Wanna know what she said? She was like ‘you take three sugars and no cream right’ and I was like, ‘I told you I drink tea.’” He said, making themselves laugh.

“W-well… it was the fact that she wanted to make up for it. I could tell she was doing her best to make me feel welcome.” Bernadetta told him, blushing a little. “Maybe I was jumping ahead too much, but at the time I feel like she was gonna be someone special.” She admitted, turning away some more.

“Aw, that’s actually really sweet Bernie. Can’t say I’ve ever had a crush over something like that.” Caspar told her.

“Well, it started to manifest more when I stalked her instagram.” She confessed, covering her face with her hands.

“Holy shit.” Caspar stated. “I never took you for someone to slide into another’s dm’s.”

“No!” She exclaimed, gently hitting him. “I didn’t!”

The two shared a quick laugh with each other before falling into another silence. There was a shared admiration of the scenery of their campus, which was basked in the moon's glow. Caspar looked over to Bernie, speaking up. “You know, if it were me, I’d gladly see you come here with Dorothea tonight.”

“Huh?” Bernadetta turned to look at him, a look of surprise in her eyes.

_ “Now how could you think this is acceptable.” _ _   
_ _ “No partner would ever want this in their spouse.” _

_ “Come on, pick up your feet. Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?” _

They all replayed in her head, and her hands started trembling in fright. “What do you mean?” She asked him, on the edge of petrification.

“I mean, It’s… god what do I want to say.” He thought over his words for a moment. “You compliment her personality, if that works.” Caspar told her. “You two defintly work together as a duo. Am I making sense?” He told her.

All she did was stare back at him, as her friend did his best to properly explain himself. No one in her life had ever told her such a thing. All she could do was tremble in amazement as tears formed in her eyes.

“Thank you.” She whispered to him, so softly he didn’t quite catch it at first.

Looking back at her for a moment, Caspar was looking for a way to respond when the sound of footsteps distracted them. Claude ran out front of the school, the two bracing themselves at the idea of him pulling a scheme.

“Dimitri!” He called out, and soon enough the Blue Lion leader emerged from the shadows. “It’s starting, we gotta get in there.” He told them.

“Oh shit, we gotta go. The dance off is coming up!” Caspar told her.

The two hurried inside, and every student that was waiting in the lobby were all now rushing into the main ballroom. Onstage, Edelgard stood along with Mercedes and Ignatz, each being illuminated by a spotlight of their House colors. There, Dean Rhea stood with a microphone, smiling at the crowd.

“Thank you everyone.” She addressed the crowd. “We are happy to continue one of Garreg Mach’s oldest traditions. Our Three houses will compete in a dance competition, who will be judged by both the crowd, and our professors. Now, let’s give it up for our dancers this year.”

The trio onstage could only smile and wave back. “And so, as per tradition,” The Deadn continued, “The winner of last year's competition will go first, which falls on to the Golden Deer Hou-”   
  
“Yeah! Fear the Deer! Wow!” Claude called out from the crowd, causing an uproar of laughter from the spectators. As Seteth glared at him, Rhea herself struggled to keep her composure onstage.

“And with that, before anymore interruptions,” The woman tried her best to suppress her laughter. “Let us begin!” She declared.

As the music played, Igantz went first. It was clear that he saw dance as a new art form for him to conquer. His dancing was impressive for someone who had such a short time to practice. His crowd cheered him on, with Claude leading them the most, clearly ecstatic over his own pick.

With Mercedes, there was the elegance one would expect from her. Bernadetta admitted that she looked stunning in her dress, which flowed perfectly alongside her. The Blue Lions were mostly silent, allowing the girl to perform in peace with little distraction.

But Edelgard, the Professor was right to chose her. She wasn’t Dorothea, but he dance shined above the rest. She danced like her life depended on it, and in that pressure did she create something so spectacular in Bernie’s eyes. The house did it’s best to settle themselves long enough to let her finish, but that was broken by Dorothea who screamed in excitement when he friend flipped her hair in the middle of the dance. Ending it with an impressive twirl, the houses erupted in cheers, with Rhea quickly taking the stage.

“Alright, judges,” She looked over to Hanneman and Manuela. “Have you made your choice?” 

“We sure have.” Hanneman announced.

“We chose the Black Eagles to be this years winner!” Manuela told the crowd, which erupted in cheers. Bernadetta and Caspar turned to each other, yelling in excitement. Onstage, a grateful Edelgard rushed into the crowd, running at her professor and jumping into a surprise hug. From across the room, Claude feigned his aggiation with losing, making his usual signature “Deer sign” at the victorious house before breaking his demeanor and sincerely congratulating them.

Bernadetta made her way into the crowd, surprising many to see her there. She smiled and waved at them as she made her way towards where her dorm mates were gathered. Most of the dancing had resumed, as Dorothea and Edelgard shared their finally. The two joined their friends, conversing with each other over the music.

She watched the two dance. Dorothea had never looked happier that night, and Edelgard seemed to enjoy herself far too much for her own good. Bernadetta could feel herself smiling, the brunette’s happiness resonating with her. Her prediction of tonight being special came true, by the looks of it.

“I’m glad I came.” She admitted out loud, wondering if anyone would hear her.

“Yeah, we’re all glad you could make it Bernie.” Ferdinand spoke up, the others smiling to her.

“Thanks guys.” She told them, as Edelgard joined the group.

Looking over, Dorothea and Bernadetta’s eyes met, and the brunette made her way over, holding out her hand in offerance, a smile on her face.

“Do you want to dance, Bernie?”

The girl nearly froze at the question, her face going red as she stammered her way around a sentence. Caspar cheered in excitement, giving her an encouraging push. “Hell yeah she would!” He told Dorothea.

“H-h yeah. Hell yeah I would.” Bernadetta repeated as she took her hand, Dorothea giggling as she led her on to the dance floor.

Bernadetta didn’t know how to dance, and Dorothea made sure to reassure the girl by telling her that it did not matter. The two couldn’t keep a straight face at all, on the fit of giggles throughout the entire song. The amount of times the brunette had to resteady her friend were high, but Bernie could care less about the mistakes she was making. This was the first time she could say she could wait to go back to her room.

* * *

  
  


“Damn, what a night.” Caspar told himself, resting his arms behind his head. “What about you, did you have a good time?”

Bernie looked up at the night sky, counting all the stars she could see. “Yep,” She proudly admitted. “Sure did.” 

“That’s what I want to hear.“ He encouraged. 

Around them, many students made their way back home, with Bernadetta even catching sight of her professor leaving, carrying that girl from earlier on his back.

“Oof, looks like someone’s stuck with babysitting duty.” Caspar commented, as the girl pouted about being tired.

She was going to have to ask him what her deal was in the future.

Making her way to her room, Bernadetta kicked her shoes off before flopping onto her bed, worrying about her dress later. It had been a long night, her feet were sore, and her knees felt weak from all the wobbling. Still, she turned on her speaker and resumed listening to music. Whatever happened for the rest of the night was out of her control. The events of tonight replayed in her head, and the girl gave a triumph punch.

Reaching over to grab her phone, the girl became perplexed by the notification light blinking. Swiping open her lockscreen, Bernadetta was delighted to see herself tagged in posts with Ferdinand, who had shared his collection of photos of the night. Among them was the one of her and Dorothea, which she saved. A like, no, a heart react would suffice, exhilaration filling her at the thought of Dorothea reacting the same way.

Suddenly there was a message from Caspar, and then another, and then several more. Opening his messages, her phone began downloading a file while the rest loaded. Several pictures he had taken, all of her and Dorothea dancing together. She wasn’t even aware of how close he had gotten to them to get some of the picture. The file finished, and the girl was treated to a ten second video of sharing a dance with her crush.

_ Caspar: No need to thank me ;) _

_ Caspar: Be sure to share, she’d love it I bet _ _   
_ _ Caspar: Get that crush clout on instagram _

Phone trembling in hand, Bernadetta hardly had the accuracy to hit save. She was going to have to thank him later. For now, she compiled her favorite photos, and put them into a post.

_ @BernieTryingArt: i JUst danced with @Dorotheatrics BEST!!! NIGHT!!!! EVER!! _

Bernie waited, and waited, and waited for her phone to buzz with a notification. Her eyes heavy, she could hardly make the sound of the vibration as she drifted off to sleep.

She could get it later, she had done enough that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That sequence in the ballroom when she first enters was the oddest thing I think I've written but once it's written it stays in the chapter.
> 
> (Also still the 29th here, happy birthday Dorothea)
> 
> Bernie dances in her room song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnPO-E9EWm0
> 
> Dorothea seduces Bernie in her mind song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF5iihkwNys
> 
> Dorothea and Bernadetta dancing together (it's always this song I chose for dancing couples and you can't stop me): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e262k42UWO0


	7. Bonus Chapter: Fright Nights at GMU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't take this one too seriously. This was last minute I just wanted to write something silly.

She would have been contempt with just staying in her room, munching on candy and drinking soda while watching horror movies all day. After the night Bernadetta had, it was normal to solidate oneself and relax. Yet her viewing of a 90’s indie-horror flick was interrupted from a text on her phone. Dorothea had texted her, asking  _ “are you busy tonight? It’s fine if you are.”  _

Her heart raced at the message. What could her crush want? Date cancelled on her? Needing help in and out of a revealing costume? Every press on her keyboard to reply with a trembling thumb as she typed out  _ “No, just watching movies?”  _ She wanted to ask her if she wanted to join, even if Dorothea would invite more people, or not stay for the whole time, it’d be nice to at least spend some time with her.

_ “Okay well, if you’re up to it, we have a little tradition on Halloween here on campus.” _

Now she was perplexed. Whatever it was, Bernie felt she wouldn’t feel the need to take in any part of it, but as of late the social aspect of university life seemed to reel her in rather she wanted it to or not. Perhaps this was a chance to kick an age old habit of hiding in her room on Halloween in exchange for something else.  _ “Well what is it?”  _ She asked. The girl knew Dorothea wouldn’t keep it a secret unless it was something really important. 

_ “Every year we play hide and seek around campus. Usually ends when everyone’s found or we get caught by staff and are forced to return to the dorms.” _

The initial reaction could have been to just toss her phone aside, bored by the response she had given. What’s the point of going out to hide from her classmates when she hides from them everytime she shuts her door. Plus no costumes, meaning no chance to see what breathtaking as always look Dorothea would have for tonight.

On the other hand though, hide and seek was one of her favorite games she used to play back when her parents let her have friends. Her small build made the girl able to hide in spots others wouldn’t even think to look. Though the idea of angering school faculty seemed to unnerve her, though she brushed the idea off.

There wasn’t much better things to do for her, however. Bernadetta loved Halloween even if she hadn’t celebrated it as a kid, so maybe joining all of her friends for an adult game of hide and seek would make for something special. Typing out her response, she sent a message to agree to meet the others later that night.

Little did she know, from somewhere else on campus, a sinister force made their plan.

* * *

  
  


“Ah, I see we got some fresh blood for tonight.” Claude announced at the group, Edelgard standing by him. Among the players were Bernadetta, Dorothea, Ignatz, Sylvian, and Hilda, sitting in a group inside the Black Eagles house. “Seeing as how our lovely seekers have offered to host us, the game is simple. You go hide around campus, Edie here will try and find us.” The Golden Deer leader explained. “Once found, you must alert the group chat that you’ve been found and return to your dorms or at the very least somewhere safe. Any questions?”

Dorothea raised her hand. “What do we do with people who give away our hiding spots?”

“Snitches get stitches.” Claude explained. “Shouldn’t have to go over this. Alright,” He clapped his hands in excitement. “We got about three minutes until these dudes try and find us. No classrooms, nothing off campus. Okay go!” He quickly told them, running out the door.

The group hurried out the door with Edelgard remaining idle, smiling sadistically to them. Sneaking past the gatekeeper, who was stationed at the schools entrance, the group managed to make it onto school grounds. The campus as night felt like a desolate playground, fun, but the danger of being caught made it all the more terrifying. What little staff there was paid the students no mind as they ran around.

Bernadetta darted around frantically, trying her best to find a lone hiding spot. As the others ran off, Bernie spotted a lone cardboard box. As strange as it was to see it lying there, she went over and quickly picked it up, only for a hand to reach out from underneath and grab it, making her scream before her own hand shot to her mouth.

“Go away,” The girl hissed. “This is my hiding spot.”

She was annoyed at the attitude, and suspicious. This was someone  _ not _ at the dorm meeting just now. “You weren’t even…” Bernie began to explain, but decided to drop it. She had better things to do than get mad at a kid.

Luckily for Bernie, there were some bushes that she was able to crouch and hide. Thankful for her smaller build, she crouched and waiting. Waiting, waiting, watching, watching, wondering if she had always thought hide and seek was this boring as a kid.

It has been at least minutes of waiting, or as Bernie thought of it, ten minutes of not being in her room playing the Halloween events on Team Fortress 2 when her phone buzzed. Quickly grabbing it, she silenced it before checking who had sent her a message.

_ Claude: “And I’ve been caught. I think one of you snitched on me. Know that there are consequences.” _

_ Dorothea: “L” _

From somewhere else on Campus, Dorothea snickered to herself, reading the message. Since her phone was out, she typed up another message to her boyfriend.

_ Myrmidon: hey _

_ Dorothea: “Hey babe, how’s your night going?” _

_ “It’s going well, but all I can think about is being with you rn.” _

_ “How about a pic to get you by?” _

Looking around, Dorothea tugged on the collar of her shirt, exposing her cleavage as she turned on her camera. Giving a seductive look to the camera, the brunette only just noticed a dark figure behind her as she sent the picture.

“Who’s there!?” She turned around, calling out to someone.

Someone stood with a dark cloak, approaching her. She had plenty of time to scream when the knife was raised into the air.

  
  
Meanwhile, Bernadetta was annoyed at herself. While seeing Dorothea sing or sharing a dance with her was something special, she had the suspicion she’d just sit in a bush all night until some angry security staff made her go back to her dorm. Resting her cheeks against her fists, she perked up at the sound of footsteps, trying to remain silent as they got closer. From the other side of her, she could hear someone approaching as well.

“Gah!” Edelgard screamed, before regaining her composure. “I apologize professor, you startled me.”

“That was a cute scream.” He commented under his breath, not seeming to mind that the girl had heard him, making her flustered.

“That’s… not the point.” She said, her cheeks turning scarlet. “I apologize for being out so late I uhm…” She briefly looked for an excuse. “I forgot a bag somewhere near here and was looking for it.”

“Will you scream cutely when you find that also?” Byleth asked, his tone devoid of emotion.

“Professor!” The student snapped at him, turning away in embarrassment. “I guess this is a bad time, I’ll be seeing you tomorrow in class then.” She told him, moving on her way to avoid suspicion.

“Alright.” He responded. “By the way Edelgard.” He called out, making the girl turned around to look at him. “Be careful tonight, okay?”

All she could do for a moment was stare back at him, unsure of what his words truly meant. “Of course, By- Professor. You have a good night.”

The two walked away, and Bernadetta was left contemplating if she just saw her house leader flirt with their professor. After a while, she checked her phone to pass the time. She couldn’t remember if there was a rule for the seekers to call it quits. Eventually she broke, and decided to emerge from her hiding spot to go back to the house. She pulled up her phone, ready to send a text to the chat letting them know she had given up when something caught her eye. 

Over in a lone corner there laid a pool of blood. The girl examined it closer, not finding anything particularly noteworthy about the scene. There would usually be some sort of visual cue as to what happened here.

“Uhm… hello?” Bernadetta looked around, wondering if someone was around to help investigate.

* * *

  
  


“Oh shit…” Hilda giggled to herself, her head swaying around. Her bloodshot eyes tried to adapt to the darkness as the girl struggled to keep her balance. “Claude the edibles are kicking in.” She laughed to herself, a little too hard for something not all that funny. The distraction was all that was needed as a black cloaked figure swooped in on her.

The scream managed to catch the attention of Bernadetta, who hurried over to where she had heard it. Already were Sylvian and Ignatz investigating as well, yet another pool of blood poured onto the concrete of the school. 

“I don’t know where she is.” Ignatz said. “None of my messages are going through.” 

“Mine neither.” Sylvian said. “Bernadetta, did you see anyone at all on the way over? Do you know who was hiding over here?”

“No.” The girl shook her head. “I just saw another pool of blood over there.” She pointed out.

“Crap, that’s two then.” He said. “Okay guys, stick with me. We’re gonna find the others and figure out what the hell is going on.”

The trio moved out, traversing the campus, the lights seemed to flicker on and off around them. Clutching her hoodie, Bernadetta stuck close with Sylvian and Ignatz, the former putting on a brave face as he led the group, while the other stayed behind the three, always checking over his shoulder. 

“We should probably tell someone on staff.” Bernadetta said, not expecting a response in return.

“No, they’ll just make us clean it up and go home.” Ignatz explained. 

“Probably just Claude pulling another scheme.” Sylvian rolled his eyes. “You know Dimitri says he has nothing to do with it but I know he  _ did _ have something to do with my fucking toothpaste getting mixed with pickle juice.” He explained, leading them around a corner.

While the girl recoiled in disgust, Ignatz snickered in response. “That’s kind of funny, actually. Do you know how he pulled it off?”

There wasn’t a response, everyone’s eyes became fixated. All around them, strange sigils hung around them, made out of almost unnatural wood. The same symbol painted on the walls of the buildings as well. Each step they took through the area made them more and more unnerved.

“This is creepy as hell…” Sylvian commented.

“We… need to go or something.” Bernadetta spoke up, before a rustling sound before them made her yelp.

“Shit!” Sylvan exclaimed. “Ignatz, go run for help. Bernadetta you stay here with me.” He ordered. “Ignatz…?”

Their friend was gone, only his glasses left in their place. Bernadetta picked them up, examining them. Trembling, she looked back to Sylvian, who’s brave facade had fallen. “We need to run.” She told him.

“Wait,” He raised a hand, signalling her to be silent. The girl waited, wondering what it was he was listening for, when she heard it too. Far in the distance, Ignatz could be heard.

“Help me!” His quiet voice called out, “Help!” 

“Oh my god…” Bernadetta’s hand covered her mouth as she tried not to sob.

“Go look for him.” Sylvian told her.

“Are you nuts? They killed Dorothea and Hilda, I’m not going, you go.” She argued.

Before they could argue further about who was going, the black cloaked figure emerged from the bushes. The two screamed in fright, turning and running as the figure gave chase. Their frantic pace mixed with mostly having the moon for light made Sylvian trip over a sidewalk. He yelped in pain as he grabbed his ankle. Bernie turned around and tried to grab his wrist to help him, but their pursuer was over him first.

“Run Bernie!” He called out, and she didn’t hesitate to turn and run. Looking back, all Slyvian did was growl “Do your worst you-” 

His voice snuffed out, all Bernadetta could do was keep on running. She was all that was left, the final girl, with everyone else gone. When had arrived to this school months ago, she had hoped to have a fresh start, experience things she could never have felt back home, and as soon as she found herself in a corner with the killer hot on her trail, she was incredibly let down to learn that it’d end with her being murdered in an alley on campus.

“Please! Please don’t!” She pleaded with the killer. “I can’t offer you much but I can cook well!” She fell to her knees. “Then let me compose a swan song at the least.” Clasping her hands, Bernie began to coo out. “Avast, poor Bernie ran far in the world, slain. Tragically, a virgin.”

The killer stopped, snorting out laughing. “That’s mine too.’ Claude said, pulling off his hood. “Sorry, I kinda took it too far I guess.”

“A little!?” Bernie screamed back, rising to her shaking knees.

“I didn’t say a little.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack, I thought Dorothea got murdered for a second.” Bernadetta explained.

Claude revealed the rest of the hiders. Dorothea had been confused for Hilda, who he had planned to find first. Ignatz was in as well, making Bernie reluctant to return his glasses. Sylvan tried to warn her earlier, but Claude covered his mouth to prevent him from doing so.

“That was mean!” Bernadetta complained. 

“Look, we’re sorry.” Claude did his best to try and apologize between his snickering.

“Claude!” Edelgard had called out, an angry look on his face. The group realized they had been caught, and were awaiting her wrath now as she approached them. “What the fuck?”

“I’m sorry Edie, really.” Claude tried to explain. “I mean the knife is fake and all.”

“Well we didn’t need to go that far with fake blood.” Ignatz explained.

“Huh?”

“And those weird sigils you hung up by the classrooms were really creepy.” Sylvian explained.

“Guys.” Claude spoke up. “I don’t have fake blood with me, and I don’t know about sigils or whatever.”

Suddenly, the trees behind them began to sway back and forth, perfectly in sync with each other. The group watched as they swayed side to side perfectly. 

“Come on Claude, this isn’t that funny anymore.” Dorothea explained.

“This isn’t me.” He said.

Everyone froze in terror as the trees stopped. All that moved was the leaves that were shaken off to reveal a large wooden crest symbol within them. An evil cackling could be heard from all around them, making the students scream in terror.

Byleth has been concerned by the screams he had heard, and braced himself when he saw several students round the corner and run at him.

“Professor!”

“Professor run!”

“Save us!”

“Byleth!” Edelgard ran up to him, putting her hands on his chest for safety. “There’s a… presence here. I don’t know what it is but if you go to fight it I promise to be by your side.” She pleaded, looking up at him.

Bewildered as he was by their behavior, and reluctant to put a comforting arm around Edelgard, all the professor did was look around them. “You guys should just go back to your dorms.”

Edelgard stammered over her words, shocked by her teachers bluntness. “But professor-” 

“Thank you Edelgard, but I’ll be alright.” He told her, gently grabbing her wrists and pulled them away. “Just make sure everyone gets home safe, I don’t want to have this go to school staff.”

Looking among themselves, the group had decided it was best to listen and leave. As they walked off, Byleth sighed, his ears picking up someone snickering nearby. Looking over, he happened to notice a lone cardboard box. Grabbing it, he lifted it up to find the suspected target hiding underneath, a bottle of fake blood by her side.

“Come on Sothis, funs over.” He told her.

“Aw, no fair.” The girl pouted. “You never let me get to have fun.”

“Not at the expense of my students.” He said. “Now come on, you got a lot of cleaning up to do.”

“Fine,” Sothis rolled her eyes. Snapping her fingers, she looked to Byleth. “There happy?”

Silent for a moment as he looked around, Byleth examined to see if she had actually done anything at all with that. “You can do that?” He asked.

“Yep…” She cackled evilly to herself. “I sure can.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Alternate Ending**

  
  
  


Dorothea smiled at her boyfriend's response to the picture, asking  _ “what kind of costume you wearing tonight babe?” _

Her best response was no costume, as she held a hand over her topless chest and snapped the picture. She grinned to herself at what response they’d have as she quickly tapped a contact and hit send, going too fast as to see who she actually sent it too.

“Oh fuck!” She exclaimed, quickly running out of her room and down the hall. Knocking on the door frantically, Dorothea barged into fine Bernadetta staring blankly at the wall, her nose pouring blood out of a nostril. “I’m so sorry Bernie.”

“No it’s fine,” The girl responded, her tone devoid of tone. It was like her brain was fried. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while now so this is nice.”   
  
“I didn’t know though…” Dorothea explained, walking in.

Turning and seeing her crush without a shirt or bra on, Bernie’s head flew back as blood sprayed from nostrils, knocking her out and leaving Dorothea standing in the room as she covered her chest. 

“Sorry…” She tried to explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to spoof Blair Witch Project along with giving five characters the horror archetype (thanks Cabin in the Woods) for the season. This won't be the only bonus chapter I write but again, this one is meant to just be a silly thing.


	8. Dorothea's Affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this one because it only has two characters

Dorothea, clad in some of her finest makeup and wearing one of favorite jackets, walked the boulevard alone at night with her headphones on. A dark cloud hung over her on the brisk November night as she tried her best to radiate a form of happiness to the few passersby on the streets. Her date had gone not so well, something both her and her boyfriend mutually agreed upon. It seemed neither of them were in the right mindset for a dinner date, and even with the promise of meeting up another time, the feeling ate away at her about how poor their date went.

“It’s nothing, Dorothy.” She told herself. “Bad dates happen all the time.”

Yeah, with previous partners. Many previous attempts at finding love that always ended in heartbreak, someone being hurt from the fallout. It was always a possibility, and sometimes an inevitability in some cases and tonight left her wondering if this was another lost cause. Another reason to think she was incapable of finding true love, as if her birth parents saw it right from the beginning.

She shook her head, now was not the time to self loath, not when she was still out on the streets, not when she had a dorm full of classmates that she’d happily call her friends, and not when she was in the care of very loving foster parents for most of her childhood. 

“Head up girl, you still got it.” The self motivation speak could only tide her over until she got back to the dorms to find the common room barren, leaving just the brunette to throw her jacket off, kick off her shoes, grab something to drink and lean back on the couch as turn on the tv. 

Letting out a sigh, Dorothea stared up at the ceiling as she took in the nights events. Throughout the date, the two could never get on the same wavelength, their minds both wandering somewhere else and hardly even able to focus on each other. Well past the honeymoon phase, she had made a fatal flaw in taking at that frustration on him. She knew she had taken it too far, luckily for her he was very forgiving that night. The couple agreed they would make up for this before going their separate ways.

Checking her phone, her head leaned forward as she watched TV. It would seem distasteful to send an apology text, internet celebrities could apologize better than she could at the moment. For now, all she had was water, Netflix, and then extra time to cry in her room thanks to a lack of class tomorrow.

Though she wasn’t alone, in her time of self loathing did her ears not pick up on someone sneaking down the stairs and tiptoeing to the fridge. At first she paid no rummaging around, until the sound of something falling and hitting the floor along with someone cursing.

“Huh?” Dorothea lifted her head up to see a blur of lavender hair moving around. “Bernie, is that you?”

* * *

  
  


Bernadetta, alone in a hoodie and a pair of shorts, sat contempt in her room, playing video games on her laptop. With no classes tomorrow, she vowed for a cozy night in. Everyone else was busy that night, and the only downside to that was now she’d have to play Minecraft alone.

“Oh well, too bad for them, Bernie.” She giggled to herself in delight. She had cookies and a case of soda she had bought for herself. “See Bernie, not so bad. Just you, four walls and a roof, and not a reason to come out of your room.” 

Her phone vibrated, and she ignored it for a moment. No reason to answer right away at least. But then it buzzed again, and again which eventually caught her attention. Turning in her chair to her phone, plugged into the wall.

When she saw who they were from, her heart stopped.

_ Mom: “Hello. I am just letting you know that know that you’re father has been made aware of where you are.” _

_ Mom: “As of now, he doesn’t plan on doing anything. Do you wish for us to come bring you anything you need?” _

Her hands were hardly able to grasp the phone properly anymore. Bernadetta breathe became short and rapid. Trapped within her walls, knowing very well this was the one place she’d be found. She had to escape before they come bursting through the door.

Rushing out of her room, struggling to walk properly with each step as that tingling numbness spread from her feet and up her legs. If she was going to go through one of these again she’ll need water. Making her way downstairs and into the kitchen, she was certain she was alone as she grabbed a glass of water.

Her hands shook as she tried to get some water. Her breaths were shallow, and shuddering as she did her best to calm down. Yet her hands betrayed her as the cup slipped from her hands and fell on the floor. “Shit!” She panicked.

“Bernie? Is that you?” Dorothea called over, having not noticed each other.

“I’m sorry.” She spoke, grabbing a towel. Kneeling down, she wiped up the water spilt on the floor. Dorothea approached, and the girl flinched. “I’ll clean it up! I promise!” The girl pleaded.

Upon examining her more, Dorothe noticed how shaken Bernadetta seemed to be. Her hands trembled, her knees shook and her eyes were petrified. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah.” She grabbed her hair roughly and played with it. “Just uh didn’t you have a date? Are you okay?”

“Everythings fine, Bernie.” Dorothea explained. “But you don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine!” Bernadetta insisted as her whole body trembled. She could hardly feel her hands and her limbs were going numb as well.

“Come here,” Dorothea gently put her hands on the girls shoulders. “It’s okay…” she cooed softly to her. “Come sit on the couch with me, it’s going to be alright.”

Bernadetta was bewildered by her friends response as she gently grabbed her hand and led her back to the couch. Sitting next to her, Dorothea wrapped an arm around her friends shoulders. “You’re okay Bernie,” She told her. “I’m here for you.

Between the texts from her mother and Dorothea’s almost heavenly comfort, Bernadetta wasn’t entirely sure what to do with herself. Her mind raced, knowing if she didn’t answer the text soon her parents would send someone, or possibly themselves to her school to check up on her. “I’m just worried…” She managed to say.

“It’s alright, you make yourself as comfortable as possible.” Dorothea told her. “I’m here for you, Bernie. You just focus on feeling better.” The girl’s body tremored, Bernadetta trying her best to slow her breathes down and try to get a hold of the tingling numbness in her limbs.

“Breathe in…” Dorothea instructed. Despite her body still shaking, Bernadetta inhaled through her mouth. “And breathe out.”

“I’m sorry I-” Bernadetta tried to speak, her body trembling with every word. But Dorothea would have none of it, gently pushing a finger to her lips. She froze on the spot, not sure if she was blushing or not.

“Shh…” Dorothea cooed. “None of that right now. You’re okay, I promise.” Pulling her friend close to her chest, she held her waist and stared at her. “Anything you want to talk about?”

All Bernie could do was shake her head, holding her tongue. Dorothea reaffirmed her, “That’s alright. Here,” The brunette shifted her position, patting her lap. “Lie down, I’ll take care of you.”

“B-but Dorothea!” Bernadetta tried to interject, but the smile Dorothea gave her reassured that it was alright. This was something entirely new to her, only heard about in fiction she had consumed over the years. A first for everything, she threw caution to the wind in order to rid herself of the anxiety.

Resting her head on Dorothea’s lap, Bernadetta looked up at the ceiling as she felt a gentle finger trace over hear ear, brushing her hair around. All her friend did was quietly shush her, humming gently to her while her hands gently brushed across her face. “Everything is okay…” She whispered to her.

Slowly, her body began to calm down. The initial panic wearing off as Bernadetta tried to clear her thoughts. Rather, her mind was else was focused on the gently fingers tracing around her face, humming to her all the while. From the soothing sound of her voice and the way her fingertips caressed her nose, the girl was able to let out a sigh as she finally relaxed after a while.

And Dorothea was as patient as ever, merely focused on her friends well being. The memories of this night, and her crappy date, were fading away. For now, all she wanted was her friend to feel better in hopes she wouldn’t go through the same thing she was going through.

“Didn’t you have a date? How was it?” Bernadetta asked, finally having the courage to speak up. Dorothea took her time in replying, gently tugging on strands of Bernie’s hair.

“It was… we just weren’t connecting tonight.” She told her. “Sometimes dating’s like that, though. We promised to see each other again over November break though.”   
  
“I’m really sorry, Dorothea.” Bernie said to her.

“Oh, don’t be. I’ve had much worse dates before.” She told her friend. “I once went to Homecoming with this girl who left me for another girl.”

“Oh!” Bernadetta’s eyes popped open, catching her caretaker’s attention. “S-sorry… just didn’t know you were into girls.” She said, turning towards the TV to hide her face.

Looking down, Dorothea raised an eyebrow before wearing a smug smirk briefly. “But right now that doesn’t matter…” Her voice trailed off, contemplating to even ask. “Is everything alright with you? Did something happen that made you…”

Bernadetta winced upon question, but Dorothea placed a gentle hand on her head, rubbing her scalp lightly. “Well… my mom texted me.” The brunette stayed silent, letting her friend finish. “She said my dad knows I’m here.” She began shivering, clutching the collar of her hoodie. “She asked if I needed her to come for any reason.”

“You’re dad doesn’t even know where you are?” Dorothea asked, leaning forward. 

“No, my mom thought it was best he didn’t know initially. Ever since I graduated from High School, she knew I was too scared to do anything with my life. So one day,” Bernadetta reminisced a memory, one of the hardest days in her life. “She told me to start packing as much clothes as I could, and that night I was put in a car, drove an hour to the train station. From there, I traveled alone to the campus. Arrived that afternoon.”

“I remember,” Dorothea spoke up, making Bernadetta turn back to her. “They told us someone was moving into the Dorms that day. You took the final spot in the Black Eagles house.” The girl gently raked her fingernails across the top of Bernie’s head. “I kinda had a feeling the circumstances for you coming here were… different.” She pondered. “I tried my best to make you feel as welcome as possible.”

“And you did good!” Bernadetta cut in. “I mean, you were nice. You still are.” She tried to backstack, finding a way to justify speaking up. “And I appreciate- thank you.” She stammered.

And she giggled, and Bernadetta was forced to hide her hands in her face, much to the amusement of her friend. “Of course, Bernie. I’m always happy to be your friend.” She told her, continuing her hairplay. “So how much of your perception has changed from when you first got here?”

“Well,” Bernadetta began. “My categories for people were ‘not scared of’ and ‘scared of.’ You were on the ‘not scared of list,’ by the way.” She felt a nice, soothing ruffle from her friends nails. “But people like Edelgard and the Professor scared me, Hubest still does.” She chuckled, with Dorothea giggling in return. 

“Yet after a few months, I’ve gotten to know a lot of people, gotten to know you guys better.” Bernadetta proclaimed. “You’ve all been nicer to me than I felt I ever deserved.” She thanked her sincerely.

“Aw Bernie.” Dorothea was flattered. “You’re gonna make me cry.” She said. “But that’s what we are on campus. We live together, we attend school together. It’s cliche as all hell but we’re a family, damnit.” Dorothea announced, playfully slamming her fist onto the couch. “It’s how it felt when I first came. Up until then all I had was my foster parents until I came here.”

Bernadetta said nothing about the last comment, only sitting up instead. She had a feeling that Dorothea’s circumstances weren’t normal like others. Granted, if they loved her like true parents should, then there was nothing strange about it. Her friend’s relationship with her parents could be a far cry from what her own parents put her through.

“Thanks Dorothea.” Bernadetta told her. “Really, I can’t thank you enough.”

“Don’t mention it. I would have done it in a heartbeat.” She responded. “Are you alright? I’m gonna go to my room.”

“Oh! Yeah…” Bernadetta told her. “You can go. I’m probably gonna head back to my room as well.”

Dorothea walked up the stairs, hanging her head. Just a few more steps and she could let it all out. From behind did some footsteps scurry before a pair of arms wrapped around her waist from behind.

“Thank you…” Bernadetta let out. 

Placing her hands on her arms, Dorothea held them for a moment. “Of course, Bernie.” She turned around to face her, cupping her face. “Anything for you.” Leaning in, planting a kiss on her cheek. “Goodnight.” She told her.

“Goodnight,” Bernadetta told her, quickly returning to her room. There, on her desk was her phone still there. Checking it quickly she saw no new notifications. Acting quickly before she’d second guess herself she opened her messages and typed.   
  
_ Bernadetta: “I’m fine, thank you.” _

Turning the phone off, she tossed it aside and ignored it. Whatever her mom would respond with didn’t bother her at the moment. Curling up on her bed, she hugged her pillow as she reminisced over how nice Dorothea’s hands felt on her face, her fingers playing with her hair, and the comforting sound of her voice, and that wasn’t even counting the kiss as she squealed in delight. Her heart raced so fast in her chest at the exhilaration she was feeling. So many emotions ran through her the girls mind at the thought that she’d knew would keep her up late into the night.

As for Dorothea, she looked at her phone. Having sent text after text to no response. her makeup ran down her face at the realization of what was to come between her and Myrmidon. If she was willing to get so close and affectionate to the point of borderline romantic with someone who wasn’t even her partner, then it’d be a matter of time before they’d have to go their separate ways.

She had lured herself into yet another inevitable heartbreak, and it was always the guilt she felt for the other party that hurt Dorothea the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda wish it was longer but trust me a huge chapter is coming. 
> 
> Do you guys even click these songs? Doesn't matter you get them anyways.  
Dorothea's night walk song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Numt5oqS2Oo


	9. Bernie's First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go read A night on the town when you get the chance btw 
> 
> Btw this chapter opens up with a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_2pODsJP2k

The train ride here was terrifying, and she hadn’t stopped clutching her bag even after she got off. Sitting in the back of a strangers car, who had to insist to her for nearly an hour that they wouldn’t hurt her, drove them through the city all morning.

It had been one of the hardest days of her life. Only yesterday it was business as usual in the Von Varley household. Her dad went off on her, reminding Bernadetta of her inevitable loneliness, and pointing out her irredeemable qualities that partners wouldn’t find attractive. To date, she never knew why they were so obsessed with marrying her off with someone, and now she thinks she has it figured out.

“They wanted to get rid of you, Bernie.” She told herself silently. “And they finally did it.”

This was all her mother's idea. As she was crying in her room after her father's abrupt scolding, her mother came in seemingly indifferent to her daughters mood and told her to start packing clothes. At first she thought her mom had enough of her fathers abusive parenting until she reiterated that it was just  _ her _ that would be leaving. Well before the sun was up, she drove her to the train station and gave her a one way ticket to Foldlan.

She had prevented herself from crying the entire way there. All she did was listen to her earpods, not wanting to face anyone or talk to them. But in the early afternoon did the sun illuminate the silhouette of what would be her new school. Garreg Mach University, which gave her a tiny sense of relief over the fact that it was the school her mother told her about. She already had her classes picked out, and all she had to do was meet the staff and find where she was staying. There was a pit in her stomach as the car pulled into the school parking lot.

Stepping out of the car, Bernadetta could see a wave of students moving around on campus and off, unsure of where it was she needed to go. Turning back to the driver, they only shook their head, explaining that her mother told them someone would meet her at the front gates. Looking around, no one seemed to notice her at first, too busy with anything else.

“Uhm…” Bernadetta timidly tried to approach someone who merely passed by. “H-hello…” She tried again, her voice projecting barely above a whisper. Her head darted around as she looked among the crowds for someone familiar, panic filled her at the realization that she was a stranger here as was everyone to her.

“I know Claude, but can we please talk about it later.” A voice seemed to catch her ear. For some reason, it stuck out to her out of every other sound from the school. “I have some business to take care of, I’ll call you back.” A girl with silver hair hung up her phone, before locking eyes with Bernadetta. The feeling of recognition frightened Bernie, who yelped slightly as the older girl called out.

“Are you Bernadetta Von Varley?” She called out, a welcoming smile on her face as she approached the girl. That smile turned to concern so fast that she couldn’t even stop it from changing soon enough when she saw who she was dealing with. Bernadetta backed away, looking around in alarm, unsure of this girl was someone if she could trust, and knowing there was no one else here for her.

Slowly approaching her, she held out a hand to the girl. “My name is Edelgard Von Hresvelg.” She introduced. “I was told you’d be joining us in our dorms today. I’m the leader of one of the Three Houses on campus. Come on, I can show you to the main office.”

Taking her hand, Bernadetta hung her head down as the girl led her through campus. Edelgard seemed to have a kind soul so far. For a stranger, she had offered the expected amount of kindness she had heard of from others. Proper greeting, kind smile, offering to help, and Bernadetta had offered nothing in return, a small amount of guilt already building in her mind.

The office was filled with a variety of school staff, from the front gate guard, too an older gentleman talking sternly to another woman about school plans. The woman in question turned and noticed the two and approached them. Bernadetta tried to cower behind Edelgard, but she seemed to expect this and held her hand a little too tightly to tell her to not try it.

“Hello there,” The woman leaned down to greet Bernadetta. “I’m Dean Rhea.” She told her. “I spoke with your mom the other night. We are happy to have you at this school.”

Bernadetta almost felt insulted by the tone Rhea was speaking in. The Dean spoke to her like a scared child rather than the terrified adult she was. Though it couldn’t bring Bernadetta to resent here. She had explained her classes to her but she wasn’t listening. All she could think about was the kind of things he mother might have told Rhea, and wondered if that’s where the formality was coming from.

“Professor Byleth should be in his office,” Rhea pointed around the corner. “You should go meet him.” She told them, Edelgard nodding and pulling Bernie along.

When they approached his office, Edelgard left Bernadetta’s side for the first time since meeting her. Out stepped her teacher, a taller man who looked like they could have been close to both of their ages. “Professor, I’m happy to see you.” Edelgard spoke, rushing to the man’s side. “This is Bernadetta, who is the student that’ll be joining our class.”

The man stared at her without a shred of emotion, enough to make Bernadetta cower under his stare. “Hello,” He plainly greeted. “I look forward to seeing you in my class.” He said. It was the kind of voice Bernie would here right before it escalated into being yelled it, but that never came. All Byleth did was quickly talk to Edelgard some more before walking off, waving goodbye to the two.

“Come on, let’s show you around campus.” Edelgard told her, taking her by the hand once more. “Don’t worry, he’s like that with everyone.” She explained. “He’s also pretty new here himself. He may seem emotionless, but he’s a driven teacher who inspires the best in his students.” She said.

Bernadetta wasn’t sure if Edelgard was describing their teacher or a superhero. From the sounds of it, her House Lead held their teacher in high regard. All it did was make Bernie feel smaller to those around her. Everyone here, a stranger. To Edelgard, friends, colleagues, loved ones, and now a person to burden her with, and so far she didn’t seem like the kind of person who deserved to have to put up with Bernie.

"One thing to note is if you have any allergies." Edelgard explained. "From what I understand you don't have any food or animals. That's good, Garreg Mach is known for its stray cat population."

Outside, Bernadettas eyes beamed at the amount of stray cats. They avoided the students mostly, and were kept around to hunt mice per Dean Rhea's request. Even if they don’t interact with her, she’d be glad to see them on her daily routine.

The classrooms, the offices, the cafeteria area. It all made Bernie feel lost in a maze. Edelgard assured her she’d get used to it, that even her Professor got lost on his first day as well. That didn’t give her any comfort, but the day had already taken a heavy toll on the girl that she groaned as she sat down at a table near the coffee shop.

“Don’t complain too much.” Edelgard told her. “This is only the tour of the campus.” 

“Right.” Bernadetta agreed, looking down at her feet. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, here.” Edelgard stood up. “Want anything? I’m gonna get myself a tea.”

“Regular coffee, can you get me three sugar packets and two creamers?” She asked.

Edelgard nodded. “Of course, I’ll be right back.” She told her, walking over to the counter.   
  
Watching her, Edelgard was just out of ear shot, so Bernie couldn’t overhear the conversation she had with the attractive brunette working the cashier. She thought about putting her earbuds in again but knew she wouldn’t make through another song until Edelgard came back. For now, all she could do was people watch, which didn’t feel appropriate. The thought of someone making eye contact, not recognizing her and Heaven forbid, come up and start a friendly conversation with her.

“But yeah, she put it on and I was like” okay” and then the first episode ended and I was like “okay you got me hooked.” Claude recounted. Bernadetta’s ear picked up his conversation, taking a quick glance over to see the group of four talking.

“Ah, I’m glad you have better luck than me.” Dimitri explained. “Usually Ashe tried to get me to watch an anime series. I do think they’re enjoyable, just not for me.”

Hilda giggled. “Get yourself a Rapheal. No matter what we put on, he’s just like “hey what’s this” and he’ll sit and watch it with us. No matter what, just watches.”   
  
“We’ve tested him too.” Claude told them.

“Like, ranging from what?” Felix asked.

“It’s like one minute we put on a horror movie, and he’ll walk by, watch it, then leave. We put on cartoons and he watches them just the same.” Claude explained.

“Like, we put on Veggietales the other day just to see and he just sat down, watch it. Didn’t really say anything then left.” Hilda told them, the group laughing in response. Claude noticed Edelgard, calling out to her.

“You ever watch Veggietales, Edie?” He asked, casually expecting a joking response from his fellow House leader.

It took every ounce of willpower to not crush her cup of tea in her hand. Edelgard turned, glaring down her companions. “Never.” Her voice hissed, “Ask me about that  _ thing _ ever again.”

Claude raised his hands defensively. “Whoa, hey.” He tried to talk his way out of this. “I was joking, you didn’t actually need to watch-”   
  
“You  _ will not _ bring that up again near me, am I clear?” She demanded, approaching them.

Bernadetta turned away, wondering what kind of deal Edelgard had over a cartoon. The thought of being at the receiving end of the girls wrath made her shudder. Hunching her shoulders, Bernie opted to check her phone. No new messages or calls from anyone, which she should have expected. For the time being, she was alone here with no contact.

“Here you are sweetie, sorry about that.” The barista announced her presence, placing a coffee down on the table. “Looks like Edie got caught up with Claude’s shenanigans.” She said. “Hi there,” The woman finally introduced herself. “I didn’t realize I’d be meeting the new roommate so soon today. My name’s Dorothea Arnualt.”   
  
Bernadetta looked back at her. To the girls credit it did make her feel welcome, even if part of her character felt forced. As much as it put her off in the inside, Bernie felt it’d at least benefit her to return said attitude. “Hi there, Dorothea. My names Bernadetta.” She told her, wondering if that would be enough to have the conversation end as soon as possible.

“Bernadetta, huh…” Dorothea pondered for a moment. “Okay Bernadetta, tell me how you like your coffee.”

Soon she was put on the spot. It seemed Dorothea’s interests involved breaking down the “stranger barrier” as quickly as she could. Bernie wasn’t counting on her introduction to her classmate would include anything more than a formal greeting and a promise to follow each other on social media and then never talk to each other.

“W-well… I get jittery with caffeine so I prefer decaf. I usually put two sugar packets and a creamer in.” Bernadetta told her. “I usually drink the creamer though.”

And Dorothea laughed, something Bernadetta expected. She thought her cheeks would flush at the thought of being laughed at but the feeling never registered. It had all become something she was used to. First day here and her classmates already thought so little of her that they could belittle her for something as drinking coffee creamer.

“Claude, the one over there.” The brunette pointed out. “He does that too and one time he took like four.” She held her hand over her mouth briefly. “And one of them was sour and spat it on the floor.” Dorothea giggled. “I was behind the counter helping a customer and had to try so hard not to laugh.”

Bernadetta felt a smile creep onto her face. Said smile turned into a smirk, that she tried to hide when it transitioned into a full on chuckle. The two sharing a laugh for a moment, which was all Bernie needed. Edelgard returned, having calmed down.

“Well glad to see you’ve met one of your housemates.” Edelgard told her. “How about we head to the dorms now. You must be tired after all the traveling from this morning.”

In all the dread and excitement Bernie had, it had occurred to her that she had gone a whole night being unable to sleep. With those words, exhaustion seemed to ambush her by surprise. “Yeah,” She agreed. “Bernie’s running on fumes at this point.”

Dorothea giggled. “I gotta get back to work. See you guys around.” She told them. “Nice to meet you, Bernadetta.” She waved to her.

All Bernadetta could do was wave back, a small blush appearing on her cheeks. For some reason, she really liked her name when Dorothea said it. Though tongue tied, all she could do was wave goodbye in response as Edelgard took her by the hand.

On the outskirts of the campus, the three houses stood across from each other. When Bernadetta saw her house, draped in a red banner with an eagle on the front, her mind jumped to panic. “Did I join a frat house?”   
  
“No.” Edelgard insisted, trying to keep herself from cracking a smile. “We rarely throw any parties. The only one we have planned right now is in November, which reminds me.” She pulled out her phone. “I’ll need to get your contact info. It’s best you try to get it from the others as well.”

Well the idea of being in a house that would be throwing a party put Bernie, but she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. After exchanging phone numbers, the two entered the house. Sat on the far end of the couch was Caspar, lounging back in his spot as the tv laid idle on the Netflix menu.

“Yo yo, Edie.” He casually called out, not even giving the two a glance. “So how do we have plans for dinner? If not I’m getting a pizza.”

“Well then, Caspar.” She said. “You better save some for our new housemate.”   
  
“They move in today!?” Caspar exclaimed, leaping out of his seat. Bernadetta winced at the sound of a complaint, until she realized it was excitement in his voice. Walking over, he stuck out his hand to her. “Yo, name’s Caspar.”

Taking his hand, she tried not to squeak at his firm grip as he shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.” He said, awaiting her response.

Being stared down made her uncomfortable, yet could sense no ill will in Caspar’s smile. It took Bernie awhile to realize what it was he was waiting. “Oh! My name uh… Bernadetta.” She told him.

The common room was pretty spacious. A couch overlooking a flatscreen. A kitchen area towards the back. Even an outdoor garden patio with plenty of plants. Upstairs were two hallways, one was the girls side and the other the boys side. 

Too tired to even think of climbing the stairs, Bernadetta opted to place her bag down and take a seat on the couch. As soon as she took her seat, a pair of arms seemed to rise from the couch as her seat moved around and someone mumbled something. Bernadetta shrieked in fright, springing to her tired feet as she turned around.

“Gah! I’m so sorry!” She apologized as a person sat up.

“Don’t worry about it, Bernadetta.” Edelgard told her. “Lindhardt, we’ve had talks about falling asleep on the couch.”   
  
“I was planning on waking up before you arrived.” He explained, finishing with a yawn.

“Oh please, when have you ever awoken on your own?” Edelgard teased.

“Caspar told me he would wake me up.” Lindhardt countered as he stood up, stretching his limbs.

“Oh yeah, I did say that.” Caspar said, walking toward the kitchen, avoiding Lindhardts eyesight.

Turning his head towards his friend, the student asserted “Well you didn’t.”

Caspar turned, a smirk telling it all. “I know.” He said.

From then on, Bernadetta decided it was best to not ever trust Caspar with anything. Whether it was a basic task, a secret, or just a reminder. She figured it would be best to retreat to wherever her room was. Being lead up the stairs, the girl was shown a plain room, a bed, a desk, and some basic furniture

This was her home now. It’s where she'll hide away from others for the next few years of her life while her minds in fright. The first thing she did was lie on the bed, knowing she’d better get used to the sheets. There was a feeling of unbelonging that ate away at her all day, and this room did nothing to ease her mind.

It was an hour of laying down when she finally decided it was best to unpack. Her clothes, her laptop, a bluetooth speaker, she even grabbed her sketchbook but forgot pencils. These were all she could take with her in a hurry, anything else was left behind.

She hadn’t even heard from her mom, she wanted to send a text telling her she was safe in her room, but the idea of what she could respond with made her not want to even bother. For now it was best accepting that she was truly alone, and that no one was coming to help her. All she could do was curl up in the sheets and sob silently to herself.

In a blink there was a knock on her door and when Bernadetta opened her eyes, she was taken aback for a moment at the lack of sunlight. When her eyes adjusted, she realized she had fallen asleep. Stumbling out of bed, she made her way to the door and opened it.   
  
Caspar stood there. “Heya.” He greeted. “I got some pizza, was wondering if you wanted any.” He asked.

Bernadetta checked both halls. No one else but them and she wasn’t sure if boys were allowed in the girls side of the dorms. There was an uneasy silence between the two as she looked back at him, who merely awaited for an answer with mild patience.

She hadn’t even had the strength to eat anything at all today, so there was no denying her stomach rumbling any longer.

“Come on, we won’t bite. Promise.” Caspar told her.

Following him downstairs, Bernie was greeted to Dorothea and another male student talking to each other in the kitchen. Caspar was quick in offering her a piece of pizza. 

“Oh hey there, Bernadetta.” Dorothea called out to her.

“Ah, you’re the new student we have.” He said as he approached her, holding out his hands. “I am Ferdinand Von Aegir.”

Bernie at least had the courage to shake it, but was put off by Caspar and Dorothea lip syncing his greeting to themselves before silently giggling and high fiving. “Uhm… hi.” She greeted meekly.

“Pleasure to meet you.” He responded.

It was minor, but the successful greeting was enough to make grin. Sitting at the table, she munched on pizza. Part of her wanted to take it to her room and eat it alone in private in her room, but the idea of ruining it so soon didn’t appeal to her.

Besides, despite her silence to them, it had been a while since it sounded like people didn’t mind having her around.

* * *

  
  


She purposely ignored her alarm that morning, she couldn’t find it in her to go back to sleep yet Bernadetta lay awake, staring off to the side of her bed. It was quiet, if there were students outside her window she paid them no mind. All she wanted to do was hide in her bed and wait until this chapter of her life was over.

“Bernadetta,” Edelgard knocked from the other side of her door. “Are you up?”

In her mind it felt demeaning to be checked on like an irresponsible kid, thought she couldn’t fault Edelgard. The house leader was smart, Bernadetta knew right away.    
  
“I understand this is all new and very jarring to happen all so suddenly.” Edelgard told her from the other side of the door. “I and the rest of the house will do what we can to make you feel safe and welcome here.”   
  
There was a smile on Bernadetta’s face, something she hadn’t expected so soon since coming here. Slowly did she lift her sheets and begin to crawl out of bed.

“But you will be coming with me to class today.” She asserted.

After hiding under the blankets, nearly pancing when Edelgard stepped in, Bernadetta was quick to get up, dressed and hurry downstairs. Aside from Edelgard, the only one there was a girl with violet hair reading at a table.

“Petra,” Edelgard called to her. “I don’t know if you two go the chance to meet last night but this is Bernadetta. She’s the new Black Eagles student.”   
  
“Ah,” Petra stood up. “I have many greetings for you.” She bowed. “Please apologies for my tone. English isn’t first for me.”

Bernadetta felt uneasy, not sure of what she could say in response. She had nothing against anyone foreign, just the fact that it’s already hard enough to talk to people enough as is. A language barrier was enough to unnerve.

“N-nice to meet you, Petra.” Bernie stammered out. Once the words left her mouth, Petra seemed to examine her for a moment. Mentally preparing herself for whatever verbal lashing she may have brought upon herself, she was shocked when all the girl did was smile to her and bow before leaving.

With just a banana to eat, Bernadetta’s nerves were at the usual all time high for her first day of college. Edelgard had promised to take her to her class, but even she seemed to have gotten preoccupied with her own ordeals, pacing back and forth as she typed on her phone.

Suddenly the air grew cold as stairs boomed with every step as a man descended them. While the very sight of him terrified Bernie, Edelgard seemed relieved to see him. “Edelgard, I’m here.” He announced to her.   
  
“Hubert, thank goodness.” She walked over to him, showing him her phone screen. “Can you take care of this today? I’m occupied today.”

When Hubert glanced at her, Bernadetta hung her head in shame. She was taking someone away from their responsibilities just to show them where class was. Avoiding his eyesight, she could feel his icy glare from across the room.

“I can handle it.” He simply stated to her as he walked off.

“Thank you.” She told him. To Bernie, the interaction was tense, a passive tone of unease in their voices. As Edelgard walked over she couldn’t help but resort to an old habit of trying to scoot away in her seat. “Don’t worry, he’s like that with everyone. He’s harmless, promise.” She told her.

While she had a hard time believing her, Bernadetta took the small amount of ease she had been provided as the two left the dorms. Their walk to class was quiet, Edelgard would ask an occasional question and Bernadetta would respond as quickly as she could.

“Do you have any hobbies?”

“Photography and sketching?”

“Oh well… do you post them online?”

“Yeah.”

Then there would be more silence. It hadn’t dawned on Bernadetta until they reached class that she was supposed to follow that up with something more. At least everyone else in the class seemed enthusiastic to see her, but they hadn’t just spent all morning try to get her to open up on the walk over.

She took her seat and waited for class to start, hanging her head down to avoid drawing any sort of attention to herself. This proved futile when another person walked over to her seat. There was another mental bracing for whatever they had to say, but instead they knelt down to her eye level.

“Hey,” Dorothea cooed to her. “You feeling alright?”

Bernadetta turned to her, ready to let loose. She had it with people giving her the patronizing child talk. Turning to Dorothea, all she was me with were patient eyes. They understood her frustration, and if she needed to vent. There wasn’t a reason to get mad, not yet at least. Those eyes hadn’t betrayed her yet.

“I just…” She started. “It feels like I’m a bit looked down upon here already.”

All Dorothea did was put a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I understand. We are all being overly nice to you since you’re new here. First days with new people are hard,” She sympathized. “But I promise you that you’ll find a place here.”   
  
Bernadetta raised her head as Dorothea stood back up. “I… thanks Dorothea.”   
  
In return, the brunette giggled, tilting her head. “No problem, let’s do our best today.” Reaching down, she took hold of her hands. “Okay, Bernie?”

Her eyes widened at those words. The way Dorothea beamed at her as she spoke, and the sound of her nickname in her voice made Bernadetta’s face go red. She couldn’t even remember the last time someone made her do that.

“I-yeah. Okay, Dorothea.” Her voice trembled.

* * *

  
  


Admittedly, in terms of academics Bernadetta didn’t know what she was so worried about. Professor Byleth happened to be a great teacher, and she always had decent grades in school. Walking on her own through campus wearing a confident smile, Bernadetta did her best to ignore whatever thoughts she had about the people around her. As of now, most of them weren’t true, so maybe the ones she had initially had about them weren’t true.

Just before she could select a song a familiar voice caught her ears. Removing her earbuds, she noticed a few people from yesterday conversing with each other.

“I’m just not confident in your ability to choose a comedy for movie night.” Ignatz argued.

“Iggie,” Claude specified. “You better not choose a nineteen twenties movie again. We don’t think Charlie Chaplin is as funny as you.”

“I understand that,” He replied. “I’m just saying it’s often considered to be high class and I thought we could use it.”   
  
“Okay, it’s current year.” Claude stated, making the girl next to him giggle in delight. “If you think me sitting my lazy ass on the common room couch, pizza in one hand, a bong in the other am watching Charlie Chaplin films like ‘Oh ho, I do say that lad is quite funny” Claude imitated, doing a best old rich person voice he could. “‘Quite an art form this fello does.”

Even as Ignatz laughed at his friends antics, he continued to argue. Bernie she should have stayed out of it and kept walking, but there was something about it that made her want to speak up.

“Have you guys seen Borat?” She called out to them, not really sure of what she done.

They turned and looked to her. “Did you say Borat?” Claude asked.

“Oh yeah,” Hilda agreed. ‘I’ve been getting you to watch that!”

“That’s right!” Claude declared. “Okay, movie decided. Done. Borat.”

“I know Claude gets his movie choice it’s always something… interesting.” Ignatz agreed, looking over at Bernadetta. “You’re new here, aren’t you? Need any help finding your way around campus?”

“Oh no,” Bernadetta instinctively took a step back, and when she caught herself reverting to her old habits she couldn’t help but laugh at herself. “I was just going back to my dorm. But… but thank you.” She told them.

The three were nice enough to say “welcome” to her as she departed. Making her way back to her dorm, Bernadetta kept to herself as she listened to music. Not a lot of people were around the house when she got there, save for Lindhardt napping at the kitchen table. Knowing it was out of her responsibility to awaken him, she headed up to her room.

Her room was already starting to look like a place she could call home. Pulling out her phone and aiming the camera at the window, Bernie took a photo she deemed “instagram worthy” as she got to work. Slap a few filters and edit the lighting to give it the Bernie deal of quality.

_ @BernieTrysArt: “Cause I’ve been aiming for Heaven above…” _

Posting the picture of her room with sunlight shining through the window and onto her desk, Bernie was surprised to see herself getting a notification. Turns out, her social media didn’t stay hidden for too long. Students like Edelgard, Caspar, and Dorothea had already followed her. There was even one called @GreengoblinSothy, figured a spam account.

Deciding it’d be best to figure out what her classmates were like, Bernie decided to investigate. Edelgard’s post were mainly selfies, not too many posts in general. Things like political statements, which made her role her eyes slightly, to selfies with classmates. Though the different hair colour in older photos seemed off putting in a strange way. Caspar was posts of him at the gym, pics of parties, she did enjoy the compilation of Lindhardt sleeping in odd places. 

At first Dorothea’s account was nothing special. Selfies, pictures of her singing, videos of her singing. Bernadetta admitted she was not prepared for the wonderful voice that the brunette possessed. But she kept scrolling, admiring the outfit she wore in a certain photo or noticing how beautiful she looked in a selfie she took. Also the ones where she was kissing, presumably, previous boyfriends and girlfriends bothered her for some reason.

And then she got to the beach trip pics. There Dorothea was, in photos in bikinis and other various swimsuits. It was clear the girl had a sense for fashion, as she showed off her body in several different swimsuits through the many posts. Her face was getting warmed as she crossed her legs, wanting to stop but not being able to bring herself to look away.

She followed her back before following the others back as well. Despite her circumstances, Bernadetta could feel that she’d like it at this school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw Petra was studying an English dictionary in this chapter
> 
> Next one is gonna be a big one. Stick around buckaroos.


	10. Bernie parties ass off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's gonna be fun

Her phone had been blowing up all day. Who’s gonna bring booze? Who’s house will host people who didn’t want to be at the party anymore? Did anyone get a hold of the “Flame Emperor” for pot? None of the messages were her concern however, as Bernadetta examined herself in the mirror. Her party look consisted of a black sweater and ripped jeans, and had actually applied effort in putting on eyeliner for the first time in her life.

It had begun, the two houses converged on the Black Eagles, taking their dorm over to host the years annual party. Alcohol was to be had, music was to be played, and laughs were to be shared and Bernie was going to be among them. The anxiety in her ran high throughout the day. She hardly had a chance to see any of her roommates as the day went by.

From the sounds of it, most of them were gathering downstairs as music began to play. She didn’t keep count on who’d be going and who wouldn’t. The number didn’t matter, a lot of people in a room at a party is still a lot of people to her. Though in her eyes, there were a few in this crowd she could trust.

She would make this her night no matter what. All of her friends were gathered in one place and nothing bad could happen, the girl had told herself. So far this year, they hadn’t done anything to make her question their intentions. For all she knew, the party would be a mellow get together of friends. 

It wasn’t like she ever got invited to them.

Opening her door open a little, Bernadetta listened to figure out how many people were down there. Years of practice taught when it was the best time to leave her room. However, she knew the sounds of people chatting over music would only grow as the night went on. Knowing it was now or never did she take her first steps out of her room.

Closing the door behind her, Bernie walked down the darkened hallway and towards the stairs. Making her way down slowly did the light of the common room emerge in front of her. She arrived to a scene of several classmates conversing amongst each other, many with drinks in their hands as music filled the room.

At first she didn’t know what to do with herself. Bernadetta’s head darted around as she wondered who to go to, where to go to, or if there was even a place for her to go to. The party environment frightened her as she backed away towards the stairs, wondering if it was best she just turn around and head right back to her room.

She scanned the room, Edelgard was talking to Dimitri and Claude, the former keeping a cigarette tucked in his ear. Rapheal and Ignatz were talking near a table filled with snacks and pizza boxes while Lorenz and Sylvian talked to Mercedes and Hilda. Dorothea chatted with Ferdinand and Hubert as Caspar handed them each a beer.

From first glance, it seemed everyone was already occupied, leaving no room for Bernie to join the party. All she could do was stare at Dorothea, modelo in hand, finest makeup on, donning a keyhole sweater, probably waiting for her boyfriend to show up. Though their eyes didn’t meet, Caspar could see the way his friend stared longingly at her. She was so lost in her looks that Bernie didn’t even see him approach her.

“Yo.” He greeted, startling her. His loud presence trying to cut through all the noise in the room.

“Gah!” She girl shrieked, before realizing she needed to compose herself. “S-sorry… hi Caspar.” Bernie greeted.

“You want anything?” He offered. “Someone brought a few cases of Mike Hard, I know you like those.”

“I’m… good for now.” The girl pondered. “Just uh…”

“She’s alone for now.” Caspar told her. “Go over and talk to her.”

“Oh, I don’t know. She’s probably expecting her boyfriend and-”

“Just say hi to her.” Caspar insisted, taking Bernie by the wrist and gently pulling her over.

“Wait, Caspar! Wait!” She tried to object.

Looking at her phone, Dorothea awaited for a response.  _ “Come on babe, you said you’d come.”  _ She had texted an hour ago. It had been like this, plans to meet up and then fall through moments before hand. Biting her nails, she was afraid of what was to come of this behavior for a while now. 

And when her phone buzzed with nothing more than an apology, and that they didn’t want her to beat herself up over this, she had her answer. Dorothea clutched the phone in her hand as she took a swig from her bottle. There was hopefully going to be enough alcohol to go around tonight once she was done.

Glancing up as she shoved her phone in her pocket, Dorothea wore a smile as Caspar dragged Bernadetta over to her. “Dorothy, this nervous girl wants to say hello.” He told her, making Bernadetta gasp in shock. All the brunette could do was giggle at her reaction.

“Hey there, you.” She greeted back. “You doing alright tonight?”

Bernadetta was getting tired of answering that question. Just because she joined a crowded party of drunk barely-adults doesn’t mean she wasn’t going to be not okay all of a sudden. But she knew it’d be best to answer with “Yeah, I’m doing fine.”

Dorothea grinned to her. “I’m glad you’re here, no one wants to do a shot with me.” She told Bernie, tilting her head to the side.

“Oh,” Bernadetta looked around, unable to take the hint. She scanned around the space, wondering who’d Dorothea would appreciate to get drunk with. “I-I mean… did everyone just walk off?”

Having to put a hand over her mouth as she snorted from laughter, Dorothea placed a hand on Bernie’s shoulder. “Do you wanna do a shot with me?”

“Oh!” Once the realization hit her, Benrie looked back to the brunette. “Uh… of what?”

“Well, that’s what I want to decide. Think you can help me?” Dorothea asked, holding her hands behind her back as she awaited an answer.

“Uhm… water?” Bernie suggested. She knew the answer wouldn’t be taken seriously, yet only wanted to prolong the inevitability of intoxication.

“Well if you don’t want to that’s fine.” Dorothea took her by the hand. “I don’t think I’ll remember a thing in the morning, on the other hand.”

Bernadetta couldn’t turn down having her hand held by Dorothea. While the comment of blacking out seemed odd, Bernie concluded it was a figure of speech. It also gave her some helpful advice, in the event of failure with interactions, drink heavily. Being brought over to the table, rows of plastic shot glasses were lined up. Dorothea was quick in finding a bottle of clear liquid. “I’m going with vodka tonight.” she poured her shot. “Anything you want to try? I think vodka maybe a little too much for you.”

“I can handle it.” She insisted. “Bernie’s strong.” The girl clenched her fists in determination, the act amusing Dorothea.

“Alright then, let me pour you a chaser.” She said, grabbing a red cup and pour some Gatorade. “Cheers, my friend.” She told her.

The two clinked the cups together and each leaned their head back. Nothing could have prepared her for the repulsive taste that made its way to her tongue. Only able to partially swallow before spraying the rest of the vodka out of her mouth. Bernadetta gagged and coughed and quickly took a swig from the cup.

Dorothea held her hand over her mouth. Her first shot was exactly like this, so she knew the experience. Taking her chaser, she walked over to Bernadetta and patted her head. “You good?” She asked between giggles.

Bernadetta gasped a little as she coughed some more. “Okay so… I wasn’t prepared for that.” She admitted.

“It’s fine.’ Dorothea told her. “My first shot was like that too. But hey, you did your first shot ever, right?”    
  
“Yeah,” Bernie nodded her head. “Thanks for… doing it with me, Dorothea.”

“Of course, Bernie.” The brunette told her, before pulling her friend into a tight hug. “I’m glad to be your first.”

Bernadetta’s eyes widened at her friends words before the realization that her face touched the “exposed” part of Dorothea’s sweater. Pulling away, Bernadetta could already feel her face burning as she stammered her words out. “Th-thanks… I’m gonna be around so you can- I’ll find you later.”

“Are you alright? My rooms open if you need a place to sit down and talk.” Dorothea explained.

“I’m good!” Bernie gave her a trembling thumbs up. “My room’s open too.” She told her. Turning around, her legs felt stiff as they carried her away, trying her best to not think about what she just said. “The alcohol is kicking in Bernie.” She told herself, knowing very well that wasn’t the case.

In her wandering through the crowded room on her own, Bernie managed to bump into another friendly face. Edelgard, styled with a side ponytail, leaned down to Bernie’s eye level. “Hi Bernadetta.” She greeted, giggling lightly. 

It didn’t take long for Bernie to figure something was off. “Hey there, Edelgard.” She greeted, slightly put off by her. Eye half lidded, they seemed to stare aimlessly through her. “You uh… having a good time?”

“Oh me? Yeah. Yeah I’m doing good.” She told her. “You, are you good? How are you?” Edelgard's voice struggled to reach above the music playing.

“I’m doing alright, I just took a shot with Dorothea.” Bernie told her, which despite her outcome, she was still optimistic over the interaction they had.

“Oh that’s great. We’re happy you’re here with us Bernadetta.” Edelgard told her. “You should hang out with her more tonight.” She said as she put a hand on Bernie’s shoulder. “She needs someone tonight.”   
  
Wha-what!?” Bernie squawked. “I-I mean, Myrmidon is on his way, right?”

Edelgard didn’t answer as the music was turned down. Her eyes were fixated on the figure that had just entered the room. Bernadetta turned around and was dumbfounded at who it was, with a majority of the room attention being drawn to them.

Byleth entered the room, looking around at all the students around him. Some seemed intimidated by him, a few were excited by his presence. It was a noticeable amount of time before Claude approached the professor. “Heya Teach.” He casually greeted, wearing a confident grin. 

“Hi there, Claude.” He greeted casually. “What do you guys have to drink around here?”   
  
“I would be delighted to show you.” He smiled, almost a little smug as he led Byleth to a series of coolers and the fridge.

“Wow, didn’t think the professor would show up.” Bernie commented. “Do you think someone invited him?” She asked Edelgard.

Turning over her shoulder, Bernadetta only saw her House leader focusing on straightening her ponytail. Looking over and not seeing her teacher, Edelgard looked back at Bernie. “I… I’m not sure.” She said, looking around. “Though I’m certain he might be here to inspect us. Maybe it’s best we stay on our best…” She looked over to see their teacher approaching them. 

“Edelgard, Bernadetta.” He greeted. “Glad to see you out tonight,” He told Bernie, which she took in stride.

“P-professor. How nice of you to join us.” Edelgard spoke, struggling to keep her posture still. “If there is anything tonight that you need, I am here to ask.” She claimed.

“Just Byleth, tonight.” He stated. “It’s not a scholar setting so I don’t mind, Edelgard.”

“Of course… Byleth.” Edelgard tried to break free of her formal composure. “N-now tell me… have you ever been to a party before?” She asked.

“Can’t say I have, just gatherings that my dad would take me to. Weren’t really for me. No one really my age was there.” He explained to her.

“Oh, and now there are people your age?” She attempted to pry, knowing very well she wouldn’t get an answer. All Byleth did was stare at her without contempt for the question. “Need me to show you around?” Edelgard asked.

Turning to her, without a twitch in his lips, Byleth’s eyes beamed to her. “I’d enjoy that.” He admitted.

“What is happening?” Bernadetta asked as they walked off together. What she saw wasn’t a normal Edelgard-Professor interaction. Two people, being open with each other, something Bernadetta herself wouldn’t have thought of as something she could experience with someone. Looking around, she deduced that not a single person here could stop here from having the feeling of sharing something with someone tonight.

Looking over, Dorothea chatted with Lorenz and Leonnie. She’d strike fast, moving in towards her target and establish a stronghold. Myrmidon wasn’t here, so it’d be Bernie that could be someone who Dorothea shares this night with. Making her way over, she took a breath and spoke up.

“Hey Dorothea.” she called out, right as the brunette finished a shot of tequila. Looking over, the girl recognized her friend. Without hesitation she pulled her into another hug.

“Hey you,” She ruffled her head. “Oh I’m so happy you’re here.” Dorothea said. “You’re having a good time, right?” she asked.

And that’s when Bernadetta caught it, Dorothea seemed to sway slightly on her feet. The way she spoke put her off and she seemed out of focus just like Edelgard was. If she kept this up, she would hardly be presentable by the time her boyfriend showed up. 

Yet it would be foolish to stop now while the night was young. “I’m having a great time.” She said, almost unprompted, hoping to distract her goal from anymore party favors. 

Dorothea gasped in surprise. “I’m so glad.” She said to her. “I was just about to go see what was going on in the patio space.” She leaned forward. “I hear Hilda brought a karaoke machine.” She whispered, very excited by the news. “Come with me, please?”

Bernie was ready to deject the very notion of going anywhere someone would try to get her to sing. But the words Dorothea told her, they made her feel more inspired than anything her parents had ever said to her before. “Y-yeah… I’ll come with you. I can’t sing, but I’ll go.”

Dorothea led Bernadetta by the hand through the party, parting their way through the crowd. Making their way to the patio, there a crowd sat, surrounding Claude as he held a microphone in his hand. Dorothea managed to claim an empty chair, pulling Bernie onto her lap and resting her chin on top of her head.

“I dedicate this song to a special someone,” He had told the audience, who thought Claude was being sincere as a few cheers rang out.

“Ah hell.” Hilda had dismissed in annoyance, making those around let out a few laughs.

The song began, and Claude wasted no time in belting out the lyrics to Don’t you want me.  _ “You were workin as a waitress at a cocktail bar.”  _ He sang out loud for the whole room to hear.  _ “When I met you!”  _ He reached out his arm, pointing directly to Dimitri, who was unsure if they should have been amused or dismayed, only flipping him off in return. The crowd erupted in cheers and laughter as Claude began to barrage the Blue Lion’s leader with affectionate signing.

_ “Don’t you want me baby!”  _ Claude sang proudly, Dimitri’s annoyance only driving the Golden Deer Leader further to sing louder.  _ “Don’t you want me? Oh!”  _ He continued, some of the crowd joining in. To further irritate the fellow house leader, Claude began to dance very flamboyantly towards him. As Dimitri buried his face in his hands, Sylvain appeared from behind Claude with a stack of napkins, making it rain on him for a brief moment before being pulled back to his seat by Mercedes.

Bernadetta held her hand over her mouth, trying her hardest to burst out laughing. Dorothea held nothing back, squeezing Bernie to her tightly as she could hardly contain herself. Claude leaned towards Dimitri, holding the microphone out to him.  _ “I, you were working as a waitress at a cocktail bar.”  _ He motioned Dimitri to join him, who refused.  _ “That much is true. But even then, I knew I’d find a much better place.”  _ He sang. 

_ “Those five years we have had have been such good times.”  _ Claude sang, with Dimitri leaning over and moving his lips slightly.  _ “I still lov-”  _ The blonde cut himself off, knowing Claude would take a sick joy in him singing those lyrics. It didn’t stop the crowd from erupting in cheers as Dimitri gave in and joined Claude in singing of the song, though refusing to stand up with him.

When it ended, Claude grabbed Dimitri by the hand, reluctantly joining him. Wasting no time, the Golden Deer leader scooped him up in his arms, carrying him bridal style in front of a good number of their classmates. “Look at us, see. The Three Houses love each other!” Claude proclaimed to the crowd. Edelgard quickly ran over as he kneeled down, letting her jump on his back. The trio held the pose for a solid two seconds before Claude lost his grip on Dimitri. “Fuck, Edie get off!” He hissed as Dimitri fell out of his arms.

The scene caused an uproar of laughter, one that Bernie couldn’t help herself over. Both her and Dorothea shared a laugh at the sight of their house leaders acting like a bunch of morons together. Claude had helped Dimitri up and the three had cleared the area briefly.

Clutching her phone, Bernadetta knew it was a moment she wanted to capture. Turning on the camera, Bernadetta tapped Dorothea’s hand around her waist to get her attention. The songstress idly chit chatted with Edelgard before Bernie managed to get her attention. All she did was show her the front camera on her phone for Dorothea to get the idea. Beaming into the camera, Bernie captured her friend giving a sweet, loving smile in the photo. 

She wonders if Dorothea knows how much this moment means to her. If the opportunity were to present itself, she’d have to try and let her know.

That was when the two were caught off guard with what they saw. Both Edelgard and Byleth had taken center stage together. Everyone in the crowd waited with bated breath as the music began. The two’s stiff chemistry melted away gradually as Edelgard began to sing. 

_ “I tried to do handstands for you.”  _ She sang out, watching Byleth as he watched her return.  _ “Everytime I fell on you. Every time I fell for you.”  _ She sang out towards her teacher, trying as much as she could to vy for his attention. Bernadetta watched the Edelgard she never met before sing to their professor. She wasn’t the greatest singer ever she had heard, but Edelgard had sincerity with every word she sang.

_ “I tried to do handstands for you but every time I fell for you.”  _ Her singing did catch the attention of Claude, who watched with great interest. He enthusiastically conversed with those around him, wondering if she could always sing like this.  _ “I’m permanently black and blue. Permanently blue for you!” _

As her voice reached its peak, everyone in the room fell silent. Claude’s jaw hit the floor, Dorothea covered her mouth to prevent herself from screaming out excitedly, while Berandetta was in awe. Byleth himself was taken aback by how Edelgard acted. The girl swayed her hips and danced to the rhythm. 

Byleth stared back at her, his features softened from the stern, deadeye stare he always gave. From the looks of it, he seemed to be enjoying himself as he sang along with Edelgard.  _ “I grabbed some frozen strawberries so I could ice your bruising knees.” _ He sang back. Several gasps rang out from the group upon the realization that the Black Eagles professor could actually sing.

The two looked into their eyes, both singing perfectly in sync with each other.  _ “I got bruises on my knees for you and grass stains on my knees for you.”  _ They bong sang, their voices low, as if for each other. Bernadetta watched them both, the atmosphere the two were able to create for each other, able to share a moment surrounded by others on their own. Gently did her fingers find her way around Dorothea’s hand, giving a brave squeeze, and her heart raced when felt one in return.

The song had ended, and Dorothea nearly leapt out of her seat. Bernie, understandably, moved for her friend to rush over and hug Edelgard. She could see that whatever mask her house leader wore earlier was fading, as the discomfort of what she had done was settling in.

Dorothea seemed to have preoccupied herself with gushing to Edelgard over her singing abilities, as well as their professors. It was as Bernie got close that the brunette swung her arm out, the bottle in her hand splashing it’s contents onto Bernadetta’s jacket.

“Oh shit!” Dorothea noticed what she had done. “I’m so sorry Bernie!”

“No, it’s fine.” Bernadetta insisted. “My uncle says that if someone spills their drink on you, it means they want you to take your clothes.”

“Really?” Dorothea pondered. “Am I gonna get a show?”

The words were caught in her throat so fast the Bernadetta could only laugh at herself as she stepped away. “I’ll go change real quick.” She said, trying to best leave before her face turned completely red. Dorothea was left with Edelgard, who’s eyes stared at the floor.

“Uncle…” The House leader pondered over.

Bernadetta rushed up stairs, passing along a short girl who was leaving the bathroom. Throwing her sweater off, she was left with just a bra on. Looking at herself in the mirror, there wasn’t much she wanted to hide. While this probably wouldn’t be the night to bare it all, nothing has told her to not hold back. As she went through her drawers, she decided on a loose fitting t-shirt, with a hoodie tied around her waist for if it got too cold. “Things are going great, Bernie.” She whispered to herself as the adrenaline coursed through her. So close to her crush, so close. “Myrmidon had his chance.” She hissed to herself. It wasn’t a good thing to be thinking, but after what she felt it didn’t matter tonight.

Exiting her room as before, as soon as the door was closed behind her did some footsteps caught her attention. Looking over, Bernadetta was surprised to see Flayn walking down the hallway. The girl, having noticed Bernadetta, only whispered “don’t tell my dad I’m here.”

Only confused by her statement, Bernadetta followed her back stairs as the girl snuck through the crowd. Her eyes darted all around but there was no Dorothea in sight, or Edelgard, not even any of the three house leaders. Seemed odd for them to have dissipated in the time she was gone. 

Noticing the front door slightly ajar, Bernadetta poked her head outside to find Dimitri smoking a cigarette while talking to Annette and Lindhardt, the former hitting a vape pen. The trio didn’t notice her as she looked around, no Dorothea in sight. Shutting the door, she turned to see Petra behind her, standing idly. 

“Oh hey, Petra.” Bernadetta called to her. “Have you seen Dorothea?”

“Bernadetta.” She greeted. “ **I am having a great time, tonight. I have not seen the girl you so blatantly crush on.** ”

Bernie looked back at her, puzzled. “Huh? What are you saying?” She asked, leaning her ear towards her.

“ **What do you mean? I’m speaking perfectly fine.** ” Petra repeated, again in native tongue.

All Bernadetta could do was look around to see if anyone could translate what she was saying. Instead, all Bernadetta did was try not to come off too awkward as she patted her friends shoulder and walked away. Looking around, she figured maybe Dorothea had gone back up stairs.

In the hallway, it seemed like no one was in their rooms, just as she had left it. Though a muffled sound from one of the rooms caught her attention. Without even thinking she turned the knob and opened the door. There Edelgard was, head buried in Byleth’s chest as she sobbed quietly. The sight made Bernadetta stop in her tracks, as she watched her usually stern but inspiring leader cry. Looking at her professor, he looked back at with soft, yet concerned feature. As he tilted his head at Bernadetta to leave, she could see the eyes of someone who had no idea what to do for the person in their arms.

Gently closing the door behind her, Bernadetta tried her best to shake off the scene she had witnessed. Now she needed a quiet place to recover, which was gonna be hard to find. She didn’t feel like going up the stairs and being near the site of her house leader. The sounds of the main common area were too jarring for her as her eyes scanned the crowd for a familiar face to hold on to.

As she backed herself to the wall, she noticed the door to the basement had a light shining underneath it. Quickly entering, she closed the door behind her as the sounds of the party began to drown out in favor for the voices she heard inside. At the very least, it was somewhere quiet where she could de-stress before returning. All she could hope was that whoever was down here wouldn’t expect her to talk to much.

It was as she descended the stairs that a skunky, burnt smell reached her nose. Repulsed at first, curiosity got the better of her as she made her way down to find Caspar, Ashe, Sylvain, Claude, and Hilda all seated in the circle. The air around them was hazy with smoke as they noticed her.

“Hey, Bernie.” Caspar called out. “How’s it… you good? Everything good?”

She wanted to tell him of their house leader sobbing in her room upstairs, but Bernadetta knew the whole mood would be ruined. Besides, she had faith in her professor to take care of her.

“I’m… doing alright.” She said. As the night went on and she got closer, it started to occur to Bernie that she was probably the most sober one here. 

“You wanna take a seat, you don’t have to partake but we’re happy to have you here.” Claude told her, offering her an empty fold out chair.

“Thank you,” Bernadetta told him, taking a seat. “Uhm, partake in what, exactly?”

Her answer came as Hilda sparked a lighter, holding it to a colorful pipe as she inhaled and exhaled some smoke into the air. “We’re getting baked.” She told her.

Bernadetta felt uneasy in her seat after that, though she didn’t show it. She had never been around marijuana before. Outside of school, her parents never seemed to talk to her about things like drugs or alcohol. It had been appealing to her to hear that people in high school did it so casually, let alone college. That said, it wasn’t like curiosity didn’t get the better of her.

“It is fine if you don’t want to, it’d be wrong to give into the peer pressure of doing drugs.” Claude told her, taking the pipe from Hilda before lighting it himself. “It’s bad, ya know.” He talked, blowing smoke before coughing the rest out. Examining the pipe, he emptied it’s contents onto his hands before rubbing them together. “One more bowl for the night?”

“I’m game.” Caspar responded from beside Bernie. “Can I hit green?”

“I haven’t hit green all night.” Hilda whined to the group.

“That’s because you have your own stash, don’t be greedy.” Claude lectured her. Handing the pipe over to Caspar, he leaned back in his chair and looked over. “Ashe, you good?” He asked.

“None more for me thanks. Wasn’t quite sure what I’d feel like for the first time.” The boy responded, his eyes pink as he held onto his chair.

Bernadetta looked back at Caspar, who leaned his head back as he blew smoke into the air. “So I heard about Edelgard singing? Anyone get video?”   
  
“I didn’t.” Sylvian told him, taking the pipe. “I was amazed by what I was seeing, I will say that.”

“Dude, the professor, and Edelgard Von Hresvelg, singing together.” Claude exaggerated. “I literally thought I was astral projecting into a fantasy world. It was something I never knew I needed until that moment.” Claude said. 

“Bernadetta, do you want to try it?” Sylvain offered.

There it was, like so many bad anti drug movies. A pipe packed with weed held in front of her, offered by a man with questionable intentions, Sylvain. Taking the pipe, Caspar leaned over, instructing her on how to do it. “Just hold your thumb here, light the lighter,” He told her, with Bernadetta lighting the bowl with ease. “There you go you got it.”

While Hilda and Claude talked in the background, Bernadetta inhaled as smoke coursed into her lungs. Holding it for a moment, she began to gently exhale.

“But even then, still.” Hilda spoke a mile a minute, with Claude relatively able to understand it. “I’m wondering if something’s going on between them, see. Cause like, I’m that bitch, right. I wanna know.”

“Oh yeah, she totally was giving her professor the fuck me eyes. She was thristin for him.” Claude casually stated.

Her calm exhale turned into a hacking cough as Bernadetta’s eyes teared up. Caspar, thinking fast, handed her a bottle of water he had. Taking a few sips, Bernadetta was able to recover.

“Wanna fucking repeat yourself?” Caspar accused the group.

“Dude, you weren’t there.” Claude continued. “If you saw them, you’d know.”

“Did you see it Bernie? You were there, right?” Hilda asked.

“Uh… I didn’t really notice.” She said, looking at her feet. “I wasn’t really paying attention.” Truth be told she didn’t know what she saw between them, other than it being something she wanted to share with a person.

“This girl, sitting on Dorothea’s lap, not able to pay attention. Wow I’m shocked.” Claude said with a grin.

Bernadetta handed over the pipe to Hilda quickly, her cheeks glowing red. From beside her, Caspar had bust out laughing. She sent a few side glares his way, wondering what he was gonna say next.

“Everything alright there, friend?” Sylvain called out. “You good?”

“No… it’s just…” Caspar tried to explain.

“Just chill dude.” Claude told him. “No going apeshit tonight.”

“I never do.” Caspar’s voice wheezed. “Don’t bring up when we play video games.” He pointed at them.

“Okay then fine.” Claude said, rejecting Hilda’s offer for the pipe. “I mean I can’t blame Edie. Your guy’s professor is hot,” He looked to Sylvain and Ashe. “And so is yours.” He looked back to the group, shaking his head. “Ours isn’t.”

Bernadetta had taken the pipe when she burst into a fit of giggles, keeping her mouth closed the whole time. As the others laughed, she tried to light the pipe, but seemed to be unable to shake the urge to keep giggling. It took her awhile before she calmed down long enough for a hit before passing it over.

“What, don’t have a thing for gilfs?” Caspar asked, laughing to himself

“I would, but personality is key.” Claude explained. “So you can imagine how big of a turn off Mr. Hanneman is.”   
  
Ashe chuckled to himself. “I wouldn’t worry too much, aside from Sylvain here, no one really tries to get with Ms. Manuela.”   
  
“Screw you, Ashe. I have not.” Sylvain countered, hardly lifting his middle finger at him. “I will not stand for lies.”

“You once purposely failed a test in hopes she'll keep you after class.” The boy retorted. 

"Bwaha!” Claude kneeled over in his chair. “Did you think you were in a porn or something?”

The group shared a laugh at Sylvain’s expense, Bernadetta joining in. As it died down, the girl felt like chiming in with “I mean, she is hot. I couldn’t see her being a teacher.”

“No, see, thank you.” Hilda responded. “You look at her and you’re like “you’re too trashy to be a teacher, sit on my face.”

Bernadetta burst out in laughter that seemed harder to control. Her lungs ached slightly as she struggled to catch her breath. It wasn’t just that Hilda was funny, it’s that she agreed with her. If Dorothea were to run off with Manuela then Bernadetta would probably be unsure of who to be jealous of.

“I mean sure. When I first saw Teach Byleth, my first thought was “damn you’re pretty.” Claude told the group. “I mean those features, stunning eyes, emotionless attitude.” He took a quick hot off the pipe. “I can see why Edelgard wants to stay late at his class.”

A brief memory of all the times she saw Edelgard talking to her teacher after class, it almost made Bernie want to say something. Though given how she saw her last house leader, and the fact that she herself wouldn’t appreciate others making jokes about her feelings.

“I mean he’s hot.” Hilda agreed. 

“Everyone here is.” Claude spread his arms wide, giggling to himself. “Aren’t we all just some beautiful fucking people or what?” He told the group, his eyes going half lidded.

The group chuckled at Claude’s over-optimism. “Thank you Claude.” Sylvain thanked.

“Yeah bro, thanks.” Caspar told him.

“I’m glad I could spread love amongst you all.” Claude told them. “Speaking of, who wants to head upstairs and spread to everyone else that’s here?”

The group emerged from the basement, a wave of smoke behind them. The parties number had diminished noticeably, with the room more vacant than before. Looking around, Bernadetta felt her heart sank a little at the thought of Dorothea having already left. She scanned the room, only noticing a lonely Marianne standing in the corner.

She almost didn’t have time to notice the usual lack of hesitation that Bernadetta would normally exercise when approaching someone. “Hey Marianne.” She had called out.

“Oh, hi there Bernadetta. How are you doing?” The girl, still as timid as ever even with a drink in her hand.

“I’m doing…” Bernie stopped for a moment to ponder. For some reason, the question made her giggle. “Doing just fine…” She said, dragging her voice out.

“That’s… great.” She responded, trying to not appear put off by her behavior. “Have you seen Hilda anywhere?”

“Oh Hilda? Yeah…” The girl responded, turning over her shoulder briefly. “She was… I was just with her in the…” She didn’t know why she had to think so hard over this. “The basement, yeah. I just saw her so she shouldn’t be too far off.”

Their answer came when a bubbling sound rang through the room. Looking over, Edelgard ripped from a bong before handing it over to Dorothea. The two sat on the couch, laughing with one another. 

“What the fuck, Edie.” Claude called out, approaching them alongside Hilda. “You could have told me you had a bong.”

Blowing the smoke into the air, she looked back at him. Bernie couldn’t help but notice that most of Edelgards makeup had ran off, and her side ponytail had been undone. Her appearance, with given context, was slightly off putting for her. “The professor is gone.” Her voice croaked. “Let me get fucked up.”

“Hey,” Claude raised his hands. “I’m not calling you out for that.” He told her.

Hilda leaned in. “Can hit that?”

“Sure.” Edelgard responded.

Dorothea motioned for Edelgard to lean over to her. As she took her bong rip, she grasped the sides of her house leaders face and held it in place. Blowing smoke into her mouth, Edie closed her eyes and inhaled it as well. Taking advantage of her friends lack of sight, the burnette leaned in and planted a quick kiss on her lips. Gasping in shock, Edelgard only squealed in delight alongside Dorothea as the two broke out in a fit of giggles.

Bernadetta’s lips parted at the sight. Her cheeks burned and her mind raced at the idea of sharing a kiss, even platonically with Dorothea. Letting the brunettes lips brush against hers, sharing a laugh with her, leaning in for another, this time deeper. Edelgard could have turn, but only after Dorothea.

Looking back at Marianne, she took the girl by the wrist. “I found Hilda.” She proclaimed to her as she pulled her along. Berandetta’s grip was able to withstand the girl’s weak attempts to get away. The two approached the girls sitting on the couch. “Hey there Hilda, Marianne’s been wanting to talk to you all night.”

While the girl yelped in shock and covered her face, Hilda was more than happy to see her friend. “My Mari!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air as smoke blew out of her mouth and nose. “I’m so glad you’re here. Hey, ever tried weed?”

As the two conversed, Bernie turned her attention elsewhere. Dorothea talked with Edelgard, hardly coherent in her speech. Her friend was full on drunk, but Bernadetta didn’t care. “Hey Dorothea.” She said to her.

“Bernie!” Dorothea turned towards her friend and pulled her into a hug. “I’m so happy you’re here.” She told her, holding her tight. “I needed someone like you here.” she whispered, her speech heavily slurred. “You wanna be my smoking buddy?”   
  
She past the point of no return, tomorrow morning was going to hurt. Yet, Bernadetta’s lack of knowledge other told her otherwise. Plus, she knew better than to try and talk someone out of drinking less at a party. “I-I mean yeah…” Bernie stammered over her words, giggling all the while.

The way she took the bong, Bernadetta seemed all to a little to eager. It’s as she flicked the lighter that she realized she had no clue what she was doing. The gears in her head turned as she looked at Dorothea. “Mind helping me with this?” She asked. “Please do it the way you did it with Edelgard.”

Taking it from her, Dorothea had inhaled the smoke in about ten seconds. Bernadetta leaned in so close as she stuck her lips out as the smoke blew from her lungs. Inhaling it in, Bernie leaned closer and closer with her lips reaching for Dorothea’s.

Her breath being caught in her throat, Dorothea turned away to save her friend from the coughing fit she was sent into. All Bernie did was turn around, blushing profusely at what she had just tried to do. Perhaps its best she not push her luck just that far.

Finding a water bottle nearby, Dorothea took a few swigs. “Fuck I need to cut myself off.” She said, throwing the bottle to the ground. All Bernie did was lean back on the couch, giggling to herself as she tried her best to make out the song playing on the speakers. 

“Hey Dorothea?” Hilda called out, leading Marianne over with her. “You don’t mind if we go to your room for a bit right? We need somewhere quiet for right now.”   
  
“Oh yeah! Sure. You girls go right on ahead.” She told them. “Take all the time you need.”

The pair left quickly, but Bernadetta couldn’t help at catching a look at Marianne. From the way her knees shook to how she seemed to grasp at her head. She couldn’t help but feel a slight twitch of guilt in her. All she could do was hope Hilda could take care of her.

Her thoughts were drawn elsewhere by Dorothea, who helped herself to laying her head on Bernie’s lap. Before the girl could speak up, the brunette seemed to cradle her thighs as she nuzzled them. “I’m so sleepy…” She said, rolling over to look up at the girl. “You don’t mind if I sleep here do you?” She teased. “Kidding…” Her voice slurred.

“I-I mean…” The girls face flushed. This wasn’t flirting, was it? She was certain Dorothea had a boyfriend… still? At the same time, if she was willing to kiss Edelgard suddenly out of what appeared to be platincy, then this was probably just of level of affection that Dorothea gets with her friends.

As she gently placed a hand on her friend's head and gently scratched her scalp, Bernie figured she could live with this, as Dorothea smiled in return. Closing her eyes, Bernadetta leaned her head back against the couch as she giggled in delight some more. Between succeeding in social situations with friends, to trying recreational drugs, she already had quite a story to tell even without Dorothea. Looking down at her, she felt confident in saying that they’d share one together.

That was when someone yelling caught her attention. Caspar threw his arms in the air as he looked at Sylvain. “He can go fuck himself!” He yelled. “Tired of that asshole! Always acting like he owns the fucking house.” 

“Yo man chill,” Sylvain tried to reason. “Ferdinand ain’t here.”

“No!” Caspar retorted, looking back at him as he struggled to keep his balance. “Fuck Ferdinand. Fuck Von Aegir. Fuck Ferdinand and Von Aegir at the same time!”

“Aye!” Ferdinand called out from across the room. “The fuck you going about?”

“You know damn well what I’m going on about.” Caspar yelled back.

“Dudes, chill out.” Claude tried to disarm the tension between them. “I understand there might be some unresolved feelings between you two but maybe we can wait till later to solve this.”

“Suck my dick, Claude!” Caspar yelled back. “Got people here trying to start shit here and I won’t have it!”

“Fuck you Caspar, I’m not doing shit wrong you’re just mad.” Ferdinand argued back.

Dorothea had stood up and made her way over, Bernie not far behind. They joined the group of students left as Claude retreated from the two. “It looks like the hoes are mad.” He commented out loud, making the brunette giggle in delight.

“Hoes are mad, hoes.” She tried calling out.

“You can shut the fuck up Dorothea.” Caspar pointed at them.

His intense glare was enough, Bernadetta took her friend by the hand and pulled her away as she kept calling out to them. The girl’s intoxication levels were extremely high for this party, which was starting to wind down anyways. Taking her up the stairs, Bernadetta tied her best to control Dorothea’s antics.

“Okay, we need to get you to your room.” Bernadetta tried to explain to her, but all Dorothea did was speak gibberish, swaying side to side like she was out on the sea.

Making her way down the hall, Bernadetta stopped at Hubert leaving Edelgard’s room. “She’s out for the night.” He told her. 

“Is everything alright?” Bernadetta asked, forgetting about her friend as she wandered past them.

“Yes… it seems the professor consoled her.” He stated, looking to the ground. “I’ll have to interrogate him at a later time.” Hubert told her, looking back. “I can see you’ve had your share of fun.”

“Uh…” Bernadetta tried to reason, but with her eyes red, there wasn’t really an argument to be had. Besides, Hubert was going to hurt her, he just always looks like that to everyone who isn’t Edelgard. “I mean… yeah I did.” 

Walking past her, Hubert placed a hand on her shoulder before heading down to the common area. As the sounds of shrieks of terror were heard behind her, Bernadetta tried to move through the hallway. “Dorothea? Dorothea where are you?” She called out.

Emerging from the bathroom, Dorothea looked over. “Oh hey, you. I was looking for you.” She told her.

“In the bathroom?” Bernadetta asked, finding her friends state to be funny. “I uh…”

“Come on, you.” Dorothea beckoned her over as she grabbed the knob on her bedroom.

“Oh no.” Bernadetta’s face flushed. Wherever this was going to go, Bernie might not have been ready for it. “We don’t need to do that uh…” Looking over, the sink still ran in the bathroom. Rushing to turn it off, Bernadetta turned the water off only to be met with the sound of someone screaming.

“Dorothea, get out!” Hilda hissed at her.

“Oh my gosh you guys.” Dorothea cupped her cheeks in excitement as Bernie hurried over. As she ushered the brunette away, she happened to catch a glance of Marianne covering her face as Hilda tried to get up from the floor, her sweater pulled up over her chest and her pants undone. 

Closing the door quickly, Bernadetta took Dorothea by the hand and led her to her room. “We’re gonna rest in my room, okay?” She told her. There wasn’t time to lament over the fact that she got to invite her crush to spend time in her room, and chances are she’d hardly remember it.

Entering the room and closing the door behind them, Bernie motioned Dorothea to have a seat on her bed. The brunette opted to instead lie down, cuddling a pillow to her face. “Do you need some water?” Bernadetta asked her.

“I need… someone…” Dorothea moaned out. “I don’t have anyone…” 

That statement only confused Bernadetta. Dorothea, of all people, had no one? Despite having a boyfriend, and girlfriends you could platonically kiss, and still say no one was here for her. She wanted to ask, but Dorothea had stood up on the bed, pulling her sweater over her head.

Bernie yelped and covered her eyes as her friend stipped to her undergarments. Even in the darkened room, Dorothea donned a black lacy bra and panties to match, lying on Berandetta bed. “Please Bernie… I need you.” She called to her.

She couldn’t resist her if she tried. Bernadetta looked back at her for a few moments, contemplating what would happen. Untying her sweatshirt from her waste, Bernie undid her pants and slid them off before grabbing her t-shirt. Yet she couldn’t take it off, she wasn’t ready for that yet regardless.

Climbing into bed, Bernie feared what Dorothea might possibly do now. As the brunette wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close, she was still reluctant to return the favor. But when all was heard was Dorothea’s heavy breathing, the smell of alcohol and weed in the air, Bernie finally wrapped her arms around her friend as she closed her eyes.

As she drifted off, Bernadetta had one thing on her mind. Alcohol and weed rule when it led to things like this.

* * *

  
  


That morning, if it was still morning, wasn’t too much of a rude awakening at first. When Bernadetta awoke, she was met with a dry mouth and a minor headache. She groaned and tried to sit up, only to be weighed down.

Dorothea, in all of the mess she made of herself the previous night, was still the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Her chocolate brown hair flowed flawlessly, her face soft as she breathed softly. Looking down, Bernie tried her best to not perv on what was exposed to her, yet couldn’t help herself for just a moment. Pulling herself closer, Bernadetta gently nuzzled against the girl in her bed, taking in her scent and how warm she felt.

The sound of groaning met her ears, and she looked up, awaiting the first words Dorothea would tell her this morning. As she opened her eyes, the girl groaned deeply in pain. “Bernie… detta?” She asked, wondering where she was.

“H-hey… good morning.” Bernie told her, trying to keep her voice as soft as possible.

“Move.” Dorothea told her, forcing her mouth closed and swallowing.

“Huh?”

“Move now.” Dorothea told her again, this time her tone more panic stricken.

Bernadetta hurredly hopped out of bed as Dorothea bolted out of her room and down the hall. She wanted to be heartbroken until the sound of retching could be heard from the bathroom. Following her, Bernie was met with the site of her crush huddled over a toilet, puking out the content of last night. The girl groaned in displeasure as she continued.

Having to hold her hair, Bernie was tasked with comforting her near naked friend in the bathroom for a while. The two hardly had time to exchange any words between each other all the while. Eventually Dorothea requested a band to tie her hair up. Returning to her room, Bernadetta grabbed that along with her phone.

As she gave Dorothea the hair tie, Bernie left her alone to check her phone. Turns out, it was a quarter past ten and Claude had been blowing up the shared group chat.  _ “Hello Black Eagles house. I am requesting permission to enter your domain. I am right outside.” _

Finding it odd that he was texting for permission, Bernadetta hurried down the stairs. The common area was quite a mess, bottles all over the table, with Caspar passed out on the couch and Sylvain and Felix hanging out in the kitchen.

“Here’s to another great party.” The two toasted, drinking a bottle of Mike’s Hard. How they were able to handle more alcohol was beyond her.

Opening the door, Claude entered, carrying a case of water in one hand and gatorade in the other. “Hello.” He spoke, his voice purposely hushed and soft. “Hangover Doctor Claude has arrived.” He said, carefully stepping inside the house. 

Bernadetta stepped aside as he entered. Right as she wanted to tell him of the dire situation Dorothea was in, a groan sounded as Caspar raised himself up on the couch.

“What’s going on…” He moaned out, before looking. “Oh, what the fuck? When were you here?”

“I’m sorry,” Lindhardt apologized. “I don’t recall inviting you to sleep here.”

“Dude, I don’t even remember seeing you down here.” He told him. “You good? Fuck, are our pants still on?” He asked, checking below their belts. “Okay, we’re good.”

Claude, suppressing a laugh, walked over. “You, my friend.” He handed them a water bottle. “Need to relax with drinking next time.”

Caspar groaned in dismay. “Oh no, I didn’t do what I think I did, did I?”

“Yeah,” Claude nodded. “You wanted to fight everyone, and also used some words that frankly, I don’t think Petra gave you permission to use.” He said.

Despite wanting to laugh, Bernie knew there were more important things to tend to. Tugging Claude on his sleeve, the house leader turned around. “Hey there Bernadetta. Some night, huh?” He asked, as she nodded in agreement. “Love the look.” He stated dryly.

Yelping as she pulled her shirt down. “Uh, Claude. Dorothea is hungover… it’s bad.”

“Oh yeah. That girl was fucked up last night.’ He agreed. “Here, take these to her. I got people passed out here that I need to rescue.” Claude told her.

Taking both a water and gatorade up the stairs, Bernadetta found Dorothea sat against the wall, holding her head. Approaching her timidly, Bernie set them on the ground, the brunette sighed in relief. “Oh thank god.” She said as Bernadetta twisted the caps on both of them. “Just what the doctor ordered.” She moaned out.

Swishing the water around before spitting it out into the sink, Dorothea leaned back and sighed. “Fuck… fuck…” She groaned.

“I’m… I’m here for you if you need me.” Bernadetta told her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Thanks Bernie…” She told her, catching her breath. There was a moment of silence between them before she looked over. “Why...was I in your bed this morning?”

The breath in her throat ceased for a moment, as Bernadetta seemed to not want to meet Dorothea’s eyes. “Did we… did I make you do something?” All Bernie did was shake her head. “Bernadetta,” Dorothea pleaded. “If I did something you didn’t want me to then you need to tell me.” The brunette told her. “Please, it’s okay. I don’t blame you for anything, just tell me.”

“You were..” Bernadetta started. “You were pretty drunk and… and someone was in your room. You let them stay.” She explained. “So I took you to my room but you stripped down and laid on my bed. You-you told me you wanted me to stay so… I did.”

The silence between them was brief, but for Bernie it seemed to go on for an eternity. Staring at the floor, it was the distinct sound of sobbing that made her look up. 

Dorothea wept into her arms. “I’m so sorry Bernie…” She told her. “I… I didn’t mean to put you through that.” She tried to explain. “I just… I was so lonely last night. He didn’t even want to break up with me in person.” She cried.

Bernadetta felt her heart sank. Poor Dorothea, dumped on the night of a party with friends. No wonder the girl drowned herself in alcohol and pot last night, the pain of this was better than what she felt at the time. And now, all the repressed sorrow was coming out. 

“I… I used my friends to forget about him, I got shit faced and made things worse.” She continued to bawl. “And now my head hurts.” She cried out some more, tears and mucus running down her face.

Hurrying to her side, Bernadetta pulled her friend into a hug as she continued to cry some more. The two didn’t share any words, not even with the passerby of the bathroom. She just held her, rubbing her back as she continued to sob.

Eventually calming down, Dorothea drank more of the gatorade. “I just… am so afraid of being alone forever.” She started to explain. ‘My… my foster parents. They’re old. I can’t deny the fact that they won’t be here forever.” She turned to look at Bernadetta. “And when they’re gone, who will I have left.”

“Dorothea…” Bernadetta started.

_ Tell her, Bernie. Tell what you mean. _

“You… will never be alone.” She said. “You… are a wonderful girl, and one of the nicest people I’ve met since coming here. And…”

_ I love you. _

“You will find someone…”

_ Damnit Bernie, no! _

“Who will treat you, and love you the way you need to be loved.”

_ It can be me, can’t you see?” _

“There is someone out there, who will see you as an angel in their lives, that you can enrich and make better, as they will for you.”

_ Angel, please don’t go. _

Dorothea sniffled, looking over to Bernie. The girl forced a genuine smile to her. “Thank you Bernadetta… you’re the best.” She said.

When she returned to her room, Bernadetta punched her pillow. The hardest she had ever hit something before. The anger she felt, the fact that she was right there, and couldn’t give Dorothea what she wanted, what she needed. Just a hopeless girl with hopeless feelings.

Tears streamed down her face, and she came to the conclusion. Alcohol and weed were horrible if it led to something like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact, that basement scene was the first scene I had ever written for this story. The original version has since been deleted, but it's something I've wanted to write for a while now.
> 
> Also yes, the song that inspired the name for this story is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8HRCacAQ-4
> 
> I'm not going to tag "don't you want me" because everyone should know that song
> 
> Sadly the one thing that didn't make it through edits was Claude following up Hilda's "I'm that bitch" statement, so don't be surprised if I squeeze it into a future chapter


	11. Bonus Chapter: Marianne and Hilda’s night in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gayer than a renault clio ad

Marianne Von Edmund had never been to a party before. She never really had the chance to be exposed to this side of young adult socializing in her time. Up until she came to GMU, most of her nights were spent inside away from most people. Now here she was, a cup of whatever in her hand as she watched the night go on. All throughout the night, she had kept her distance, only observing the activities of her friends and classmates. Though she hadn’t been here for too long, she admitted that seeing the sights of those she had gotten close to interact with each other and have fun, even if she found the methods to be questionable. Her father never taught her anything about alcohol or drugs, while her adoptive father seemed to partake in a number of vices, only telling her to “enjoy them responsibly” when she got older. While he never did tell her what “responsibly” meant other than don’t drive, her only guess was to partake in a slow rate.

Hilda Valentine Goneril had lost count of the amount of parties she’s been to. Being the social butterfly she was known to be, it was natural that she'd be drawn to events like these. All throughout high school the girl would attend as many parties as she could. She had lived several adult milestones through them, first time drinking and smoking, losing her virginity, and her first hangover are just a few that the girl could think of. While not every one she went to had people with the best intentions on their mind, tonight was one where she could trust the people she was with, a chance to let loose.

So when she had smoked two bowls with her friends down in the houses basement, it was only natural she keep going. Getting stoned was one of her favorite hobbies, a trait Claude correlates with her laziness, rightfully so. The sight of a bong that Edelgard pulled out made her eyes light up as she sauntered over.

“Can I hit that?” She asked.

“Sure.” Edelgard responded nonchalantly, as if to get Hilda off her back.

Once it was on her hands, Hilda sat on the floor right by the couch. Sparking the lighter, she inhaled the smoke as Bernadetta approached her. The lavender haired girl, in her stoned stupor had dragged along Marianne with her as well. It wasn’t hard for Hilda to know that Marianne looked slightly uncomfortable on the outside. 

“Hey there Hilda, Marianne’s been wanting to talk to you all night.” Bernie told her. Before she could even respond to her, she ran off to Dorothea.

“My Mari!” Hilda threw her hands into the air in excitement, smoke blowing out of her mouth and nose. “I’m so glad you’re here. Hey, ever tried weed?”

The question through the blue haired girl off, seeming to stop where she was as soon as she was asked. “Uhm… can’t say I have.” She admitted to Hilda.

“Oh well, that’s okay.” Hilda told her, passing the bong along to Bernadetta. “How have you been?”

“I’m doing well…” The girl answered.

Huffing in annoyance, Hilda reached out and grabbed the girl’s hand, making her gasp in surprise. “Come on, I want to talk more with you but you don’t make it easy for me.” She told her. “Sit with me, let’s talk about stuff.” The girl told her.

Marianne yelped slightly at the sensation of her hand being grabbed, yet complied with her as she sat down. “Sorry… I don’t usually attend these sort of things.” She explained.

Yet Hilda looked at her with a look of patience. “Don’t apologize.” She shook her head. “It distracts from something better.” The girl told her. “If it’s your first party, you gotta tell me what you think?”

“Well…” Marianne looked at the floor, gathering her thoughts. “I-I wasn’t expectant on everyone being nice here. I haven’t been pressured to do anything, I thought parties were supposed to be dangerous.”

“Hell nah.” Hilda disagreed with her. “Most parties I’ve been to been laid back and chill.” She told her, leaning her head against the cushion of the couch. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it once.”

There wasn’t an immediate response, as Marianne scanned the room. It was nearly as populated as it was when she first got here, yet it seemed everyone was relaxed and winding down. With Dimitri being absent now, Edelgard trying her best to not pass out on the couch, it seemed Claude had the most energy in the room, something everyone expected. Not much seemed out of place to her, as she looked back at Hilda.

“Y-you know… if you show me how, I’ll try it… if you don’t mind.”

Hilda looked over to see Bernadetta and Dorothea giggling with each other next to a passed out Edelgard. Just as Hubert arrived and picked her up, she succeeded in confiscating her bong as before the Black Eagles leader was carried off to bed. Checking the bowl to see some still left in there, while testing the lighter. “Here,” She handed it to her. “I can light it, you just need to inhale deeply.”

“Oh uhm… like…” Marianne struggled, never thinking she’d do anything like this before in her life.

“Here, let me hold it for you.’ Hilda scooted towards her, getting very close to her. “Just hold it over your mouth like this.” She instructed. “There, you got it. Now,” 

Marianne went tense as Hilda traced a lone finger across the back of her neck. “Deep inhale.” She was told as the bong started bubbling, before the pink haired girl pulled the piece. Smoke came rushing into her lungs as she looked up, her eyes staring still through the person in front of her.

“Here, Mari.” Hilda gently cupped her face, pulling her lips close to hers. “Now exhale.” She instructed, leaning close to her as she pulled her closer.

The smoke gently leaked out of her mouth before Marianne reassociated with where she was, hacking the air out of her lungs as her face and chest burned. Hilda hardly had enough time to react to the spit hitting her face, only wiping it off. “I’m so sorry…” Marianne tried to explain, tears forming in her eyes as she tried to breathe. “I never…” she coughed some more. “I never…”

“It’s fine.” Hilda told her, grabbing a bottle of water. “Here.” She offered, her friend taking it and chugging the bottle. “There you go, look at you champ.” The girl congratulated. “First bong hit.” Her hand patted her friend's back.

“I’m so sorry.” Marianne gasped out. “I didn’t mean to.”

“No it’s good.” Hilda explained. “Water under the fridge.”

“But you wanted me to do something and I didn’t. I coughed all over you.” Marianne’s hand shot up to her head, grabbing a fistful of hair. “I didn’t mean to but-”

“Mari!” Hilda cut her off. “It’s okay.” 

“But… I shouldn’t be here… a-at this party… the party’s too much but I came anyway.” She stood up, looking around the room.

“You’re welcome here. We’re glad you’re here.” Hilda did her best to calm her friend down.

“N-no… no one waited for me to come. They just went…”

“I wanted you to come…” Hilda told her, looking dejected.

“No no no Hilda.” Marianne crouched down. “Please… please don’t be hurt by me… I can’t hurt you…”

Looking up at her friend, her eyes red, wringing her hands, Hilda sighed as she stood up. “Come on, we’re gonna go somewhere quiet.”

“But the party…” Marianne tried to reason, her knees shaking.

Hilda rolled her eyes, taking Marianne by the hand. “Come on.” She told her, leading her along. “Hey Dorothea?” She called out. “You don’t mind if we go to your room for a bit right? We need somewhere quiet for right now.”

The brunette in question could hardly lift her head from Bernadetta’s lapped, who looked all too excited for her to be there, to answer. “Oh yeah! Sure, you girls go right on ahead.”

She told them. “Take all the time you need.”

Lead away from the sounds of booming music and loud cheers, Hilda took Marianne by the hand as she led her into Dorothea’s room. With the only light in the room being some lights hanging from the window sill, Marianne paced the room the second she got in, grasping the side of her head. “I-I’m just here because someone told me to. I never listen to myself.”

“Mari sit down.” Hilda told her.

“I shouldn’t have come, I always make things worse for those around me.”

“Please sit down.” Hilda repeated. 

“This is why I need to stay away, it’d be better for you.” 

Hilda stood on her feet. “Please stop thinking you avoiding me is benefiting me. It isn’t when I want to see you.” She admitted.

Marianne stood, frozen on the spot. Slowly approaching her, Hilda wrapped her arms around her. “Just sit down, breathe. You’re okay.” She told her. “You’re just really high right now.” She assured her, rubbing her head. “It happened to me, it happened with Claude, you just need to wait it out.”

Sat on the floor by the bed, Marianne shook as she took a deep breath after another. Slowly did the girls limbs relax as she tried to calm herself. “I’m still sorry…” She explained to Hilda, who this time listened. “I just… never tried anything like that before.” Looking over, she seemed fine with looking Hilda directly in the eyes. “But I’m glad you’re here… I needed someone like you for this.”

“Of course, Mari.” Hilda told her, leaning towards her and pulling her into a hug. “I was so excited to see you here. I guess I got carried away with what your boundaries are. I thought for a moment you were the regular partygoer like us.”

She felt her arm squeezed by a hand as Marianne looked at her. “You really think me as someone like your friends?” She asked her.

Smiling, Hilda placed her hand on Mariannes. “You’re more, you’re someone special to me.”

“Then I have a confession…” Marianne’s voice trembled, her hands shaking slightly. “You’re someone special to me too. Very special.” She explained. “And you showed me some things I never tried before… and…”

Hilda’s cheeks flushed as Marianne stammered out her answer. She had heard enough stories to know where it was going, yet held her silence.

“I’ve never kissed anyone before…” Marianne confessed, in a hushed whisper, as if the walls would judge her.

“And…” Stated Hilda. “You want me to be your first, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry!” Marianne turned away, covering her face with her hands. “It was wrong of me to ask. I’ll go now.” She told her.

Standing up to leave, Marianne stopped at the smallest tug of her sleeve. “Don’t go.” Hilda told her. “You shouldn’t be afraid of telling someone that.” She stood up, placing a hand on her shoulders. “You… like me? Like, like me like me?”

All Marianne did was nod slowly, afraid to look her in the eyes. “You were always so outgoing, without a care of what others thought. You’re your own friend, and you’re… really pretty too.”

“Well, so are you.” Hilda told her. “You have a way of handling yourself. I didn’t think a girl like you was cut out for college. Yet here you are, you’re putting yourself out there, improving. You’re also so adorable too.”

Word’s evaded Marianne as she looked at Hilda. “Here,” The pink haired girl told her. Making sure the door was closed, no locks, she hoped someone would have the decency to knock. “Sit down.” She instructed once again.

Sitting across from each other, Marianne’s heart raced in her chest. “You just want to… lean forward…” Hilda instructed her. “Part your lips ever so slightly…” Her voice whispered to her. “And close your eyes…”

She couldn’t keep them closed. The moment Hilda’s lips brushed against her, her eyes shot open. Once she pressed into the kiss, Marianne could only keep them half closed as Hilda kissed her before pulling away. Her first kiss, and Hilda looked back and smiled. “Did you like that?” She asked.

Marianne leaned forward and pulled her into another one, surprising the girl with her aggressiveness. Something so sudden from Mari caught Hilda off guard, yet she wrapped a hand on her back and returned it. Marianne’s hand rested on her side, slowly moving upward. Once her hand found something to take hold of did she give a firm squeeze.

Pulling away, Hilda moaned out as her cheeks went red. Marianne pulled away in shame, covering her face. “I’m so sorry!” She exclaimed. “I lost control of myself, I shouldn’t have done that, I know.”

A lone finger rested on her lips, as Hilda smiled to her. Without a word, she pulled her sweater up to her neck, revealing a maroon coloured bra underneath. “You can do that again if you like.”

Hesitantly, to say the least, did Marianne reach out. Meeting her halfway did Hilda take her hand and put in on her chest, allowing Marianne to touch them. Pulling her on top of her as she laid on the floor did the pair go from light kissing to a full on makeout session. The sounds Hilda made were hard to interpret as pleasure through her kissing, but neither could keep their hands off of each other. While Marianne switched hands, Hilda’s found her feeling the girls waist, and below as well.

“H-Hilda…” Marianne pulled away, “I want to do more with you.” She told her.

“I was hoping you’d ask that.” Responded Hilda, reaching down. Moving around, she succeeded in moving her pants midway down her thigh.

Looking down, before looking back up at her, Marianne had a hand brush the stray hair out of her face. “Go ahead.” She told her. Moving her hand, she traced it down her body, past her stomach, and in between her legs. With everything going on, all Mari could focus on was Hilda’s reaction, who cried out in pleasure and slightly bucked her hips. It was too much for the girl to take in, but before she could pull away, she leaned in and gave her the deepest kiss she had that night.

“I lo-”

The door knob started fidgeting, and the two could barely return their hands to themselves as it opened. Dorothea stood in the doorway, looking at the two laying on top of each other. Hilda only managed to succeed in pulling her pants up as she waved the brunette off.

“Dorothea get out!” She hissed at her, not too worried about the fact that they were in her room.

“Oh my gosh you guys!” Dorothea exclaimed in excitement. Before any further comment could be made did Bernadetta quickly usher her away.

Pulling her sweater down, she looked over to see Marianne sobbing into her hands. “Mari…” 

“I’m so sorry… that was something that’s supposed to be special. I didn’t know what to do… I panicked.”

“It’s okay, let’s just lie down.” Hilda explained.

“This isn’t our room.”

“It’s alright…” Hilda wrapped her arms around her. “It’s okay, Mari. I promise.”

It wasn’t the most convincing of arguments, but the way Hilda held her, Marianne knew what she said was sincere. Lying on the bed with her, fully clothed, did she feel safe in drifting off to sleep in someone’s arms. For Hilda, it was the first time she fell asleep with someone who cared for her as much as she did for them.

* * *

  
  


That morning, Marianne woke up to the feeling a hand gently brushing her hair. Despite the circumstance did she keep her eyes closed as she enjoyed the sensation. Hilda typed on her phone, sending text after text.

_ H: Claude, we’re passed out in Dorothea’s room _

_ H: You’re coming anyway so can you please walk us out _

_ Claude: Just leave _

_ Claude: Wait who’s with you? _ __   
__   
Reading his text, Hilda looked down. Marianne opened her eyes a little and looked up at Hilda, clinging to her and nuzzling her face into her chest. 

_ H: If you make any comments I will fucking emasculate you _

_ C: I’m coming, just sit tight. _

Putting her phone down, Hilda snuggled up to Marianne. The silence in the air hung still, only the sound of their breathing could be heard. It was a while before someone, the least likely of the two, spoke up.

“Uhm… does this mean we’re… together?” Marianne asked.

Hilda looked back at her. “Well… I mean… it could… if you want it to continue.” She told her.

“Would you want to… with me I mean?”

Pulling her close, Hilda raised her head as she spoke. “I would love to be your girlfriend.” She told Marianne.

Her lips parted, as Marianne looked back at Hilda. “R-really? You mean that?”

“Of course Mari.” She told her, leaning down and kissing her head. “Last night was amazing.”

“But… someone walked in on us.”

“Oh yeah,” Hilda giggled excitedly. “Not the first time that’s happened to me.” She told her. “But maybe some night, we’ll have no on walk in on us.”

Marianne gasped, hopping off the bed as she found her shoes. “Y-you mean… you want to do  _ that _ again?”

Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Hilda smiled to her. “Well… there’s lots I’d love to do with my girlfriend.” She said.

There was a knock this time on the door, as Claude opened the door. Peeking in to see a timid Marianne and Hilda staring him down, daring him to say anything, he nodded his head. “Come on kids, time to get you guys home.” He told them.

She was reluctant, Hilda could tell. Stepping out of the room and back into the world after the night they had. But when she held out her hand to her, Marianne took it, knowing she had someone who would care for and protect her. Hand in hand, they walked back to their dorms without comment, the entire time did Marianne keep feeling how Hilda’ hand felt with her fingers.

They thought they were sneaky with a kiss outside their dorms, but the smirk on Claude’s face remained hidden from view. Though he knew better than to jab at Hilda’s love life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like the new M rating. I sure do.


	12. Bernie suffers from premature celebration

After a few weeks of nothing but uneventful schooling, Dorothea was getting a little anxious. The occasional outing with a housemate was sufficing her for the time being before Christmas break. Glancing over at the picture she had of her and her foster parents on her desk, she pushed her chair back and leaned back.

“I’ll be home soon, you two.” She spoke aloud.

Grabbing her phone, she sent the group chat a singular message.  _ “Store run. Anyone want anything?” _ She asked, tossing her phone aside as she got up, stretching her legs. Outside her window, snow fell gently in the cold night. Finally deciding on a sweater, Dorothea checked her phone once more, only having a response from Caspar.   
  
_ “Yeah I'll come with. Meet you in the common room.” _ He told her.

It was only after she had gotten the text that Dorothea realized she was perfectly contempt to go alone to the store, giving her some time to think. Then again, she offered her friends so there’s no point in backing out now. Besides, it’d probably be best to spend time with someone, anyone right now.

When she walked downstairs and into the empty common room, she could have sworn that there was noise coming from somewhere. The tv was off, and no one was in the kitchen area, and it took Dorothea a solid minute to discover Bernie lying on the couch, lost in her sketchbook as music could be heard playing from her ear buds.

Bernadetta couldn’t help but let out a surprised squeak as Dorothea tapped her shoulder. “Hey Bernie.” She greeted happily.

“Gah! I thought I was the only one here.” Bernie explained.

“No you’re not.” Caspar called, descending the stairs. “We’re heading to the store, wanna come with?” He asked.

“Uhm…” Bernie seemed hesitant, as if there was something she wanted to say. “Yeah, sure.”

December had brought its fair show of snow, which blanketed the grass in front of the dorm. Dorothea was doing her best to keep her head up this Winter, despite circumstances. Traditionally she’d be alone through the holidays if she didn’t have a partner by the time the month rolled around, so chances are she’d be alone at school.

All the more reason to visit her foster parents.

“So Dean Rhea had to enforce the ‘no snow throwing policy’ and it’s anyone’s guess who brought that on.” Caspar stated, as the trio walked off campus.

“Yep,” Dorothea nodded in agreement. “Said he had Edelgard in his sights and Hubert just suddenly appeared behind him and Hilda.”

“Like does Claude just forget he gets in trouble with this every year and think ‘I’ll get em this year’” He chuckled at his shoddy impersonation.

“I mean we have the dreaded ice incident, almost took out Dimitri’s eye.” Dorothea smirked at the memory, which in hindsight was much more funnier as time passed.

“What a dumbass.” Caspar laughed. “Does he really think we’re like kids and we’re gonna start a snowball fight or something? Is paintballing not enough for him?” He called as they crossed the street.

“I mean come on, Caspie. If professor Byleth announced it was a snow day and we were excused early to play, you wouldn’t build a snowman?” Dorothea asked as she and Bernadetta waited on the sidewalk.

“Of course I would, you think I’m dead inside?”

“I think everyone else is, soldier on Caspar.” Dorothea praised, patting his head much to his annoyance.

There was the rest of the walk before Bernadetta, who had held her tongue for the walk, finally spoke up.

“Is now a good time to mention tomorrow is my birthday?”

“It is!?” Dorothea exclaimed as she spun and faced Bernie.

“Oh yeah, I think I found that out on your insta.” Caspar told her.

“And you knew, I’m hurt Caspie.” Dorothea put a hand over her chest.

“Sure you are.” He quipped.

“We need to celebrate though. Why didn’t you say anything?” The brunette asked.

“I mean, it never came up. And as the day got closer, it felt wrong to suddenly bring it up like ‘hey it’s my birthday so hang out with me.’ I did expect comments on my Facebook though.” Bernie explained, smiling melancholically at the end.

“No, we’d love to do something special.” Dorothea told her. “How about we get some beers and hang out tonight? A little premature Bernie birthday celebration.” She suggested.

Raising her head, Bernadetta’s eyes beamed at the suggestion. “Yeah… we can do that.”

Pulling out her phone, Dorothea typed up a message in the Black Eagles group chat.  _ “Bernies birthday is tomorrow so we’re getting alcohol. Anyone is free to join.” _

Entering the store, the trio made their way. “We can just stay up and drink a little.” Dorothea commented. “What do you want, anything you want to get?”

“Uhm.. I guess Mike’s Hard.” Bernie commented. “Don’t like the taste of regular beer.”

“Yep, on it.” Caspar responded. “I’ll get two cases.”

“Yeah, whatever we don’t drink tonight we’ll save for later.” Dorothea called out.

They had left the store as quickly as they arrived, snacks and alcohol in hand. The snow was coming down a little harder now then when they had first entered. Bernadetta shivered, breathing into her hands and rubbing them together.

“Damnit I should have brought gloves.” Caspar grunted in annoyance. 

“Cold?” Dorothea asked, smiling at her.

“Uhm… j-just a little. I kinda forgot to grab a warmer hoodie so...”

Rather than answer, Dorothea only opened up her arms and pulled Bernadetta close to her. “Here, I’d hate for you to get sick out here.” She teased.

Bernadetta was lost for words, blushing profusely as Caspar huffed in annoyance. “Oh sure, let the guy holding all the beer freeze then.”

“What are you talking about, there’s always room for more in these arms.” Dorothea told him, moving towards him with Bernie in tow.

“Nah, I’m good.” Caspar told her, stepping aside. The smile he gave was all toe smug for the brunette’s liking.

“Seriously, you’re gonna complain then reject my offer.” Dorothea pointed out.

“Let’s just hurry back.” Caspar told her. “These things might pop if it’s too cold out.”

“No they won’t.” She argued, though her friend didn’t listen as he took off. She released Bernie, who managed to get her bearings in time to follow him with Dorothea.

Bursting through the front door, Caspar rushed past Ferdinand and set down the drinks on the counter. “My hands! My hands are freezing.” He cried out in dismay, turning and shoving his hands into the couch cushions. Dorothea and Bernadetta entered, shivering from the cold as they shook the snow off of themselves.

“Hey guys… got your message.” Ferdinand told them. “You all good?”

“Yeah we froze our asses off out there for some alcohol and snacks.” Dorothea lectured. “Also hi, I assume you got our message.”

“Yep, I don’t think anyone else is around or awake but I’m up for some drinking.” He told the group. 

Hiding her dismay at only Ferdinand joining them, Dorothea grabbed a bottle, passing them to her friends. “Alright everyone, to Bernie’s birthday.” She cheered.

Clinking their bottles, each took a swig in celebratory fashion. “Ah, feels good to drink again.” Dorothea commented.

“Oh yeah, you haven’t drinken at all since the party.” Ferdinand commented.

Caspar couldn’t help himself in laughing a little to herself, with Bernadetta turning away. “Yeah, you were fucking hammered.”

“Thank you, my boyfriend broke up with me that night so of course I was going to.” Dorothea commented, taking another drink. “Mistakes were made, and I woke up in someone else’s bed.”

“Really, who’s bed?” Ferdiand asked, trying to play it coy.

It was Bernadetta’s squeak that gave the answer.

“Oh… it was her.” He pointed.

“Nothing happened!” Bernie stated. “She just kinda… passed out in my bed… and I slept fine. Then she woke up and…”

“Was hungover as shit the next day, that was fun.” Dorothea sighed, taking another swig.

“Good Bernie, you got a girl into your bed.” Caspar joked, giving her a high five.

“Yeah, nice one.” Ferdinand also commented.

“Guys, don’t encourage this.” Dorothea scolded half-heartedly.

“We’re not, we just want to let the birthday girl know she does a good job at taking care of drunk people.” Caspar commented, pretending to reach for another bottle. “Here, have another drink.” He joked, making the group laugh.

“Well,” Bernadetta felt an arm around her shoulders. “I’m glad I had my Bernie to take care of me.” Dorothea said, pulling the girl close. “And that’s why I love her.” She stated casually, pulling her head into her chest.

Once pulled away was there a noticable red stain on Dorothea’s sweater. “Bernie, your nose.” Caspar pointed out. 

Realizing that blood was pouring from her nose, Bernadetta nearly panicked. “I’m so sorry Dorothea.”

“No no it’s fine, you’re not the first person to get their blood on my clothes. Here.” Dorothea rushed over and got a washcloth. “Here, lemme just…” She wiped her face clean. “Just press this to your nose, we’ll wash it later.” She instructed, before turning and taking off her sweater, revealing a t-shirt underneath. “Alright, do you need anything else?”

No answer, the group just looked at her in silence. “What?” She asked, as if there was something Dorothea was supposed to say.

“What was that first thing you said?” Caspar asked.

“Huh, you mean about being hungover?”

“No the blood thing.” Ferdinand reiterated. “Why did someone else’s blood get on you?”

“Oh,” Dorothea giggled. “I mean, it’s kinda like-”

“I knew it, she’s a killer.” Caspar stated. “Dorothea’s a murderer.”

“No, guys-”

“She killed a family.” Ferdinand said. “You killed a family.” He jokingly accused, pointing a finger at her.

“Guys you word this all wrong. I’ve just had weirdo’s try to jump me before and I kick their asses.” The brunette tried to explain.

“Dorothea those were homeless people asking you for spare change they didn’t need that.” Caspar told her, grinning widely.

“You guys are the worst.” Dorothea smirked, shaking her head as she headed up stairs. “I’ll be right back.”

The two guys shared a laugh as Bernadetta wiped her nose clean. She turned to see the two looking at her, and could only state the facts of the incident.

“She’s hot, isn’t she Bernie?” Caspar commented.

“Uhm…” Bernadetta felt her legs shake at the question. “I-I mean…”

“Yeah, you should date her.” Ferdinand casually stated, blissfully unaware of the repercussions

“Yeah Bernie, you should. Do it.” Caspar cheered for her.

To Bernadetta, she had never been more betrayed by Caspar before in her life so far. The regret of him ever finding out about her crush. “I-I…” She tried to stammer.

Saved by the return of Dorothea, Bernadetta prayed the topic of the conversation would be changed. “Sorry about that.”

“Hide all the evidence?” Ferdinand joked.

“No, cause there’s no body to hide yet.” She glared at him, prompting them to drop the bit.

“Also your hangover story got me thinking,” Ferdinand brought up, Bernie clenching her fists in fear. “Do you ever get sick of dating the other sex?”

“I mean… I guess…?” Dorothea answered, confused about where he was going.

“Why can’t people just take a break from that and like… hang out with the same gender for a while.”

“What?” Caspar asked.

“Just think about it, you’re sick of dating, so you get a date friend who is the same gender as you.” Ferdinand tried to explain.

“Excuse me?” Dorothea accused. “What is going on?”

“Yeah, you just date like, like me, I’d date a guy friend for a while.” He stated.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Caspar answered him. “They have a word for that. Do you really think you just invented being bisexual?”

Ferdinand laughed a little. “Not in a sexual way-”

“Yeah, you know, I just kiss my homey, have sex with him, just not in a gay way though.” Caspar mocked him.

“See, no. That’s it.”

“Okay but it is something that’s gay though.” Dorothea pointed out, laughing at Ferdinand's analogy. “Are you trying to tell us something?”

“Is there something you discovered about yourself recently you want to tell us?” Caspar asked.

“Uhm…” Ferdinad blushed a little.

“If you’re not comfortable answering that’s fine too.” Dorothea explained.

“Maybe, I think.” He answered. “Might get back to you later on this.”

“Okay, thank you.” Caspar told him.

“Didn’t know you were that excited about something like that.” He responded

“Well no!” Caspar retorted. “You’re telling us “guys, I just came up with a great idea and I want to run it by you” like we had never heard of the concept before.”

“Right in front of me of all people.” Dorothea told him, acting offended.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I knew the class bisexual wouldn’t take my idea lightley.” 

“I’m flattered, but we all know Edelgard is the class bisexual.” Dorothea told them.

“She’s bi?” Caspar asked.

“She’ll never admit she is.” Dorothea told them. “She won’t admit to ever finding anyone attractive. Not even me,” She gave a feigned sad look. “Which hurts… kind of.” She said, her tone flat.

“I mean I think I heard Hilda commenting that she thought professor Byleth is hot and now she’s dating Marianne.” Caspar commented. “That’s a whole other gossip story.”

“I know! I had a feeling Mari liked her. I was so happy when I found out.” Dorothea exclaimed. She had a feeling that there was something going on between the two after she was told she might have offended them both at the party. “I hope the best for them, they’re great together.”

Bernie, despite remaining silent, nodded in agreement. “I… I guess I’m credited with hooking them up… I think.”

“Oh really, do tell.” Dorothea pondered, leaning towards her.

“W-well… she was looking for Hilda that night. We just left the basement.” She looked to Caspar, who nodded. “And I saw her and grabbed Marianne’s arm and pulled her over.”

“Oh yeah, it was your first time getting high, I remember that.” Dorothea nodded. “Man, too bad Edelgard isn’t here, she could probably hook us up.”

“Another time, maybe tomorrow night for all we know.” Caspar told her. “I gotta paper to finish tonight.”

“Yeah, I’m turning in too.” Ferdinand told them.

Bernie yawned. “I’m gonna go to bed early.” She said. “Thanks for this guys, I never did anything with friends before for my birthday.”

“Oh, of course, Bernie.” Dorothea pulled her into a hug. “We’re always happy to spend time with you.” She told her. “You have a good night.”

Bernadetta pulled away, her face glowing. “Th-thanks…” She told, before turning and going back up the stairs.

Dorothea sighed, a blissful smile on her face, having a minor tint of red as well. Finishing her drink, she turned to see both guys staring at her, grinning maliciously. “Don’t give me that look.” she teased.

* * *

  
  


Bernie wasn’t quite sure what to expect, it was harder to get out of bed the next day, and her head was pounding. Even after wiping her nose clean more and more, she mustered up the strength to finally step out of her room. The walk to class was longer than usual, and she hardly saw anyone.

Making it to the classroom, everyone stared at her out of concern. It felt humiliating, yet she didn’t seem to mind at all. It was until she took her seat and professor Byleth saw that the obvious was pointed out.

“You need to go home.” He told her.

Bernadetta’s face was flushed of colour, her nose running constantly. She breathed in to respond and coughed violently.

“N-no…” She moaned out.

“Bernie, come on.” Dorothea got from her seat. “Let me take you back to your room.” She told her.

Her mind too heavy to process much thought, Bernadetta felt herself whisked away from her seat as she and a beautiful princess escaped from the school.

“Why did you even come in today?” Dorothea lectured. “Did you think you needed to come in today?”

The princess, seemed to concerned for her own wellbeing, but all Bernadetta could respond with was a whimper. She wasn’t quite aware of where she was at the moment.

Sighing, Dorothea shook her head condescendingly. “Oh Bernie, what will I do with you.” She whispered aloud.

The struggle of getting Bernie up the stairs wore Dorothea out, to the point of bridal carrying her up the stairs. Setting her on her bed, the brunette had tucked her friend in. “I’m gonna get you some water, okay. Please make sure to drink it.” She told her friend.

All Bernadetta was groan in pain as she laid in her bed. All Dorothea could do was brush the girl’s hair aside. “It’s okay, I’ll come check on you right after class.” She told her. Walking to the door, she looked back at her friend. “I’ll be back for you.” She said.

The sky was overcast with gray clouds, the snow becoming a brown mush as Dorothea walked back through campus. It was mostly vacant, so she had a little time to think to herself. Not that her mind had anything to think about, her focus being on returning to class for now. She thought of putting her headphones on for a moment until someone caught her eyes, someone who didn’t think she’d be talking to again so soon.

“Oh…” Myrmidon said. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” Dorothea said back.

The silence between them forze still, neither unable to even breathe near each other with the tension shared among them. Looking back at each other, it was Dorothea who couldn’t bear it anymore. “Be seeing you.” She told him, beginning to walk past.

“Dorothea, please.” Myrmidon spoke up, hanging his head low. “I…” He turned, facing her. Despite her better judgement, she had stepped in her tracks, not wanting to face him.

“You didn’t deserve what I put you through.” He told her. Turning around, she looked back at him as he continued. “I was lost, and you were going somewhere I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go.” Myrmidon said. “You’re a great girl… and if you don’t forgive me that’s fine, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” 

Standing there, taking in his words, Dorothea finally approached him. Extending her arms, she pulled into a hug. “I don’t blame you… I think I had rose tinted glasses on. I couldn’t really see the bigger picture of what I wanted.” she sighed. “The one thing I regret was feeling bitter towards you and myself because of it.”

“I never wanted that for you, for us.” He said.

“Me neither.” She said, pulling away. “I wish you the best, though.”

“You too.” He said, smiling at her, Dorothea happy to return as well.

* * *

  
  


There was a voice, loud, angry, and she wasn’t sure what they were so mad at. Tossing and turning, there wasn’t any chance of escaping it as it bore down on her. She looked to escape, where a second voice came through. They were stern, they faulted her for the anger the initial voice had. Turning from her, she felt lost, no one to help, no one to save her.

“Hey there…” A new voice called out. Unlike the other ones, this voice was calm, soothing, seeming to actually care about her well being for once. Drawn to it, she leaned towards it as much as her body let her. 

“How are you feeling?” They asked, and Bernadetta couldn’t give an answer. Her body ached, she wasn’t sure if she was gonna keep the food she had eaten down, and her mind refused to let her rest. All she could do was moan in heavy discomfort.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” She shushed gently, resting her hand on her cheek while the other stroked her head. “It’s alright, I’m here now.”

No one had ever comforted her this way before, it was like a princess from a Fairy Tail had appeared to her. One that would listen to her needs and pamper her with the affection she so needed.

Dorothea was ready to get up to leave when a pair of hands grasped her wrist. Bernadetta, in a light sleep, held her hand in place as she rested her cheek into her palm, sighing in contempt. While there wasn’t a chair nearby for her to grab, the brunette was more than happy to stay where she was.

Next to her bed, on the nightstand, did the phone buzz. As wrong as it was, Dorothea couldn’t help but snoop through her lock screen. Messages from the school had poured in with birthday wishes. From Lindhardt, Huber, Petra, to even Dimitri and Claude. Marianne seemed especially concerned about the girl’s wellbeing when told, and Hilda promised that when she recovered that they would party even harder to make up for lost time.

The one thing that caught her attention the most was her lockscreen, the picture that she had taken of both of them at the party.

Looking back, despite what everything the day had thrown at her, and what she had to put up with previously, Bernadetta still had a reason to smile.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I realized Bernie's birthday was coming I had to get a chapter in time for the occasion.
> 
> Happy birthday Bernadetta


	13. A very Bernie Christmas

Snow fell outside of her window, blanketing what little she could see of the campus from her room. Bernadetta admitted that she took solace in not being home for the holidays. For once, they weren’t a chance for her parents to shower her with gifts, as if to smooth over all they had done that year.

There would be none of that this time. No gifts, Edelgard stressed that they were optional and Bernadetta wasn’t sure she knew anyone who was staying well enough to get them one. Dorothea had returned home to her foster parents, Caspar also went back home to his family. In the end, only Edelgard, Hubert, and Petra had stayed on campus for the holidays. There were a few others in the respective houses as well that would be here, but for now, all she would do was hide in her room. 

This didn’t feel right to sit on her computer wrapped in a blanket on this day. It was Christmas, and she felt she needed to at least do something special. Even if the day particularly didn’t mean much to her personally she hated the idea of repeating her usual habits again. Though holidays usually meant large gatherings, and with school she’d have no energy to interact with anyone. Edelgard seemed opposed to hosting any school staff here at their dorms, until convinced by their professor. Her, alongside Hubert, resonated an aura that also acted as Bernie repellent, making them near unapproachable in her eyes.

At least today, she could at least attempt to be completely stress free. No school work, no worrying if Dorothea thought less of her from her behavior, just a day in with the weather permitting her to stay inside. Just because she was gonna be in her room all day didn’t mean she didn’t have to make something of it. She grabbed her sketchbook, leaned back in her chair with her headphones on and doodled. It was mainly focused on her window, and the view from outside. A stray branch, a distant light pole, and snow were her subjects for today.

For a few moments, she could say she was relaxed. Bernadetta merely traced her pencil over paper, not minding much mistakes she made. Contempt in her space, for the time being. A gentle knock on the door alerted her, but stayed calm when she heard Petra’s voice from outside.

“Bernadetta, sleeping or awake?” She asked from the other side of the door.

Stretching her limbs as she got out of her chair, Bernadetta tiptoed over to the door and opened it, peeking out from behind. “Hey Petra.” she greeted. “Merry christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” She responded. “Hubert is breakfast preparing… no… preparing breakfast down the stairs.” Petra told her. “Come joining us.

She was reluctant, per usual, to leave her room. Yet Bernadetta managed to coax herself out long enough to the smell of cinnamon rolls and fresh brewed coffee. Despite their rather unfestive nature, it seemed the house leads at least planned to make their time together special this holiday.

“Good morning Bernadetta,” Edelgard greeted with a smile. “Merry Christmas.” She spoke, having donned a santa hat for occasion. Hubert merely laid back on the couch, nursing a cup of coffee as he looked for christmas movies on Netflix.

“Oh, you too.” She told her. After pouring herself a cup and grabbing a few cinnamon rolls. With her first bite did Bernadetta’s eyes light up. “Ede-” She swallowed quickly. “Edelgard, you made these?”

“Yes,” She smiled fondly. “It was something my older sister use to do on Christmas morning. They’re probably the only thing I know how to make well.” The house leader admitted to herself,

Bernie wasted no time in eating as what she had on her plate. Her coffee was half empty when there was a knock on the door. She froze in her spot at the kitchen table at the sound of them having visitors.

In walked Claude, with Hilda and Marianne behind him, all in pajamas. “Ho ho ho my hoes.” He announced. “Merry Christmas!” The man cheered. Behind, the two held hands, Marianne sticking close to her girlfriends side.

“God I hope that’s me in the future.” Bernadetta silently prayed as she sipped her coffee. Hoping she could make her presence as unnoticeable as possible before slipping back to her room, her plans were only further burdened by the arrival of Dimitri with Ingrid and Sylvain, all of them in their pajamas.

“Hello all.” Dimitri greeted. “Happy holidays.” He called out, being met with acknowledgments in returns from the others.

Bernadetta gripped her cup tight at the idea of the remaining three houses all converging on the dorms. A pajama party seemed nice in concept, but she wasn’t sure what was expected from her. It wasn’t a wild party with alcohol, hang overs, and heavy conflicting feelings, just their friends goofing off in their pj’s since they weren’t with their families for the holidays.

The one topic that she really hoped wouldn’t come up was why she was staying. Truth is, she hadn’t heard from her parents in months. Not once was the idea of her going home ever mentioned to her by her parents.

She looked over the group, all of them messing around with each other like they had been friends their entire lives. Only one she could relate to was Marianne, who held her girlfriends hand tightly. It’d be rude to consider them strangers, but close friends seemed like such a far stretch in her mind. What were their social boundaries? The last thing Bernadetta wanted to do was cross a line with them, tell a joke that would turn their perception of her from a soft girl into an inconsiderate jackass. She saw how Edelgard was crying in her professors arms at the Thanksgiving party, and the idea of causing something like that made her feel ill.

“Hey Bernadetta.” Claude spoke to her, his voice lower than when he entered.

“Gah!” She squeaked out, turning to him. Torn away from her thoughts, she looked back at him. “H-hi Claude. Uhm… Merry Christmas.” She spoke unsurely.

“To you as well.” He greeted. “Happy to see you’re around. Sorry you couldn’t be with your folks.”

She held her tongue for a brief moment. How could she be put off by someone so genuinely nice to her? His kindness so great, by her standards, that Bernadetta could almost forget about her lack of family interaction these holidays. Instead all she responded with “No worries, you guys are fine.”

Fine, that’s what she goes with? Fine, as if she were settling. As if the people she was stuck with were her only options and she shrugged her shoulders like “guess you’ll do” as if there was someone Bernie could be with.

“Hey,” Claude told her, causing her to snap her head towards him, ready. “You’re pretty cool yourself. Need anything, just ask.” He told her.

Relief fell over her, so glad that what she said wasn’t taken the wrong way. Getting up from her seat, she quickly gulped down more of her coffee before rinsing her cup in the sink. If she were to spend anymore time down here then a tactical retreat back to her room was in order. Taking as much precaution as she could, Bernadetta made way through the room, hoping to avoid human contact for the time being. All she needed was her bearings and she’s be right as rain.

“Bernadetta.” A voice, soothing as ice was heard.

Turning around, it seemed that her professor was attending this festivities as well. Though dressed in his regular clothes rather than pajamas, Bernadetta still could help but feel there was something different about him. Their face seemed to be in a brighter mood than usual, and in his voice she could hear a hint of him being excited to see her. Maybe the holiday spirit had infected her teacher as well.

“Oh, hi professor.” She greeted. Something about him didn’t repel her away, as Bernie found herself stricken with curiosity over the professors behavior. “Merry Christmas.”

“Just Byleth, today.” He stated. “But thank you.”

While she wasn’t sure she or anyone else would be able to keep up with calling him by their name, she did admit this side of her teacher was pleasant to be around. For today, she considered it best to forget about any scholar studies and enjoy her time with her friends.

Then Rhea showed up with Seteth and Flayn, then Manuela showed up. Before she knew it, people Bernadetta hadn’t even met were there. From Jeritza, who talked with Edelgard and Hubert. Catherine and Shamir mostly kept to themselves, two women who intimidated Bernie to her core.

At least the antics of her classmates were amusing. They argued over which christmas movie they could all watch, with Ingrid being the first to give a suggestion

“Die Hard.”

Claude turned to her, grinning with his front teeth sticking out. “Wow Ingrid.”

“Okay Claude, I get it.” She spoke.

“You said Die Hard.”

“Claude please.” she said, giggling as she rested her forehead on a palm.

“You said Die Hard when I asked what movie we should watch. Get it.” He stated flatly. “Die Hard takes place on Christmas, you totally cracked the code.” He said to her.

“Okay…” She laughed. “Was just a suggestion. I’m totally gonna watch it later though.”

“Any other suggestions?”

“We get some mistletoes for this party.” Sylvain said.

“No.”

“Shut up.”

“Do it and I’ll kill you.”

“As nice as it would be to kiss one another.” Claude said, turning to Dimitri. “In a completely friendly, platonic matter in which friends do.”

“Thank you Claude.” Dimitri stated, trying to not fall amused to his friends scheme.

“Can I though, just on the cheek?” Claude pleaded with a forced puppy dog look in his eyes.

“Please no.” He answered

“That’s okay,” Claude responded. “As your friend, I respect your feelings and boundaries.”

“Very happy for that Claude.” Dimitri cracked, smirking. “Glad you respect this over when you spiked the salsa last summer.”

“You guys don’t have an exotic taste I was looking to fix that.” Claude explained.

“Felix nearly passed out.” Sylvain argued.

“Coward, is what we call people like that.” Claude argued.

“So, no movie?” Ingrid spoke up.

“Just put a burning yule log on.”

As the conversations continued, Bernadetta stayed near the kitchen. It wasn’t too populated with people but her options were limited. She ate the last of the cinnamon rolls, and it’d be disastrous to have more coffee at this point. For a while she stood her ground, people watch from within the room. There was a cheery mood that came over the house that she wasn’t quite use too.

“Pardon me, dear.” Manuela searched the fridge, briefly checking her phone. “Ah ha!” She exclaimed, pulling out a bottle of champagne. “Our good friend left this for us.” She told her.

That’s right, Dorothea had claimed that her “gift” to the house was a bottle of champagne. In hindsight, it seemed more like a gift for Manuela who had used their orange juice to make a mimosa. 

“Want one?” She offered.

“Oh!” Bernie was surprised, she never once took alcohol into a factor for today. While her knowledge was still limited, she knew some alcohol wasn’t too bad in the morning. “I can have one.” She told herself.

She wanted to chide herself for accepting alcohol from an older woman. ‘Yeah, like getting drunk will make things better for you.’

‘Come on Brain, let’s not fight. It’s Christmas.’ Bernie chided back to herself.

“Here you are.” Manuela snapped her out of her thoughts. “I didn’t know how heavy you want yours so there’s probably more juice in their than alcohol.”

Taking the frail glass in her hand, Bernie looked back at Manuela as the two clinked glasses. “Cheers sweetie, merry christmas.”

Maybe it was sharing drinks with an attractive older woman, the way the sound of the glass in her ears, or being called “sweetie” but Bernadetta found the act all too intimate, her cheeks turning a shade of red. Perking up on the moment of contact with their drinks, Manuela could see the girls surprise and returned it with a giggle. She could see why her and Dorothea so close.

“Uhm… thanks.” Bernie said, forcing any kind of words out of her.

“Oh of course, Dorothea spoke so highly of you that I figure I treat you to something special.” The woman responded.

“Dorothea’s talked about me!?” Bernadetta spoke up, visibly excited by her words.

“Oh of course.” Manuela took a sip. “I was so happy when she said she’d be seeing her parents this year. They worked hard to bring her here.”

There was a long silence between them. Internally, she was disappointed that she wouldn’t hear what Dorothea talked to her about, but Bernadetta knew it was a time she could learn more about her from Manuela. “Do you know them?” She asked. “Her parents, I mean.”

“Her birth parents, no. I don’t even think she does.” Manuela said. “She was orphaned at a young age, but she managed to get by through singing on the streets.” She explained. “I remember her singing at the fountain in my town. I took her in for a while before finding a couple willing to take care of her. They were old, even by the time they adopted her. But they worked tooth and nail to raise her and send her to school eventually.”

Bernie hung her head for a moment. Dorothea, of all people, having a lonely upbringing for so long. Her heart hurt at the idea of someone like her enduring a harsh environment. “Well she’s amazing.” Bernie blurted out to Manuela. “She… she’s a good person. And that’s because of you.” She said.

“Oh dearie,” Manuela fanned her face. “Thank you.” She choked back. Bernadetta almost regretted her words briefly when the woman nearly broke into tears. “Sorry, these are hitting me harder than I thought.” She looked back at the girl. “How about we send her a picture, let her know we’re thinking about her?”

She didn’t even have time to respond, how could she when Manuela positioned herself behind Bernadetta, wrapping an arm gently around her shoulders. As much as she wanted to hate herself for it, Bernie felt herself get a little too happy when she felt something soft press into her back.

Taking a picture on her phone, Manuela looked it over before sending their picture. “Just to let her know we’re thinking about her. You look adorable in the photo by the way.”

More blushing, not much to the girls surprise. “Thank you…” She told her in a hushed voice. Bernie may never know if Manuela meant it truly, but it was something new to hear to be complimented in such a way. 

“Excuse me ladies.” Byleth butted in. “Sorry, need a place to put this.”

“Well,” Manuela’s eyes widened. “That’s quite an expensive bottle there.”

“Yeah,” The man started to explain. “Jeritza got it for me as a gift.” A grin forming on his face. “Never thought he and I would be good friends.”

“Oh honey.” Manuela cooed. While Bernie admitted she was certain no one has ever genuinely flirted with her, seeing her professor be so oblivious to being flirted with pained her heart.

“I also got something from Seteth yesterday, Rhea said my gift would be coming later. Also Flayn wanted to give me something also.” He explained.

  
  


“Geez professor, when did you get so popular?” Bernadetta commented, noting that someone new had entered the house.

“Yeah,” He responded, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s appreciative and all, but it feels weird when I don’t have anything to give back in return.”

Manuela was ready to respond, until she took notice of someone behind him. His voice called out, “Come on kid, how long are you gonna take to notice me?”

The way his entire face lit up when he heard that voice, and the way Byleth turned quickly to see who it was warmed Bernie’s heart. Looking over, an older, burly man awaited with open arms. “Merry Christmas kid.” He greeted.

“Dad!?” Byleth called out, nearly running across the room and into his father's arms.

Bernadetta never thought someone reuniting with their father would move her, but here she was watching her teacher be the happiest she had ever seen him. Edelgard shared the sentiment, covering her mouth with a hand in surprise. The room gained even more cheer thanks to the two.

“Man Leonnie is gonna be so pissed she’s not here.” Claude commented, getting a playful smack from Edelgard.

Manuela wasted no time in photographing the two hugging. “Come on you two, I need a picture of this.” She said. The father-son duo held each other by their shoulders, smiling at the camera as Rhea snuck into the photo as well.

“Hey Edelgard, want to join?” Byleth called out.

The house leader shook her head, as everyone else egged her on to go over. While she wouldn’t show it, Edelgard didn’t enjoy the idea of being close with Rhea at the moment. But for the spirit of the holidays, she mustered up the courage to walk over and join them. Smiling long enough for the picture to be taken. As the group dispersed, she stayed near her professors side, eager to meet the father of her favorite teacher.

Bernadetta made her way over, curiosity overriding her normal habits. “So, you’re Jeralt?” Edelgard introduced herself. “I’m Byleth’s student, leader of the Black Eagle house, Edelgard.”

Jeralt grinned as he shook her hand. “Look at you, hardly a year in and already on a first name basis with your students.” He said, patting his son on his shoulders. “Great to meet you, though.” Jeralt told Edelgard. “All of you home for the holidays?”

“Oh, no sir.” Edelgard shook her head. “Just myself, Hubert, Petra,” She pointed them out. “And Bernadetta.”

When Bernie felt herself all under Jeralts gaze, she instinctively turned away. Only a second passed before she looked back, the man having resumed conversation with his son and Edelgard, smiling fondly and laughing alongside them. Something about him set her at ease and made her feel safe. Yet, she didn’t have it in her to approach him.

“I’m glad to see Lady Edelgard able to get on the good side of someone like him.” Hubert stated, startling her. How long had he been standing there, she wondered. “Standing by her side for so long, I’ll admit seeing her like this is a very nice gift for the holidays.”

Looking back, Edelgard beamed in a photo she took alongside Byleth and Jeralt. As opposed to earlier, this time she appeared much happier alongside her teacher. His father could see the bond the two shared. “Sometimes I wish it could be me providing her with joy. But as long as she has someone who is capable.”

Turning to look at him, Bernadetta saw a look of longing in his eyes under the stone faced stare he always wore.” Hubert…” She called out.

“I wouldn’t worry too much, it’s for the better.” He brushed a loose strand of hair from his face. “Besides, the professor hasn’t passed the test of being worthy in my eyes yet.”

All the while Edelgard remained oblivious to the two, opting to spend more time with Byleth and getting to know his father. Hubert stared back with a sense of confliction before opting to step away, contempt with leaving her be for now. 

“That won’t be us, will it Bernie?” She asked herself quietly, unsure of what answer she wanted.

Considering her mission complete for now, Bernadetta retreated back to her room. She had been gone for much longer than she had anticipated. Looking over to her phone, she could see the notification light blinking.

Her messages were filled with texts from the group chat. Seem Dorothea shared a few of the photos she had received from Manuela, including the one with her and Bernie. Only after seeing it presented to everyone else did she have trouble looking at it. All of her friends now saw the face of a girl who might be enjoying the feeling of an older woman’s boobs pressed into her back.

She took solace in knowing that it seemed most comments expressed jealousy or simply didn’t care. It didn’t stop Caspar and Dorothea from pointing it out in her dm’s.

_ Caspar: “You look very happy,” _He had written, followed by an image of a smug cartoon character. 

_ Bernadetta: “I accepted alcohol from an older woman and look what happened. My parents will be so angry.” _

Probably, if they ever were to check in on her. They wouldn’t care about the time she had here anyways. Getting to Dorothea’s messages, she was surprised to see not one, but multiple dm’s from her.

_ Dorothea: “So happy for you two!” _

_ “Merry Christmas Bernie.” _

_ “Don’t be stealing my woman though, lol jk.” _

Bernie hesitated, mainly over replying with _ “No one said you couldn’t join us.” _ There was already enough lewdness in here to suffice for now. The one thing she did want to let her know that she was thinking about her today, more than her actual parents.

_ Bernadetta: “Merry christmas, we missed you.” _

To her surprise, she got a response rather quickly. Eagerly opening it, she was met with a picture of Dorothea with two much older adults next to her. Obviously her foster parents, they were older than Bernie’s parents judging by the photo. Yet the brunette looked so happy to be with them in the photo that her smile in itself was a gift for Bernie.

_ Dorothea: “I missed you guys. I told my parents about you and they mistook bernie for Birdy lmao.” _

It was impossible for Bernie to not giggle at that. Dorothea’s parents seemed like good people, and if today was anything to go by, good people always had good parents. She considered her good, someone great, with a hopeful upbringing. It wasn’t right to label herself as “bad” but it’s not like much of her childhood could account for that. Granted, Dorothea would remain as good when compared to Bernadetta.

‘Is a good person’s defining trait being able to love someone bad?’

She shook her head, not a good time to get into deep philosophy. Instead she responded, complimenting her friends smile.

_ Bernadetta: _ _ "__It’s great to see you happy.” _

_ Dorothea: “Well you won’t have to wait for too long, I’m coming back New Years eve.” _

She wanted to jump up and down on her bed in excitement at the news. Once the initial shock died down and she was able to lay in bed, Bernadetta rested her eyes finally. A nice Christmas nap to help ease her mind.

‘We’ll find out, won’t we.’ She told herself, drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry about the wait. The holiday season sucked the life out of me and I've been looking for it ever since. In the mean time, please enjoy this chapter as I get back to working on this more often.


	14. That New Bernie Smell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am once again asking for your kudos.
> 
> Also I plug fics a lot but if you haven't please go read Write Your Little Drunken Heart Out

Something about the year told Bernie that it shouldn’t end. What for, was the question on her mind. Was it the fact that she was huddled by a heater in a college basement getting stoned with people she had only met six months ago? Possibly, but she also couldn’t care less about where she was right now. Different environments meant a different mood, she learned. It’s not that she didn’t mind, when offered via text to join the others in the basement there was more of a thought to accept than to decline.

Perhaps entering the new year as the kind of Bernie would be beneficial.

Her house leader had left a while ago, on her way to the train station to pick up Dorothea. So here she sat in a circle, her eyes lightly tinted pink as the conversations played out before her.

“Now give it here.” Claude demanded.

“No, I want to hit what’s left.” Hilda argued, holding the bong to herself.

“You hit it first, don’t be greedy, bitch. Give it.” He demanded once more. 

Hilda, despite her reluctance to hand the bong over, giggled to herself at seeing how mad Claude got at her. Squeezing Marriane's hand, she looked among everyone else sitting with them. “By the way, super glad we’re all hanging out again.”

“What do you mean?” Sylvain spoke up. “We were just hanging out like five days ago.”

“Yeah but like, there were adults and stuff there.” She explained. “We didn’t have alcohol or anything.”

“What about mimosa’s?” Ingrid pointed out. “Manuela was serving them.”

The sound of a bong bubbling got everyone’s attention as Claude pulled the piece. “Oh boy,” He spoke, smoke emerging from his mouth. “It is not,” He paused to exhale. “A party of the Three Houses until someone has a mimosa.”

“I couldn’t even continue getting high.” Hilda complained.

“Continue?” Ingried asked.

“She had gummies.” Marianne explained.

“Yeah, of course she did.” Claude quipped, before cleaning the piece with a bobby pin. “Damn, Hilda go get more weed.”

“Why do I?” She asked.

“Because you have some.” He asserted. “Don’t hold out on us, it’s New Years eve.”

“Fine…” Hilda said, reaching into her pocket on her hoodie and pulling out a bag of green. “You owe me.” 

“You had it with you this whole time?” Claude argued.

“I just was holding onto it.” She defended herself.

Reluctantly, Claude handed her the bong. “You are not going to hit it first, be a good girl and let someone else have it. Perhaps your lovely girlfriend?” He pointed out. Marianne squeaked, shaking her head. A potent hit would send her into a place she might not enjoy.

Bernadetta could hardly contain her excitement. She hadn’t seen Dorothea in nearly two weeks. While she mainly kept the time to herself, staying in her room, sketching, and playing video games on her computer, she did end up using some of her free time to deepen the bonds with some of her classmates.

Petra compared her to a rabbit, which she wasn’t sure was a compliment or not. Edelgard, while still stern in her tone when speaking to her, did end up admitting to practicing painting. When asked to see them, Edelgard swiftly declined, something Bernie understood. When Hubert caught her late night embroidering again, he actually asked her about it, and expressed an interest in receiving one as a gift.

Come to think of it, Sylvain seemed to take a liking to any art she posted on Instagram. She wasn’t sure if he was being sincere or not with his comments being so positive.

“I feel like if Edelgard gets back we can ask if she has any.” Claude spoke up.

“Come on Claude,” Dimitri chided. “You know she wouldn’t want to if the professor ends up joining us tonight.”

“Oh yeah,” Claude laughed. “I mean she really let her hair down with him at the party. Who wouldn’t want to see that again.”

“I would think Edelgard wouldn’t be too much of a party of an animal around her teacher.” The blonde chided back. 

“Oh Dimitri,” He shook his head in return. “Everyone in this room knows that Edelgard would  _ love  _ to party harder with the teacher.”

“I… beg your pardon?” Dimitri blurted out, completely shocked and confused by Claude’s statements. “I don’t think Edelgard would do it out of some attraction for the professor.”

Claude only looked back at him. “Oh…” He moaned out, sticking his waist out from his seat as he back slid down the chair. “Oh god…” Claude moaned more in amusement. “He doesn’t know, guys.” He said, looking around the room. “He’s so dense, I love it.” 

Dimitri only sighed. “I wouldn’t take Edelgard to pine for someone like that,” He spoke. “While I’m sure he’s around her age, right…?”

Bernie was the only Black Eagle down there, and all eyes were on her. All she could do was shake her head at them. “I… I honestly don’t know.” The girl admitted.

“Is he a dad to the girl with green hair?” Sylvain asked, having his question ignored.

“See, I gotta know.” Hilda leaned forward. “I’m that bitch.” She repeated. 

“Would hitting all this plant jog your memory?” Claude offered her the bong.

She took the piece, feeling the pressure from her peers eyes yet not as bothered as usual. Flicking the lighter, Bernadetta inhaled into the bong as the sound of the front door closing upstairs caught her ears. Pulling the piece, she turned her head towards the sound of someone conversing upstairs.

“Oh, she’s home!” Ingrid practically bounced in her seat. “I’m gonna go say hi.” She said, getting up from her seat.

“How come you weren’t that excited for me when I got back from summer break?” Sylvain complained, knowing very well what kind of response he’d get.

“Dorothea’s pretty.” Ingrid retorted to him almost in the same breath. All the red head did was smirk in amusement. As she reached the door, she turned back to them. “Hey Bernie, you coming?”

She hadn’t moved from where she was, staring blankly at the door. On the other side, the voice of the woman she couldn’t stop thinking of. No one in her life had made her happier to interact with in the slightest in her entire life. The gears in her head turned, there was one thing that’d make this worth it, and involved spending as much time with her as possible.

Exhaling out all the smoke in her lungs, Bernie nodded. “Yeah.” She said, getting on to her feet.

The walk up the stairs was slower with each passing step, it seemed Ingrid couldn’t open the door fast enough. When they walked into the common room, heart heart raced when she saw Dorothea standing in the doorway with Edelgard, already talking to Petra.

She took a step forward and was met with Ingrid sprinting forward, running into Dorothea with open arms, who greeted her the same in return. Bernadetta was apprehensive as she took her steps forward toward the brunette.

“Hi sweetie,” Dorothea greeted her. “I missed you a bunch this holiday.” She told Ingrid. “Were you here waiting for me?”

“Yeah,” Ingrid told her, pulling away from their embrace. “We’re kinda having a new years eve get together here. Everyone’s in the basement getting stoned.” She explained.

“Alright, give me a few minutes and I’ll join you.” Dorothea said, reaching down to grab her bag before turning her head to the side. “Hi Bernie.” She said,

“Hi…” Bernadetta greeted, leaning in to wrap both arms around her, not caring where her face was touching. Dorothea returned the gesture with her free arm, leaning her face towards her. 

“I missed you.” Dorothea admitted.

“I… me too.” Bernadetta agreed. When the brunette got a good look at her and saw the look on her friend's face, she burst into a fit of giggles.

“Okay, I’ll see you guys down there in a bit.” The brunette told them.

As soon as she was out of eye sight, Bernie reached for her phone. Opening her messaging app, she typed furiously on her phone to Caspar.  _ “I think tonight’s the night.”  _ She messaged him. Wasting no time in waiting for a reply, she returned the basement with ingrid, Edelgard and Petra following them.

Within the basement, things had become slightly heated with what appeared to be a playful argument, with Sylvain standing up, pointing at Claude while Hilda did her best to suppress her laughter and Dimitri his his face in his palm. The Golden Deer leader seemed delighted at the sight of Edelgard and the others. “Good, you guys can clear this up.”

“No!” Sylvain shouted. “Don’t bring them into this!” He told Claude.

“Do you think-” Claude started.

“No Claude.” Sylvain said once more.

“Shut up, I want to hear this.” Hilda interjected, her girlfriend amused by their behavior.

“Do you think in five years from now Sylvain will be a sound cloud lofi rapper?” Claude asked.

“Why would musician making be bad?” Petra asked.

“No see, this guy makes it sound like I’ll write a song about any girl I like.” Sylvain accused.

Claude smirked. “And you think I’m wrong.” 

“No, I just wouldn’t do that.” The red head argued with him.

“Would you write an ep the moment you found out your favorite e-girl has a boyfriend?” Ingrid joked.

Sylvain opened his mouth to respond but succumbed to laughter, the room joining in on his misfortune. The red head wheezed as he clutched his sides. Claude had settled down long enough to hit the bong, Sylvain taking the time to hit back.

“Yeah Claude, I can see you being a corrupt businessman or something. You could probably pollute a river just for shits and giggles.” He argued. 

Claude raised his head, blowing out smoke at him. “Fuck you.” He called out, laughing after a brief silence. 

“Why are you booing me, I’m right.” Sylvain countered.

“Nah you’re probably right.” Claude nodded. “I could probably see that happening in my darkest timeline.” He turned his head. “Like, in Dimitri’s darkest timeline, I can see him mugging people on the streets.”

All the blonde did was raise an eyebrow in amusement. “Do tell, Claude.” He poked. “I’m curious why you would think that of me.”

“I dunno man just, if you were homeless, you’d mug every person you’d come across.” Claude explained, trying not to laugh. “Like, I can see you going up to someone and,” He flipped the lighter in his hand to impersonate a knife. “Aye, give me all your money. Oh sick, you got the new Yeezys on man those shits will look nice when I have them on my feet.” He acted, gaining a few chuckles.

Dimitri leaned forward, trying to hide his laughter from Claude, not wanting to give his friend the satisfaction of knowing he enjoyed the portrayal of a criminalized version of himself. As the group shared another laugh, Dorothea had opened the door, calling out to all those in attendance.

“Hello, hello.” She had announced to everyone, and was soon met with a volley of cheers from those who hadn’t seen her yet. Bernie watched from a distance as her friend had received much affection from everyone, in awe at the kind of person that could win the whole room over by just being there.

Once the excitement settled down, Claude filled her in on their topic. “The topic is where we’ll be in the future, but our darkest timeline. Sylvains a sad boi lofi rapper on soundcloud, Dimitri will mug people.”

“What about me?” Edelgard interrogated. “What’ll be my darkest timeline?”

“Corrupt politician.”

“That I can see.” She agreed.

“Like, you even kill the people who write articles about you on The Onion that’s how bad you’d be.” Claude told her.

“Well, it just means no one should run against me for their sake.” She told him, tossing her hair over her shoulder in an overconfident grin.

“Holy crap I knew it.” Claude hissed to his friends, despite her being in ear shot. “She’s a stone blooded killer I called it.” He said, offering anyone the bong. When no one accepted. Bernadetta stepped forward, accepting his offer.

“Hey Claude, what’ll be my darkest timeline?” Dorothea made the mistake of asking.

“You’re gonna star in an adult film where you get stuck under the table and your step brother takes advantage of you.” Claude stated.

Bernadetta pulled the piece and gagged on the smoke, her face burning before her lungs as she coughed violently. Her reaction stood out the most amongst the others, with Dorothea hiding her hands in her face, kneeling over before sticking her middle finger out at Claude.

“You think that’s bad, in this timeline you have a sugar daddy.” He said to her.

“Well,” She briefly pondered. “That part doesn’t sound so bad.”

“He’s terrible in bed.” Claude chimed in.

“Oh god that’d be a terrible life.” Dorothea dreaded. “Rather get with a homeless person who gives it to me good, lest I succumb to whatever sickness they carry.”

“Yeah, beats some old guy giving it to you from behind, panting the whole time like “here I go, here I go, here I go.” Claude said, doing an old man's voice.

Bernadetta’s head was too heavy for her shoulders, but when she saw the house leader fake hip movements she lost it, laughing far too loud for her own good. Everyone around her took notice as she struggled to catch her breath. “Get Bernie some water before she dies.” Sylvain called out. Petra had quickly retrieved a bottle for her as the girl managed to slightly recover, downing a quarter of the bottle before failing to verbally signal the others she would be going back upstairs.

Within the common room, Bernadetta was able to find a lonely seat and catch her breath. Perhaps she indulged too heavily on a vice for the time being, and Claude’s antics were contributing to her behavior. Why did he have to be so damn funny, she thought. Didn’t Claude know that shew as making Bernie look stupid by laughing really hard in front of Dorothea thanks to his dumb jokes.

Grabbing her phone, she looked to see Caspar had responded.  _ “Lmao best of luck then”  _ was his message, and Bernie could feel the humorous encouragement from him. Admittedly, she missed him deeply also. He was a good friend to her this past year, and he at least deserved the recognition as being one of the few people she could feel was genuinely nice to her.

“There’ll be an even better Bernie next year thanks to you.” She spoke aloud, wishing he was there to hear it.

From the basement did Edelgard and Dorothea emerge, beelining to the fridge. “Just grab me one, try to stop me before I get to drunk.” The brunette told her friend.

“Perfect,” Edelgard smiled. “You can take care of me when I drink too much.”

“Careful now, I might have to keep you in my room if it comes to that.” Dorothea told her, winking at Edelgard. The silver haired girl blushed heavily in response, struggling to respond properly.

“W-well… I’m uh, wouldn’t be so sure if Hubert would be pleased with that.” She said, opting to instead start drinking instead of coming up with a proper response.

While Dorothea giggled in delight, Bernadetta stared longingly. “Gosh, please flirt with me.” She thought. To be the lucky girl Dorothea would flirt with and fluster, to kiss her when the clock turns midnight and still let her sleep in another girl's bed. “It’s what she deserves.” Bernie told herself. “All these people want her because she’s so hot I should make friends with them over it.” She thought to herself, before giggling. “Hehe, making friends.”

Dimitri and Claude had emerged from the basement with Hilda in tow. The Blue Lion’s leader had noticed the group upstairs. “We’re going outside.” He announced, keeping a cigarette tucked behind his ear. “You’re free to join.”

It was unanimous between the pair to join them, and Bernadetta followed, not wanting to be left alone just yet. Outside the air was bitter and cold, it wasn’t long before Bernadetta felt her teeth chattering. The night was mildly cloudy, yet still chill enough to make everyone in the circle shiver.

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t think all of you would follow me.” Dimtri said, placing the cigarette into his mouth.

“I mean it’s fine,” Edelgard told him. “Would be tragic to have you freeze all alone out here.” She teased.

“Yeah and besides you’re our friend, and we love you.” Claude said, planting a kiss on his cheek.

The blond stayed unphased, lighting the paper and puffing smoke. Bernie tried her best to not think of her parents when she smelled it, focused on mainly staying warm.

“Don’t worry guys, this is my last time doing this.” Dimitri admitted. “New year so figured I might as well quit now.”

Claude was the first to express congrats, patting his friend on the back. “Proud of you, bud.”

Edelgard smiled. “I’m happy to see you make the right choice.” She said, fidgeting where she stood, struggling to keep a grip on her drink. “I am so proud and I have to go inside or my hand will fall off.”

“It’s fine, Edel.” Dimitri told her. Once she got the confirmation, she ran back inside. Even with the door closed could they hear her gasp in freezing agony.

Dorothea smirked, “Lucky for me I had gloves in my pocket.” She said, keeping her drink in hand.

“So are we gonna talk about how well she got along with the professor’s dad on christmas?” Hilda brought up. It was common for Dimitri’s smoke breaks to turn into gossip sessions when there were minimal people around.

“I mean his dad was something, Hils.” Claude agreed. “She has good tastes. I would transfer to his class in a heartbeat.” He exaggerated, receiving a response of disgust.

“Come on guys, it’s not the place to gossip about Edie’s love life.” Dorothea pestered half heartedly. She wouldn’t admit that she herself was also just as curious.

“Come on Dorothea, you know that I’m always interested in this kind of stuff.” Claude argued, looking straight at her. “I’m that bitch.” He mocked.

No one seemed to pick up on it, Hilda had hardly any response to her catchphrase being taken, so why did Bernadetta find it so funny. First it was a giggle, then a chuckle, then a full on laugh. Claude took pride in breaking someone with humor, and pressed on more.

“Did you see them sing together?” He asked.

“Yes.” Dorothea stated to him. “Okay she probably does.”

“Bingo!” Claude exclaimed, pumping a fist.

“That was great seeing her like that, me and Bernie watched the whole thing.” Dorothea reminisced, looking at her friend. “Glad that was something I remember.”

“Me too.” Bernie agreed loudly. Her face began to turn red when she realized what she said. Admitting something like that outloud seemed pretty close to a confession, yet no one seemed to pay her much attention when she said it. 

“Oh Bernie, your face is red.” Dorothea exclaimed. “Here, take this.” She said, taking her hat off of her head and putting it on Bernie’s. “It’s not much, so make sure you go inside and get warm soon.”

She was overwhelmed by this overprotective to the point of overbearing version of Dorothea, yet Bernie tried her best to keep her head straight. “Yes… ma’am.” She said. 

“Fall back, Bernie.” She told herself. Without much of a word, she hurried back indoors. Rubbing her hands as quickly as she could, she could finally shake off the cold air. Reaching for her head, she felt the hat. It was made of felt, and the chill air could be felt on it still yet it made her feel more warm than ever. Dorothea had given her one of her hats, even if just for the night. 

“Something magical is happening, Bernie.” She told herself. “We’re gonna make history tonight.” The girl said, psyching herself up.

“Easy there, nights not too young.” Edelgard called from the kitchen. Paying no mind to Bernie’s minor shrieks, she only took a sip of her beer. “Nice hat, by the way.”

“Ah.” Bernie grabbed it, her cheeks glowing red. “Oh uh… yeah.” She relaxed her posture. “Dorothea gave it to me.” She spoke.

“Looks cute on you, I can see why she’d let you have it.” Edelgard told her.

For a moment, Bernadetta had trouble taking the compliment. Her hat was given out of a need of pity, of seeing a cold Bernie out in the night. Instead, she could think of one person who could wear it better than her.

“Well, I think it looks better on Dorothea.” Bernadetta told her. “But thank you.”

There was a delayed silence, and for a second she feared she had crossed some sort of line she didn’t see. Instead, Edelgard smiled and turned to her. “You should try telling her that yourself.” She said, raising her bottle to her.

“Uh…” Now she was frozen. Her very words turned against her in a manner of just once sentence. Edelgard flashed a knowing smile that made Bernadetta almost tremble under her gaze. Could she have figured it out, she wondered. Her house leader was very cunning at times, it wouldn't be too out of the ordinary for her to pick up on Bernadetta’s feelings for someone so close to her.

Yet at the same time, Bernie remembered that Edelgard couldn’t figure out her own feelings for the professor, so she figured she’d be probably safe.

The group had returned indoors. “Clocks ticking.” Claude told the group. “Let’s go get the others from the basement, we got ten minutes.” He announced.

As everyone settled in, Bernadetta made her way over to Dorothea, who sat alone drinking a beer. “H-hey…” She approached. “Th-thanks for the hat.”

“Oh of course Bernie, it looks great on you.” She said, placing the bottle down. “Here,” The brunette pulled out her phone. “How about we take a picture?”

How could Bernie ever resist photographing a moment with Dorothea. Hopping into the spot next to her on the couch. She leaned close, trying her best to look sober as Dorothea snapped a couple of pics. “So adorable. Though not as lock screen worthy as our first party pic.” She told her.

Bernadetta couldn’t help if she got flustered, even after she had admitted to having an edit of their first selfie together as her phone wallpaper. Dorothea leaned in close as she hugged her close. “I just want to say, you’ve been one of the greatest people I’ve met this year.”

Bernadetta hardly had the strength to return the affection, fighting back tears in her eyes. “Thank you…” was the only thing she could get out. She wanted to tell her right then and there. Admit it all, pour her very soul out to Dorothea from on the couch and worry about stains later.

Yet it didn’t feel right just yet. It was a party, there were people around, and Bernie wasn’t entirely sure Dorothea had ever recovered from her breakup. But even then, the girl deserved to know that she was taking up a special place in her heart as well.

“Dorothea… I really think you’re great.” She started. How was she to word it properly without turning into a full blown love confession. “You’ve been a great friend, someone I really admire… Thank you for being my friend.”

Honesty was always the best policy.

Pulling away, Bernadetta couldn’t feel a blush on her face. Dorothea looked back at her and smiled. “Here’s to a brand new year.”

“Yeah,” She agreed. “Together…” Her words seemed unsure, only to be reaffirmed with a hand on her shoulder.

“Together.” Dorothea seconded.

Before she could reach up and meet her hand, Dorothea had turned over to see Ingrid and Sylvain walking up the stairs. “There you guys are. We don’t have all night.”

“She wouldn’t let me leave.” Sylvain stated sarcastically. “She threatened me.”

“I sure did.” Ingrid proclaimed, wearing an over proud smile.

“That’s my girl.” Dorothea told her.

It wasn’t long before it soon close to the countdown. Bernadetta admitted she never thought she’d see herself participating in this much socialization in her final minutes of the year, but here she was. Turns out, Ingrid was rough and scary, but maybe just the kind of friend she needed. Though she wasn’t sure she was at that part yet. The two hadn’t left Dorothea’s side at all for the rest of the night. 

Crowded around the tv, the group watched as the clock ticked down the final minute. Bernadetta felt an arm wrap around her close and looked over to see Ingrid wrapped in Dorothea’s arm as well. Everyone had counted down to the last second, erupting in cheers when the timer hit zero.

“HAPPY NEW YEARS!” Everyone in the room yelled, sharing many hugs all around. The only silent duo was Marianne and Hilda, who entered the new year in a deep kiss.

As for Dorothea, she looked over to see Ingrid staring up at her. “Happy new years.” She said, leaning up and giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

Bernadetta may not get the new years kiss she wanted, but part of her still felt brave.” Uhm… Dorothea.” She said, getting the girls attention as quickly as she could. “Happy new years.” She said. And by the very edge of her toes did she managed to reach the height to plant a kiss on Dorothea's cheek.

For her, Dorothea couldn’t have been happier with friends like them. “Thank you guys…” She said, hugging them close. There was only one place she would never want to leave, and Bernadetta and Ingrid, and all of her friends had brought her there. “I love you all so much…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess which part of this fic I base heavily off of my real world experience.


	15. Bernies decides f*ck it, takes initiative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter goes out to Velveeta you guys rule

All around them did bodies lie still, scattered in red. They had lost several men storming the hill, and they lost even more keeping it. From behind her visor, Bernadetta saw all the carnage around her that she and the others had caused. She herself was commended for her excellent marksmanship, despite it being her first time on the battlefield.

“You left us with no choice, Dimitri.” Edelgard spoke, standing before the Blue Lions leader.

“Damn you, Edelgard.” He growled in defiance. “You have the professor on your side. You never were one to fight fair.”

“Don’t let your failure get the better of you,” She taunted. “If you couldn’t outsmart your opponents then your defeat is swiftly earned.”

“Lay off him, Edie.” Claude said, having his arms raised above his head. “You won, no need to rub it in.”

“What is your fear of losing for once?” Dimitri nearly yelled. “Every damn day with this, you never once seemed to hear me out.”

“This is clearly more than just a loss to you.” She stated. “If you want, we can discuss this later, if you’re willing to be civil, that is.”

“Look guys, we should have worked out our differences before this even got here.” Claude spoke again. “Dimitri, you need to take it back a few and clear your head. Edie, you need to stop trying to trample over anyone who disagrees with you at all.”

Glancing to the Golden Deer leader, she gave a solemn nod. Hubert wasted no time in raising his arm and firing a round into his head, his body fell to the ground.

“DAMN YOU!” Dimitri said, pointing his gun at them. “I’ll never forgive you for-”

He was met with a volley of fire from Edelgard, who’s finger never left the trigger. All Bernie could do was watch, knowing well this was the cost of war between them all.

* * *

  
  


“Damn, you guys take paintball seriously.” Claude called out to them, nursing the side of his head as he left with Edelgard and Dimitri.

Having changed back to her regular clothes, Bernadetta checked over herself. She made sure not to get hit a single time out of fear of how it would feel. Looking over, she saw Caspar running towards her.

“Gah!” She placed her hands up defensively, but Caspar picked her up in his arms and spun her around, much to her dismay.

“You were so badass!” He told her. “Man, you hit targets further than I was able to see.”

“PUT ME DOWN!” She squealed, hitting him in the back as strong as she could.

Chuckleing at her futile attempts, Caspar set her back on her feet. It took some convincing, or just a mild suggestion with no pressure whatsoever, for Bernadetta to join her classmates in paintballing. They had waited for weeks till it was nearly the end of January before the weather finally permitted for the Three Houses to meet for their traditional three way match.

“Next time I’ll try not to get tagged, we’d make a great team.” Caspar told her.

Seeing her friends shrug off getting shot by something that she’s been told feels akin to getting hit by a golf ball so casually made her admire them. Dorothea took a hit in the chest rather well, despite claiming how bad her “chest” hurt afterwards. In return, Bernadetta managed to land one on Sylvain for revenge.

“Thanks for avenging me, Bernie.” Dorothe surprised her from behind, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. “Didn’t think you’d be so efficient out there.”

Turning quickly to face her, breaking out of her hold, the girl rubbed the back of her head. “Well I mean yeah, uh. I uh, I play lots of video games.” She told her, trying to accept the compliment as best as she could.

“I mean when you got Ashe from behind the tree, my jaw dropped.” Caspar told her.

“I know, what a sharpshooter.” The brunette agreed. 

As the group conversed with themselves, Hilda and Marianne walked over. “Hey guys.” The pink haired girl greated. “We were thinking of going to the movies with Ingrid and Sylvain. Wanna come with?”

Bernadetta was ready to decline, but her thoughts were overshadowed at Caspar and Dorothea’s enthusiastic response.

“Yes, I’d love to.”

“Fuck yeah I would,”

That listed off two of her friends she couldn’t hang out with at the dorms now. Everyone else had gone home, the house leaders returning home without speaking much to each other, something was apparently common after a tense paintball match.

“I… I guess I can.” Bernadetta told them.

“Great!” Hilda cheered, raising her and Marianne’s hand in the air. “Come on, let’s go.”

As the group made their way through town, Bernadetta came to the enlightening conclusion on what this actually meant. Movie theaters were the perfect place for a date, and here she was with a group of friends that included Dorothea.

“Plan this right, Bernie.” She told herself. “You sit next to her, we’ll plan this out perfectly.”

While sitting next to her wasn’t going to have her fall in love, Bernie knew it would plant the seeds for something that could blossom into a wonderful thing later. Sitting next to each other could open up the possibility of them doing it again, just them alone, and hopefully be able to say it was a date.

“Okay so, what are we seeing?” Hilda asked the group.

There were many discussions. It ws January, so most new releases were terrible. Most of the group had seen some of the holiday blockbusters and refused to watch again. The heated debate raged all the way up until they were at the box office.

Eventually they decided on a movie, only to be told it was mostly sold out, which meant they settled on a different one instead. When Hilda and Marianne bought their tickets, Bernadetta made sure her placement was next to Dorothea.

The brunette bought her ticket, and Caspar stepped forward. “I’ll sit in uh…” He told the worker, before turning to the group. “Where are we sitting again?”

“Seriously?” Sylvain called out, earning a playful slap from Ingrid.

Looking over, he saw Bernadetta watching him with bated breath. While he wasn’t the smartest, he knew exactly what she was after. “Go ahead,” He told Bernie.

“Was that really a hard thing for you to do?” Sylvain joked.

“Yes.” Caspar stated bluntly, laughing a little.

Bernadetta was able to purchase the seat next to hers. Holding her ticket in hand, she idolised the paper, knowing it was her pass to sit close to her crush. “Aw man, I wanted to sit next to Dorothea.” Ingrid pouted.

“Oh,” Dorothea looked at her tickets. “Me and Bernie can switch. I’ll sit between you two.” She said, smiling.

“Alright then, I’ll sit next to my dear friend Ingrid.” Sylvain proclaimed, purchasing his ticket. “I’m sure she’ll be glad to be seated next to someone who cares as much for her as they do for me.” He said, grinning to himself at how disgusted she looked.

“I can sit in between you two if you’d like.” Caspar offered to Ingrid.

“Thank you but I like to keep him in arms reach so I can strangle him at a moment's notice.” Ingrid stated.

Everyone, especially Sylvain, was taken back by her comment. “You are Dimitri’s friend.” The red head pointed out. “Let’s head inside.”

Movie theaters were often a daunting place for Bernadetta. On one hand, it was a dark room with a film playing for her to enjoy. It was often secluded, and people were all there to experience the same thing she was. So long as no one sat next to her, or talked loudly, or were rude to the staff in the lobby she would enjoy herself.

It could go one of two ways, and Bernie was hoping for the pleasantries of this visit to the cinema. Her plan was simple, sit next to Dorothea, perhaps interact with her a little, just enough, for her to enjoy being with Bernie. Afterwards, ask if they’d like to go again sometime with just the two of them.

“Bernie taking initiative.” She grinned to herself. It was a new year, and she was going to make it one to remember.

Once they were all seated, Bernie looked around her. Dorothea was already talking to Ingrid and the others on the way in, and Marianne and Hilda were focused on each other. Knowing it was best to not bother the couple, and with the brunette so deep in the conversation, it’d be impossible to join her talk, Bernadetta opted to sit in silence and plan her next move.

Then the previews came on. At least there was the relief that Dorothea knew how to be quiet when she was interested in something, as she hardly said a word during them. If it was for a movie she wasn’t interested in she would look at her phone. Bernie kept notes, she laughed during comedies, would roll her eyes at cliche horror movies, and expressed interest in romance films. All of these were important to Bernie, knowing it would be best to learn what Dorothea enjoyed the most and seeing what would be in their league to see together. Not something she would want to save for someone special, something she had to be interested enough to see on a casual level with her.

Once the movie started Bernadetta’s mind wandered elsewhere. Just how to interact with her aside from the basis of commenting on the movie. She didn’t want to be rude, maybe it was best she just ignored it for now. Whatever experience this was was the one they’d get given the chance that Dorothea would go with her again.

So here she was, sitting in between a group of friends, something she wasn’t entirely used to. Infact, she was so unused to it that she had no clue where to place her hands. She usually would grip the arm rests during certain scenes, yet every time her hand went it’d almost always accidentally grab Dorothea’s.

“Bernie, stop grabbing my hand.” She whispered.

“Sorry.” Was all she could squeak out at that moment.

To make Dorothea mad at her was something Bernie feared. Doing her best to override her brain before it sent her into a full meltdown, Bernie reassured herself that Dorothea wasn’t upset… just annoyed, or inconvenience, which is still bad, but not terrible. For now, it’d be best to just watch the movie.

* * *

  
  


Edelgard sat at the table, hand in head. It seemed Dean Rhea was once again attempting to regulate on how certain professors could teach their courses and like always she was always the loudest opposing critic.

“The nerve of that woman.” She groaned in annoyance. 

“Do you think it has something to do with hiring Professor Byleth?” Hubert asked.

She didn’t think too much about him. As far as she was concerned, he was just as confused, if not more, by her demands. Edelgard now more than ever didn’t want Rhea to force yet another teacher to leave them.

“I doubt it. That woman’s had it out for us for a while now.” Edelgard detested. “I can tell Dimitri’s all for it, and Claude just doesn’t care.” Sighing, she stood up. “I think it’s best we drop this topic for now, we’ll wait and see.”

“Right.” Hubert agreed.

It was only a few more minutes of needed silence before the door swung open, in walking Caspar, with Dorothea and Bernadetta following. “Totally called it.” He proudly proclaimed. “Saw the ending coming a mile away.”

“Caspar I knew the ending within the first 30 minutes, this isn’t that much of a bragging accomplishment.” Dorothea told him.

“Says you.” He responded. “What about you Bernie? Could you tell where the plot was going with that one from the start?”

She didn’t want to concern her friends, but she figured she’d be honest. “Oh, between all that and paintballing, Bernie’s brain was off for most of the movie.”

“Yeah, you kept grabbing my hand.” Dorothea teased.

“I’m sorry! It was my first time going to the movies with friends and I usually grab the arm rests.” She tried to explain.

Dorothea giggled at her. “No, it’s fine. I was just trying to eat popcorn. My hands had butter all over them.”

Bernadetta hung her head down a little, before raising it back up. “I uh… had fun.” She admitted.

“Yeah? I’m really glad.” Dorothea told her, ruffling her hair. Bernie found herself flustered with the affection given to her, making it difficult to speak up next.

“Well you guys have fun, I got a lot of studying to catch up on.” Caspar told them, walking up the stairs to his dorm.

Looking back at Dorothea, Bernie bit her tongue. Oh to be the courageous one who could ask someone, even just a friend, to see a movie together. “Come on Bernie, we already saw one with her next to us.” She thought to herself.

Glancing over, she saw Dorothea talking to Edelgard and Hubert, looking a little serious. She couldn’t make out the topic of the conversation but could tell it was not the time to ask Dorothea to hang out. “Not yet, wait for your chance.” She told herself.

Taking a seat on the couch, she checked her phone. All she could hear was them conversing with something involving Rhea, and perhaps school life in general. “Damn, it’s something serious they’re talking about.” She chided internally.

There was only so long Bernadetta could eavesdrop before she realized that the room forgot she was there. “All right, fall back Bernie. We can’t win this one.” She told herself, getting up from her spot. “I’m going to my room.” she announced to them. No one seemed to acknowledge her words and she left without saying anything else.

Closing the door behind her, Bernadetta let out a sigh and sat on her bed. Was today really great, or just bad? She got to spend time with friends, tried something new that she thought was really fun. “I mean, we did go see a movie with Dorothea.” was the main thought on her mind.

Sure Dorothea was there, but so were six others, all of whom Dorothea was much better at talking to than her. All of them are much better at talking with others than Bernadetta. She gripped her hair, knowing that falling into despair wasn’t going to help her. 

“I mean, Marianne and Hilda were there as a couple.” She pondered. “They were focused on each other. Seemed like Ingrid wanted to be close to Sylvain to pester and discipline him if he stepped out of line. As for Dorothea and Caspar, well…” She smiled. “Dorothea was still nice, she didn’t stay angry after I grabbed her hand. Caspar, he’s our friend, we shouldn’t dismiss time spent with him just because we don’t have a crush on him.”

Her phone buzzed, but she ignored it. “No Bernie, we had a good day outdoors today. Your mind is trying to bamboozle you into thinking it wasn’t.” She told herself. “It’s the first step to getting Dorothea to like you. You’re a fun girl, you got… qualities.” Smiling alone, she patted her shoulder. “It’s a new year and we’re starting off better than before. We can build it from here.” 

Lying on her bed and turning on her speaker, she vowed to put on some music and relax for now. As she bobbed her head along, she thought of what was next for her and Dorothea. “I mean, Valentine's day is coming…” 

Her eyes popped open. “Valentines Day…” She whispered. That was it, that’s what she needed. The day where she could truly show how much appreciation she had for Dorothea. Nearly flying off of her mattress, she quickly found a sketchpad and got to work. “You and I,” She said to only herself. “We’re going to show just how much we love her, and she’ll love us back.”

No parents to make her feel otherwise, she thought. There wasn’t going to be anyone who put down her feelings or belittled her for having them. Her mind was in full focus mode, Bernie fueling her dedication. Someone like Dorothea deserved to be loved, and Bernadetta wanted her to know that she’d get it from her.

First was a practice sketch, which was finished relatively quickly. Holding it up and looking it over, she felt proud of what she had already made. “Bernie is going into overdrive.” She said, grabbing her phone to look for a reference.

Her lock screen of them at the party was her main inspiration. A picture of them, friend _ ship  _ art would be her gift to her. “Time to get to work.” Bernie said, before noticing the messages in the group chat.

_ Dorothea: “Hey guys Edie’s making me do a shopping run anyone want to come with?  _

That message was sent ten minutes ago, no doubt she was probably already at the store. “There will be another time, Bernie.” She told herself. Maybe it was best she had stayed here, lest she risk pushing it further with spending more time with Dorothea. “Then again, aren’t we supposed to get used to spending more time with her?”

She shook her head, it’d be unwise if she planned too far ahead. “We’re not getting married…” Was the first thing she thought. “But… that’d be nice.”

A beautiful ceremony, flower petals falling gently to the ground. The seats filled with anyone who was ever nice to her that wasn’t her parents. And at the end, being walked down the aisle would be Dorothea, clad in the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. Caspar would have to hold Bernie up to prevent her from falling over and crying.

“For now, let’s focus on setting up a foundation.” Bernadetta told herself.

She could lose herself in drawing Dorothea forever, something she’d happily do more of in person.

* * *

  
  


“...and yeah. Dug up some old books they probably didn’t want me to have.” Lindhardt explained. “I keep hearing about underground tunnels that apparently go directly under our campus.”

Dorothea tried her best not to roll her eyes, focusing instead on pushing the cart. “Yeah, I’m sure of it.” 

“You are free to not believe me.” He threw his hands up dramatically. “If you think you don’t believe, Caspar doesn’t even believe underground tunnels exist anymore.”

While her friend went on, Dorothea let her mind wander elsewhere. Shopping for groceries for the dorm was something she enjoyed doing. It gave her a purpose to provide for someone. While that may be ramen cups and shells and cheese, it was still something she could bring for people. “See, I’m a good caretaker.” She thought to herself. “They’d be proud of you.” The brunette thought to herself. Oh to be the wife of someone she could make dinner for and take care of.

“I’m aware you stopped listening, but I do appreciate the feedback of disbelief earlier so I forgive it.” Lindhardt said, the few words that actually caught her attention.

“Sorry Lin but it is so hard to take you seriously when you’re sitting in a shopping cart.”

Uncrossing his legs, letting them dangle outside of the cart, he leaned his head back. “You asked, and I came with you.” He argued.

“Yes, I know.” She placed an affectionate hand on his shoulder. “And thank you.” She told him. “I very much appreciate you being here.”

“Thank you, I’ll extend my appreciation to you as well, Caspar would make the ride rough for purposely whenever I go to the store with him.”

Taking a bag of chips, she dropped them onto his chest. “Thank you.” She grinned at him. “I’ll make you a special dinner tonight just to make up for it.” Her voice gave a sweet and kind impression.

“I am probably going to pass out before it’s made.” Lindhardt objected. “Besides, what can you make with,” He reached over to his side, digging around until he showed her a box. “Shells and cheese.”

“I will make you,” Dorothea quickly swung around to the front of the cart. “The greatest goddamn mac and cheese you have ever had in your life.” 

Cracking a grin at her enthusiasm, Lindahradt looked back at her. “Just ask anyone in the house if they want some. I’m sure you’ll find someone who’ll eat your delectable pre packaged shells and cheese.” He corrected her.

Grabbing her phone, Dorothea held out the camera and snapped a photo of the two, Lin giving a peace sign in the background.

_ “To anyone who is hungry, who wants mac and cheese? Lin won’t eat any :(, _ She captioned.

Putting her phone back, Dorothea resumed her shopping, paying for and bagging the groceries. Linhardt complained the whole walk home about having to carry some of the bags. Bursting through the door, she announced “Momma’s home” to an empty common room. Her face falling at the lack of response she got.

“Sorry, I think everyone’s busy tonight.” Lin said, placing groceries on the counter. Luckily there wasn’t much to put away so they were done relatively quickly. Once all was done did Lin retreat back to his room, almost falling asleep on the stairs on the way up.

Grabbing a pot and boiling some water, Dorothea sat alone at the table staring at the box of shells and cheese. “I mean, providing for yourself isn’t so bad either.” She reminded yourself. “You get to eat all of this mac and cheese to yourself and get fat and no one will be there to judge you because you’ll be all alone.”

Balling up a fist and resting it on her forehead, Dorothea sighed. It wasn’t fair to feel like this, this wasn’t particularly her classmates fault that they weren’t around to validate her feelings of making them some cheap food. Them all hanging out earlier with her, and being happy while with them, didn’t make her feel any better.

“Uhm… Dorothea.” Bernadetta spoke up behind her. “I saw your text... “ She held up her phone, showing her phone for example. “I… I’d like some.” 

The brunette looked back at her, a small grin forming on her face. “Of course, Bern.” 

It was something parents made for their kids when they didn’t feel like cooking a real dinner, but the two loved it. “I mean, I actually have cooked food for my parents before.” Bernie told her. “On my own times, actually.” She corrected, though not sure to what extent Dorothea knew the context for.

“Yeah, my parents didn’t have the money for exquisite cuisines.” The brunette explained, scouring the fridge. “That’s why you make lemonade with lemons.” She told her, grabbing a bottle of hot sauce. Dabbling a few drops into her bowl, she stirred herself her own bowl of shells and cheese.

“Oh, can I try a little of that in mine.” Bernie asked, holding out her bowl. Dorothea obliged in giving a few drops as well. When she took a bite, Bernie almost exaggerated how could she thought it was, something Dorothea would secretly appreciate.

“This is the best college meal I’ve ever had.” Bernie told her. Dorothea instead opened up her arms and wrapped the girl in a tight hug. “Uhm! What are you doing…?”

Dorothea smiled. “Thanks Bernie, I needed to hear that tonight.” She said, pulling away. The two continued eating, and Dorothea discussed more gossip with her.

“How do I apply for underground classes?” Bernadetta asked her as soon as the topic came up.

Dorothea held a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. “I don’t think that’s a real thing Bernie.” She told her. “Lindhardt is… you know.” She tried to explain.

Holding her head down to hide a grin, Bernadetta told her “I bet a place like that would make for cool photos.” She said.

“Oh really?” Dorothea stirred some of her bowl. “I bet you’d take great photos of a place like that.” As soon as she saw Bernie get flustered from the compliment, Dorothea went on the offensive. “I’ve seen you instagram, you do some pretty cool stuff.”

Bernadetta grabbed her hood and pulled it over her head, she couldn’t falter now. “No Bernie, she’s flirting.” She thought to herself. “No she isn’t she’s being nice. If she’s flirting then so is Sylvain and our problems will multiply tenfold if that’s the case.” 

But there was another option. Bernie was trying to get herself on a roll and there was a great opportunity here. Something she had always wanted to confess to Dorothea was on his tongue, and she would flawlessly deliver it to her.

“Well, if you want, I mean I’ve always wanted to.” She started, Dorothea listening to her. “You can, would you, I think you’d look good in my pictures.” Finally made its way out.

Dorothea smiled at her, still suppressing laughter. “You already look good in mine too, but I’ll keep that in mind.”

The two had washed their dishes and returned to their rooms with a promise for a similar outing like this in the future. She didn’t want to hint too much at the idea, but Valentines day would be the day of Bernie’s reckoning. Dorothea was so ripe for a love confession now, but she had to make it right. Sitting in her room Bernadetta looked over the sketch. She would try and try until she got it right. 

“Failure’s not an option, Bernie.” She promised herself. This was gonna be it, she would ensure that for once her feelings would be validated by someone, that someone being the most beautiful woman she had ever made friends with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hc that Dorothea always says mac and cheese even when it's shells and cheese
> 
> Bernie's drawing music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA0D5CZG4Ew
> 
> You might also notice the "Yuri" tag is gone. This is due to new variables being introduced that had to be taken into account.


	16. the less bernie knows the better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvM79DJ2PmM

** _During the authors BE playthrough, Bernadetta von Varley received mvp in the paralogue Rumored Nuptials by covering Dorothea and Ingrids escape._ **

** _This is her story._ **

  
  


* * *

  
  


Bernadetta danced alone in her room, shaking her hips as she dressed up. Today she would put the best version of herself out there for Dorothea. Every self doubting thought to be shouted out and replaced with ones of positivity. There were friends that she was convinced were behind her on this one, if they didn’t even know it. From her art skills to encouraging her to get out more, Bernie planned to use that inspiration for something wonderful. This was a new version of herself that she was gonna take for a test drive, or at least in her mind, a dangerous expedition.

Securing the drawing in a folder, she made sure to not have it ruined. “Operation get Dorothea to love us is a go, Bernie. “She said to herself. Today was the day to correct her toxic thinking and prove herself she was worthy of actual love from someone who wouldn’t be harmed by it. 

No pressure. “We got this Bernie.” She stood in front of her mirror, talking to her reflection. “We won’t fuck this up.” Pointing in the mirror, she held the stance for a few moments before dancing a little more to the music. Giggling to herself, she finished getting dressed before quickly going to brush her teeth. “Let’s kick some ass today, Bern.” She said, spitting toothpaste into the sink.

Peeking out the door, she looked around. No sign of much of her classmates. Seemed most had already made their way to class. Sneaking down stairs, Bernadetta prepared herself some toast with jelly real quick. She planned to have herself as focused as possible on her task today, and knew it would be smart to at least eat something before class for once.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and her heart raced at the possibility of starting the celebritories off early. Instead, Petra appeared, looking around till she caught sight of Bernadetta sitting alone at the table. Hurrying over, she held out a box of Brigid Chocolates to her.

“Imports from me,” She told her. “I am wanting you to receive something today.” Petra told her.

Bernadetta took them and looked up at Petra, tears nearly welling up in her eyes. “Thank you Petra…” Bernie sobbed, pulling her friend into a hug. “I’ve never gotten something like this before.”

“You are my friend Bernadetta.” Petra said to the girl. “You have been earning of my and others affectionate in my time here.” Pulling away from the hug, she grabbed her hand. “I have many to give, but you are lucky to get the first.”

Bernadetta nodded. “Thank you, gosh, really.” She tried to explain. “I mean, I wish I got you something now.”

“No apologize.” Petra insisted. “This day is for your specialties giving as well. Dorothea will be happiest to get something from you.”

“I-I… thank you.” Bernadetta had shown her the drawing already, asking for a limited amount of feedback from people she could trust to keep quiet. In her nervous state did she tremble a little before her classmates.

“Stand tall, Bernadetta.” Petra encouraged. “We have a day for us ahead.” She told her, placing an arm around her shoulders.

Bernie felt she owed Petra at least a walk to class. There was a crushing guilt of having trouble getting close to her due to the language barrier between them that Bernadetta wanted nothing more than to smash. Petra has expressed her kindness and gratitude to her and the other for their friendship and Bernie was eager to return the feelings.

Walking into class together, Bernie’s eyes scanned until she saw a lock of brunette hair brushed by a perfectly pedicured hand to reveal the gorgeous face she could stare at all day. As if too bright to stare, Bernadetta turned away as soon as she saw Dorothea. The girl seemed to be more radiant than ever on this day.

“She probably is looking good for the occasion.” Bernie spoke with herself internally. “Maybe she already has a date.” she interjected. “No wait, we haven’t heard of anything like that from her yet. Not backing out of this yet.” She shook her head, trying to get rid of those kinds of thoughts for now. By now the girl knew that thinking like that would only hold her back.

Bernadetta’s knee bounced as she took her seat. Every breath she took was riddled in anxiety as her voice wavered with just exhaling. It would be a long class period if this was how she was gonna be. “Get it together Bernie, we need to be in top shape for Dorothea tonight.” She told herself, opting to focus on her professor’s lecture from now. “If there’s anyone who might be able to teach us anything helpful, it’s professor Byleth.”

“And yes, I know Dean Rhea told me to not teach this but I really don’t know at this point.” Professor lowered his glasses. “Not that I’m joining your little rebellion, Edelgard.”

Even from her spot did Bernadetta see Edelgard shrink back in her seat slightly.

“Hey professor, need a date for tonight?” Dorothea suddenly called out. Bernadetta was so caught off guard that she couldn’t see Edelgard try to hide her face.

“No no no no no please don’t ask out the professor!” Bernadetta screamed internally. “I mean, if Edelgard really likes him as much as we jokes he does she wouldn’t do that to her friend.”

“Who says I don’t already have one?” He shot back, a grin ever so slightly twitching on his face. Before the class could erupt into a full on interrogation, he interjected them. “I already have plans that, He pointed to Dorothea, “you will not hear about.” He told her, getting a smug smirk in response.

Holding her bag, she glanced back at Dorothea. She hadn’t said anything to her today. No text other than a group message wishing everyone a Happy Valentines day. While it was something heartfelt, Bernadetta awaited to hear what she would personally tell her in person.

Class seemed to drag on and on as it usually did. Of all days where Bernadetta wasn’t waiting to get back in her room she was waiting to get the chance to talk to Dorothea. It seemed as though Professor Byleth’s lecture would go on and on til it eventually stretched the length of the universe. 

It was when she was ready to pull her hair out that he finally started to wrap things up. “Alright, I can tell you guys gotta get out of here.” 

“Yeah, and don’t you have a date to get to.” Dorothea teased her professor..

“And you?” He was his only response as he removed his glasses/

“OH!” Caspar called, holding a fist over his mouth. Byleth didn’t seem to even realize what he said to her.

All she did was smile and flip her hair over her shoulders as she got up from her seat. “Well, maybe I do.” She said to her teacher.

No! Whatever that meant, it couldn’t have been good. Sitting in her seat, Bernadetta lowered her head. Seems her operation had been shut down before it could even start. Her drawing delivered late, her feelings, possibly never confessed.

“Well Bernie, seems like we’ll need to retreat for now.” She thought to herself. “Mission failed, we’ll get her next time… if there is a next time.”

Hanging her head low as she stood up from her seat, Bernadetta clutched her bag to her chest as she began to walk out of the classroom. The day was clear, the sun was shining onto the campus yet she didn’t feel any of it. “Damn, can’t win em all I guess.” She thought out loud, with no one to hear. “Well, doesn’t mean we can’t give it to her.”

“So Dorothea, how’s that date coming along?” Caspar verbally teased as they walked out of the classroom together.

“Great, rub it in more why don’t you.” Bernie thought to herself in a huff.

“Very funny, where’s yours?” She asked.

“Don’t need one.” He bragged. “Just gonna go chill with the boys and watch Netflix.”

“Have fun, I have a shift till 5 today.” Dorothea told him, almost looking away from him. “Maybe I’ll join you and anyone else who’s still sadly single by the end of the day.” 

Bernadetta’s ears perked up her words. Looks like Dorothea’s words were a brave bluf in class. Looking over, Caspar seemed to be beaming with pride, leaning his head towards her direction while never taking his eyes of Dorothea. “You beautiful bastard.” She whispered.

“Alright, I’ll see you around.” She said, hugging him goodbye. “Happy Valentines day.”

“Yeah, you too.” He waved her off, passing Bernie’s hiding spot on the way. Giving her a pat on the shoulder on his way, he spoke softly. “Good luck.”

Clutching her bag with pride, she held her head up towards the sky. “We’re not out of this yet, Bernie.” She cheered.

Her friend had bought her some extra planning time.

“Okay, if Dorothea gets off at six o clock, and if we arrive around twenty to ten mintues beforehand, she can make us a drink in time to be let off, bring it to us and sit down with us. From there we can strike up a casual conversation. Don’t give the drawing right away but don’t wait too long before giving it to her. Once given, we gotta gauge her reaction to see not only how much she likes it, but how much she likes us as well. Afterwards we can propose going out somewhere together, just the two of us. We can even try and see if she’d be willing to spend the rest of the day with us.”

Pacing had been pacing back and forth for hours in the library, and then the campus, pondering over her plan. “Gonna be a long shot Bernie, but we have no other options. We’re not confident and likeable like the others. We gotta make up for that with our cunning art skill to make beautiful women fall in love with us.”

Her phone vibrated, alerting her of her time of attack. Making her way to the cafe, she could see Dorothea working behind the counter. All around, couple sat around the court, even Marianne and Hilda tucked away in a corner hiding from everyone else. 

With all the romance besides her, Bernie wasn’t sure if she was to be inspired for once or disgusted like usual. Not giving herself an answer, she made her past them, opting to instead focus on Dorothea as she reached the counter. She waited until finally the brunette noticed her, smiling at her as she walked over. “Hey you,” She greeted in her trademark sweet tone of voice. “Happy Valentines day.” 

“Oh yeah,” Bernie spoke, rubbing the back of her neck. “Happy Valentines Day, Dorothea.”

“Got any special plans?” She asked, leaning forward on the counter.

“Nope-”

“Any lucky someone you spending today with?” She teased, inching closer to Bernadetta.

“N-no…” Bernie stammered, trying to not show her blush to her.

Dorothea giggled. “I’m just teasing Bernie.” She turned over her shoulder. “The usual, right?”

Bernie nodded. “You’re almost off, right?” She asked. “You can just bring it to me after I pay for it.” She told her, before backtracking to be safe. “I mean if you want to, if you got somewhere to be, I can take it here.”

Smiling to her, the brunette sighed. “I don’t have anywhere to go after this, so I’ll come sit down and talk when I’m off.”

Bernadetta could hardly stand on her own feet after hearing that. “Of.. of course Dorothea. You can.” She spoke, her voice nearly losing all tone and depth. “I’ll see… seeing you over there.” She pointed to an empty table, her hand trembling.

Walking to her seat, Bernadetta could feel her heart race. “This is it, Bernie.” She told herself, sitting down. “We… we’re gonna do it.” Her mind was almost hardly able to process it. “Focus Bernie, now isn’t the time to lose yourself in how great it’s gonna be when we’re Dorothea’s girlfriend.” She thought to herself.

Reaching into her bag, she produced the folder with the drawing inside. Opening it, she examined it for any last details. Using up nearly a quarter of her sketchbook for practice, Bernie had perfected a portrait of Dorothea, cald in a silk red dress that she held with her finger tips. Always imagining Dorothea to be some form of a regal figure, Bernadetta used that inspiration for creation. “This is my heart, Dorothea. I want you to have it.” She thought to herself, hugging it closely to her chest.

“Here you are dear. Enjoy.” Dorothea placed the cup of coffee on the table, sitting across from Bernie. “Well, sure glad that’s done with.” She commented. “It’s been a long day, kinda blows today’s just gonna be a usual day on campus when it seems like everyone is out with someone. Hilda and Marianne don’t think I see them making out in the corner. Even Ingrid got set up with a date.”

Bernadetta watched her, seeing Dorothea destress from a day of classes and work. This was the human she cared so much about. “Sorry, I shouldn’t bring the mood down. It wasn’t like anything bad happened today, so I shouldn’t complain.”

“N-no…” Bernie interjected, catching the brunette’s attention. When she felt she may have crossed a boundary, she corrected herself. “I-I mean, it’s fine if today wasn’t what you expected… sometimes your brain tells you otherwise.”

Smiling to her, Dorothea took a quick drink from her water bottle. “Yeah, sometimes your mind just likes to play tricks on you.” She said. “But I mean it’s not so bad today, the weather was nice, got to grill my teacher on if he has a date. I had fun today.”

“I’m glad,” Bernie smiled. Heart pounding in her chest, she reached into her bag. “You know, I did want to wish you a happy Valentines day.” She grabbed the folder, and Dorothea perked up. 

“What’s that?” She asked, curious.

“Oh Bernie she’s excited, time to reel em in.” The girl thought to herself. 

“I-I… I wanted you to know how much you mean to me so I…” She reached in, grabbing the paper. “I drew something, you said you like my art and I don’t know I guess I wanted to do something today and I want you to have it.” She held the drawing out to her.

Dorothea took it and looked over it. “I mean,” Bernadetta continued. “It was a little fantasy thing I thought of and you mentioned kinda looking stuff like that so I’m not sure if you would see yourself as like a cool mage or something.”

“Bernie…” Dorothea gasped, staring back at the drawing. “I… I love it.”

Silenced by her words, Bernadetta looked back at her. “Y-you mean it?”

“Of course!” She looked back at it. Taking the folder from Bernie she secured the paper inside. “I look so cool in it. I’ve never looked this cool before.”

Bernadetta could hear footsteps approaching behind her, but she ignored them. “I mean, you always are cool to me Dorothea.”

Her words fell on deaf ears, as Dorothea had her attention drawn to the person behind her. “Yeah Sylvain, I saw the comments on Instagram. Thank you but I’ll pass.” The brunette tried to dismiss.

“I don’t…” He stammered for a moment. “No, that’s not it. Have you heard from Ingrid today?”

“Uh no, didn’t she say she had a date with someone today?” Dorothea asked.

“See, that’s it. She’s telling me the guy is already trying to marry her.” Sylvain explained.

“Wow, what a loser.” She commented, chuckling a little.

“But he won’t let her leave the coffee shop they’re at. Saying he’s got a guy outside waiting for her to try and leave.” Sylvain grabbed his hair. “I think her dad’s trying to set her up in some arranged marriage thing.”

“What!?” Dorothea stood up.

Bernadetta bit her tongue, Sylvain just had to come and interrupt what was the most important part of today. But what she had overheard about Ingrid was concerning. No one should have to be controlled by their father like that. Ingrid had been kind to her, a bit abrasive, but still a friend. “What, what can we do?” She asked, standing up as well.

“I mean… we can find something to get her out of there.” Sylvain explained. “I didn’t want to bring this up with the others. I know you were available today so I came to you.” He was running out of breath. “Just please help me get her out of this. I promise I’ll never do anything annoying again, if I do you can slap me just don’t let Ingrid get married off to some sleazy asshole.” He was on the edge of begging them to do something.

“Okay, calm down.” She explained. “Do you know where it is?” Dorothea asked, stepping to Sylvain’s side.

“Y-yeah, the coffee shop near the alleyway by the movie theater.” He explained. “She says she’s sitting across from him while he goes on and on about how successful he is.”

Bernadetta may have made Sylvain to be desperate for female affection, but from the sounds of it she could suffice in saying that he truly cared about Ingrid. “I’m coming with you.”

“No Bernie-” Dorothea spoke up.

“Please, I can use all the help I can get.” Sylvain told her, grabbing both of their hands. “I’ll be in your debt. You’ll be in Ingrid's more but please help me with this.”

Dorothea looked back at Bernadetta, who held her head up in determination. The brunette didn’t bother in trying to persuade her any further. She could tell Bernie was dedicated to the cause. The trio left campus covertly, hoping to not draw too much trouble to themselves. The city lit with a setting sun and street lights, they made their way to the coffee shop, standing across the street. Sure enough from within the window they could see Ingrid talking with a man. 

“Eugh, I can tell he’s sleazy as hell.” Dorothea commented. Ingrid wore a forced smile to the man as she nodded along to whatever he was saying.

“Check that guy though.” Sylvain pointed out. A man with glasses on smoked a cigarette outside the shop, much to the annoyance of passerby. “She told me a guy in glasses was keeping guard.”

“How rich of an asshole do you have to be to get someone to possibly kidnap someone.” Dorothea growled.

“Okay, we need a plan. We can't just rush in there.” Sylvain explained.

Bernie sat between them, thinking. She never liked getting in trouble, in fact she feared the repercussions in a phobia sense. But Ingrid was in trouble already, deep trouble, and she needed her friends' help. “Come on Bernie, we gotta get her out of there.” She pounded the side of her head. Looking back at the two, and back at the shop her brain began to work.

“Okay, Sylvain goes outside and asks the man for the time and starts a discussion on the weather. Meanwhile, Dorothea and I go inside. Dorothea will say I'm her cousin and she’s Ingrid’s sister. Hopefully Ingrid will catch on to the lie and join us, be happy to see us and know the gist. She’ll have to excuse herself from the table and we can leave with her. Hopefully not cause a scene in the process.”

The two looked back at her, nearly dumbfounded by her planning and cunningness. “Bernie I... “ Dorothea began to comment. “You think that could work?”

“Ingrid will know what to do, she’s smart.” Sylvain said. “Okay, I’ll go first, you guys follow my lead.”

Crossing the street at a leisurely pace, the two watched as he approached the man and got his attention. “Excuse me sir, you wouldn’t happen to have the time would you?” When the cliche question was asked, the duo made their way across the street.

“You got a smartwatch and a phone and you need me for the time?” The man questioned Sylvain, who rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, it’s dead.” He told him, trying to hide the watch face when it turned on. “My phone’s been low on battery all day and I need to call my mom.”

Hoping he could hold the man’s attention long enough, the two entered the shop. Dorothea wasted no time in finding Ingrid and pointing her out. Grabbing Bernie’s hand, she whispered “follow my lead” as they walked over. “Ingrid! Hi! Look who’s in town?”

The two at the table turned to look at them Ingrid being happy while her suitor was mostly confused. Dorothea held up Bernadetta’s arm. “She got in early.”

“Y-yep…” Bernadetta told her. “You-your cousin Bernie is in town.” She told her.

“Oh… oh my goodness!” Ingrid got up and pulled Bernie into a tight hug. “So glad you came to visit.”

“Wait your cousin is visiting you while in college?” He asked.

“Uh, y-yeah.” Ingrid tried to explain.

“I’m staying off campus, with her sister here.” Bernadetta interjected, before he could question it more.

“Huh… is that so.” He nodded.

“Yep so,” Ingrid got up. “This was great, really. I can’t wait to do it all again.” She lied as she got from her seat. “I’ll call you though, let my dad know I’m so grateful he introduced us.”

“Sure thing,” He smiled to her. “I’ll ask him which of his mistresses he had your sister with too?”

Ingrid winced at the sound of that, but her hand was already in Dorothea’s. “Think it was the one back in 98 okay gotta go.” She called out as they hurried out of the store.

“Knew it!” The suitors henchmen called out, shoving Sylvain aside as he ran after them. The read head instead jumped and tackled the man to the ground.

“Guys run!” He yelled as Ingrid’s suitor stepped over them and chased after them.

“This way, hurry!” Ingrid yelled as she pulled Dorothea along, Bernadetta sprinting after them to keep up. Turning around, they found themselves in an alleyway.

“You know you’ll be happy with me!” He called out, jumping over an overturned trash can. “Just hang on a second here!”

Bernadetta turned back and saw he wasn’t primarily focused on her. Thinking quickly, she kicked over a trash can at his direction, tripping him up slightly. 

“Fucking brat!” He yelled at her, making her wince. Sprinting past her, Bernadetta watched as he continued to chase the two.

“Get going Bernie they need you!” She thought to herself. Despite being almost out of breath, her legs kicked up as she chased after them. 

Reaching a split in the path, Ingrid’s head shot side to side. “I think it was this way.” She said, turning a corner. Once they saw it was a dead end, they turned back to only be greeted with their pursuer standing between the crossroads in the alleyway. “Fuck I’m sorry Dorothea.” She told her.

“Don’t be, I get to kick his ass.” Dorothea got in front of her friend, raising her fists.

“Oh good, I like it when they fight.” He said, revealing a switchblade.

The brunette was undeterred, staring him down still. Bracing herself for the first move, she was surprised when a bottle came flying in and hit him in the side of the head.

“Ow, fuck!” He kneeled over in pain, clutching the side of his head. Pointing his knife in the direction of wear the projectile came from, he saw Bernadetta standing there, doing best to hold her stance!

“Bernie!” Dorothea called out to her.

“Dorothea go!” Bernie yelled out.

As the man ran towards her, Bernie turned and ran as fast as she could. Like a rabbit evading their hutner, she turned corners with pinpoint accuracy as she navigate the maze she was lost in as a knife wielding maniac chased her. Staying focused as it got dark, she made note of where trash cans were her initial run through as she avoided them while her pursuer didn’t.

“You’re going to pay!” He yelled out as she turned a corner to see a street with cars going down it. Despite her legs ready to give out, she sprinted on towards the sidewalk. Her bust of speed was short lived as she collapsed on her knees just as she made it in the clearing.

Ignoring the taunts of the man chasing her, she raised her head and smiled. To see the look on Dorothea’s face when she sees her again. Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her and pulled her away.

Before she could even scream, they released her as the captor spun around quickly. Turning around, she could see her professor standing in front of her, arm raised in the air with a fist as the man fell to the ground.

“Hell yeah! I told you it would work.” A girl with green hair cheered as the man fell.

“Don’t curse.” Byleth lectured her as he walked over to the man. Grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, he lifted him up off the ground ever so slightly to speak to him.

“If you ever harass or try to harm anyone ever again, you’ll drink through a straw for a month.” He threatened. “Not even being in a hospital will protect you from me.” Byleth told him, dropping him to the ground, the man too concussed to respond.

Turning, he could see his student, trembling in fright. “Bernadetta, are you okay?” He asked, rushing over to her.

Her mind raced with so many emotions. Fright, bravery, fear, concern for the others. Looking over to her professor, she gave a weak smile. “I’m fine…” She breathed out. “That was… the craziest thing I’ve ever done.”

“You need to get back to the dorms.” He offered her a hand. Taking it, she rose to her feet. “Who was that? Were you with anyone?”

Bernadetta explained all the way back, with his green haired friend making snide comments along the way. It seemed no matter how hard Byleth tried he couldn’t control her. After relaying the story, she made sure to check her phone.

_ Dorothea: “Bernie we got away from him please tell me your safe.” _

_ Bernie: “I’m fine, I’m with the professor. Is Slyvain alright?” _

_ Dorothea: “He’s at the dorms rn. Me and Ingrid are just outside the campus.” _

Looking up from her phone, she walked alongside her teacher until she was near Garreg Mach. Looking around, she made sure no one suspicious was nearby. “Professor, I think I can make it back on my own.”

“Are you sure, I can call the police if you want.” He told her.

“W-well… if you want sure, but I don’t think I have to worry about that guy for a while now.”

“Alright Bernadetta. Please message me if there’s anything you need.” He asserted to her, walking off with Sothis following him.

It was a day of her heart racing non-stop. From giving Dorothea the drawing, to running from rish thugs, Bernadetta had never done anything so crazy before in her life. Leaning her head back, she opened her arms as if to accept the embrace of her newfound life. “Things are so much cooler here than they were back home, Bernie.” 

Making her way to the dorms, she could see Dorothea and Ingrid sitting outside the Black Eagles house waiting for her. Once they caught sight of her, Dorothea jumped from her spot and ran down the pathway, arms open wide as she pulled Bernadetta into a hug.

“Bernie never do that again.” She lectured. “You almost gave me a heart attack.” Dorothea told her.

“It’s fine…” Bernie’s voice trailed off. “The professor was there. Should have seen how he knocked him out.”

“Gosh no, you shouldn’t have been there.” Dorothea grasped the side of her head. “I wouldn’t forgive you if you got hurt.”

Hanging her head low, Bernie felt a wave of shame wash over her. All she wanted to do was help and now her crush was mad at her. “Great going Bernie…”

“Come on now,” Ingrid stepped in. “No one’s hurt, everything's fine.” The blonde told her friend, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“You’re right.” Dorothea said, turning to her. Placing her hand on Ingrids, she looked at her. “So, how was your valentine's day?”

“Oh my gosh, I met the one.” Ingrid told her, making the trio laugh. “No but seriously, you guys are the best.”

“Oh yeah, you can thank Bernie here for coming up with the plan.” Dorothea told her, ruffling Bernadetta’s hair in response.

“Thanks so much cousin Bernie. Next time we get chased through an alley we can all beat the fuck out of the guy together next time.” Ingrid told her.

“Easy there, you kiss your sister with that mouth?” Dorothea told her.

“Maybe, if she’s gonna save me from some asshole.”

“Oh Ingrid.” Dorothea teased, blushing slightly.

Bernadetta felt a little awkward between them. The chemistry they shared was undeniable. She was tempted to ask the blonde for some pointers some other time.

“Seriously, I mean it.” Ingrid looked back at Dorothea. The brunette looked back at her.

“Hey Dorothea, I’m gonna head inside?” Bernie asked, pointing to the door. 

“Do something Bernie.”

“Oh, sure thing Bernie.” Dorothea told her, hardly glancing at her.

Ingrid looked back. “You know, I think this was my favorite Valentine's day ever.”

“Really? You should have your dad set them up more often.” Dorothea joked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I mean it, spending it with you would have been perfect.” Ingrid told her.

“Then next year we will.”Dorothea promised.

Bernadetta watched them from the front door, trembling. “Look at how happy she is, we did it Bernie.” She told herself, struggling to not let the tears fall.

“You’re my Valentine, Dorothea.” Ingrid confessed.

“You’re mine as well.” She told her, pulling her into a deep hug.

She was happy for her, and no amount of crying and heartbreak would convince her otherwise. Hurrying inside, the dam broke as she made her way up the stairs. What a wonderful friend she was, do all these things for Dorothea and in return be crushed when she expresses her feelings for someone who actually matters in her life. Now how was Bernadetta to become someone special to Dorothea when there were already so many great people around her who loved her just as much if not more.

“How are you gonna compete with that, huh Bernie?” She thought to herself as she walked down the hall. “Gonna draw up another shitty drawing of her and beg her to marry you? So many other people she who love her and would happily pledge themselves to her and all you want is for her to pledge herself to you like the selfish asshole you are.”

Opening the door to her room, she didn’t bother in turning on the light. Falling onto the bed and putting some music on, the tears kept flowing as she thought it all over. “What kind of friend are you? You’re really going to cry as your friend finds someone who makes them happier. So what if you can’t make her happy, you couldn’t make anyone happy if you tried, especially not yourself."

There was a knock on the door, Bernadetta sat up and tried her best to hide her sadness. The door opened as Edelgard stepped in, a look of concern on her face.

“Bernadetta? Are you alright?” She asked.

“I’m fine.” She asserted right away. The girl was in no mood to deal with anyone right now, knowing very well Edelgard would just patronize her for these feelings.

“I heard about the incident from the professor.” Edelgard explained, walking into her room. “Anything you want to talk about?”

“No,” Bernie shook her head, hanging her face low.

Edelgard stepped towards her, knowing very well that wasn’t the case. “Bernie-”

“I said I’m fine.” She told her, her voice cracking.

Edelgard sat beside her, pulling the girl close. “I just… I thought it wouldn’t be like this…” Bernadetta admitted.

She sobbed heavily into Edelgards shoulder, and to the house leaders credit, she let her. The silver haired girl gently patted her friends back as she cried. Bernadetta promised herself this wouldn’t be today’s case, and now she felt foolish with what she had been reduced to. Her own feelings were to blame, her expectations, her heart, her fault.

  
  


Looking over Edelgard's shoulder, she looked into her mirror and saw the face of the one person she failed, the only person she truly had, herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5Cuz3apNsg


	17. Bernie's Heart

There wasn’t much in this world that could stress Claude out to this degree. With an upbringing like his, he approached his situations with cunning trickery in his mind, using his wit to outsmart any circumstances that went against him. None of what he had faced before was able to prepare him for discourse between friendships.

On either side of him were Dimitri, who’s hair was an unkempt mess, his burning glare peering out from behind whatever strand he hadn’t brushed out of his face. Meanwhile Edelgard, having opted to two her hair up into two buns on both sides of her head, kept an icy glare at him.

“Guys… can we just… please focus?” Claude pleaded with them. His arms raised, palms facing them. “This is not the way to settle things.”

Glancing from her adversary, Edelgard looked at Claude briefly. “I’m aware this is not the most professional way to handle things.” Her eyes met Dimitri, her stare unmoving. “I would hope you’d try to understand things from my point of view, yet it seems you can’t be bothered to think more.”

“Shut it!” Dimitri snapped at her. He could tell Edelgard wanted to toy with him, watching the blonde as she provoked his rage. “Always like this with you. No point in ever discussing anything with you when you just want to belittle anyone who doesn’t side with you.”

“Guys, is this even about the Dean at this point?” Claude asked, trying to quell the argument.

It had been growing for a while. The Golden Deer leader could see that there was friction between the two friends. Dean Rhea was enforcing professors to teach certain curriculums in what she felt was “required knowledge” for the students to learn. While Claude personally didn’t see the reason for it, he wasn’t one to fight Rhea’s orders. Dimitri on the other hand, personally agreed to the Dean’s plans.

Edelgard had infamously opposed the deans regulations. It seemed the girl had it out for Rhea for a while now. Every year there’d be friction from the Black Eagles house and the Dean, with the Blue Lions opposing them each time. At first it was seen as a simple squabble between Garreg Mach houses, but at the rate it escalated this year, the Golden Deer weren’t sure they’d last what felt like an all out war between the three houses.

“So confident with that professor of yours.” Dimitri taunted. “Such a suck up, that’s what you’ll do to anyone who agrees with you.” He nearly spat.

“Dimitri, stop it.” Claude lectured.

“I’m sorry if my teacher is more of an inspiring role model than yours.” Edelgard was happy to retort. “If you are unsatisfied with the education you have been receiving, it’s quite funny you resort to this kind of thing.”

“Edelgard, now is not the time.” Claude tried to halt the two before it could get any worse.

“Such typical bullshit from you.” Dimitri growled. The two in the room stopped as the Blue Lions leader glared down his former friend, hate raged in his eyes. “Why bother with some remorseless person like you. So many good people everyday who don’t get the chance to attend school and you just want to piss all over it because you can.”

Grinding her heels in, Edelgard pointed. “I’m sorry that you don’t see a problem with what’s happening here. Of course someone as sick as you could freely let this go by.” Her stare narrowed, unmoving in the stance she held.

Between Edelgard cunning, cold tone, and Dimitri becoming unhinged at his very eyes, Claude could feel the pressure on him. “Guys, please stop fighting.” He asked.

“I’m fucking sick,” Dimitri spat. “Of your bullshit. You really want to just throw us all under your foot as you try and face the Dean just because of your disagreement.”

“There are so many problems here that you wouldn’t even begin to see if you knew what I went through!” Edelgard’s voice cracked as she leaned forward, pointing a finger at him.

“Well, do you feel like a fucking hero yet?” The blonde shouted back at her. “Feel good about just having everyone in your house follow you to a pointless fight. You don’t even give a shit about them, do you?”

“And what makes you think all of your house mates agree with you!” She yelled back.

“Guys!” Claude had to shout over both of them. “Stop! Please!”

The two finally settled down, and there wasn’t a positive feeling for one another. Edelgard tried to keep lip from trembling, while Dimitri’s eyes stared back, fighting back tears. There couldn’t be anything nice said between them at that moment, and Claude could feel the sorrow between the two.

“Hope it’s worth it.” Dimitri said, hanging his head down as he walked out of the room.

Edelgard waited for a while in silence. Once they were sure he was out ear shot, Claude released the breath he had been holding for a while.

“Well Claude, I do appreciate your input. “Don’t fight” will certainly solve this.” The Black Eagles leader chimed in, not a hint of joy in her voice.

Shaking his head as he rubbed his eyes, Claude sighed. “Get the hell out, I’m not looking forward to going to class tonight.” He looked up at her, his eyes watering. “Couldn’t even fucking wait until after class, could you?”

For a moment, the silver haired girl wanted to say something. She had no place in her heart for emotions from others, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t somewhat saddened to see what it reduced her friends to. Opening her mouth briefly, Claude waved her off. 

Once they were both god, Claude wiped his eyes. Seeing friends fight was one thing, but it was a lot more when he can tell that something more about them was hurting. It seemed life was starting to get the worse of others. Sniffling to himself, he looked over to see Hilda standing at the top of the stairs.

“So,” She stepped down. “You all good?” The girl asked, uncertain on how to approach the situation.

Turning towards the door, his eyes stung as he swallowed the lump in his throat. “I… I can tell they aren’t.” He lamented over his words.

As he hung his head down again, Claude could feel Hilda wrap his arms around him. “I’m sorry…” She told him. Returning the gesture, he put an arm around her shoulders. “You want a gummy before class?”

“Yeah,” His voice croaked.

* * *

  
  


Bernadetta could feel the mood of the day every time she opened her eyes in the morning. It was probably going to be terrible like it has been. The weather would be cold and rainy, everyone would be stressed at the very least from everything happening on campus, and she’d talk to no one about it because who would care in the long run.

Munching on toast, staring blindly in whatever direction she was sitting in, headphones in, she was already excited for the part where she could just return to her room and hide there until she was forced to come out the next day.

There hardly felt like a purpose to being here at this point. Her interest in getting an education was plummeting, and it seemed like she couldn’t make any meaningful friends. People were nice to her, yet no one seemed to want her to pledge herself to them.

“Not true…” She thought to herself, but it wasn’t like that mattered. Dorothea and Ingrid weren’t actually dating, but it’s not like that was any concern. “She’ll date anyone as long as they’re not some loser like you.” 

Shaking her head, she grabbed her bag and headed to class. Between the gray sky and the puddle of rain that weren’t any fun to stop into, she had grown sick of the weather. Wasn’t cold enough to keep her inside yet wasn’t nice enough to justify ever stepping out the door.

She had been trying her best to not talk to anyone. How laughable would it be to her her reasoning. Crush not liking you back, do you have the maturity of a child to not get over it? That wasn’t even half of the reasons, between that, and the foreboding fact that after all of this Bernadetta’s gonna have to return home after she graduates.

At any chance they would she give to break her vow of silence to someone. Surely there would be somebody out there who’d hear her out slightly. “Come on Bernie, everyone’s a depressed college student here.” She told herself.

Outside of class, Edelgard stood, typing on her phone. While she may have scared Bernie before, she had warmed up to her as of late. Approaching her almost casually to her own liking, Bernadetta gave a quick wave.

“Hey there, Edelgard.” She grinned, almost trying to appear too cheery. “Uhm, how are you?”

“Not very well, if it’s any of your concern.” She responded, glancing over from her phone only briefly.

“Oh,” Bernadetta couldn’t have felt more dejected on tone alone. “I’m uh… sorry.” She told her. “Anything I can do to help?”

“I don’t know. If you want my advice, friends aren’t exactly the most helpful of the people in your life, but that shouldn’t stop you from what needs to be done.” Edelgard responded, her voice almost dripping in venom.

There couldn’t have been a worse thing to be told at this time, Bernadetta though. Not having any form of response, she opted to step away. “Welp, talking to people failed.” She told herself. “Once class ends, to bed we shall go.”

Taking her seat, the girl pulled her hood over her head. As the others passed by her, she opted not to look any in the face. Caspar was quick to greet her, which she returned in a subtle wave. Even now if someone came to her in hopes of cheering her up, it’d just be too late. She was eager to try again tomorrow, but for now she just wanted the day to end.

When her professor took to the podium to begin teaching that day, it was eerily quiet throughout the lecture. Questions weren’t asked, no one made a joke or quip, which Byleth was usually tolerant of for the most part. Instead it was tensely quiet, with Byleth’s voice demanding silence in its tone. All Bernadetta would do was take notes, wait for the end of class, hoped none of her peers that she held high respect for would look in her general direction, and go back to her room. “Just… try again tomorrow Bernie.” She told herself.

Seconds were minutes, minutes were hours, class had never felt this tense before. Edelgard had previously made protest to Byleth’s lecture previously, but it seemed the Professor had it with her protests, even if he somewhat agreed with her. So when class was dismissed without incident, Bernadetta was more than happy to jump from her seat and beeline to the door. 

Leaving the classroom, the girl stuck her earbuds in, paying no mind to anyone around her. Even when she saw the members of the other houses, she abstained from looking at them, fearing just even the repercussions of catching sight of them. Clutching her chest slightly as she walked, Bernadetta hung her head slightly.

“Hey Bernie!” Caspar called out.

She continued, pretending not to hear him. As he caught up to her, she mentally prepared herself from a poke for attention on the shoulder, knowing very well she wasn’t going to appreciate it. “Come on Bernie, I know you can hear me.” He told her, walking beside his friend.

Holding her breath to prevent herself from sighing, Bernadetta pulled her ear buds loose and looked at him. “Yeah, Caspar?” She asked, hoping to avoid any topic of today.

“You uh… you doing anything?” He asked her, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.

“No, don’t want to.” She said. Admittedly, this attempt to get her to hang out was more convincing than any time she’s ever spoke with Dorothea.

“Oh, well… uhm…” He looked down to the ground, pondering his next words. Bernie could tell she wasn’t gonna get out of this one that quickly. “You… are you doing alright?” He asked.

Oh no, the sincerity in his voice that Bernie knew was masking concern. Her parents did it whenever they wanted to pretend they cared about her feelings. While she knew Caspar wasn’t pretending, that wouldn’t be enough to coax her out of this one. “I’m just tired.” She told him.

“I can tell uh… I think we all are.” Caspar agreed. “I know things are kinda down right now.”

Bernie knew better than to make remarks, but her friend had already earned his fair share from the others. “Thanks Caspar, really glad to hear it.”

“Come on Bernie,” He told her. “Yeah things suck right now. That doesn’t mean we have to just hang our heads down. We gotta keep our head up in this, stay positive.”

Briefly, Bernadetta felt anger, before the guilt for ever feeling such a thing came crashing in. She didn’t weigh in on the emotions for long. As soon as Caspar had said that, Bernie knew he wasn’t gonna get to her. “Sorry but, not really in a place for optimism right now.”

“Look, is this about what happened during Valentines Day? I get it, that really sucked.” He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

The anger came back, and Bernadetta didn’t fight it this time. “Caspar,” She lectured. “I’m not some sad girl who got rejected.” Brushing away his affections, and walked further ahead. “And here I was thinking you thought better.”

“Wait, Bernie!” He called out. Wincing to himself at her words, Caspar slumped his shoulders as defeat bore down on him.

Making it to the dorms, Bernadetta made her way to cupboards. Rummaging around, she managed to find some junk food she had bought in case of days like these. While she was generous in sharing, it was all to her now.

Someone else was in the room with her, but the girls paid them no mind. Grabbing a bottle of water, she turned to see Dorothea staring at the microwave, watching as her left overs from a previous night heated up. 

She had every right to turn around and leave, give a simple greetings and never speak for the rest of the day. Instead, Bernadetta rested her hands on the table, sighing loudly in hopes of catching her attention. “Hey, Dorothea.” 

Looking over, the brunette gave her a soft smile. “Hey Bernie.” She told her. “How ya been?”

Now there was someone who was more likely to want to talk to her rather than forcing an awkward conversation. Leaning against the table, Bernie casually admitted “Oh… kinda crappy.”

Nodding, Dorothea returned the sentiment. “Yep, same here.” She told her, glancing towards the window. “What are you doing today?”

“Welp, I’m gonna go hide in my room for the rest of the day, maybe the rest of her life.” Bernadetta told her, trying to dismiss her seriousness with the sarcasm in her voice.

“Well make sure you come out to eat something.” Dorothea told her as she grabbed her food from the microwave.

"What are you, my mother?" Bernadetta rolled her eyes.

“No I am, I’m much better than you mother.” The girl jokingly stated.

Something about that didn’t sit right with Bernie. She didn’t hold her own mom to high esteem but what right did Dorothea have telling her that. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh!” Dorothea turned towards her. “I didn’t mean it like that…”

Bernadetta turned her head away, not willing to put up with whatever excuse she was going to come up with. Dorothea seemed fine with dismissing her feelings before but now the line was crossed apparently. “Didn’t think that was the one thing you’d apologize for?”

“Excuse me?” Dorothea accused her. Now it seems Bernie may have truly pushed her luck with her too far. “I’m just trying to be the best I can. I’m sorry for what I said but that doesn’t mean you get to get all pissy with me.” 

Her words stung, they stung hard. Bernadetta kept her stance, looking back at her. “What would you know, your parents were nice to you.” She muttered.

“And they practically broke their backs to raise me, okay. I know a lot of things because of them.” Dorothea pointed at her. “I get that things are stressful on campus right now, but if you think hiding in your room is gonna solve it, you’re dead wrong.

Bernadetta felt herself buckling under the words. This was almost identical to how it’d go at home. She had promised herself she’d stop feeling like this, being reduced to nothing by someone’s words along, by any means deemed necessary. 

“Well I can’t just throw myself to someone who kinda likes me to forget about my loneliness like you, now can I?”

Only after it was said did it really sink in what Bernadetta had said. Dorothea was hurt, but it wasn’t something that’d exactly break her like others things that could have been said. But it was Bernie, who’s face of anger turned to mortified when she realized what she had told her. 

“Bernie… I-” Dorothea reached out.

She took off running, sprinting as fast as she could up the stairs and to her room. As Dorothea called out to her, she quickly ran in her room and shut the door, locking it from the inside. “Bernie, please!” Dorothea called to her, knocking on the door.

_ “Open up you ungrateful brat!” _ They yelled from outside.

Slapping her hands over her ears, Bernadetta hid from behind her bed as she tried to drown out whatever voice may try to speak from her from the other side of her door. This wasn’t supposed to happen, the one frequent occurrence in her house that she wanted to leave behind and now here she was, reduced to tears on her bedroom floor. “It’s your fault Bernie. You did this.” She thought to herself. 

The sound of sobbing reached her ears. Placing a hand over her mouth, Dorothea could feel the tears fall from her eyes as she hung her head. Walking away from the door, she could only hope Bernadetta would come out at some point. She wouldn’t wish this in the world for anyone, especially someone she loved.

Lying motionless on the floor, Bernadetta stared into the wall. This was where she was going to be. Any chance of escaping from this always leads back to here. “Thought we could make it out of this…” She thought. “Well you were wrong, oh so wrong.”

“Congratulations Bernie, now all the people you love get to watch you suffer.” Her mind told herself, as the tears began to fall again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86IgLpeRBl4


	18. Bernie's Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qz0IJXQ720

There was nothing but her walls, the window she kept closed, and the ceiling that she stared up at while lying on the floor, motionless. Nothing but the sounds of her headphones, hoping to devoid her senses of any form of existence outside of anywhere other than this very room.

Her hair was unkempt and messy, her clothes were the same ones she had on all weekend. She had a stockpile of snacks that was nearly depleted. Plates of food were piling up on her desk and nightstand. Luckily she managed to sneak out and shower when no one was around. The thought of them seeing her at all made her shudder.

This was what life was for Bernadetta. Deep down, she only could blame herself for thinking it would go well stepping out of her room when there were only strangers outside. Strangers who knew nothing of what her life was like before this, people who couldn’t fathom the pain she harbored from her home life, friends that now can see just how much of a broken mess she truly was.

Now here she was, having gone five days without stepping foot outside her room. Skipping class, the girl had sheltered herself in the dorms, shutting herself away from the outside world. First they thought she wasn’t feeling well, and the answer worked out well when Edelgard asked. Earning her right to stay inside her room all day, that facade began to falter once people started asking why she wouldn’t come out.

Eventually they figured it out, who she really was. Nothing was worth stepping foot out her door anymore, only pain and sorrow awaited her no matter what she tried. No matter how many times they tried to coax her out, she would stay put where she was.

All they wanted to do was help, and Bernadetta was burdened by the horror of knowing that was the truth. What she wouldn’t give to walk out of here, into the arms of the first person she saw, and sob away her worries without a care in the world. But that wasn’t how things were, people needed you to be above your emotions, and she had been crippled by them long ago. 

The person she thought she could be isn't worth having around, and the version of herself that she tried to get away from was always there. Why couldn’t they see that there was no need to burden themselves with the task of caring for her. Everytime they left her a plate of food outside of her room, she would feel disgusted. Now they were wasting resources just to keep her around.

They were the first people to ever care for her, and this is the thanks they got. Instead of being grateful for even just a sliver of kindness, her fragile mind shut down at the very acceptance of it. Staring up at the ceiling, a tear fell from Bernie’s eye. Crying had become a regular occurrence in her room, much more than usual. Yet there was nowhere for her to go from here. Bernadetta wasn’t even sure if she was someone worth saving at this point.

Her friends knew otherwise.

Of the Black Eagle house, it was Dorothea who noticed that something was wrong. Her fight with Bernadetta weighed on her mind. Texting her apologies weren’t doing anything, Bernie hasn't responded to a singular text ever since that day. Wracked with guilt, the brunette had avoided pleading to her personally to make amends, desperate to rekindle their friendship. Any attempt to talk to her was met with silence and a growing feeling of dejection.

It was Caspar who had managed to get a personal response from her. While Bernie had told everyone she had gotten sick, his private messages implied something much more sinister. The stress had unnerved her to a breaking point, and she had taken it out on Dorothea. What followed was an unrelenting barrage of self hatred expressed to her friend. He didn’t want to look at them, the way she had described herself via text was borderline harmful.

Class had been in a dead stop for the past few days. Their professor had lost his seemingly unnatural ability to keep class interesting for them. Once another uneventful period had passed, Caspar took it upon himself to soldier to his teacher's desk and demanded his attention.

He knew that it was crucial he word this as carefully as possible. It’d be wrong

“Professor.” He stated, feeling his most timid at this moment. Just now was Caspar starting to understand just a sliver of what she truly felt. “I… Bernadetta needs help.” 

Looking up from his papers, Byleth could tell what Caspar told him was serious. “Is something wrong?” He asked, leaning forward and lending an ear to his student.

“She…” He stopped to process. Caspar had learned his lesson in speaking before thinking. “She won’t come out of her room. A-and I tried texting her but she’s refused to come out, and she responded and told me how much she hates herself and please.” He pleaded with him. “I don’t want her to get hurt.” Caspar said, struggling to hold back his tears.

While he wasn’t very in touch with his own emotions, Byleth was more than able to pick up on the distress in his students' voice. “Alright,” He told Caspar. Glancing upwards, he could see a few students still lingering around the classroom. He knew deep down this would be something that needed to be addressed seriously. 

“Oh Bernie.” He cooed, shaking his head. Never once would he wish this kind of mindset on anyone, let alone one of his students. “So you say she won’t come out?”

“No,” He shook his head. “And I tried knocking on her door the other night but there was no response. I texted her later and she said she heard me knock and hid under her covers.” Caspar explained. 

Leaning forward in his chair, Byleth stared straight ahead. There was no secret that Bernadetta had trouble keeping a tab on her emotions. It always did surprise him when she would be out of her room and socialising with her friends. “How are the others handling this?”

“Well, Edelgard demanded she come out and she texted me to come “rescue her.” Caspar recalled. “Hubert made her scream in fear.” He glanced upwards briefly, to remember any other details. “Everyone else just doesn’t know what to do.”

“What about Dorothea?” Byleth asked. “I know those two are friends. How is she helping?”

“She doesn't know either, professor.” Shaking his head. “I hear they got in a fight before Bernadetta shut herself in her room.” Caspar told his teacher. “I know Dorothea’s really torn up about it.”

His eyes fell briefly, before they returned their sights on his student. “I think we should all meet in the dorms common room.” He turned to his computer. “I’ll write Edelgard a message. Can you ask the others to meet with me in the common room later?”

“Yes, of course I can, professor.” Caspar almost gave a military salute in his dedication. “You can count on me.” He told him, quick to turn and leave the classroom.

* * *

  
  
  


They were coming, Bernadetta knew. It was going to be only a matter of time before all of her classmates would gather around and discuss the most viable way of getting rid of her. There was no helping someone like her at this point so why were they even bothering. 

Her heartbeat spiked at the realization that even their professor was down there talking to them. Now he was here to finalize her removal from Garreg Mach and send her own. Please no, she’ll do anything to never go back there again. How she would beg him to reconsider, ask all of her dorm mates to forget about her being a nuisance and to finish school with her head hung low.

It was idiotic of her to draw Dorothea without even asking for permission. All she did was see her as some lost kid who needed her hand held in public anyways. From embroidering her pins to drawing her stuff for Valentines day, Bernadetta figured as such that all she was good for was throwing art at people in hopes they’d keep liking her.

There was no good in what she did here. All it was for the sake of healing and she had no idea how to do it. Being forced out of her room, her home, by her own mother no less, into an unforgiving world where the slightest mistake meant doom.

And then came the sounds of the footsteps. From the moment they were in earshot Bernadetta knew they were for her. Sitting up as she pulled her earbuds out, she stared at her door, silently praying whoever it was would pass on by.

She was half expecting it to be Dorothea, who would return the room next to hers. The sound of that girls door opening and closing had been the most nerve wracking thing on her mind the past few days.

Instead there was a knock on her door, and she placed a hand over her mouth in hopes they would hear her not breathing and go away. To her utter dismay, they talked from behind the door. “Bernadetta?” Professor Byleth’s muffled voice called to her. “Are you awake?” He asked calmly. “Listen, I wanted to talk with you.” Her teacher admitted. “I want you to know I’m happy to help you catch up with classwork and assignments.”

Those words meant nothing to her. How could she care about school work when she couldn’t even care about herself. There she goes again, her very teacher came all the way here to give her some kind words and Bernadetta couldn’t even appreciate it. Seems like there really was no helping her.

“Your friends are worried.” He told her. Of course they were, she knew that. Who else would leave plates of meals outside her room at night, using up resources to make sure Bernadetta stayed alive. “They wanted to come up and say some words to you.” He explained.

Her heart almost stopped, she’d have to hear what they truly thought of her. “Will that be okay with you?” Byleth’s voice asked. It was the illusion of choice, she had no other option but to accept, knowing that rejecting the offer would only make her look worse. “I want you to just listen to what they have to say.”

_ “I hate you.” _

_ “You really thought you could be friends with someone like me.” _

_ “Can you even remember why you came here?” _

_ “It’s your fault things are like this.” _

All of these were things she was unlikely to hear, Bernadetta was just convinced this is what she deserved to hear at this point. Now that everyone in the Black Eagles knew she was a cowardly fraud, it was only a matter of time before they expressed how they really felt.

Only as the sound of footsteps fading away to Bernadetta move from her spot. Part of her wanted to throw the door open and beg her professor to not send her classmates up to talk. She wasn’t ready for everyone to take turns guilt tripping her for being too much of a coward to leave her own room.

But he was gone, and briefly she had this feeling she’d sit alone on the floor for the rest of the night thinking about why she was in here. At no point did her professor ever seem to pressure in eventually leaving. Only offering a helping hand for when she was ready to leave.

That feeling of optimism didn’t help her when there was another knock on the door.

“Bernadetta.” Edelgard stated, the girl backing away in fright at the sound of her stern voice. Sighing, she continued. “You are… you’re stressed.” She spoke, hanging her head down. “I understand that. I thought doubling down on those kinds of feelings would motivate me to get through them, and I see now how truly awful that was of me.” Edelgard spoke, placing a hand on the door.

“I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and yourself for the way I’ve treated you.” Her voice reached through the door. “Please know that you’re someone I care about, and I promise to be by your side when you’re ready to move forward.”

She left, and Bernadetta was left without a word to speak. Edelgard had a higher degree of sincerity than she had ever heard before. Clutching her head, the memories of one of their last interactions flashed in her mind. The stern look on her face whenever her house leader was stressed, the kind of girl who’d throw away friendships if it interfered with her goal. The woman who held her hand the first day on campus, who’d awkwardly play with her hair when talking to someone she liked.

It didn’t leave Bernie entirely convinced. She had seen what had happened with Dimitri and Claude, and those three go very far back from what she could tell. How could she know if that was her fate if she stuck with Edelgard.

Her thoughts ran before someone new knocked on the door. “Salutations, Bernadetta.” Petra began. “Apologies, I am difficult in talking this.” She explained. “You are having troubles, yes.” The girl spoke. “You know I am here always. My past interacting with you, if it caused issue, please forgive me. I only intend to motivate you.”

Was Petra trying to take responsibility in some part of this? Bernadetta knew someone like her, who never yelled or said anything mean even jokingly would ever make her feel bad. Yet here she was, apologizing. All Bernie could do was think that deep down, this could have been avoided if she actually made the effort to get closer to her.

“Please, do recover.” Petra concluded. “You have of importance to me.”

With her words said, Bernadetta could only ponder just how nice Petra was. Now all she could think about how terrible of a friend she was. They never did anything bad to each other, but there wasn’t enough good to convince Bernie she was worth it.

Petra was gone before Bernadetta even had a chance to notice her leaving. She always moved quickly, something she admitted was really impressive. When she heard someone coming to her room, it was obvious that they wanted their presence known.

“Hey there, Bernadetta.” Ferdinand spoke. His voice was laced with the classic suave charm. “You know uh, I was talking to Sylvain the other day. He was really bummed that you hadn’t posted art in a while.” He laughed. “Don’t feel too bad. I mean, he did ask if you were doing well. Same with Ingrid.”

Tensions between the houses had almost given everyone a vow of never talking to each other. It felt like Bernadetta was forbidden from talking to friends she had in the other houses. It was part of the reason she had isolated herself from social media for fear of watching her friendships fall apart.

“I want you to know that a lot of people out here care about you. I don’t know if you’ve heard that yet but it’s true.” The red head told his friend. “You ever need someone to talk to, you are free to message me or anything.”

Throughout his speech, Bernie could tell there was a smile on his face the whole time. Maybe a while ago it would have been seen as smug or arrogant, but since she didn’t have to look at him, she could hear the calming voice he also had.

There was the sound of someone lumbering a little down the hall, before straightening their posture. From the other side of her door came a sharp, nasally inhale as Lindhardt began talking. “Hello, Bernadetta.” He spoke. “I can only assume you’re sleeping in there. I’m sure it sounds funny but I know what it’s like to be tired all the time.”

Her fingers brushed through a lock of hair as she stared at her door, listening to his words. “Your mind, it just keeps racing with excitement to the point of burnout.” He mused. “I can tell you have a very brilliant mind. Very creative in problem solving, I can tell you’re someone who wishes to improve upon themselves.”

How easy he makes it sound in concept. She wanted nothing more than to leave all of her flaws behind for the better of those around her and look where that got her. Bernadetta had to admit it was nice to hear these things from someone. Lindhardt at times was too philosophical for her at times, though it seems he always had wisdom to share with anyone at a given time.

“I know things are hard.” He continued. “You know that more than anyone. I can’t fault you too much for retreating to your room for so long.” Lindhardt spoke, a hint of sorrow in his voice. “But I assure you there’s still a reason to come out. After all, you have a dorm full of people who’d love to see you smile again.

The first thing she thought about was all the times he could have seen her smile, but Bernie’s mind quickly jumped to his former comment. Why couldn’t she believe that everyone in this dorm wanted nothing but the best for her and each other. That is what everyone wants for anyone, but she couldn’t help but feel like an exception to the rule.

She could hear their muffled voices from the common area. Were they laughing about her, discussing what to do next, maybe just watching Netflix. What she wouldn’t give to run down and join them. They were all such nice people with each other at times. With all the discourse happening as of late, it was hard to differentiate what their true feelings were for each other.

With the sound of footsteps almost trampling up the stairs, Bernadetta felt an almost familiarity with the walking patterns. When it sounded like said person stumbled near the top steps before muttering an apology, she had a close suspicion on who it was. Said suspicions confirmed when there was only a quiet voice that called out “Hey Bernadetta.”

There came that almost jolt of reaffirmation when it was Caspar. Out of everyone here, she was certain he liked her the most. Bernie was grateful for that, it meant she didn’t have to do too much to enlighten someone like Caspar. Dorothea may have gotten the brunt of Bernie’s bad mood but that didn’t mean she felt just as guilty for how she treated him.

“You know uh… we’ve missed you and all.” He spoke. From the moment he began talking Bernadetta could tell how nervous and unsure he was. Gone was the carefree Caspar, replaced with one that had to trek on thin ice around her. “Listen…” He sighed to her. “Everyone downstairs is having a lot of fun, we’re watching movies to keep ourselves distracted.”

Now Bernadetta wasn’t sure if she should feel guilty that she wasn’t included in her friends activities, or glad that being depressed brought her friends together. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just thought of you as a one note girl with a crush.” Caspar continued. “And… I’m an idiot, I know. You have every right to be mad at me. Tell you what, you can punch me as hard as you can as soon as you come out, we can call it even.”

Those words, it almost brought a smile to her face. For once, someone acknowledged her feelings and offered a sincere apology for their actions. Maybe in a different time, Bernadetta would be able to handle the feelings it gave her better than she was now.

“You know, I’m always excited to see you again.” Caspar told her. Before she could even call out to him, his shadow was gone from the door. If there was someone here who never made Bernie think bad of herself, it was him. Maybe she didn’t think enough of how good of a friend he’s been enough to care. While Bernadetta always felt uncertain about herself around others, it was Caspar who seemed to give her more confidence.

Grabbing the collar of her hoodie, she nuzzled up against her bed as she hugged a pillow. To feel the warmth and comfort of another human being, one who actually meant it. At no point has she ever truly wanted to run from here, from her friends. There was nothing healthy about this coping habit but she wasn’t left with much of a choice.

She started shivering, and had noticed a dark shadow from underneath the door. That was when his voice croaked. “Bernadetta.” Hubert stated.

She backed away from the door in fright. If Hubert had to talk to her then she was really in for it now. “What is happening to you is something awful. Your sorrow as of late has dampened the mood as of late on campus.”

Hiding on the other side of her room, she pulled her hair as he spoke every word. As if she needed a reminder on how this had an effect on everyone around her. 

“It is heartbreaking to see someone like you go through this.

Turning her head towards the source of the voice, Bernadetta approached the door cautiously to hear more. “I wish someone as brilliant as you did not have to suffer such an emotional state.” Hubert explained. “You have such extraordinary talent with a variety of skills. I had my doubts when Edelgard said we’d be taking you in, but you have shown me you are far beyond the mere student here. Please do no fault yourself for being this way. I won’t stand by as you are tormented by malicious thoughts.”

Leaning her head against the door, Bernadetta reached up to put a hand on the surface, hoping at some point she’d find the courage to tell him how much those words meant. It was all a lie, something she was relieved to be able to learn. They were all willing to accept her, help her in a time like this, so why couldn’t she be there for herself.

“Bernie..?”

There it was, the soothing silk of her voice. Bernadetta could picture the brunette locks of hair cascading over her shoulders. Maybe she had a different style today, but no matter what she would always think of the most beautiful girl on campus no matter how she looked.

“I’m… I’m here…” Dorothea started. “I’m here because… I’m here for you.” She said, clearly choked up. Bernie’s fingernails raked down the door, resisting the urge to throw open the door and beg her not to cry. “I know how much you were upset when we fought. Please know I forgive you for what you said. And now I’m here asking you to please forgive yourself.”

She really didn’t want to sniffle, she didn’t want Dorothea to hear her crying, she didn’t want Dorothea to feel guilty for making her cry. All Bernadetta wanted was to be happy, and be able to make someone happy. She had spent the past days sure of herself that she could never live happily with a singular person in this world because of what she did.

“All I want you to know, Bernie.” Dorothea’s voice shook before she sniffed. “Is that I care about you, so, so, so much. You have been one of the greatest friends I had ever made in my time here.” She sobbed quietly. “Please come out… I love you.”

The words didn’t phase Bernadetta as much as she hoped. It was platonic, but still genuine. All she did was wipe her eyes at the sound of hearing those words. Dorothea may say that a lot to everyone, but it still felt so good to hear.

From outside did Dorothea press against the door, and Bernadetta stood up and waited for the door to open. A few seconds passed and she realized Dorothea was no longer there. So much unsaid, so much Bernadetta wanted to tell her. With little to no thought, she reached for the doorknob.

Sobbing, that was the sound that stopped her. Not on the other side, but here in her room. Turning over her shoulder, she investigated the room till she found it’s source. There, curled up at the foot of the bed a young girl sobbed.

There was a sense of pity and anguish within Bernie. All she could do was watch a young girl cry in front of her, haven’t done a thing to deserve the kind of pain she was going through. When she reached a hand out, the girl only swatted it away, getting up and running out the door.

Following her, Bernadetta found herself in a hallway decorated with pictures of the Von Varley family. Even she couldn’t help but stop and stare at one of her favorite photographs taken of her as a kid. There, she sat on her uncle's shoulders smiling while her parents stood beside him.

_ “And so you think she can’t isn’t a good wife?” _ A female voice called out.

_ “I mean come on, she has strange hobbies and wants to stay in her room all day.” _ Another voice, male, responded.

Looking over, she could see the girl eaves drop in on their conversation.  _ “Get a hold of yourself she’s only eight.” _ Her mom scolded her dad.

_ “See you say that but if we don’t start now she’ll never make it in life. She’s gotta find someone to take care of to really prove she can make someone of herself.”  _ The Von Varley’s male household figure spoke.  _ “Her behavior is gonna be corrected, and I know how.” _

It seemed as if her mom merely dismissed the threats. As for the girl, she hung her head down as she sobbed. Walking back to her room, the crying only got louder as the door was closed. Squeezing her hands into fist, she wouldn’t stand here to let that young girl be tormented by terrible parents.

Rounding the corner, she stood as she faced them. Determined to put an end to their misdeeds, she raised her head to look them in the eye.  _ “What are you doing here Bernadetta?”  _ Her dad yelled at her with an enraged look in his eyes.

Her knees buckled under pressure as she raised her arms in defense. She waited for something to harshly grab her or hit her, but all she was met with was a snow gently falling on her arms. Looking around, she could see her childhood neighborhood covered in snow.

Turning her head, Bernadetta narrowly dodged a snowball being thrown as the girl with lavender hair ran past her, chasing a boy around her age.  _ “Missed me.” _ He called out to her playfully. The way they kept playing gave her a sense of nostalgia, remembering there was a time where she did feel genuinely happy.

The young girl stopped at her feet as the snow picked up all around her. Looking over, she could see her dad walk over and grab her by the arm. Dragging her away from her friend, who called out to her. That night, she ate the longest dinner in her life, the knots her father had tied forbade her from leaving the chair. It wasn’t until her mother got tired of hearing her crying that she was freed.

When the snow cleared, there she was on a high school campus, sitting alone. Anyone who talked to her, she’d reject. There was no differentiation between who was being nice and who saw someone to kick when they were down.

It was a long, lonely four years, and all the while she kept to herself. How could she even think about getting close to someone when her parents were trying to correct any flaw she had. All Bernadetta’s father cared about was making her the “perfect wife” for a man out there. Even when she told them she might be into girls, all they did was reaffirm that no woman would want her as a wife if she kept being who she was.

After graduation, it felt like there was no purpose in her life even remaining. How was she supposed to have the courage to make anything of herself when she was taught to hate nearly every aspect of it. For a while she was satisfied with just staying in her room and drawing, playing music and posting online.

Before she knew it, they couldn’t stand her anymore. Gone, out of the house. Her father berated her for being the way she was and her own mother couldn’t even stand to watch her be like this. Soon she was on a train and heading to a college.

And that’s what all led to where Bernadetta was. Nothing changed, here she was still crying alone in her room. That young girl having never left. The past and present had remained consistent.

But yet, it had hardly taken half a year to feel more alive than she had in all of her life. Dancing with someone she had a crush on, drinking and trying recreational drugs all for the fact that her parents weren’t here to tell her otherwise. She threw bottles at someone to protect her friends, met someone in person who praised her art more than they did online, even being credited by setting up someone with their girlfriend.

All of those things weren’t enough to stop her from resorting to old habits, but maybe they were what she needed to convince her that it didn’t need to stay this way. There would be things still out there that would make her retreat back to the safety of her bed without a moment's hesitation.

Leaning down, she brushed the young girls hair out of her eyes. Nothing was deserved, but they couldn’t change that it had happened. Opening her arms, she pulled the young girl into a tight embrace, sobbing as she promised to make it up to her for everything that had happened.

Looking in her mirror, Bernadetta saw her arms wrapped around herself. Holding it for a while longer, she cracked her door open. There were no voices coming from downstairs. Prepared that the moment she set foot outside her room someone would see her and call out to her. Closing the door behind her, she crept downstairs to find the space empty.  The clock showed it was only a quarter past ten. Reasonable, as they did have class tomorrow. Knowing well she was going to attend, Bernadetta rummaged through the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. Sitting on the couch, the tv had been left on Netflix.

Watching cartoons and munching on cereal, Bernadetta couldn’t think of a time in recent memory where she was this relaxed. Eating food, not worrying if someone would see her. She had washed the bowl, and then her face in the sink when the front door opened.

Quickly drying her face, she turned to see Edelgard, Caspar, and Ferdinand entering with bags of food. Their casual chatter came to a stop as they noticed her staring at them. “Bernadetta, it’s great to see you.” Edelgard told her, clearly surprised to be seeing her.

There was a brief silence, one that Bernadetta knew she needed to close. Taking a step forward, her pace picked up as she opened her arms and threw herself into Edelgard’s embrace, who was quick in returning the affection.

Setting down their bags briefly, Caspar and Ferdinand joined them. The four sharing in a comforting embrace that was much needed for all of them. Nuzzling against her house lead's shoulder, it was the first time in so long that Bernadetta had the strength to even speak.

“Thank you, guys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed. This one was kinda difficult to write as some crummy stuff happened to me, and I'm not even talking about *other* c-word that's going around.
> 
> Also fun fact, I had finished writing Dorothea's speech when I realized I forgot to write Ferdinand.


	19. Bernies have feelings as well

Professor Byleth was patient, but Bernadetta was even more impatient. The girl was eager to catch up on lost work as quickly as she could. While her teacher appreciated the enthusiasm, he knew it best that she pace herself. He was worried most of her burning out again. His lessons were paced, twice a week after class, ninety minutes dedicated to catching on work she had missed.

It was her eagerness to study that surprised him the most. With her return to class did Bernadetta’s desire to continue her education start to grow. She was radiating a more positive energy about her as of late, having her classmates to thank for that. Though while she had still been reluctant to leave her room, she had come to enjoy her time out of solitude more frequently.

“I… I got it?” She asked her teacher, who nodded to her.

“Yeah, I knew you could.” He encouraged her. “That should have you all caught up on everything you missed.” Byleth told her.

“R-really?” Bernadetta asked, taken aback by her accomplishment. She never did let it set in how much work she had been doing. “You’re saying I’m all caught up.”

“Correct,” Her teacher had confirmed. “Go, enjoy the weekend. Next week you’ll start to see more preparations for finals.” He explained. “For now, relax.” Byleth instructed.

Between all the praise and accomplishments, Bernadetta couldn’t help but tremble in her own excitement. “Thank you so much, professor.” She tried to stammer out. “For your help, I mean.” The girl reassured as she got from her seat.

Stepping out of class felt like a breath of fresh air. Bernadetta couldn’t remember the last time it felt this nice to be out of her room. The bustling optimism within her was at an almost concerning level for her, yet she seemed to pay that thought no mind as she put in her earbuds.

Throughout her walk, all Bernadetta could think about was how great it’d be if no one else were on campus, and she danced her way through to the song. From skipping to twirling, she wouldn’t be very good at it, and there wasn’t a chance she’d dare do it in public. To her, it was exhilarating to feel so free after spending so long in confinement. 

Her short daydreams were cut by the sound of her phone vibrating. Figuring it was a Black Eagles group chat message, Bernie was met with the anxious surprise of it being from Claude in the shared group chat between houses. Judging by the first few words of the message, she could tell it was addressing the growing tension between all of them. Part of her was certain this was where he calls out everyone in her dorm as terrible people and to encourage the others in ridding her house from campus.

Against her better judgement, she swiped it open and read the message.

_ Dearest Three Houses,  _ __   
_   
_ __ It’s quite clear that tension between the three of us has grown unfathomably over the past month or so. I am here on behalf of our wonderful house leaders to address this and hopefully ease the anxieties some of you may have.

_ I am not here to lay the particular blame on one house or another, or even take it myself. The three of us all had a disagreement that we admittedly took personal to a fault. Thankfully we’ve been able to talk aside our differences. _

_ Never once did we want any of you guys to feel you couldn’t talk to us or your friends if they were in different houses and we sincerely apologize to anyone who felt this way because of our bee ess. To make it up to you all, we’ve decided to gather outside of the dorms and drink and get stoned for old times sake. As we all know, drinking and smoking drugs together is the best way to patch things up. Pizza will be provided. _

If there was anyone here who could save everyone from themselves, it was Claude. Bernadetta figured if there were more figures like him growing up, she’d probably have a much better outlook on life. With his humorful takes came relief that the situation was finally over. While she never did have that many close friends in the other houses, it did result in an overall morale boost on an already bright mood.

For a Friday evening, the lawn of the Golden Deer dorms didn’t have too many people. Just Edelgard, Dimitri, Claude, alongside Hilda and Marianne, Sylvain and Ingrid, and Dorothea. As much as the call to join them beckoned her, Bernie just didn’t have it in her at the moment. Only giving a distant wave, her room had called her back after a long day.

To say she wanted to isolate herself for the day wouldn’t be entirely true. Bernadetta was certainly going to crack her window open and listen to her friends have fun with each other for the first time in what felt like ages.

With a cool spring evening breeze and the sounds of her friends laughing with each other, Bernie was able to sigh and relax without having to worry about what was happening outside her door. Pulling out her sketchpad, she decided to use this time to practice coloring, sketching an open window with a spectrum of colors bleeding through.

From the moment she stepped foot in her room, Bernadetta had well prepared herself mentally to leave it soon. So it came as no surprise when a pair of voices approached her closer with the intention of getting her attention.

“She might be asleep.” Someone below said.

A different voice spoke up. “Should we just yell out to her?” 

“Just text her.”

Hearing their words, Bernie felt cheeky in disregarding the notification light on her phone blinking at her. Whenever she could tell her friends wanted to invite her out to something, Bernadetta couldn’t help it finding herself riddled with excitement. These feelings had become a welcome addition for her.

Peeking out from her window, she looked down to see Caspar and Dorothea talking with each other. “Hey guys.” She said, hopeful it was enough to catch her attention.

There was an expected delay in Caspar finding registering her voice, looking up to see her looking out the window. Cupping his hands over his mouth, Bernie’s friend called out to her. “Oh, hey Bernie.” He called out. “Come on down. We got pizza and everything!”

“Bernie!” Dorothea called out. “You don’t have to but you’re more than welcome to join us.”

“Edelgard brought pot and Claude brought alcohol so you don’t have to do this sober if you don’t want to.” Caspar called out, receiving a light smack from the brunette.

There was little hesitation in her choice. “I’m gonna change first real quick.” Bernadetta called back. The tedious process of finding clothes for the late nights of April. With how long it had been since she had ever presented herself outside of her room to other houses, she figured it was the perfect time to look her best.

The tank top was an impulse buy when she saw how well it fit her, and the ripped jeans were something she really liked wearing. Having a hoodie tied around her waist as always, the only part of herself that Bernadetta could never seem to get right was taming her floofy hair. “We really need a haircut, don’t we Bernie.” She thought to herself as she stepped out the door.

Feeling the air outside was a jarring feeling to her. Maybe it was the season, the context, or perhaps she just was that unuse to going outside this frequently. Timidly approaching the group of students, Bernadetta could see how well they fit into this. They could tell when others were joking, being sincere, and cared about the others feelings on certain topics. For Bernadetta, college meant learning those all over again for a noticeable age gap. “Come on, Bernie. Getting better doesn't mean staying in your room all day.”

Checking herself mentally to keep her chin lifted, Bernadetta walked over to the group. “Hey…” She introduced herself.

“Hey you.” Dorothea greeted excitedly. Always eager to greet her, Bernie noticed. Dorothea was just the kind of a person who perfected the skill of making others feel welcome and accepted with just her presence alone. 

“Hey hey Bernie, feel free to grab some pizza.” Claude called out, his eyes peeking out from behind his sunglasses. As she reached for a plate, Bernadetta couldn’t help but spy a marijuana cigarette tucked in his ear.

“Yeah, we just barely stopped Claude from eating the last of it.” Hilda teased.

“I ask,” Claude stated. “I was like “is anyone else gonna eat this?” and you were like “yo hold up let’s make sure Bernadetta, our good friend, has some food if she would like-”

“Claude shut up.” Hilda retorted. “You were the one who ate my Taco Bell, don’t even try and deny it.”

The accusations were enough to bring amusement to everyone’s faces. Ingrid let her curiosity get the better of her. “Oh I think you were telling me about this one night, Hilda.”

“Things were… turbulent in the House of the Golden Deer.” Claude informed everyone, causing a few bits of laughter to seep out. “Thankfully, my leadership skills were able to resolve this.”

“Yeah great leadership.” Hilda quipped. “Start a problem, be the solution.” She crossed her arm. “You still owe me money for that.” The girl scolded, leaning forward. 

“Look Hilda,” Claude started, but she wouldn’t have any of it.

“No excuses!” She called out to him.

“You were three shots into the night-” He explained.

“Don’t you dare say I was too drunk to remember.”

“Three shots in.” He held up three fingers. “And then you went up stairs with Marianne to your room. I knew you weren’t going to come down.” Claude emphasized, shaking his head at her.

“No that doesn't mean you-”

“You left a perfectly good chulapa in the fridge and I was drunk also so guess what I was riddled with guilt the entire time I ate it okay.” He leaned into her amused face. “I cried tears of guilt the entire time I ate it.”

“Good I was hoping you’d puke it up in the morning.” She told him.

“I didn’t. Felt pretty good the following morning in fact.” Claude responded.

Edelgard and Dimitri were anything but surprised by the story of their friend. “This is the exact kind of thing I would expect to hear about you, Claude.” Edelgard pointed out. “I can tell you’re growing to the mischievous adult we always knew you’d be.”

“He even tried to tell me I ate it and was too drunk to remember.” Hilda pointed out to them.

“What are you talking about Hilda, you were hammered. I watched you eat the whole thing.” Claude tried to tell her.

“Oh that’s nothing. Remember the time  _ you _ were drunk and did something really stupid?” Edelgard asked him.

“You are going to have to try really hard because I am the most well behaving drunks I know.” Claude argued.

“Hell no.” Edelgard retorted.

“The hell you are.” Dimitri said, leaning his head back.

“No.” Claude tried to fight back. “I, hand to gosh.” I said, raising his left hand into the air. “I have always been good.”

“Remember the time you smashed your head into the sidewalk while leaving Homecoming Sophomore year?” Edelgard asked, cracking a knowing grin.

“That was by far, the only Homecoming dance I remember enjoying myself at.” He recounted nostalgically.

Dimitri chimed in with his side of things. “I still remember seeing the tiny bottle and knowing you were going to get yourself in trouble.”

“Thank you for being the friend who stayed quiet that night.” The Golden Deer’s leader told his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder. “And to you,” He placed the other on Edelgard’s shoulder. “Thank you for taking care of me. I was planning to play a prank on you and pretend I had amnesia but when I saw all the effort you put in to take care of me I backed out last second.”

Edelgard took note of his response, knowing very well her friend would never stoop to that level. “How would you like to learn what electroshock therapy is like, Claude?”

Claude stayed, staring at her with a deadpan expression before responding. “I’d make sure to say something before you shoved a washcloth into my mouth.”

“Come on guys, let’s not start more discourse over hypotheticals.” Dimitri chided at their antics.

“Just remembered who it was who got you stoned for the first time after getting turned down by their Senior Ball date.” Claude told her.

“I know, and I am eternally grateful.” Edelgard told him.

“Oh yeah, I heard about that!” Dorothea pointed out. “I ended up being your date because of that.”

“Monica was weird anyways.” Claude told her, producing the rolled paper from behind his ear. “Alright, who wants to hit this?”

Almost everyone there raised their hands, Bernadetta almost unable to balance a plate and the piece of pizza she was biting when she tried to raise hers. Soon the aroma in the air changed and before she knew her eyes were glazed over and the pizza was long gone.

“So you guys knew each other in high school?” Caspar asked.

“Yeah, she’s a year behind me.” Edelgard recounted, leaning up against the table. “She didn’t start till my Junior year though.”

“I also didn’t go to that school my Senior year also.” Dorothea pointed out, inhaling the smoke before passing it to Edelgard.

Taking it between her fingers, Edelgard recounted her youth. “Yeah, you and I met after a pep rally. I could tell you had a crush on a guy you were talking to and I had to be the one to tell you that he was gay.”

“And you know what,” Dorothea leaned towards her. “You were there for me during my heartbreak so I was there for yours as well.” She joked, making the two laugh.

Edelgard smiled at her, placing the joint into her mouth and inhaling. Dorothea took the chance to take a candid look at her friend who looked down at the camera and flashed a smug grin as she held the smoking paper in her mouth. With the dusk sky for a backdrop, the brunette looked the photo over with high satisfaction.

Bernadetta could feel the temptation to ask Dorothea about taking photos. It was no secret the songstress’s instagram was littered with pictures of candids of her and her friends. While the selfie post was oh so flattering to Bernie, what she wouldn’t give to be the subject of her photography. 

“Maybe then you could see just how happy you make me.” Bernadetta thought, looking over at Dorothea.

Her lips parting to speak, the sound of hacking and rough coughing was enough to steer everyone’s attention.

Edelgard struggled to stand, her face beat red as she stood before the Professor. Rushing over, Claude took the joint from her hands before she could drop it on the ground and offered her some water.

“Pr-” She coughed violently. “Profe-” The girl attempted, but was met with more coughing as she sipped her water. “Professor…” Edelgard had managed to breath out. “I wasn’t,” Pausing briefly to clear her throat. “I didn’t know you were coming. I apologize.”

“No, it’s fine.” Byleth told her, showing hints of amusement on his face. “I was meaning to contact you but you weren’t answering your phone.” He explained, looking over at the group.

“I sincerely apologize, my phone is back in my room.” She glanced at her dorms briefly. “Was it urgent? Is there an emergency?” Edelgard prodded.

“Not necessarily.” He informed her, glancing over her shoulder. Looking back, Edelgard was greeted to the sight of Dimitri holding the blunt in his mouth, head raised into the air as Claude cheered him on.

“Let’s… I think it’s best we talk somewhere else.” She told him, trying to mask her amusement with frustration for her friends. “Can you just give me a few moments?”

“Of course, take your time.” Byleth told her, walking off. 

With her professor hopefully out of earshot, Edelgard turned around and stormed directly to her fellow house leaders. “Okay, Claude I would expect this from, but you?” She pointed at Dimitri. “Would it kill you to act a little more professional when my teacher is here?”

“I’m sorry,” Dimitri told her, blowing some smoke away as he talked. “He was really relaxed when he was at your house party. I figured he’d be fine about it.” The blond explained.

“Edelgard.” Claude looked at her, straight faced. “Your professor,” He explained. “He is extremely attractive.”

“Very funny, Claude.” Edelgard deadpanned. “You’re just lucky the professor is more lax on our antics as opposed to  _ other _ teachers.”

“I know, isn’t he dreamy?” Claude batted his eyelashes to the best of his ability at her.

Knowing very well if she displayed any hint of attraction, that Claude would pounce at first sign. Holding a stern face, she feigned humor in her friend's antics. “I’m happy you admire him. If you were to join my class, you might learn something about proper leadership.”

“From you? As if.” Claude retorted. “You’re so short, if you do oral you have to go up on someone.”

The briefest of silence was broken when Caspar, who was mid sip on a beer, threw his head towards the ground as he sprayed everything out of his mouth. Soon laughter broke out among everyone, leaving Edelgard to hang her face red in shame. Deep down, the girl could hardly suppress the smile that was growing on her face.

Raising her head, she looked at the Golden Deer leader in defeat. “Fuck you, Claude.” She stated, her lips stretched in a grin.

“I am sorry but I’ve had that one for so long I had to.” Claude explained. “Edie I love you I want you to know that.”

“Fuck you.” She told him. “I love you too.” Edelgard said to Claude, turning to leave.

There was a silence that fell among the group. As soon as Claude picked up that no one wasn’t sure what to say, he knew it’d be up to him to speak up. “I’m amazed she didn’t kill me for that.”

“Oh yeah,” Dimitri agreed. “That’s the part I was laughing most at.”

Dorothea spoke up. “She probably would have if the professor heard you.”

“Oh definitely.” Claude agreed, nodding his head. “She would have gutted me and would have stood there, nodding along,” He said, crossing his arms. “And he’d be like “Now Edelgard, you aren’t using what I taught you.” The Golden Deer leader impersonated.

“She’ll do anything to get an A from him.” Dorothea teased.

“And He’ll go “anything” and Edelgard will go “Yes professor sexy buns, anything to get an A from you.” Claude continued, ignoring the critique on his Edelgard.

“That’s not what she sounds like.” Sylvain called out to him.

“She’ll say that, in that exact voice.” Claude prephased, trying to keep a straight face. “And the Professor will just go “overthrow the Dean and take over the school” and Edelgard would be so happy.”

“Who can blame her, I remember sneaking liquor to a guy I had a crush on.” Dorothea recalled. “I also lost a pair of shoes just to impress another girl I liked.”

“Was this the girl who you met during cheerleader tryouts?” Ingrid chimed in. 

“Yeah!” Dorothea pointed out. “Camilla. Oh she was so hot!” She had no problem exclaiming.

“When you cartwheeled and fell down a hill so Sylvain and I had to help you out.” The blonde recalled. 

Nodding, Dorothea hung her head as she tried to suppress her laughter. “And I limped all the way to your house,” Her hair bobbed as she struggled to suck in a breath. “And the whole…” Dorothea raised her head to reveal the tears of laughter streaming down her face as she wheezed for air. “All the way there you just basically called me a dumbass. It was at that moment I knew I was never destined to be loved.”

“The worst part was you spent half the night checking your phone like “I think she’ll text back” and I didn’t have the heart to tell you to let it the fuck go.” Ingrid told her, laughing alongside her friend at their recollection.

“Worst part was the presentation.” Sylvain recounted. “Like you landed the cartwheel, but then you stumbled over and that’s what started it all.”

“And the whole way down I’m just thinking to myself ‘So help me if you bust your head open on a rock.” Ingrid said.

“My falling down in High School story was way cooler.” Claude commented.

“Best part was you,” He continued. “Trying to get up, and crawl out, and not being able to.” Sylvain paused as the girls clutched their sides. “And after sliding back down the third time you just kinda weakly reached your arms up like ‘Help please.”

“Be honest Dorothea, you were trying to make yourself look helpless so she’d come help you.” Ingrid prodded.

“No, my ankle was legit fucked that night.” She asserted.

“Don’t lie, I can see you doing that.” Claude told her. “You absolutely are the kind of girl, you’d be stuck down there like,” The man turned his body to have his backside and spoke in an exaggerated feminine voice. “Oh no, I’m stuck. Help me.” Topping off his words with a batt of his eyelashes.

“This girl was extremely hot, okay!?” Dorothea blurted out. “If you saw her you’d be totally horny for her like I was.” She admitted.

Bernadetta would help but blush a deep red at what she was saying. She had spent about half of the month trying to not think about any of her feelings for her. Now here she was having to hear about how horny she was for a girl in high school.

“Did you ever see her again?” Caspar asked.

“Yeah, a few times. She would just say hi to me and that was it.”

Maybe it was the minor inebriations of alcohol and mairjuana, but Bernadetta found the idea of bruising up your shins for someone only for you to be nothing to them but a passing face to be humorous. This was to Dorothea, who was younger, but probably still pretty, and still had many friends who cared about her at the time. There was irony to be had in the situation from her perspective which led to a small snort of laughter.

“Don’t laugh at me Bernie.” Dorothea stated in her trademark teasing tone. “I know for a fact you’d try hard to impress a hot girl.”

Now that hit her hard. It’s as if Dorothea knew all along and had just slapped her in the face with it. A hit Bernadetta knew how to take well. “I-I uh…” She tried to stammer.

“I know you got a crush. I can see it in your eyes.” Dorothea accused, turning to her.

“Uhm, don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bernie said, standing up from her chair without thinking. “I uh… gotta use the bathroom.”

“Aw come on, don’t run from this.” Sylvain called out to her.

“Yeah, come on, Bernie.” Dorothea teased, leaning towards her. “Who is it?”

“N-no one.” She tried to defend herself, slowing backing away from the group.

“I know you’re lying.” The brunette shook her head.

“Guys, let her take a piss already.” Caspar chided them.

“Caspar, who do you have a crush on?” Sylvain asked.

“Oh, that’s easy.” Caspar stated excitedly, taking a sip from his beer. “The professor.”

“Bullshit.” Dorothea called.

“You for real?” Sylvain called to him.

“Edelgard’s gonna fight you.” Claude told him.

“I didn’t say it was mine.” Was Caspar’s response.

With that, the whole group erupted with a slew of accusations thrown at him. Taking them in stride, Caspar smiled in success at diverting everyone’s attention as Bernadetta made her getaway. 

She had trouble washing them with how much her hands trembled. Cold water splashed on her face as she inhaled deeply through her nose. She didn’t think being put on the spot like that would have that sort of effect on her. “Just… breathe Bernie…” She told herself.

Dorothea didn’t mean any harm, she didn’t. Bernadetta knew that. “Your feelings are a joke anyways, Bernie.” She thought to herself.

It was a while before she could finally compose herself. The trembling had ceased, and Bernadetta took a look at herself in the mirror. “We’ve come back from worse than this, right? Let’s get back out there.”

The self pep-talk was meant for the group outside, so Bernie wasn’t anticipating running into Dorothea in the common area. As the brunette had grabbed a beer from the fridge, she had turned to see Bernadetta walking out the door behind.

“Oh Bernie, wait.” She called out to her. The interaction itself started out so casually. Dorothea rushed over to her friend. “Hey, you doing alright?”

Bernadetta was caught off guard. Even when she didn’t sweat the minor anxiety attack, here Dorothea was looking out for her safety. “Oh uh… I’m fine.” She said.

The answer seemed satisfying enough, Bernie figured. Dorothea gave a considerate smile to her. “Hey, listen. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that out there.” She said to her. 

Now an apology for something Bernadetta had just learned to accept as something that happens when you put yourself out to people. While there was no way she’d ever admit her crush to all three houses at once, there was the small part of her who enjoyed the idea of people wanting to know more about her.

But she still wasn’t sure if it was something she’d want to know.

“You didn’t do anything. It’s fine.” Bernie told her quickly, hanging her head low as she continued to the door.

“Bernie, wait.” Dorothea called out.

Never did Bernadetta think someone would press her to accept an apology this hard. For once she didn’t think any of it was necessary, and Dorothea’s persistence was starting to wear thin on her.

“Just forget it Dorothea.” Bernie glanced back at her. “It’s fine.”

Then she stopped, right where she was standing. Bernadetta felt Dorothea’s fingers gently wrap around her wrist, thumb tucked towards her index finger. “Bernie, I don’t want us to have another fight like this.”

For all the things for Dorothea to bring up, this was a low blow. Even a month after it had happened did the effects of their argument still linger. The straw that broke the camel's back and sent Bernadetta into hiding. Tears started to well up in her eyes at how sorry she still was all that time ago.

“It’s… it’s fine.” Bernadetta sniffled. If there was any positive to take away from this, Dorothea was the only person in the house that could see her crying. As far as she knew it was just the two of them in the house.

Dorothea approached Bernadetta from the side, pulling her into a tight embrace from the side.

She stared forward, almost repulsed by all of it. No one has ever been this nice to her when she acted like this, no one ever bothered by the fact that she was currently sobbing. For Dorothea to do this for her, Bernadetta couldn’t hold back as she turned and returned the hug.

Figuring it a good time, Bernadetta let loose. She couldn’t remember the last time someone let them cry on their shoulder. “I… I never told you how sorry I was.” She sobbed out.

“It’s alright, I’ve always forgiven you.” Dorothea told her, rocking her gently side to side. “I know you heard me outside your room that night. Just know I could never stay mad at you. You’re such a wonderful person to be around, Bernie.”

That was enough. Bernadetta refused to let it go on any longer. Pulling away, Bernadetta looked back at Dorothea. Whether she wanted to hear it or not, was no longer her choice.

“It’s you.” Bernadetta finally admitted.

Dorothea's eyes narrowed. When Bernadetta spoke those words she was certain that a terrible mistake had been made. “It is true, isn’t it?” She asked. When met with a reluctant nod, she could only sigh.

“Bernie-”

“I… I know you probably didn’t want to hear that from me.” Bernadetta interjected. Dorothea looked up at her, allowing her to continue talking. “But… but I’ve had a crush on you for almost as long as I’ve been here I-it uhm… I didn’t think it would get this bad at first, I just liked how you liked in photos and then sketched one and… next thing I knew I felt like I was totally in love with you and… I’ve been jealous, and I’ve hated myself for looking at you in an attractive sort of way when it wasn’t appropriate but Dorothea you’re probably the greatest person I’ve ever met in my life.”

Dorothea could feel her lips part slightly at the words. All of this, those kinds of thoughts from Bernadetta. “I… always had a feeling.” She confessed. “But Bernie, I never knew you felt that way.”

“I’m sorry-”

“Why are you sorry.” Dorothea interjected.

“You probably wanted to be confessed to by someone who has it all together and is way hotter than me.”

Smirking, Dorothea looked back at her friend. “Now come on, don’t sell yourself short.” She told her before hugging her tightly again. “There’s nothing wrong with feeling this way. I don’t think any less of you because of a crush on me.”

“But I felt like my feelings for you trump what you feel for me.”

Looking towards the wall, Dorothea processed her thoughts for a while. “Bernie… I-I don’t think now’s the time for that.” She explained. “I don’t want you to worry about that right now, I don’t have an answer at the moment.”

“I didn’t want to drop it on you like this.”

“No matter what, you are still my friend.” Dorothea explained.

Bernadetta pulled away and looked back at Dorothea. Now the two were burdened with an awkward air around them. “H-hey, how about we just go outside and forget about this for the time being?”

She knew very well they’d have to come back to this later, but for now, their friends were waiting. “Of course, Bernie.” She said. As she grabbed the doorknob, she turned back to her friend.

“And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about your crush.” She told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that if there's any character who would be just as horny for Camilla as we all are, it's Dorothea. The story about her falling over was an on the fly thing I wrote while writing this chapter. I really like characters bantering like this


	20. Bonus Chapter: Edelgard makes right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting a quickie for now

Edelgard could just about kill Claude if the professor wasn’t here. Of all the time for him to make crass jokes like that. She could only silently pray to the gods that her teacher didn’t pick up on their conversation.

That wasn’t to say she didn’t find amusement in messing around with friends. After the turbulent weeks she had with them, there was no denying she was in need of a reminder on why they were friends in the first place.

They went as far back as the first grade, the three of them. It all started when they were sitting at the same table on the first day and the rest was history. Spending recess together, going over to each other's houses. Even before she met Hubert, Dimitri and Claude were a part of Edelgard's life.

But then she wasn’t around much for middle school. If there was anyone who took notice in her change of behavior and hair color, it was them. From then on, she felt a strong desire to make right what had happened to her, and sadly it seemed as though they may not be on her side when it came to finding peace for what had happened.

As of now, she was in the process of seeking forgiveness from the friends and colleagues she mistreated in the past. The lingering thought shared among her class at how terrible of a house leader she had been. Interrupting class, dragging her classmates into a crusade against their Dean, Edelgard couldn’t help but think of herself as the textbook example of a failure as leader. Sure Hubert was supportive of her decisions and advised her many times, but Edelgard knew some of her choices were more than frowned upon within her own house. 

Silently, she prayed Bernadetta had an easier time forgiving her than she did herself.

After everything she put them through, Edelgard was all but certain Dimitri and Claude would never want to speak to her again. Willing to throw aside life long friendships for her goals, was she the dedicated leader she envisioned herself to be, or a ruthless dictator hellbent on crushing anything obstacle in her path, no matter the sentiment.

Though as of right now, that wasn’t the world Edelgard was living in. After seeing how unstable Dimitri truly was at the time, and watching Claude plee with them to try and resolve things peacefully, she was surprised to see the smile on their faces, laughing alongside others, cracking jokes at each other's expense without any hesitation.

Though in all of this, no matter how much she screwed up, even at her lowest, Byleth never lost his faith in her. Edelgard was certain she didn’t deserve a teacher like him. If anything, he was the true Black Eagles leader, someone she yearned to stand side by side as an equal in skill and intellect some day.

Standing in the sunlight, casually carrying a conversation with someone, he was waiting patiently for her. Mustering up the strength to set aside her inebriations, Edelgard did her best to keep herself composed as she walked towards her professor, who conversed with a familiar green haired girl.

“Uhm…” She struggled to find even the proper wording to say hello to her teacher. “Sorry about that, professor. You know how Claude is with his jokes.”

Catching his attention, the professor turned towards her and smiled. “Oh, don’t worry. It’s fine.” He chuckled lightly. “I’m glad to see you’re all being friends again.”

Gripping the sleeve of her shirt, Edelgard glanced to the side. There was no telling just how highly her teacher was thinking of her at this very moment. First she was urging him to not listen to anything Dimitri and Claude were trying to say, her frustration with the two being taken out in the smallest of ways against her own housemates.

Now here she was, smoking pot with her friends and laughing at old stories like nothing had happened. From the way it looked, Edelgard had bowed in defeat at the realization that starting the campus equivalent of all out war wasn’t going to be worth the effort.

“So, what was it you needed to tell me?” Edelgard asked, hoping to dodge the topic. “I wouldn’t want to eat away at your time spent with…” She hesitated as she looked at the girl. “...your daughter.”

Byleth seemed confused by her statement, glancing towards his companion. “Oh… uhm…”

“Ech!” Sothis voiced her disgust, walking away.

Edelgard could feel her cheeks start to heat up in embarrassment. Words couldn’t piece together an apology fast enough on her past. “I… sincerely apologize.” She stated, hoping to gloss over the mistake she just made.

“It’s fine,” Byleth waved it off. “That’s uh… something for another time.” He told her. “I figured you’d appreciate the news, but Rhea says she’ll stay out of my business from now on.” The teacher smiled. “I’m free to teach any subject now the way I see fit.”

At first there was relief, the victory Edelgard had worked so hard to achieve. Then came guilt, the feeling that she didn’t deserve to feel any kind of happiness from this. Even after all she had done to her friends, she still got what she wanted in the end.

“That’s… that’s great news.” She told him, trying to portray just the slight amount of happiness with herself. The only thing that made her hate herself more was that fact that it was in front of the professor of all people.

“Are you sure, I was certain you’d be more excited?” Byleth asked her. For someone so emotionally stunted, he was good at picking up on details that signalled something being wrong.

There was probably no way out of this one for her, and so Edelgard let it slip. “Oh no, it’s great news. I almost just wished I felt I deserved it.” She said, glancing towards the ground. There was a brief silence in the air between them before she figured it best to break it herself. “I… feel I make things right with all I’ve done lately because of it.”

“Edelgard, I don’t think less of you for what happened. You were stressed, and frustrated.” Byleth reasoned. 

“I appreciate your words, professor.” She responded. “But it’s the others who I’ll have a harder time making things right with.” Edelgard looked back at him. “I… feel even after apologies, I still feel I may have caused some permanent damage to everyone I cared about.”

Byleth tried to sympathize, but something held him back from truly understanding how Edelgard felt. Approaching her, he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, which she accepted. “I know things were hard on all of you recently, but you should rest.”

“But how can I after all of it?” Edelgard pleaded. “I’ve spent the better half of my evening surrounded by people I considered an enemy not long ago.” 

“Well, did them being your enemy not make you care for them?” Byleth asked.

Edelgard looked downward, her cheeks lightly inflating. “Of course I did… I could never stop caring about them, what’s why it hurt so much.” She said, before turning and embracing Byleth. “I just wanted to thank you for standing by my side.”

“Edelgard, you’re someone worth standing with. I hope you know that.” He responded, his arms wrapped around her as he stared straight ahead.

Their hug was brief, and Edelgard tried to the hint of red on her cheeks when she pulled away. “Thank you, for your kind words, Byleth.’ She told him, wondering if she’d be chided for using his first name. “You know, this may be strange, but you’re more than welcome to call me El if you’d like.”

This was met merely with seeming indifference, as Byleth grinned lightly. “Sure thing, I’ll remember you told me that.”

She pulled away from his touch, pouting. “Was kinda hoping you’d call me it right now.” Edelgard muttered, as her teacher turned and walked away. “Would you like to join us? I understand if it’s too rowdy for you, everyone’s just trying to have fun.”

Turning to her, Byleth happily accepted. “Don’t worry, your friends couldn’t throw something I can’t handle.” He reassured her.

This only raised more questions in her mind, but Edelgard decided to keep her silence as the two walked back to the Dorm area. 

As the sun set under the dusk sky, the two were met with the sound of music playing from a speaker. Seeing her friends, they had gathered around a fire pit, Marianne and Hilda slow dancing together near the flames. Noting Bernadetta and Dorothea’s absence, Edelgard quickly approached her friends. “Sorry about that, did anything noteworthy happen while I was gone?” She asked casually, reaching for a drink from a cooler.

“Nothing really, Bernie went to use the bathroom and Dorothea’s in there grabbing a drink or something.” Caspar explained. 

“Say teach, you’re not gonna rat us out for smoking outside, are you?” Claude asked, holding a marijuana cigarette in his mouth as he used his lighter.

“No, mainly because it’d be too much of a hassle.” Byleth commented.

“That’s a relief,” Claude responded, blowing out some smoke. “I know Seteth went through the trouble of encouraging the Dean to write a strongly worded email when he caught us.”

“You got that email too?” Ingrid called out. 

“Yeah,” Claude quickly replied.

“I never did ask anyone about it. I barely read it.” Sylvain told them.

“I saw the email and it said it was from Rhea but I feel like it was written by Seteth.” Claude explained. “He was like “Hey hey people, Seteth here.” His voice impersonation was successful in making the others laugh. “I caught students smoking grass. Dean Rhea, I would suggest writing a strongly worded email in response remind them of the dangers of marijuana smoking.”

Caspar managed to catch his breath enough to point out. “I don’t think he was like that.”

“He was more just like, kinda condescending about it.” Claude recalled. “Just the kind of “Look what we have here” kinda thing adults do.” 

“Oh yeah, I wasn’t worried about him catching us.” Hilda called out, still holding onto Marianne. 

“We were just like ‘damn fed boy caught us slipping.” Claude quoted. “Meanwhile Professor Byleth over here is cool.” He turned to the teacher. “You wanna hit this.”

Shrugging, he kindly accepted. Everyone watched with anticipation as the professor inhaled a deep amount of smoke, holding his breath calmly before gently exhaling. Brushing off the looks, he passed it over to Edelgard, who took it between her fingers without breaking eye contact.

Leaning back in his chair, Caspar was the first to say something. “You’re the greatest teacher I’ve ever had.” He told him. Before Byleth had the chance to say something, he interjected again. “Except for my Third Grade teacher, she was amazing.”

“Thanks Caspar.” Byleth told him, propping himself against a table.

“Were you a party animal in college?” Claude asked.

“Claude!” Edelgard lectured. 

“Come on, I’m just asking.” He retorted.

“It’s fine,” Byleth waved off. “I’ll say this much, I challenge you guys to find something I couldn’t handle.”

“Have you ever gone to a Fair on lsd before?” Claude asked, Dimitri and Edelgard unable to look in his direction.

“Just lsd?” Byleth asked, casually taking a sip from his drink.

Grasping his head, Claude admitted defeat. “There’s nothing we can do to top what you did.”

“Please drop this.” Edelgard pleaded.

“Please Claude.” Dimitri was on the verge of begging.

“Sorry but, can’t tell too many stories.” The teacher explained. “That’d be going into tmi territory.”

“Please don’t bring up that incident.” Edelgard argued with Claude.

“It was you who brought the tab-”

“End!” Edelgard cut in. “Of the story.”

“Okay but, can we please go back to that Fair next month. Like a group outing, please.” Claude was now asking.

As annoyed as she was, Edelgard couldn’t stay mad at her friend. Smiling, she spoke. “Well, if it is a sober experience this time, I’d be more than happy to go again.”

“I guess this time will be a better experience than last. I’m in.” Dimitri agreed. “On the condition we invite everyone.”

“Yeah, I’m down.” Claude agreed. “You two can have a date,” He pointed out Hilda and Marianne, the latter hiding her face in embarrassment. “For the most part everyone just splits off into groups and then goes home.”

With all the discussion going on, the group hardly noticed the return of Dorothea and Bernadetta. “What’s going on?”

“Three Houses outing to the Fair next month.” Dimitri explained.

Claude chimed in with “Sort of a campus expedition into town.” 

“That sounds fun.” She turned to Bernadetta. “Would that be something you’d want to do?”

No one seemed to notice, but as soon as Dorothea asked, Edelgard could tell Bernadetta wasn’t expecting such a direct question. The way the girl nearly buckled her knees, how she stammered a brief “O-of course.” How the brunette smiled at her in response.

Glancing to her side, the Black Eagle leader could see her teacher, watching the chatter among everyone with a look of curiosity. “Say professor, would you care to join us then?”

There was an answer for a question he was expecting. “Yeah, I’ll probably have to bring a plus one though.”

“Oh, that…” Edelgard white knuckled her fists. “That’s alright. I was just wondering if you wanted to spend time with us.”

“I can.” He told her, turning to face her. “My acquaintance isn’t too much trouble on her own.”

Loosening her grip, Edelgard smiled. “Then I have something to look forward to, finally.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda wish I made Byleth a female in this fic at times. Oh well, always another time.


	21. Bernie says so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and sorry for the lack of communication. Life keeps taking strange new forms that it's hard to keep up with at times.
> 
> But for those of you who have waited, I hope the chapters suffices.

  
  


_ Class had ended, and Bernadetta sighed another breath of relief. The day was over, she was still intact, and now she could go home and rest. Her classmates were all preoccupied, giving her some much appreciated “Indoors time.” Walking outside, she grabbed her earbuds and was ready to listen to some music when a voice caught her attention. _

_ “Hey Bernie!” Dorothe called out, quickly catching up to her. “I had to grab something from my dorm before going to work. Mind if I walk with you?” She asked. _

_ Still holding her ear buds in place, Bernadetta looked back at her. “R-really…? Y-yeah, okay.” She responded, trying her best to keep her composure. Grinning in delight, the brunette was more than eager to walk alongside her classmate. _

_ Their walk back to the dorms was mostly silent, and Bernadetta spent it just relishing in her friends presence for the time. As for Dorothea, seeing her friend enjoy herself made her happy. _

_ “Say Bern, have you considered getting a haircut?” Dorothea asked her. _

_ Grasping a few locks, Bernie sighed in despair. “It’s that bad, isn’t it.” She wallowed. _

_ “Oh come on, it’s not so bad. There’s still plenty you can do with it.” The brunette told her. _

_ “You really think so?” Bernadetta responded. _

_ There was a gentle breeze, and Berandetta could feel a pair of fingers gently laced in her hair. “Okay, maybe a light trim, but you could style this into something amazing.” She said, looking at her own locks. “I’m almost jealous of you, Bernie.” _

_ Looking back at her friend, she spoke up. “But your hair’s really nice too, though.” _

_ Smiling, Dorothea placed an arm around Bernadetta. “Such a charmer, maybe I’m the one who should have a crush on you.” _

_ Those words stopped her in her tracks, as Bernadetta felt her face heat up under the afternoon sun. Dorothea only giggled happily. “I guess I’ll have to leave it be for now, so I’ll see you after work, kay Bernie.” _

_ Waving her hand idly where she stood, Bernadetta’s mind raced. She needed a haircut, for starters. But she was certain Dorothea made up an excuse to walk with her. _

_ The main question on her mind is if it was flirting or not, and she may never know unless she asks. _

Sitting in her seat, watching herself in the mirror as the stylist clipped away strands of hair. Much to her mental discomfort, Bernadetta has always been good sitting still. Being groomed was something she had come to enjoy, as it was a time where the person she was with was mostly nice. 

She was approached by Edelgard and Petra after class, asking if she’d like to go with them to the mall quickly for last minute clothes shopping. Everyone was going out tonight, and Bernadetta knew if she agreed then she was in it for the long run.

Her only concern was that one of the Black Eagle girls was missing.

Dorothea seemed to hurry out of class before anyone could say a word to her. When asked, Edelgard only smirked and calmly reassured her that Dorothea would be out with everyone tonight.

Everything about the brunette had been on her mind lately. From the day she had confessed her feelings for her, there was an almost unsure aura between them. How was Bernie supposed to know if it was ever okay to make any advances, or if she was flirting or being nice. While for the most part there was mostly a huge relief, as if she had much less to hide about herself. Though, nothing could prepare her for not receiving any true answer.

_ “Such a charmer,”  _ Her voice rang in her head.  _ “Maybe I’m the one who should have a crush on you.”  _ The sound of those words echoed in her head as Bernadetta stared straight ahead into the mirror, losing focus of her surroundings.

“Please sit still.” The hairdresser told her.

“Gah!” I’m so sorry.” Bernie apoligzed.

“No no, it’s all right.” 

Regaining her composure again, Bernadetta closed her eyes, trying not to lose herself too much in thoughts. Even after a confession like that, she was certain Dorothea wouldn’t spend too much time thinking of someone like her. For all Bernie knew, she was just being extra nice in an almost flirtatious way.

Even if it wasn’t flirting, how would that stop her from enjoying the feeling of being with her.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Peeking around, Dorothea made her way through the faculty dormitory. While students were discouraged from coming here unless having a school-related topic to discuss, Dorothea had gotten better at sneaking past Catherine, though Shamir still gave her some trouble. Today, the two weren’t to be found, who would have turned her away at sight.

Finding the right room, she gave a rhythmic knock and looked around. The door opened and Manuela ushered her in quickly. “Hey sweetie, glad you could make it.” she told her, ushering her over to the bathroom, full makeup kit on display.

“Thanks for doing this for me.” Dorothea told her, grabbing a wipe and wiping away the day’s make up. She had applied a generous amount for the day, planning this in secret with her mentor. “I know this is last minute.”

“Nonsense.” Manuela teased. “So many students I have are all riled up about tonight.” She reexamined the kit once more. “I had a feeling you of all people were excited, but I didn’t think you’d want me to do your look tonight.” 

“Yeah, that’s the thing.” She looked at her makeup wipe and tossed it in the trash, grabbing another and working on the other side of her face. “I kinda… had someone confess to me a while back.”

Clasping her hands together in excitement, Manuela gave a happy giggle. “Oh, I should have known.” She pulled over a char. “Okay, sit.” 

Sitting down, Dorothea flipped her hair over the chair. “I suppose you want me to tell you all about it.” She spoke, facing ahead in the mirror.

“Go on ahead, I’m curious. Someone in your class?” The older woman asked as she plugged in a curling iron.

“You’re right. You know Bernadetta, right?” Dorothea asked, smiling.

“Bernie? Yes, of course I do.” Manuela walked over to the counter. “Oh my gosh, that’s so sweet of her.”

“Yeah, I kinda didn’t give her an answer then.” The girl explained. “So tell me, what look should I go with tonight?”

Preparing the brush, Manuela pointed it at her. “I know just the look.” She told her, leaning towards Dorothea’s face. “I know what you need, you don’t want to scare her away. I’ve seen what shy people are like.” 

Dorothea’s eyes casted downard briefly before she closed them again. “It’s not her I’m too worried about.”

Pressing a warm hand on her cheek, Manuela reassured her. “She’s a very lucky girl.”

Comforted by her words, Dorothea presented her face as the teacher got to work. Keeping talking to a minimum, all of her thoughts were spent on Bernadetta, the brunette could get her out of her mind lately. Ever since the confession, she reevaluated every way she felt about her initially.

So shy and timid when she first arrived, Dorothea had done all she could to make Bernie feel welcome at Garreg Mach. Just by looking at her, the girl knew that she was in need of a friend and Dorothea would be more than happy to be one for her. Much to her surprise, Bernie was looking for a way to come out of her shell. While she was expecting a miracle, she was delighted to see her newfound friend make her way out to events like her birthday and the Thanksgiving party.

Though there were plenty of times things were strained between them. Dorothea could sense something was off on Valentines day and finding out why made her heart ache a little. ‘Poor girl,’ She thought, ‘all she wanted was to confess her feelings and I shafted her. She was even nice enough to help Ingrid out of the situation she was in.’

Even now, thinking back on the argument the two had, it almost brought tears to her eyes when she remembered Bernie locking herself away in her room. There was something about her home life that she wouldn’t tell Dorothea and it only made her even more worried in approaching her. How could she hope to get closer to her when the possibility of hurting her was real and closer than expected.

“The look on your face,” Manuela commented. “You’re really serious about this girl, aren’t you?”

Blushing a little, Dorothea threw her head back and presented her hair. “I like her, alright.” She said, pseudo-pouting about it for her own amusement.

“Then I’ll make sure you look your best for tonight.” The older woman told her, grabbing a small mirror and showing her. “How are we looking so far?”

* * *

  
  


Bernadetta looked at the mirror, handling her new hair style with care as she examined it alongside Petra and Edelgard. Smiling happily, she waved her head side to side to watch her bangs flow gently before gently falling over her shoulders. “Wow…” She commented, grabbing a pair of locks and playing with them for a moment. “I never thought I’d enjoy my hair this much.”

“It looks great, Bernadetta.” Edelgard commented.

“Very wonderful.” Petra followed up.

Sitting in her room with two friends, Bernadetta was starting to get antsy from all the time she spent in a chair today. Her idea of hiding away from everyone when they went out was replaced with a desire to breathe outside among her peers. Maybe it was instinctual to leave places she’s been forced to sit still for a long time.

“You don’t really wear makeup, do you?” Edelgard asked her.

“Oh, allow me.” Petra asked her.

At this point Bernadetta was unable to hide her contempt. Letting out an annoyed whimper, she pleaded with Petra. “Not a whole lot.”

“You are not wanting entire new face?” Her friend asked.

“I don’t feel like sitting down for much longer.” Bernadetta admitted, pressing her chin against her knees. “Could you do something that’s quick?” She requested.

“Very quickly, promising.” Petra expressed a desire to give Bernie a makeover that was enough for her to resist the urge to turn her offer down. 

By now, Bernadetta just accepted she’d be sitting in a chair all day, someone looming over her. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy her friend's presence, but the girl needed some time to herself if she were to go outside with others.

From her recollection, Bernadetta couldn’t remember the last time she wore makeup. Maybe she tried it once in a while, but she never did anything that made her want to improve her look before. By the time she reached her boiling point and was ready to ask when it’d be over, they were already done. At first she wasn’t sure if they had done anything to her, but after staring into the mirror for so long, it looked as though there was nothing on her face she desired to change.

“I…” Her voice dripped with uncertainty at first. “I really like it.” She told them.

“Your face makes for wonderful canvas.” Petra told her, looking in the mirror with her. “Very meek, surely to bring out the protection from others.”

Blushing in embarrassment and confusion, Bernadetta looked to Edelgard. “I think it looks great, Bernie.” She told her. “Want us to style your hair next?”

“No,” Benradetta butted, almost worried her assertiveness would seem off-putting. “I’m not too big on makeovers… but thanks anyways.”

Giving her a light pat on the shoulder, Edelgard understood. “That’s fine, I think I’ve been needing to get ready myself.”

“Me, the same.” Petra followed.

“Alright… see you guys in a bit.” Bernadetta waved them goodbye, and with the click of her door closing did she throw herself onto her mattress. Grabbing her phone, she couldn’t help but take a few pictures of herself. 

‘I never thought I could be this pretty.’ She thought to herself.

Her heart beat in excitement at the thought of what Dorothea might say when she sees her. Would she like her new look?  _ ‘She’s not mean enough to call us ugly, Bernie.’ _

‘Yeah, I know. Still, let’s keep our expectations realistic.’ She thought to herself. ‘How do you think she’ll look?’

_ ‘Beautiful, as always.’ _ Was her internal response.

Smiling to herself as she put her earbuds in, Bernie rested her head on a pillow as her eyelids drifted close for only a moment. It was all she needed, something she’d chide herself later for reveling in.

All she allowed herself was a quick rest before her eyes shot open and her head sprang from the pillow. Her head turned quickly as she examined her surroundings before making the realization she had fallen asleep. Groaning as she stretched her limbs, Bernadetta reached over to grab her phone and check the time

Only an hour had passed, but her phone was filled with notifications, most of which from group chats. Nothing in her personal inbox, so when Bernadetta scrolled through group messages, she could feel an anxious excitement build in here at the realization that everyone was starting to gather, with one text in particularly standing out.

_ Dorothea: I’ll be there around 6 _

_ Sent @ 5:44 pm _

Checking the time to read 6:04 pm, her heart raced at the possibility of Dorothea already being here. “Calm down, Bernie.” She told herself, standing up off her bed. The sound of muffled voices met her ears as she turned towards the window.

“They’re already here, brace yourself Bernie.”

Stepping out of her room, Bernadetta made her way down the stairs very quietly. The idea of running into anyone she knew made her feel on edge. Reaching the common area, it seemed there was no one around in the dorms, their voices sounding from beyond the front door.

Sitting at the kitchen table with her back to the entrance, Bernadetta held a bottle of water as she tried to calm herself down. All was standard protocol to her, hopefully her nerves would calm soon in time for Dorothea to arrive.

Much to her dismay, the door opened and the sound of laughter and a conversation she couldn’t make it was heard. Staring straight, Bernadetta dare not turn back in the event she’d make eye contact with someone accidentally, especially Dorothea. When the door closed she knew someone was in there with her. She turned, and for the first time in her life, was relieved to see Sylvain.

“What’s good, Bernie.” He asked, passing her to reach the fridge to grab a water bottle. Admittedly, Bernadetta thought he was looking better than he normally would for something like this. Knowing the compliment would go to his head, she opted to keep it to herself.

“You heading out tonight? Fair’s in town, ya know.” He asked, washing his hands at the sink.

“I know.” Bernie asserted. “I mean…yeah. I’m going tonight.” 

“Awesome.” He told her. “I’m heading back out, we’re probably leaving soon.”

Just the thought of her going out there was enough to make Bernadetta antsy in her seat. Gripping her fists as she pressed her knees together, the girl tried to calm herself. “C-can’t wait…” She muttered to him. Sylvain seemed to miss her words, as he was turning to leave.

“Now or never, good luck out there Bernie.”

Hoping out of her seat, she followed behind him. Opening the door, Sylvain stepped aside as Bernadetta walked outside. The first people she saw was the trio of leaders, all laughing at an old story. Then she saw Sylvain rejoin Ingrid and Felix, with Marianne and Hilda standing nearby. 

“Hey Bernie,” Caspar greeted, breaking his conversation with Lindhardt.

“Oh, hi Caspar.” She called out to him, making her way over to him. A friendly face that she could rely on for emotional support, he and the other men of the Black Eagles house were in a group of their own. Maybe in the events Dorothea didn’t want to hang out with her tonight, Bernadetta could just stick to the guy group.

She was quick in greeting Lindhardt and Ferdinand, but didn’t have much to say afterwards. From then on, she settled in her own silence for the time being, the voices of her friends all mixing into an incoherent yet pleasant sound to her.

That was when her voice was heard.

It was quick, maybe a few words that Bernadetta couldn’t make out at first, but there was no mistaking. Looking over, the curled, style bob of brunette under the iconic black hat swung as Dorothea turned towards her. Staring in awe, Bernadetta was amazed at the sight of her. Not the girl she crushed one from afar through her social media posts, more than a classmate she saw from time to time, a friend that she felt so much more for.

Their eyes met, and Dorothea revered the gaze quickly to acknowledge Edelgard briefly. Once their interactions paused, she made her way over to Bernie excitedly. “Hey, I love the new look!” She told her. “I heard from Edie that she and Petra took you out to get a styling.”

Having been blushing since looking at her, Bernadetta struggled to keep her feet planted on the ground properly. “Oh, th-thanks Dorothea.” She tried her best to project her voice. “I kinda went with your advice, and tried something new.” The girl explained.

“Well I think it turned out really great.” Dorothea responded. “You’ll have to let me try and style it sometimes.”

Gripping her fists, Bernadetta leaned out to Dorothea. “You’d do that!?” She exclaimed, her cheeks flushed. 

Rather than give a direct answer, Dorothea turned away, hiding the grin she wore. Pondering how she’d approach this, the girl opted for a more frontal approach. Leaning towards Bernie, she gently placed her hands on her wrists. “I haven’t eaten all day.” She told her.

Bernadetta stood there, frozen in place by Dorothea once more. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to take her hands or just stay still, but her words only confused her. “Oh… did you want to eat something before we go?”

“I was thinking of stopping to eat somewhere on the way to the Fair.” The brunette explained. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna make me go alone?” She asked, her voice forcing an innocent tone.

_ “There’s no way she’s flirting, Bernie,” _

‘What do you mean, what is it she’s doing then?’ The girl counter argued with herself. 

“Uh, hello?” Dorothea asked, snapping Bernie back to reality.

“Yeah.” Bernadetta stated, almost unaware of what she said.

She wouldn’t admit it but Dorothea was confused by Bernadetta’s actions, even for someone who confessed to her. Looking around, it seemed no one else was paying them any mind. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” 

Taking her by the hand, the two were off quickly off campus and walking through town. The sun was just starting to set, and the sky's orange hue burned brightly as the girls navigated the streets. Hand in hand, the late-spring breeze gently swayed Bernadetta’s hair as she walked alongside Dorothea.

“It’s been a busy day,” Dorothea chatted. “Me and Manuela were hanging out. You know, girl stuff.” She explained. “But I am excited, the fair was really fun last year. You’ll love it, trust me.”

Walking with her, Bernadetta was almost put off with how much Dorothea was expressing her excitement of being with her. “So, are we going to it together?”

“We can!” Dorothea’s face lit up, as she grabbed both of Bernie’s hands. “I’d love to go with you tonight.”

Her whole face turned red as she continued walking, Dorothea turning to lead them to a restaurant. “Come on, Bernie.” She cheered, squeezing her hand. “I know a good place up here.”

From hand holding, to excitedly leading her into a restaurant, Bernadetta wasn’t sure how to react. Does she get excited that it feels like she’s on a date, or scared at the possibility of what could happen when they get closer. Being ushered into the building and met with a chilling air conditioner, the girl did her best to not visibly shiver as she stood near Dorothea.

Her efforts were in vain, and Dorothea happened to take notice. “Are you all good?” She checked.

“Oh yeah.” Bernadetta told her. “Just… I’ve never really done this before.”

Her words seemed to only confuse Dorothea, and Bernie could feel the panic rising inside her at the idea of saying something wrong. “You’ve never been to a restaurant before?”

“No, no!” Bernadetta tried to explain herself. “I just mean it’s been awhile since I’ve been out to one, that’s all.”

What she really meant was dating, but as of now she wasn’t so sure as to whether this was actually a date or not. For her, it could have been a test of courage for her to even suggest such a thing, but another part of her knew it’d be smart to play it safe for now.

Her companion held up two fingers to the serve. “Just two of us.” The brunette told the server. Bernadetta was almost too slow to keep up with Dorothea, and managed to take hold of her wrist before she was lost in the crowd.

Taking their seat near the window, the two sat across from each other. Bernadetta opened a menu, but was mostly using it to hide her face. ‘Are we dating? She wondered to herself. ‘We couldn’t be, she never did say she liked us back.’

“And any drinks for you?” The waitress asked.

As if on instinct, she set her menu down and quickly told her “Doctor pepper, no ice.” She told the waitress. Taken aback with herself on her assertiveness, Bernie looked back at her.

Smiling, the redheaded waitress wrote her order down. “Coming right up.” She told her.

Looking back to Dorothea, she was met with a positive smile. “I’m glad to see you out and about, Bern.” She told her. “Not that I think any less of you for being in your room.”

How was she supposed to have the confidence to even try to make Dorothea consider dating her when everything she says turns Bernadetta into a puddle. Resting her arms on the table, Bernadetta hid her face in them. “I just… been studying…” She told her, a lie she’d see through, no doubt.

All Dorothea did in return was giggle playfully. “Okay, sure.” She told her. “But still, it’s always nice to see you.”

It was such a casual thing to say to someone, Bernadetta thought. A casual compliment to someone that you enjoyed their presence. But there was something there that maybe with the right words, Bernie could make into something more.

“If you ever want to see me, you could always just come to my room.” She told her.

As soon as it left her mouth, Bernadetta was certain she had said the worst possible thing in that given moment. Looking back at her, Dorothea was blank for a brief second before snorting with laughter.

“All you had to do was ask,” She said, looking towards the ground.

‘There’s no way that actually worked.’ Bernadetta told her. ‘Face it, she’s laughing at us for how bad we are at this.’

Raising her head and looking at her, Dorothea smiled. “You’re a lot more fun to be around then you give yourself credit for, Bernie.”

“Really?” She was caught off guard with the response. “Wait, hold on.” Bernadetta made sure she had her attention before speaking. “Why?”

Leaning forward, Dorothea looked back at her friend. “You’re someone I see strive to be better at things. You have a great ability to solve problems. It’s nice to talk to someone with your insight on things.”

Bernadetta wasn’t sure what was more of a revelation, that there was a truly likeable person inside of her, or that Dorothea liked her more than she did. Even after all this time, it still seems like there’s something she’s disconnected on with others. But Dorothea saw it in her, maybe there was a way to find that part of herself.

“Hey… Dorothea.” Her voice called out, it took all of her might just to make the words audible enough for her to hear. Their eyes met, her knees trembled, yet she knew she couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“Is this…”

“Here are your guy’s drinks.” Anna interrupted, and Bernadetta could feel herself sink back into her seat. She was certain Dorothea didn’t hear her, and chances are asking again would just feel awkward.

“You all ready to order?” Their waitress asked.

“How about we split a pizza, Bernie?” Dorothea suggested, with her companion nodding in agreement. “Can we get one half mushroom and peppers, what do you want on your half?” She asked.

“Oh, pepperoni’s fine.” She told them.

With their order written, she saluted to them. “Alright, coming right up.” 

Tearing the wrapper away from her straw, Dorothea stuck her straw in her drink and proceeded to gulp down a large portion. Only after a long moment did she raise her head and let out a loud “ah” in satisfaction. “So Bernie, what was it you wanted to ask?”

She was certain that Dorothea didn’t hear her, so Bernadetta wasn’t really prepared to ask the same question again. “I was just wondering, I mean it’s probably a weird thing to ask, it’s just,” She took in a deep breath. “Is this a date?”

When she first asked, it almost seemed as if Dorothea was taken aback. Bernadetta was on the verge of full-blown panic and was ready to backtrack when Dorothea started giggling. Not teasingly like usually, and when the sight of her blushing met her eyes, the suspension of belief left her.

“I mean, I’d be disappointed if you thought otherwise.”

Bernie had no clue how she could possibly handle herself any further, as she hid her face in her hands, shaking her head. “You… you really mean that?” She asked.

No words spoken, instead, Dorothea reached out and took Bernie’s hand in hers. Suppressing the urge to recoil in fright, Bernadetta only looked back at her, lost for words.

By the time they left, the sky was gaining it’s blue and pink hue, signalling that night was slowly approaching. Normally it was the sign of Bernadetta being able to rest once everyone went back to sleep. Circumstances for her had drastically changed inside the restaurant. A date, an actual date with Dorothea, that’s what was happening now.

All throughout the meal, the two quietly conversed about school and those around them. They would get so engrossed in their talk that Bernadetta would actually forget there’s supposed to be a romantic aspect to it all. That’s when Dorothea would do something like wink at her, reach over and wipe her face with a napkin. 

If Bernadetta was a stammering, blushing mess everytime Dorothea did something remotely flirty with her, she wouldn’t be able to make it through a relationship. Would this kind of thing get old for her, would they even be dating after this. All sorts of questions raced through her mind as she sat and ate.

“Just be glad she didn’t bring up our parents.” She told herself.

The brunette had been leading her into town towards the fair, crossing over a bridge over a river when she stopped and turned on a heel to face her. It wasn’t nearly as alarming as Bernadetta thought it was, but it did leave her perplexed momentarily. 

“So, what are your plans after graduating?” She pressed. The question itself didn’t really bother Bernie, as she learned how to get good at not giving an answer.

“I don’t really know,” Bernie admitted. “Didn’t really have a plan when I came here.” She told her. “I’ll just see where I am by then.” Hoping her vague answer would be enough to satisfy Dorothea, she turned the question on her. “What about you, what are you gonna do after school?”

There was an answer so fast, Bernadetta realized her mistake in asking someone as amazing as Dorothea about their future. “I’m trying to be a singer. I’ve been in theater ever since I was young, and I’ve been wanting to make it my living for all my life.” She professed. 

Even with the self doubt eating away at her, Bernadetta had little doubt in her response. “You can do it.” She encouraged. “You’re amazing at singing, Dorothea.”

Overcome with flattery, Dorothea reached out and took Bernadetta by the hand. Raising it up to her lips, she planted a kiss on the back of it, before raising her arm and twirling Bernie around until she was hugging her tightly from behind.

“You’re the best, Bernie.” Dorothea told her.

Bernadetta looked on towards the sky, her cheeks blushing a bright pink. It felt so selfish to want something like this so badly. Feeling her press into her, the way her arms held her gently. There was almost the desire to start crying.

The one thing she was most grateful for was the fact that she didn’t ruin this moment for herself. This feeling, being cradled in Dorothea’s arms, it was something new to her, something she was certain wasn’t real.

She was at least good enough at hiding the tears in her eyes.

* * *

  
  


By the time they had arrived, the sun had set, and the fair was in full swing. They had taken their time getting here, and hadn’t been in contact with any of their classmates. For all they know, it could just be them who’d be there.

All the twinkling lights, people walking around, being happy with each other, it was all so alluring to Bernadetta. Most of the time she was at places like this, people were too caught up in each other to even notice her. She could roam the fairgrounds without the fear or burden of social interaction when she was younger.

That had all changed as she squeezed Dorothea’s hand, venturing into the crowded space. The more they explored, Bernadetta felt a side of a place like this that she had never experienced before. The people around her felt like real human beings instead of something frightening, their emotions not something to be put off by. They were still so daunting for her to talk to, but being with Dorothea already revealed a new side of Bernie that left the girl fascinated with herself.

“Oh look,” Dorothea pointed out after a few minutes of walking. Looking up, Bernadetta saw Ingrid and Sylvain approaching them. There was a part of her who wanted to run off, let her date talk to her friends, but the brunette anticipated this, and put an arm around Bernie’s shoulders to keep her in place.

“Hey guys,” Ingrid greeted, presenting a large stuffed pegasus in her arms. “Sylvain felt insecure about winning this so he let me have it.” She told them.

Snorting a little, Sylvain rebutted. “No,” He explained. “You told me there was no way I could win at the ball toss ring and look who’s wrong.”

Ingrids response was simply to bop Sylvain on the head with the stuffed animal. Internally, Bernadetta dreaded the idea of having to win Dorothea a stuffed animal, knowing her skills were mediocre at best.

“Glad you guys are having fun,” Dorothea told them, looking back at her friend. “Me and Bernie here went to get a bite to eat.”

Even with her face pressed into Dorothea’s shoulder, Bernadetta managed to look up at the two. Dazzling lights, happy faces, it all seemed to embrace her presence. 

“Aw, you two have fun.” Ingrid told them, giving them both a warm smile. Bernadetta could feel her cheeks heat up at the way she actually encouraged them. Even her, who Dorothea pledged her love to, was happy to see them together.

Things couldn’t be going this well for her, could they?

“Come on,” Dorothea turned to her, and in that moment Bernie realized that she had never had her lips this close to someone else’s before. So tempting, to silence any doubts and take her right now. Resisting the urge, Bernadetta only smiled back at her.

“Wanna ride the ferris wheel?” The brunette asked.

“Yes…” Bernadetta told her.

Leading her by the hand, Dorothea found their way to the rides. A notably short line for the Ferris wheel, the two waited, watching the crowds together. “Glad we got here when we did.” The brunette spoke. “It’s always nice to come to this with someone special.”

Bernadetta wasn’t sure she was talking about her initially, but her mind found it logical to assume for once that she was referring to her. Seeing the slightest of doubt, Dorothea moved in and pulled Bernie into an embrace. “I’m glad to be here with you, Bernie.” She told her.

The lack of preparation to handle this kind of thing was weighing on Bernie. How was she supposed to know the signals for when it was okay to kiss someone, which is what she really wanted to do.

Before they had a chance to bask in the moment, a seat became available. Within moments they were being lifted up into the air, giving them a full view of the carnival. They could see their professor being dragged around by a young girl, Edelgard in tow with Dimitri and Claude.

“Professor sure has his hands full.” Dorothea commented, looking over at Bernie. The girl only nodded in agreement, something the brunette wasn’t anticipating.

“You’re not cold, are you?” She asked, and Bernie shook her head.

As they reached the peak, Bernadetta looked down. Far above the crowd, maybe this would be the best place for this kind of thing. Looking over at Dorothea, Bernie counted down in her head before finally speaking.

“Uhm… so....” Her start was terrible, having opened her mouth before she had anything to actually say. All the opportunities to speak passed by her and now she was stuck, yet Dorothea gave her the attention needed to keep going.

“Thanks for this… date…” She told her, unsure if what she was saying was even appropriate or would be appreciated. Was it wrong to still call this date.

Smiling, Dorothea glanced away briefly. “Of course, Bernie.” She spoke, looking into her friend's eyes. “All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

Words like that couldn’t even begin to phase Bernadetta. It was as if she needed to evaluate her entire feelings before presenting some sort of emotional reaction. Nothing in her life prepared her for being told this by someone you loved dearly, not when you never expected them to love you like you love them.

Meeting her eyes, Dorothea leaned forward, planting a kiss on her forehead. Bernadetta’s cheeks flushed not at the kiss, but at the realization that she had been holding her hand the entire time.

And she was never planning to let go.

So she held on for the remainder of their time riding the ferris wheel. She found a way to keep holding on as they got off. Then she’d continue to hold her hand for the entire time at the fair. Whenever she was spoken to, her responses were brief. Why would she speak anymore when she had what she wanted. Better to stay silent and hold on to what you have than to speak up and risk losing it.

Dorothea was certain Bernadetta wasn’t feeling the same she was.

She loved this girl, more than she thought she ever would. When they first met, it was the brunette who knew the moment she saw her that she’d need to be the one to take initiative. Ask her how she liked her coffee, make her feel comfortable, accepted, be the friend that the girl clearly needed.

With her friendship with Bernadetta came all sorts of tribulations. Dorothea never had forgiven herself for the party, becoming so drunk she passed out in bed with her friend. Even if she had a crush on her, she didn’t deserve to see her in that light. Afterwards, things were still the way they were. It was more clear to her that Bernie held some form of attraction to her, which Dorothea only played and teased. While she was laughing off the day's events with Ingrid on Valentine’s Day, her classmate was heartbroken, who had put her feelings out there and were quickly forgotten. 

Walking home with her, Dorothea kept quiet. She didn’t want to concern her date, not when the girl herself was fragile. All it took was one fight between them for the girl to break down and lock herself in her room for five days. Even though their house knew that it was no one's fault for this, the brunette knew better than to deny having no blame for the girl's behavior. At a time when Bernie needed someone to comfort her through stressful times, Dorothea had kept her at a distance, and ended leaving the girl hurting deeply.

How could she live with herself if Bernadetta was hurt like that again?

“Well… we’re here.” Bernadetta pointed out to her. So lost in her thoughts that Dorothea couldn’t even notice the time she was spending with her. Walking up to the front door, the brunette retracted her hand to open the door, letting them in. Walking inside, there was a notable lingering silence. It wasn’t the fact that they were the first ones home, rather that the duo had nothing to say.

But Bernadetta knew better, she was brave enough to confess and go on this outing, she would do her part to fill in the social gaps needed. “So… I’m really glad to go out with you tonight.” The girl confessed. Dorothea smiled in response. Even if she couldn’t be happy for herself, at least Bernie got to have some joy.

“I know finals are coming up,” Bernadetta started, trying to find the right words to say. “Maybe if… you want,” She stopped as if to make sure Dorothea was listening. “We can have a study session in my room sometime, just the two of us.” She told her. “Or in your room instead, if you prefer.” Bernie corrected, hoping to not offend her friend.

All the brunette did was look back at her in confusion and shock. She still wanted to spend time with her? Why couldn’t she see it was obvious that at some point Dorothea was going to inevitably cause her pain.

“You want to keep hanging out?” She asked her, and Bernie nodded her head excitedly. 

“Why?”

It was confusing at first, and for Bernie, confusion led to panic very easily. Keeping herself composed, she leaned forward and asked her to repeat herself. “Say again?”

“Bernie…” Dorothea started, and the lavender haired student felt her heart race. “You know I want what’s best for you.” She told her. “You’ve been one of my best friends here, I’ll always remember our time here.” 

Bernie could feel something well up in her throat. Was her feelings really being rejected like this, after everything? The way Dorothea spoke, it was as if the relationship was already over.

“What…” She tried not to have her voice crack. “What are you saying?”

She always hurt people, and Dorothea knew she had done it again. Tears welled up in her eyes. No one deserved to be treated like the way she had to treat people. “I’m sorry… you need to be with someone better.”

“Someone… better…?” That made no sense to Bernadetta. In all of her time here, she couldn’t help but fawn over how nice Dorothea had been to not her, but all of her classmates. Considering the other people in her life were her parents, her standards were so low a cashier could talk nicely to her and treat her better than they did.

But there was another part of this that Bernadetta knew. There wasn’t always the kind and beautiful Dorothea. She met the other version of Dorothea that comes out when she’s ten shots into the night. Holding her hair back as she puked into a toilet wasn’t the worst side she could have shown, but Bernie wasn’t raised a fool. She drank in resentment for getting dumped, there’s no telling for Dorothea would be if she drank for resentment of her.

Even if she would never admit it, Bernadetta had a hard time forgiving Dorothea for shafting her on Valentine’s Day. 

But she fought aside all of that, and she’ll continue to. “You are.” She said, her tears falling. “You’ve… you’ve been better to me than most people have in my life.”

“It won’t be good enough,” Dorothea told her. “You deserve so much more than that.”

“I never get anything I deserve.” Bernadetta countered. “My parents… I can’t go back to them. I won’t.” She looked up at the brunette. “It’s you I want to be with. I know you may not want to be with me, but it’s how I feel.”

“I...I can’t hurt you like I’ve hurt others.” The brunette argued.

“But you’re not a terrible person.” Bernie argued. “Please stop thinking you’ve failed others, you haven’t. We all love you, I love you.”

Dorothea gripped her arms as she began to sob. Bernadetta moved towards her. “Please Dorothea… I don’t want to be pushed away like this.”

“But…” She cried. “I don’t want you to be just another fling. You’re so much more to me than that, more than I ever deserve.”

She was wrong, Bernadetta had been raised to hate herself and she refused to let someone resign themselves to that mindset anymore. Leaning towards Dorothea, she pressed a gentle hand against her mouth.

“I would give you anything to make you never say that about yourself again.” She whispered.

Her hand pulled away, and Dorothea only had time to breath in before Bernadetta’s lips were against her. There was no experience on Bernie’s part, and the brunette was caught off guard that it accidentally seemed to feel like an authentic kiss. She pulled away, and as soon as Dorothea tried to speak, Bernadetta kissed her again.”

“Bernie-” She tried, gently pushing her away. When she realized what she did, Bernadetta turned away in shame.

“I’m sorry…” She trembled. What felt like being caught up in the moment was quickly realized as forcing someone into silence. “I… I didn’t mean to do it like that…” Bernie grabbed a fistful of her hair. “I couldn’t stand hearing you say that about yourself.”

With that, Bernadetta now could consider this relationship over. Having forced a kiss to stop Dorothea from talking had to have been her biggest snafu to date since coming here. Seems like in the end, she really would just return home to her parents.

But a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her waist, and Bernadetta was rotated till she was facing Dorothea, who had dried her eyes and looked back at her.

Pulling her into a tight embrace, the two held each in silence. The only thought was hoping no one would walk in and see them crying and kissing each other. But Dorothea pulled away and looked back at her classmate.

Laughing through her damp eyes, the brunette managed a smile. “Alright, I guess I was a little too unfair.” She told her. “If you really want to…”

Her heart was racing in her chest. “Y-you mean…”

“Well,” Dorothea looked the girl up and down. “I always thought you were cute.”

Bernadetta reached up and threw her arms around Dorothea’s neck. The brunette, in return, initiated a kiss between them, Bernadetta not sure how to handle it, trying to move her lips in unison.

Pulling away, Dorothea couldn’t help but laugh at how awkward that kiss felt. “I guess that’s something you need to practice in.”

“Come on,” Bernie pouted. “That was my first time kissing anyone.”

Realizing that the others would be back soon, the duo decided to wash their face and sneak away to their rooms. Bidding her a goodnight, Bernadetta gently closed the door, took her shoes off. Hopped onto her bed, squeezed her pillow into her face and kicked the mattress. Her first kiss, her first date, her first girlfriend.

Turning over and staring at the ceiling, Bernie caught her breath as a smile was etched into her face. Her eyes sparkled with a feeling of bliss. After almost an entire school year of crushing, Dorothea actually went out with her and kissed her. She wished the circumstances were better but she’d be damned if Bernie wasn’t gonna let her angel go like that.

Looking at her phone, she browsed the few pictures the two took together. There was a heavy temptation to post it all on social media. To show her friends the grand achievement she accomplished today. Yet, she decided against it, the first person who should enjoy this was her, and the second was Dorothea.

There was a gentle knock on the door, and she shot up to see who it was. Opening the door gently, Bernadetta was surprised to see Dorothea there, hair tied up, in a pair of shorts and a large t-shirt.

“Hey,” Bernie greeted.

“Hey yourself.” Dorothea told her. “Can’t sleep.”

“Nope.” Bernie agreed.

“Wanna stay up and watch Netflix together here? I figure as your girlfriend my first act is to fall asleep in your bed rather than pass out.” The brunette offered.

She could hardly contain her excitement. Taking Dorothea by the hand, she led her into the room.

Laying there, resting against each other's shoulders, Bernadetta had never felt at peace with someone before. In this moment, there was no worrying, only the safety of her girlfriends arms that gave her the comfort to drift into the most comforting sleep she had ever experienced.

* * *

  
  


The first thing Bernadetta remembered waking up the next morning wasn’t opening her eyes, it was feeling the warmth of Dorothea in bed with her, their arms wrapped tight around each other. Snuggling close to her, Bernadetta kept her eyes closed for as long she she could, wanting to hold on to the moment for as long as she could.

But curiosity got the better of her. Peeping an eye open, her sights were set on Dorothea’s open shirt. Just now had she realized that the girl wasn’t wearing a bra. Blushing a deep red, she tried her best to get a closer look without disturbing her girlfriend.

There was a faint giggle, and an arm cradled her head and pulled her closer to their chest. Bernadetta's face burned red as the other hand traced along her lower back. Dorothea snuggled up closely to her, happy to provide her girlfriend with all the nurture and care she needed.

They wondered if anyone would notice if they came down to breakfast together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed this chapters has three more update's. I plan for chapter 24 to be an epilogue so that'll be uploaded alongside the final chapter.
> 
> The final stretch of writing this is within reach.


	22. She's my Bernie Pie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably has a crap ton of typo's but I'm sure it's good

Usually when she was alone in her room, Bernadetta would sit at her computer for hours with her headphones on. Only twice during the school year did someone knock on her door, and enter when she didn’t give a response because she didn’t hear them. Both Petra and Caspar have scared the girl half to death by tapping her shoulder.

So it was very helpful when Bernie’s girlfriend knew the best way to contact her when she was in full Bernie mode was to text her.

_ Dorothea: “Hey Caspie and Linnie are planning to go to Mcdonalds. Want to come with?” _

Checking the clock, it was almost eleven. Was Mcdonalds even open still? Wait no, that’s beside the point. This was the first time Dorothea had asked her to go somewhere together, as a couple no less. 

There was this almost shared silence between the two. It had only been two weeks since their first date. From then on, the two had only stuck to subtle ways of dating. Walking to class with each other, spending extra free time in their rooms together. By now, Bernadetta was beginning to suspect that others may have caught on to their relationship by now. 

The anticipation of going somewhere with her girlfriend was enough to give Bernadetta the mix of excitement and anxiety she had grown accustomed to. Just a late night run to their local fast food restaurant with friends. She figured the inclusion of Caspar and Lindhardt negated the fact that it could be considered an actual “date” with her girlfriend, but any time with Dorothea would suffice.

_ Bernadetta: On my way down _

Throwing on her hoodie and a pair of leggings, Bernadetta peeked out of her door to check around. Edelgard seemed to particularly enjoy scolding housemates who would sneak out at night for a late night food run. Yet Bernie was willing to take a lecture from her house leader just for the chance to spend any moment with her girlfriend.

Girlfriend, just the thought made her heart race. They were really a thing, weren’t they. Her cheeks just turned pink thinking about it. No longer just a crush, Dorothea had given her a chance and Bernie was going to take her shot. 

Tiptoeing down the stairs, Bernadetta could overhear the voice of Caspar, conversing with Dorothea.

“Yeah, me and this guy are already thinking about becoming roommates.” The blue haired student explained. Dorothea sat at the table, listening to her friend talk about his future plans.

“Ah, you guys are lucky. I’m not really too sure what I’m doing out of college.” Dorothea told them, before noticing Bernie coming down the steps. “Hey there Bernie bear.” She greeted, pulling her into a tight hug.

“Heya, Bernie.” Caspar greeted. “Glad you could join us.”

She mustered a smile, a confident one. One that told him “please don’t think it’s weird that we’re dating” to her friends. “Please don’t judge her, this was her choice” looks if anyone noticed them holding hands.

All she needed to do was act like things were normal, if they even still were by now.

“Well, let’s hurry then.” Lindhardt spoke up, rising from the couch. “I know you’ll keep pestering me until I go with you.”

“Don’t lie, you want to spend time with me.” Caspar argued. His friend deadpanned in response.

“It’s always a pleasure to be with you all.” Lindhardt replied, sarcasm heavy in his voice.

“You guys are my favorite.” Dorothea told them. “Come on, before they close.”

Leaving the dorm this late was something new to Bernadetta. The group ducked down to make sure they avoided being spotted by any security. While for the most part staff wasn’t too strict on students out this late, it was a game of chance if they were caught if they’d be sent back or not. All they did was speak in whispers and walked quietly, and soon they were past the gates.

“Come on, if any creeps try and talk to us, I’ll handle it.” Caspar boasted, almost jokingly flexing.

Faulting behind on purpose, Dorothea took a hold of Bernadetta’s hand as they walked beside each other. “I bet you’d have a killer throw if any bad guys show up.”

That particular incident wasn’t something Bernie thought she could flatter herself with, much less something from Dorothea. Then again, it was  _ her throwing _ that got her and Ingrid out of that mess, so maybe her girlfriend was allowed to be grateful. But Bernadetta prided herself on being a polite, well mannered girl, even if that was something her parents emotionally bended her into, she still believed in it.

Though the idea of telling them she had a girlfriend wasn’t something she could see going down peacefully. If only she could find a way out of going back to them.

Her thoughts cut short when the beep of the cross signal sounded, Caspar pressing it a couple of times before Lindhardt stopped him. Looking around, Dorothea found a newspaper stand to lean against, letting the neon lights of the stores luminate her.

“So do you just try to look photogenic everywhere you go?” Caspar asked her, already knowing what her response would be.

Dorothea smiled, yet she held her pose for a few more seconds before she giggled. “The answer is yes, of course I do.”

Grinning, Caspar glanced to the side, only to find Bernadetta having already taken a few with her phone. “Was gonna say if only you had a photographer but glad to see that’s settled out.”

Sitting up, Dorothea returned to Bernadetta’s side. Swiping through them quickly, she faced Bernie and smiled at her. Not just the “thank you for taking these” smiles that she normally expected. Instead, Bernie got a “I’m happy I have someone like you with me” smile. Blushing a bright red, Bernadetta turned away and ended meeting Caspars stare.

“What?” She asked defensively as she pulled her hood over her head.

“Nothing, I didn’t say anything.” Caspar responded, looking away. He knew what he saw, though Bernadetta wanted to take the chance that he didn’t figure out they’re dating already.

They were signaled to cross, and Bernadetta figured maybe it didn’t need to be a secret any longer. Out of everyone, Caspar was the most supportive of her feelings, he said it would call for a celebration, and that in itself could lead to him inadvertently revealing it to everyone.

Yet he kept her secret quiet for so long, maybe she should trust him. 

Aside from them and the workers, there was only one other person inside Mcdonalds. Paying them no mind, the four stood at the check out, ordering their food. “You two mind finding us a spot?” Dorothea requested.

With Caspar and Lindhardt dismissed, Dorothea took Bernadetta by the hand and led her up to the cashier. “Hi there, can I get a quarter pounder meal. Large, please. Wanna share a shake?” She placed her order and asked Bernie all in the same breath, such social skills breathtaking in her eyes.

“Oh, sure.” She responded, almost too flustered to speak. “I’ll just have a double cheeseburger with a large fry then.”

With their order on the way, the two joined their friends at a booth. Caspar leaned back in his seat, sighing in relief. “Feels good to get out before finals.” He groaned.

“You’re telling me, I’ve been wanting to go out so much lately.” Dorothea cooed, glancing to her side. From under her soft, yet needy gaze, Bernadetta could feel her knees shake.

“What about you, Bernie?” Caspar asked. “How have you been handling studying?”

“I-I mean…” She started, unsure of what to say. “I’ve been going over some of the more difficult topics with the professor.” What Bernie told them was only half the truth. While she did have Byleth for her teacher, she kept the part of studying in Dorothea’s room, and the time the girl suggested she be Bernadetta’s “private tutor” before stopping after seeing how flustered it made the girl.

“Ah, nice.” Caspar complimented. “Me and Linnie here-”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“Lindhardt and I,” He continued. “We’ve been going over some stuff. You’re always free to join us.”

“Thanks but… I already have a study partner.” Bernadetta told them. 

Without even realizing it, her hand was in Dorothea’s and she squeezed it tightly. Knowing she had someone like her in Bernie’s life was enough to keep her going, at least. “I-in fact....” Bernadetta started, looking at Dorothea. Once their eyes met, the brunette knew what her girlfriend was doing, and silently rubbed her thumb across her hand.

“I kinda… have more than a study partner.” Bernadetta told them.

“Okay, what does that mean?” Caspar asked, casually sipping his soda.

Lifting her arm, Bernadetta revealed who’s hand she had been holding under the table.

“Oh… OH!” Caspar exclaimed. “Oh you did it.” He told her. “Yo you got it Bernie I know you had it in you.” He cheered. 

“Wait he knew you liked me?” Dorothea asked Bernie, who could feel a wash of embarrassment take over. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“Well, you were kinda dating someone else at the time…” Bernadetta tried to explain.

Considering how the girl must have felt, Dorothea learned forward and embraced her friend tightly. “I understand.” She told her. “Guess I had a feeling you’d tell others. So, Caspar was your wingman in wooing me?”

“I wasn’t wooing you!” Bernadetta tried to defend, but there was no point in hiding.

“She dreamt of you like,” Lindhardt started. “So many times. 

“Shut up, Lindhardt.” Bernadetta scolded, burying her face in her hands.

“You had her smitten, Dorothea.” Caspar recalled. “She was hellbent on making you her girlfriend.” He teased.

“I was not.”

“Ah, that’s so cute. If I knew I would have teased you more about it.” Dorothea told her, pulling her into a tight embrace.

Letting out a playful whimper, Bernadetta reluctantly accepted her girlfriend's hug. Seemed being teased was something she’d have to put up with when it came to dating someone as socially interactive as Dorothea. If Bernie were to slip up, their friends would be the first to know.

“Foods up,” Caspar commented, standing from his seat. Leaving the two with just Lindhardt, who paid them no mind to their affections, Dorothea kept on holding Bernadetta in place.

“I am still glad you got the courage to tell me how you felt,” Dorothea told her, arms wrapped tight around her. “I’m happy to have you in my life.”

Normally Bernadetta would never let herself get overwhelmed with emotions out in public, mostly. Squeezing her eyes shut, she threw her face in Bernadetta’s shoulder as her eyes watered. She composed herself almost as soon she started crying, and Bernie pulled away to see Caspar return with a tray of food.

“Alright Black Eagles,” He greeted as he took his seat. Raising his soda cup, he proposed “To your guy’s relationship.” Caspar toasted. “I’m happy for you guys, I always knew Bernadetta was girlfriend material, even if she didn’t.”

Even as her eyes stung, Bernadetta managed a smile on a face that was red long before he came back over. Dorothea wrapped an arm around her shoulders yet again. “To the future,” she toasted.

She knew how time worked, they all did. This was something they’d have for this moment before moving on in the world. To Bernadetta, she held Dorothea’s hand as if the girl would break away and drift out of her life. Thankfully, it felt as if her girlfriend felt the same way.

  
  
  


Just getting to campus was a challenge of seeing who could suppress whatever laughter another had caused long enough for everyone to be quiet, and then they could get home without getting in trouble.

“Caspar,” Dorothea giggled. “Please, just be quiet.”

“Okay!” He gritted through his teeth as he smiled. Grinning devilishly, Caspar pulled out his phone and quietly played a clip of a video, just long enough for Bernadetta to slap a hand over her mouth and suppress her laughter.

“Caspar!” Dorothea scolded.

“Sorry,” He sarcastically apologized. “I was too excited, I wanted to play music.”

Walking up to the front door, they were certain Edelgard would open the door and yell at them. Opening the front door, they were still expected that their house lead would be waiting to lecture them on sneaking out late. Closing the door behind them, they knew they were in the clear.

“Okay you’re lucky we didn’t get caught.” Dorothea told him.

“Aren’t I always,” Caspar commented, turning towards the stairs. “I’m gonna take this guy up to his room,” He told them, motioning to Lindhardt on his back, sound asleep. “You guys have a good night.”

“You too,” Dorothea told him.

“Good night.” Bernie called out to him. Leaving just the two of them alone, Bernadetta was already planning on head back to her room when Dorothea stopped her.

“Hey…” She started, looking away briefly. “Wanna, hang out down here and watch some Netflix?”

Feeling her heart rate pick up, Bernadetta nodded. “Yes, I would love a movie night.”

Flicking the light switch off, the common room was lit by only the tv as the two cuddled on the couch. When Bernadetta sat close, Dorothea would pull her closer. Pressed against her body so tightly, she could care less about what they were watching. Her face so close to her chest, an arm around her waist, Bernie was certain she was breaking some sort of boundary with Dorothea. Looking up at her, the girl watched the screen before noticing her stare.

Almost backing away, instead Bernadetta closed her eyes and leaned forward, her lips slightly parted. Her eyelids peeked open to see Dorothea lean in and pull her into a kiss. Returning it, Bernie closed her eyes once more and allowed herself to get lost in the feeling. She could kiss Dorothea all day if she let her.

That was until she felt something force itself past her lips.

Pulling away, her eyes widened as she blushed a deep red. 

“I’m sorry…” Dorothea told her, blushing. “I got caught up and-”

“I-it’s fine… I wasn’t expecting it… that’s all.” Bernie explained. So much for throwing caution to the wind, nothing could have prepared her fragile and timid soul for Dorothea to slip tongue on her this early on in the relationship.

“Can we… keep practicing making out?” Bernadetta asked. “It’s fine if you want to stop…”

Instead Dorothea pressed her body against her, and cradled her head against her chest. Bernie’s face was almost pressed against Dorothea’s chest as the brunette leaned on gently onto the couch.

The two’s faces were glowing pink as they looked into each other’s eyes. Giving her a comforting smile, Dorothea gently caressed Bernadetta’s cheek. “Just tap me if you want me to stop, okay?”

“Tap where?” Bernadetta asked, confused.

Letting out an amused giggle, Dorothea gently laid on top of Bernadetta, cradling her face as she pulled her into a deep kiss. Moments in Bernie realized she had no clue what she was supposed to be doing. She was dating someone who’s expertise far outweighed hers in what was supposed to happen on her part. All these ideas, fantasies, more like, of what Dorothea would do to her if they ever started dating and hardly any thought of what Bernie should do to her instead.

Her hand was pressed against the couch cushion all this time. Moving it over, Bernie was able to find Dorothea’s lower back. Placing it there, she reached and felt around before her hand made it way under the fabric of her shirt. Normally this would be the time to retract, but Bernadetta wanted more. All the times of trying not to stare too much at Dorothea’s figure, only watching it from afar and here she was in her arms.

Her arm reached up and felt something, and realized she may have gone too far. Pulling it away, her fingers were caught on a bra strap that lightly snapped back to Dorothea’s skin.

“Oh.” She cooed, teasing Bernie. 

“I-I didn’t mean. I don’t even want to do that kind of thing tonight.” Bernadetta defended herself, raising her hands.

“Relax, sweetie.” Dorothea told her, taking a hold of her hands. “It’s not the end of the world if my bra comes undone while we’re making out.”

Bernadetta was happy to avoid any incident, and it felt wrong to end their session on this kind of note. “H-hey… do you think…” She was almost certain Dorothea would think she was weird for asking this. “Maybe we could practice tongue?”

Her first thought was hoping Dorothea knew what she meant, otherwise it was gonna take a whole lot of explaining to do. Leaning in, the brunette released one of Bernadetta’s hands. “You tap me if you want me to stop.”

“Where though?” Bernie asked again.

“Don’t worry,” Dorothea told her, positioning into a more comfortable position before leaning in to whisper. “You can tap me anywhere.”

Bernie had hardly any time to process what she had gotten herself into when Dorothea pressed her lips against hers. It was a soft kiss, nice and gentle to ease Bernadetta. She could feel herself become less tense and her body sink into the couch cushions.

Dorothea’s lips parted hers, and her tongue caressed gently against hers. It wasn’t as sudden or rough like before. Just light enough for Bernadetta’s tongue to react as well. The feeling was all too stimulating, and when she tried to squeeze her thighs together, all they did was find Dorothea’s thigh in between her legs. 

“Ah!” Bernadetta pulled away, gasping out an audible moan. Looking around, she was certain someone would come down the stairs and catch them. “Can we stop now?”

“Of course,” Dorothea said, sitting up. The two distanced themselves from each other to regather their composure. Bernadetta was replaying the events in her head over and over. She couldn’t dwell over the climax of their makeout session for too long, under no circumstances did Bernie want to excuse herself for something like that.

The way her bare back felt on her hand, her chest pressing into hers, subtly poking her. The way she had her writhing in pleasure underneath her, how heavenly her lips had felt, and the excitement of their tongues brushing against each other. If her parents knew they’d surely condemn her from their household, yet that didn’t stop her from wanting to imagine what would have happened if she had grinded her hips just a little more during the whole thing.

“You okay?” Dorothea asked.

She was so lost in her thoughts that Bernadetta almost forgot that another person was right beside her. Looking over, Dorothea’s hair was slightly messed up, her clothes slightly tattered. A side of her that a while ago seemed all too nerve wracking to picture, now a welcomed sight in her eyes.

“Do you think anyone heard us?” Bernadetta asked, glancing around.

“No way, I know when someone’s coming during a makeout session.” Dorothea told her, grinning confidently.

White knuckling past the even the idea of chiding her in phrasing, Bernadetta smiled as she blushed a deep red. “I’ve never done anything like that with someone before.” She confessed excitedly. 

“And you liked it, right?” Dorothea asked, though sharing Bernadetta’s exhilaration. 

“Y-yeah, I-I mean it was really nice… it felt nice.” Bernie perked herself on her shins and pulled Dorothea into a hug. “Thank you…”

Returning the embrace, Dorothea held on to Bernie. She couldn’t admit it, but Dorothea never loved someone to this extant before. Where as everyone else was a mere way to fill her inevitable loneliness, Bernadetta gave her purpose. Deep down, she wanted to hold on to this feeling forever, wanting nothing more than Bernie’s happiness.

“Bernie…” She whispered quietly, the hush of the lowered TV volume almost as audible. “ Where are you gonna go after this school year?”

This question was inevitable, she knew. Bernadetta had been denying it for a while now. When this year was up, she’d have to leave Garreg Mach and return home for the summer. Back to her parents house, waiting to burden her with new expectations on her life. They’ll probably spend all summer drilling her on school work and social ethics. Just when she was starting to discover sides of herself that she enjoyed.

“I… back home, I guess.” She admitted. What was she supposed to do, Bernadetta wanted nothing more than to be with Dorothea forever, but she knew realistically that she couldn’t burden her with something like this.

“Didn’t you say your dad didn’t even know you went here?” She asked.

Hanging her head, she nodded solemnly. “I… I really liked it here.” Bernie started to sob. “I… I liked you, I liked all my friends in this house, I liked making friends in the other house.” She kept crying. “I really like my teachers, the school staff are nice. Yeah they fight a lot but they know how to be better people than my parents…”

Grabbing her hands, Dorothea pulled Bernadetta to her eye level. “Bernie,” She spoke, her voice in an earnest tone. “You don’t have to go back to that.”

Her gazed widened, but Bernie wasn’t all too convinced in her words. Both of her parents wouldn’t stand for her to run off with her college girlfriend, they wanted her under a tight lock. As amazing as she was, Dorothea couldn’t protect her from her parents forever.

“I… I don’t know…” She tried to tell her.

“Come with me, stay with me and my foster parents for a while. I’ll even ask Edelgard if she has room at her place if that’s what you want.” She told her. Dorothea was certain everything she was saying could be loaded, that she couldn’t promise any of this. But the girl in her arms deserved so much more, and she hugged her tighter. “Bernie, I know it’s sudden, and I understand if it’s all too overwhelming, but I don’t want you to go back to that.”

“But, what about my parents?” Bernadetta argued. “They’re not gonna like it at all? Telling them about you won’t make them happy, only more concerned with me.”

“I don’t care how they take it.” Dorothea told her. “When the time comes to tell them, you won’t be alone.” She took a hand and pressed it against her cheek. “I’ll be there right beside you, I promise.”

Bernadetta sobbed, crying more than what felt like she had in her whole life. For once, someone actually acknowledged how poor her life was under her parents roof. “Dorothea…” She sobbed.

“Hey, hey.” She patted her head, laying back against the couch. “It’s alright. I’m here.” She comforted her girlfriend. “Everything's gonna be okay.” Dorothea cooed softly, brushing Bernadetta’s hair.

The TV sat idle, as the two drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, safe in each other's comfort.

* * *

  
  


Bernadetta’s eyes stung as she opened them, the sun peaking through the front windows. Nestled between a couch pillow and Dorothea, her vision was too heavily blurred for her to notice anything around her. Burying her head into her girlfriends shirt, her ears were bombarded with a volley of different sounds as her surroundings became more apparent.

“Don’t burn my eggs, Ferdie.”

“I got you, Casp man.”

The sounds of sizzling on a pan, the scent of coffee, the unmistakable sound of Huberts heavy footsteps. Panic began to seep in when Bernadetta realized just how many people would probably have noticed her and Dorothea.

“I expected as much that some of you were out last night.” Edelgard stated, looking over the two. “Come on Dorothea, get up so Bernadetta can get back to her room.”

Bernadetta looked back at her house leader, and back at her girlfriend who stirred in her sleep. Her eyes fluttered open to the sight of Bernie’s face, not noticing the notable concern she had. “Good morning sweetie.” She spoke softly, still very tired. Before Bernadetta could begin to explain their situation, she pecked her on the lips with a quick kiss.

“Whoa what!?” Ferdinand called out, happening to notice it out of the corner of his eye. When he realized he had just drawn the whole room’s attention to them, he hid his face in shame.

Once she realized all eyes were on her did Dorothea feel more away. Processing the scenario, she reeled her head back in silent laughter before looking to Bernadetta.

“I’m sorry…” She laughed.

“It’s fine,” Bernadetta muttered, glancing out towards the rest of the house. “They were gonna find out sooner or later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woot woot, final chapter is next. ngl seeing this fic end after nearly a year of writing it got me feeling lots of things, relief will be one of them


	23. Bernadetta loves Dorothea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While there's a small chapter after this one, this is what I consider to be the conclusion to the story.

Her hands trembled so hard that the phone fell right out of her hands, and she yelped in shock when it hit the ground. Managing to pick it up with her knees shaking, Bernadetta put a hand on her chest as she breathed in and out. After surviving dating, her first remotely sexually driven experience with another person, and most recently, finals, her final trial loomed overhead, some she would have had to face sooner or later.

_ Mom: Good morning, your father and I have sent your train ticket online. We will be expecting you.” _

“Hey Bern, is everything okay in there?”

From the other side of the changing room door, Dorothea’s voice spoke out. In what was considered the student living houses last celebration, they would all go to the beach today. For the occasion, Bernie proposed the idea of the two getting up early to shop for a swimsuit at the mall together. The brunette happily accepted the proposition, saying it would make for a quick date before leaving campus.

“E-everything’s alright.” Bernadetta called out, trying to compose herself just long enough to finish trying out a two-piece. Something she never wore before and it’s like her parents are calling out from beyond to tell her to take it off.

“Okay,” Dorothea hesitated for a moment. “Need me to come in there?” She whispered quietly.

Oh how she would have loved her too. “No.” Bernie hissed, hoping no one overheard them. “I-I… I just need to try the bottoms and I’ll be finished.”

Suppressing a sigh, Dorothea leaned gently on the wall outside the changing room. Sometimes she wondered if Bernadetta thought so little of her to not know that something was off. Yet, she held her silence for the moment. “Can I atleast see how it looks?”

Under no circumstances was Bernadetta in the mood to be seen like this, the shorts she had on discarded and the swim bottom pulled over the knee high socks she decided to wear. “Later, I’ll surprise you at the beach, I promise.”

“Alright then,” Dorothea told her, grinning. “Just know, I picked myself out something nice too, so I’ll surprise you with something also.”

The excitement in her girlfriend's voice was enough for Bernadetta to pull herself together. 

‘We’ll tell her, we have to.’ 

“I… I think I’ll get this one.” Bernie said. “I’m gonna change back and I’ll meet you outside, okay?”

Ever since their time on the couch, Bernadetta had considered heavily on Dorothea’s offer. The girl had professed her desire for Bernie to practically run away with her. Instead of returning home to her parents, she’d spend the summer with Dorothea, at her foster parents house and possibly back on campus.

It should have been a no brainer, to leave with her girlfriend. But Bernadetta couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a catch. Surely staying with someone you only just started dating wasn’t going to be an easy thing. For all Bernie knew, there was a side of Dorothea she hadn’t seen yet that could change her entire view of her.

Yet she knew having to make herself seem presentable enough for a pair of old foster parents was a challenge, but Bernadetta knew with Dorothea by her side, she just might be able to face the trial.

Leaving the changing room and making her purchase, Bernadetta hurried out of the store. No sooner did she leave did Dorothea approach her. “Hey, Bern.”

“Hey uh…” Her knees trembled slightly. “Can we leave?”

“Yeah, is everything alright?” Dorothea was giving Bernie another chance to be honest, hoping she would take it.

“Uhm…” Bernadetta looked around anxiously. “My mom just texted me.”

She didn’t need to speak another word. Dorothea took her hand in hers gently and the two began walking out of the mall. “Don’t worry, we can talk to them somewhere safe.”

Bernadetta had taken necessary precautions in preparing for the inevitable phone call. They would do it together, in her room. Bernie would start and Dorothea would join in. While she’d like to account for the possibility of her father not even caring if she came home or not, she knew that wouldn’t be the case.

Her room, the place where she’d make her stand should be familiar territory. Bernadetta spent the trip back to their dorms mentally preparing herself. Thankfully, the majority of their housemates had already left for the beach, leaving the place to just them. Once Bernie arrived, she bolted to her room before Dorothea even had a chance to say anything.

Throwing her bag in the ground, she grabbed her phone and quickly typed back  _ “Not going”  _ before hurling the phone into the mattress. Dorothea knocked quickly, opening the door. “Hey, you can wait for me, okay?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Bernadetta repeated, pacing around her room.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” The brunette told her, putting a hand on her shoulder, settling Bernadetta’s movements.

“I just texted her back, she’s gonna be pissed.” Bernadetta’s voice shook.

“It’s going to be okay, I’m here.” Her girlfriend instructed. “Just breathe, alright. It’s okay.”

Clenching her fists briefly, Bernadetta let out a long sigh. She could handle this, for all she knew this could be an exaggerated reaction that she was known for. Catching her breath, Bernie took and held Dorothea’s hand. “Thanks for being here.”

“Of course, Bernie.”

Said grip turned into iron when Bernie heard her phone vibrating. Yet she looked at her phone, unmoving her gaze. She came too far to back down now, as she released her hold and walked over, picking her phone to read the caller id on the screen.

Sliding to answer, she held the phone up to her and spoke. 

“Hi, mom.”

There weren't any words spoken for a moment, before a voice broke through. “Hello?”

“Yeah, hello?”

“Oh, there you are.” Her mother commented on the other end. “Hello there, what are you doing?”

“I’m uh…” Bernie glanced over and looked at Dorothea and then her bag. “I was getting ready for a uhm… a beach trip.”

“Oh really now?” Her mother spoke. “Sounds fun,” She said, Bernie trying to pay no time for mom’s flat tone.

“I… I’m gonna put you on speaker now.” Bernie told her, placing the phone on her desk. “My-my friend Dorothea’s in the room with me.”

“Hi there.” Dorothea commented happily.

“Oh Bernie, you know I’m not a fan of people overhearing our conversations.” Her mother spoke over the speaker. “So what’s this about you not coming home?” She asked dryly.

“Well uhm…” Bernadetta hadn’t taken the time to find a proper way to tell them. “Me and Dorothea here-”

“Oh hold on,” Her mother spoke. From over the phone they heard her calling out to another voice. Bernadetta was almost ready to bolt into Dorothea’s arms for safety when she figured who it was that her mother was talking to.

“Alright, so why’s this that you’re not coming back?”

“Well…” Bernadetta was hesitant to answer. “I… my friends and I are gonna find a place to stay… together over the summer.”

“This place, these friends of yours,” His voice cut in, making her jump. It had been so long since Bernie had heard her father's voice. “These some kids you met?”

“They’re my classmates, dad.” She told him, wondering if he was at all interested in how she was doing.

“And what, you’re all just gonna find some place to crash at.” He asked.

Bernadetta knew she was losing ground already. They could see through her bluff. “W-well we’re planning-”

“Bernadetta that sounds ridiculous.” Her father started. 

“Yeah, you need to come home.” Her mom told her.

“You can’t just run off after a year of college with some other underdeveloped kids you met.” Her dad spoke. “God damn, you need to settle yourself a bit more, ground yourself in reality for once.”

Hanging her head, Bernie was already feeling back in her household. Anything she says or wants is usually put down without any thought put into her feelings. Dorothea had heard more than enough for her to say something. 

“Hello,” She spoke politely, trying to sound sincere. “Bernadetta’s actually really nice and smart.” The brunette told them. “She wants to live her life, ya know.”

“Hey, listen.” Bernie’s father stated. “You’re not to tell me how my daughter should live, okay. Ya know, y-you just think that because you’re young that you can do anything. Bernadetta isn’t capable of that kind of living.”

Dorothea looked back at her Bernadetta, whose father's words were wearing her down. The lavadar haired girl was starting to think her girlfriend wouldn’t be worth the trouble of dealing with her parents.

“Well I don’t think it’s fair of you to put her down like that.” Dorothea retorted. “Your daughter should be allowed to learn things and experience them for herself.”

“Listen here, don’t think I don’t know how to put a kid like you in their place.” Her father rebuked.

“You guys!” Bernadetta interrupted. It wasn’t until she realized that there was a dead silence hanging in the air did she realize that her voice managed to make every stop. A first for her, she resumed their conversation. “Sorry, sorry.” She muttered.

“Bernadetta, do you really trust this girl enough to stay with her over summer?” Her dad asked.

“How is she doing academically? What’s her background?” Her mom added.

Looking over, Bernie could figure that her parents were moving on to Dorothea, ready to grill her on her mannerisms and the kind of person she was. Sparing her from whatever words her parents would have of her, Bernadetta cut in.

“She’s great, really. All my friends are. Things are nice here.” They never once asked how she was doing academically, or if she made any progress socially, but maybe letting them in on how she was doing would easen their mood.

“And does she stay out of trouble?” Her mom questioned. “What sort of things do you all get up to?”

She knew how this worked, they were looking for something irresponsible, something to call her out and shame her with. If Bernie had told them half of the things she got up to during her time at Garreg Mach, her parents would demand she return home at this very moment.

“Oh well… sometimes we go to the mall. We like hanging out with all the other houses.” Bernadetta glanced back at Dorothea, smiling. “We celebrated a few holidays together, even the teachers are fun to hang out with.” She spoke sincerely.

So lost in the moment of recounting all her memories, she didn’t even realize her parents were hardly paying attention to what Bernadetta was saying. Instead all she could hear was the sound of them talking amongst themselves, their voices hardly quiet and disregarding the call they were in. Passing on the idea to call out, Bernie sat on the bed and waited, Dorothea joining her and wrapping her arms around her.

“There’s something you’re not telling us.” Her mom stated.

“We want your honesty, please.” Her dad spoke.

Gripping Dorothea’s arm, she looked up at her knowing very well what came next. “Well… you see…” Bernadetta started to speak.

“What is it?” Her father started to press.

“My friend, Dorothea and I. We’re… dating.”

There was silence, so brief it gave Bernadetta enough time for her heart to start racing, then her mind. She was awaiting for disapproval and even in that moment she thought the one place it’d come from was Dorothea.

Instead, the girl brushed her hair aside and planted a small kiss on her cheek. Dorothea wanted to make it clear that she wouldn’t be going anywhere, there she’d have Bernie by her side.

“Well… I can’t say I’m too surprised.” Her father admitted.

Did it work? Did Bernadetta finally do something right in her parents eyes? Was this lack of surprise her parents way of saying they always knew she was capable of having someone love them? And if so… was that really what it took to prove her worth to them?

Why should she care what they think at this point?

“I knew from the moment your mother sent you off to some school that this would happen.” Her father said. “Running off with some classmate you hardly know isn’t a way to live.”

“But dad,” Bernadetta countered. She knew her father was ready to slander her character. “I really… we really like each other.” The girl hopelessly explained. 

“Well then she should understand why you need to come home.” Her father answered.

“Actually,” Dorothea cut in, her tone sounding more than displeased with her Bernadetta’s parents had taken the news. “I don’t want Bernie to go anywhere near you people.”

“Well who gave you that call for our child?” The mother chimed in. “You don’t know here like we do.”

“Your daughter is afraid of being known by you two.” The brunette angrily retorted. “She’s told me the kind of things you put her through when she was younger.”

Bernadetta sat up and distanced herself from Dorothea, not wanting to be caught with her girlfriend's argument with her parents. “Of course, she’s always hung up on things we did long ago.”

“You had no right to treat her that way.” Dorothea scolded. “It’s not my choice for her to go back to you guys but if I had my ways I would ensure she never saw you people ever again.”

Bernadetta wasn’t sure if she should run or take the phone and throw it out the window before things could be made worse. There was no way she could ever face them in person now with everything Dorothea had sad. Looking around the room, she happened to notice the door slightly open. Walking over to close it, she tried not to yelp when a force held it in place.

The door opened, and they both entered. Bernadetta was ready to fall to her knees and apologize, beg for forgiveness and for them to leave her girlfriend out of it. Looking up at them, his gaze glanced to Dorothea, who angrily yelled into the phone. From his side did his companion assess the situation before walking over to Dorothea.

“And if you think a bunch of idiotic, no, that’s what they are and that’s what I’m calling them.” Bernadetta's dad argued over the phone as Dorothea sat, having lost all patience with talking to them.

Taking the phone from her, Edelgard turned the speaker off and held the phone to her ear. “Hello, this Edelgard Von Hresvelg, I’m the leader of the house your daughter is apart. I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with some of my dorm mates and I have to say I’m more than disappointed by what I’ve heard.”

As Bernadetta pondered how Edelgard and Hubert would handle this, Dorothea moved in with a comforting hug for the girl. Even without being able to make out what he was saying, Bernadetta could hear a mix of confusion in his voice as he spoke.

“Actually, one of them did survive as a matter of fact.” She stated. “I am very much his daughter and am still alive.”

Bernadetta was terrified at the idea of asking Edelgard what she was referring to. Even Hubert seemed distrubed to recall her words.

“You’re not going to be dealing with my father. He won’t make the time for people unworth his time.” She stated. From the other end could they hear yelling, angry yelling that Bernadetta recognized all too well. Squeezing Dorothea’s hand, she wanted as Edelgard stood, stone cold expression as she waited for him to finish.

Rather than let her handle it, Hubert took the phone. Speaking in a menacing voice, Hubert started. “Listen here, I will not stand by while you speak ill of Lady Edelgard, and certainly not the other members of the Black Eagles house. As far as I’m concerned, the girl you call a daughter has no relation to you. Unlike worthless cretins like you, she actually applies herself and is a far greater student here than you would ever hope to be. I will allow you to speak to her but just know that if you plan to bring her any other harm then I’ll be happy to pass word along to Mr. Eisner.”

Reaching the phone out back to Bernadetta, she reluctantly took it from his hands as she listened to what her father wanted to say to her. At the very least, she needed to know how well her parents handled those words.

“Bern-Bernadetta.” Her father said. “Listen, we don’t want to hurt you.” He pleaded. “You need to understand, we only wanted what was best of you.”

Was this really how her father was gonna be? All the talk of belittling her feelings and disregarding her emotional state only to cower from the words of her house leads. “Just listen to us, sweetie.” Her mom called out. “We’ll make things nice here for you.”

“You never can.” She spoke, almost without a thought of hesitation. “You… you just made things horrible for me there.” Bernadetta told them. “It was awful, and I’m not going back. I have friends who care more about me than you ever will!” She declared, hanging up the phone.

There wasn’t anything said for a while, until a few tears fell from Bernadetta’s eyes. She didn’t have to go back, she was going to stay with Dorothea. Hugging her close, Edelgard moved in and embraced the two as well.

“Bernadetta, if you would like, I could set aside a room for you at my house this summer.” Edelgard told her. “It’ll be no problem,” She assured her before the girl had a chance to interject. “You’ll have Hubert and I there.”

As the man nodded, Dorothea chimed in. “Can I come too, Edie!?” She pleaded.

Smiling at them Edelgard nodded. “Who would I be to deny you,” She said. “After all, it’s not like you two need more than one room.”

The two shared a mutual blush. Before any of them could get too caught up, Bernadetta spoke up. “Thank you, guys.” She muttered.

“Of course, Bernie.” Dorothea told her. “You don’t have to worry anymore.”

“Well, I don’t want to rush you guys at all,” Edelgard told them. “But Caspar wanted me to let you all know that he and Lindhardt are leaving straight from the beach tonight.”

“Well, give us a few minute-” Dorothea started, before Bernadetta jumped in.

“Can we get going now?” She asked, surprising everyone with her initiative.

“Well, Hubert and I were planning to ask if you guys needed a ride. If that’s the case we’ll get ready.” Edelgard told them.

Flashing a smug grin, Dorothea poked Edelgard’s arm. “You want us to hurry so you can go see the professor.”

Clenching her fists, Edelgard stormed and left the room with Hubert in tow, amusing the two girls as they continued getting ready.

Since there were changing rooms, it meant Bernadetta had to bring actual clothes. Packing necessary supplies into a bag, the group met at Edelgards car, ready to leave the school.

“You guys headin out?” The Gatekeeper asked them as they pulled up.

“Yep, beach trip.” Edelgard informed him.

“You guys stay safe and have fun. Also have a great summer.” He told them.

Leaving Garrag Mach, Bernie clutched her bag with one arm as she looked back at the campus. A school years worth of memories with her classmates becoming more and more distant as they drove on. After so long, Bernadetta wasn’t all that quite sure about life on campus, but that problem was long in the past. For now, her focus was on the people she actually cared for, and cared about her.

Though there was a notable driving distance to the beach, and Bernadetta needed a recharge after that phone call. Her eyes drifted shut as the school tower faded over the distance.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Maybe changing rooms weren’t all that bad. After all, it meant Bernadetta being just a wall away from being naked with Dorothea. Though she wasn’t really ready for that, it was still exciting to think about. Having finished changing, the girl pressed her face towards the wall and whispered to the otherside.

“Dorothea, are you almost done?”

“You got the wrong side, Bernie.” Ingrid’s voice spoke from the other side.

Squeaking in fright, Bernadetta frantically apoligzed as she could hear Dorothea laughing from her other side. “I’m going outside.” She declared, wanting to hide eternally from the embarrassment. All that time spent building up the courage to wear a pale blue two piece and she humiliates herself.

Walking outside, Bernadetta was meant with the ocean air coming in from the coast, carrying waves to shore. With all the people around, she found herself searching for a familiar face in the crowd. In the distance, she could see Edelgard talking to Byleth, who was tending to something on the beach.

Her flip flops got caught on the sand a lot, but she didn’t mind. Making it over, she found a large group set up as Byleth finished sculpting sand around someone.

“I never knew you were good at something like this.” Edelgard commented.

“Yeah, kinda just something I picked up on.” He commented, adding the finishing touches that turned a pile of sand into a mermaids body. “My dad was pretty good at it, said he used to show my mom all sorts of stuff with it.” Byleth explained, digging a hole with his hands and placing a drink in it, positioning the straw towards his half buried subject. “Can you keep an eye on all our stuff?” He asked.

“Sure thing!” Sothis proclaimed proudly. “Nothing gets past my watchful eyes.” She boasted.

Between her professor burying a girl in sand and Edelgard wanting to hang out with him, Bernie figured it best she leave them be for now, wanting to explore around some more. For her, this was the first time she had ever been to the beach from her recollection. After applying some sunblock, she set off to explore the sights, making sure to not trip over Lindhardt, who slept under an umbrella.

Looking around, the first person to catch her eye was Marianne, standing alone by an umbrella. Walking over, Bernadetta initiated the conversation. “Hey there, Marianne.” She greeted the timid girl, who looked pleased to see her.

“Oh, hi Bernadetta.” She responded. “It’s nice seeing you here.” 

“Yeah,” Bernie looked around. “Is Hilda here?”

“Oh, yeah.” Marianne told her. “She had to use the bathroom so I was waiting for her.” She said, pausing briefly. “I hear you and Dorothea are dating. That’s really great for you.”

“Oh!” Bernadetta flushed. “Th-thanks… it’s been nice I mean we… study together… and hang out in my room…” It felt weird talking about these kinds of things with Marianne, who had been dating Hilda for way longer.

“It is nice, isn’t it?” Marianne asked. “I mean, having a girlfriend. Hilda’s been really great to be around.” She told her.

“Yeah…” Bernadetta couldn’t help but get bashful as well. “Dorothea is great, amazing…” Bernie wanted to proclaim that Dorothea was the best thing to ever happen to her, but held onto her humility for the time being.

“Mari!” Hilda yelled out from the distance. The two looked over to see the pink haired girl jogging towards them. Marianne blushed a deep red and had to stop herself from turning away at the sight of Hilda’s swim top not being as secure as it should have been. 

Approaching them, Hilda eagerly greeted them. “Hi sweetie!” She said to Marianne, before looking down and adjusting her top. “Sorry about that, the others wanted to know if you want to hit the snack bar with us.” She quickly turned to the black eagles student. “Hey Bernadetta.”

“Sure…” Marianne said, her face still red. Turning to Bernie, Marianne could feel herself be practically dragged away by Hilda. “See you around, Bernie.”

“Yeah…” Bernadetta waved awkwardly as the two ran off. Just as soon as one friend departed did another call out to her.

“Yo, Bernie!” Caspar called out, waving her over. Standing beside him was the most gorgeous woman Bernadetta had ever seen. Clad in a pink and black bikini top with a fabric tied around her waist, Dorothea adjusted her hat as her eyes lit up at the sight of her girlfriend.

“You look so cute.” Dorothea called out to her excitedly, as if her looks weren’t even worth acknowledging.

Approaching them, Bernadetta only got more flustered the closer she got to her. “I… I…” How could she find any words to describe how amazing she looked. “You look…”

“Ah!” Caspar pointed. “You got her stumped.” He clenched a fist. “Guess that means I’m paying for food.”

“Told you it would work.” Dorothea boasted as she draped an arm around Bernadetta’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s get something to eat. Caspar’s paying.”

Taking hold of her hand, Bernadetta walked alongside Dorothea. Even as her friends conversed, all she could think about was how she felt like she was the queen of the world. Anyone who caught sight of Dorothea would surely stop in awe at her beauty, and draped by her side was her.

Sitting at a table as Caspar ordered them food, the pair had a moment to themselves. As the seagulls cawed in the distance, all Bernadetta did was stare at Dorothea, who eagerly stared back before giving a playful wink, making her girlfriend flustered per usual.

“Lost for words, huh?” The brunette teased.

“Oh, I mean…” Bernadetta giggled nervously. “You look so good I couldn’t find the words.”

“That’s fine.” Dorothea cooed, pulling her girlfriend close with one arm. “I knew you thought I looked good.” She planted a few kisses on top of her head, something Bernadetta appreciated very much. “But you, though. You look so cute!” 

Leaning into her shoulder as a playful way to hide her blushing, Bernadetta wrapped an arm around her neck and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you… Dorothea…” Her voice called out, low enough that only she could hear. “For everything, really.”

Taking Bernadetta’s hands in hers, Dorothea looked into her ears. “I know everything’s changed a lot for you this past year, Bern.” She spoke sincerely. “And it’s been amazing to watch you overcome so much hardship.”

Looking into her eyes, Bernadetta leaned forward. “It was all because of you that I could.” She told her before pulling her into a kiss.

Pulling away before anyone could see them, Bernadetta wore a confident smile as she looked up to see Caspar approaching with a plate of nachos, Ferdinand and Petra following behind him. “Here you are, Ladies!” He announced, presenting them with a tray of food.

“Thanks so much, Caspar.” Dorothea smiled kindly to him. “I probably can’t eat too much in a suit like this but…”

Turning to Bernadetta, the brunette was nearly agasp to see her already devouring a plate of nachos. 

“Someone hungers.” Petra commented.

“So Petra, you’re going back to Brigid, right?” Ferdinand asked, striking a conversation.

“That is correct.” She nodded her head. “Having not seeing my family in so long, I await to return.”

“Bet it’ll be great speaking native tongue again.” Caspar commented.

“Ugh,” Petra rolled her head back in agreement. “ **What a relief it’ll be** .” She spoke in a completely foreign tongue, amusing her friends.

“Weren’t you speaking that at the party?” Ferdinand pointed out.

“Yes,” She perked up. “Was fun to watch you all in confusion.”

“Man, that’s cold.” Caspar commented, taking a bite of a french fry. “I was too drunk that night to deal with stuff like that.”

“You weren’t aggressive to me.” Petra reminded him.

“Yeah, that’s true.” He nodded. “I got in a shouting match with this guy here.” He pointed to Ferdinand.

“And I don’t even remember the reason why, either.” The redhead recalled, chuckling a little. “You were just mad.”

“I was, I’m sorry.” Caspar defended.

“See, I don’t remember much about this part.” Dorothea said. “I must have been far gone by then.”

“You started to rile them up.” Bernadetta spoke up. “I had to drag you upstairs before you made them fight.”

“I did?” 

“Oh yeah!” Caspar exclaimed, leaning his head back as he started laughing. “You were ‘ha ha you’re mad little man’ or something like that.” He told them, making a high pitched voice to in an attempt to mock Dorothea’s way of speaking.

Dorothea shook her head, caught up in the humor of it all. “I don’t remember this.” She laughed. “But it sounds like something that you would instigate.”

“Alright,” Caspar raised his hands defensively. “I promise not to get wasted at parties and yell at people. Alright, Casp the flask is no more.” He waved his hands to the side, Ferdinand snorting at his new nickname.

“Also Claude is right behind us.” Dorothea pointed out.

In nothing but a pair of swim trunks and sandals, Claude walked over to the group, phone in hand. “Hey hey Bee Eee’s.” He greeted them. “Facetiming with Dimitri right now, so everyone say hi.” He told them, pointing the front camera at the group.

Giving the group time to wave, he continued walking. “Alright, yep I see her.” He told Dimitri.

  
  


Walking along the shore, Edelgard followed her teacher close behind. “So… Byleth.” She spoke. “What are your plans for the summer?”

“Well,” He turned to face her. “My dad and I are gonna be sticking close by here, with the new job and all.” He explained. “Not much is planned, just resting for now, I guess.”

“I see…” Edelgard commented, unsure if she should continue.

“You’re going home for the summer, aren’t you?” His voice called to her.

Nodding, she reluctantly spoke. “Yes, Hubert and I have a house we stay at when schools out.” She said. “We might have some other guests there but for now that’s the plan.” 

Looking up to face him, Edelgard bolstered her confidence. “Professor, sorry.” She hesitated for a moment. “Byleth… I just wanted to say thank you. If it weren’t for your teachings I… you lead me down the right path, one that I happily will walk with you, forever if I could.”

Giving her his full attention, Byleth walked towards her. “You were my finest student,” He stated. “You helped keep your class together, even when tensions between the other houses were at an all time high.” Her teacher told her. “You should know you’ll always have value to me as a person, El.”

Grabbing his hands, Edelgard was certain what she was doing was wrong, but she didn’t care. The two leaned closer, feeling their breath on each others faces. Just as she stepped closer, the sound of something stirring caught her attention.

“Oh!” Claude exclaimed as he turned away, the two looking him down.”

“Claude.” Edelgard stated, trying to get his attention. 

“Oh hey, teach.” The Golden Deer leader acknowledged. “Edie.” He nodded to her.

“Claude.”

“Wow, professor. Gotta say,” He nodded. “You have a really good beach bod.”

“Thank you.” He responded.

“Claude, please.”

“Wanna go jogging later? I bet you have killer stam-”

“Claude!” Edelgard scolded angrily, her face beet red.

“Look I’m sorry because Dimitri might have seen that.” Claude said, holding up his phone to reveal who he was facetime with.

“Actually I can see you guys.” Dimitri said, hanging up as he approached the group. “I’ll apologize on behalf of Claude’s intrusion.”

“Yeah guys, I didn’t actually mean to interrupt something.”

“It’s… fine…” Edelgard told them attempting to keep her composure. “I’m just happy to see you guys here.”

“Likewise,” Claude agreed.”

“To you as well.” Dimitri likened. 

There was an awkward silence between them, before Blyeth, of all people, spoke up. 

“Well, if you aren’t opposed, I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you all one last time.”

The house leaders looked back at the teacher in surprise, not expecting him to propose something like that.

“I might as well,” Dimitri stated. “Annette was with me before running off with Lysithea and I’m not looking to be responsible for any trouble they cause.”

“That’s the spirit.” Claude patted his back. “Count me in, only person I could get to come with me was Hilda and she brought her girlfriend with her, of all people.” He sarcastically expressed his disdain for them complete with an exaggerated eye roll.

“I guess after the year we had then that would be very nice.” Edelgard commented.

“Yeah, I got a hell of a story to tell you about Edie.” Claude started. “This one time in the Third grade…”

“CLAUDE!” Edelgard yelled, breaking into a full run at her friend, who anticipated as much and took off running as well.

As Edelgard chased Claude down the beach, Dimitri and Byleth were more than happy to follow.

* * *

  
  


Narrowing her field of view, Bernadetta was certain she’d be able to compose a half decent sketch of the shore. The sun was setting, allowing her the perfect lighting to get a view of the ocean. In the distance, Caspar sat on Lindhardt’s shoulders, struggling to push over Ingrid who sat on Sylvain’s shoulders.

“They are so gonna hurt themselves.” Dorothea joked, looking over at Bernie’s drawing. Looking over at Bernie’s drawing, she smiled at her progress. 

The day was winding down, the sky slowly gaining it’s dusk hues. All the crowds from early were fizzling out, with only a few of the GMU students remaining. Overlooking the water, Edelgard and Dimitri watched as Byleth ran around with Sothis.

“Here you folks are,” Claude offered them two bottles. Accepting their drinks, the trio raised their glasses in a toast. “To the memories of a fun school year.”

“Cheers.” Dimitri told them, clinking their bottles together.

Downing a few sips, Edelgard turned her sights back towards the water, watching the remainder of their classmates play in the water. “You know, I’m gonna miss this.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t it be great to stay in school forever.” Claude chided. 

“I wish we could stay this happy.” Dimitri mulled, sipping his beer. “But I want you all to know that no matter what happens between us, I’ll always cherish this time with you all.”

Putting their arms around each other, the trio overlooked the ocean. They knew it wouldn’t last forever, but knowing they took the time for something like this was enough for each other.

A car horn caught their attention, and Bernadetta looked over to see a group of older boys with a hair color similar to Caspars.”

“Yep, that’s my ride.” He said as he rushed onto shore. “Lindhardt, lets go.” He waved his head as he grabbed a towel.

“Aw, already?” Ingrid called out. “Damnit,”

“He’s leaving?” Bernadetta questioned.

“Yep,” Dorothea told her, rising to her feet. “Better hurry, before he gets away from us.”

Rushing up to the parking lot, Bernadetta could see Caspar arguing with what he presumed was his family.

“I’ll just wear the towel in the car.” He told them. “Just let me say goodbye to my friends.” Caspar turned towards the group, Lindhardt lazily joining his side.

“Well you guys, it was great having you in my class,” Blyeth told them.

“Yeah professor, you rocked.” Caspar told him. 

“You actually made staying awake in class worthwhile from time to time.” Lindhardt commented.

“Well, make sure to stay in touch,” Edelgard told them. “You guys were fun to have around.”

“She admitted it!” Caspar threw his arms in the air in a success, before pulling Edelgard in a hug. “I’ll miss you too, Edie.”

Opening the car door and sitting down, Lindhardt faced his friends once more and smiled. “I didn’t expect to have such an interesting group of classmates, thank you all for that.”

“Aw, he does care.” Dorothea commented.

Bernadetta waited until Caspar finished accomplishing the great task of hugging Hubert goodbye before she made her approach. “Caspar!” She called out to him, making sure he wouldn’t leave without hearing what she wanted to say.

“Hey Bernie.” He said, pulling her into a hug. “Wow, you’re getting tall.” He commented.

Bernadetta smiled before pulling him into another hug. “Thank you… for being a friend.” she told him, letting a tear roll down her cheek.

“Of course, I’d do it all again.” He told her, pulling away. As she wiped her eyes, Dorothea stepped forward. “You two take care of each other, okay?”

“Of course we will.” Dorothea told him. 

“Don’t worry,” Bernadetta told him.

Stepping into the car, he closed the door. Rolling down the window quickly before the car could pull out of the parking spot, Caspar stuck his arm and head out the window to wave goodbye to his friends one last time.

With the car gone, the group had settled down. Their day was reeling to an end. As they walked back to the beach, Bernadetta couldn’t help but think of what the circumstances for herself were now. “Ya know… I think this was the first time feeling this alive in a long time.” Bernadetta admitted.

“Really,” Dorothea commented. “Are you still thinking about your parents?”

“Well, yeah.” She confessed. “I feel like at some point I’ll have to face them again, but doing that, and then all this, I never thought life was this kind of exciting for me.

Dorothea tipped Bernadetta’s chi upward. “That’s why you try to do the things you love most in life, regardless who gets in your way.”

Placing a hand on her wrist, Bernie smiled. “You’re probably right.”

“Yep, now come on. Let’s grab out stuff.” Dorothea said, turning away.

“Wait!” Bernadetta called out. “Before that can… can we swim in the water, just before we leave…?”

With how late she asked, Bernie was certain Dorothea would say no. To her surprise, the brunette smiled, taking her by the hand and leading her into the water. Yelping at how cold it was, Bernadetta opted to travel in further, to the point where her and Dorothea’s waists were submerged.

Holding onto each other as the waves carried them back to shore, Bernadetta caressed a lock of wet hair out of Dorothea’s face with calm hands. Floating gently in the water, she pulled her into a deep kiss. Nothing about this moment made her want to let go, but she knew the moment she did it would only lead to another memory she’d make with Dorothea, and that’s what made her happy the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who have read this far, I thank you.


	24. Epilouge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you wondering what song I'm closing the fic out on, wonder no more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pisA3ZTDSkU

Stirring just slightly in her chair, the train track continued rumbling from under her feet as the car kept moving. Glancing towards the window, Bernadetta couldn’t recall any noteworthy landmarks.

They passed the stop, she figured. The stop they were heading to was beyond where Bernadetta would have initially gotten off, back to her parents. Instead, off she went to somewhere unknown, an entire new world for her.

All so jarring for a girl like her, to leave like this. But Bernadetta knew better than to think of herself that way. A year ago, a timid, frightened girl who was scared of her own shadow. Now, she was still those things, but she knew that didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of great things.

Letting out a tired whimper, Dorothea rested a head on Bernadetta’s shoulder. What followed was the girl struggling to empty her pockets of her earbuds and phone.

“Sorry, I’ll move.” Dorothea told her, lifting her head.

“No, it’s fine.” Bernadetta said, resuming a comfortable sitting position.

With her earbuds in, Bernadetta continued looking out the window. With her hand in Dorothea’s, she knew that whatever came next, she was up to the challenge.

Her destination unknown, but her goal of finding the best version of herself she knew to be achievable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly I wanted to end it on the beach chapter, but I figure a little bonus chapter at the end wouldn't hurt. I kinda wanted to end this fic on a note similar to the anime Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, so that's mainly why I included it.
> 
> Won't lie, it's been a hell of a ride. I picked up Three Houses after work on launch day and picked Black Eagles route. During my playthrough, I absolutely fell in love with Bernadetta, and the idea of a modern college au was something I started to consider.
> 
> I'm still dissapointed we never got the Bernadetta/Dorothea A support that the two deserved, so hopefully this will fill that void.
> 
> This fic was mainly envisioned in the Autumn setting first. Everyone knows the month of October is the most inspiring month and that's probably why most of the chapters take place during that month. I almost wished I had just written the entire fic taking place during Fall, but I also had the Valentines day chapter and the tearful confession planned out.
> 
> It is sad to see this fic end after a year of writing it, but it's good to see it come to it's conclusion. When I started writing it, I had so much excitement for how I wanted to portay the characters. To those dissapointed by the Three Houses characters I didn't get around to writing, I understand your anger and humbly apologize. 
> 
> With everything going on, I'm just trying to take myself back to when I first discovered fanfiction, and the one I got into never being updated or finished. Since then it's been a desire to write a long term fic like this. I've tried before and failed, so I was happy to find something I could enjoy writing about.
> 
> I will admit, however, that I may have gotten too involved in the fandom for my own good. Sadly, the focus that could have gone to a Blue Lions or a Golden Deer route was put into this fic. I still haven't even finished the dlc.
> 
> But I want to thank you, reader. I played a game a year ago and enjoyed the experience so much that I deciding to turn it into a story. Things like Ingrid and Dorothea flirting in front of Bernadetta was something I got direct inspiration from my playthrough. I do think this fic would have been better if I had actually gotten around to playing the other routes, but I am never the less grateful for all the support this story got.
> 
> Now then, it's time I rest, and maybe play the rest of Fire Emblem Three Houses.
> 
> Hope you all have a good one.


End file.
